Avatar of TheGrundlesnart
  • Last Seen: 2 yrs ago
  • Joined: 6 yrs ago
  • Posts: 136 (0.06 / day)
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    1. TheGrundlesnart 6 yrs ago

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Recent Statuses

4 yrs ago
Current AD&D was more or less 1.5e. That's not *totally* accurate but it kinda evokes what happened. I've not done D&D in a hot minute, tho.
1 like
6 yrs ago
To everyone who has been patiently awaiting posts, my apologies. I will try to get out a round of posts today!
1 like
6 yrs ago
To anyone waiting on posts from me: as some of y'all know, my place of work minorly caught on fire on Tuesday and I had to deal with that. Literally. Anyways. That's why I'm slow lately.
1 like
6 yrs ago
As a Texan, the proper spelling is "Y'all" not "ya'll." It is a contraction of "You all" not "Ya all." That's all I have to say on any of this.
6 likes
6 yrs ago
I'm happy to announce that, illness-wise, I seem to be out of the woods. Thanks for your patience, everyone!
10 likes

Bio

Yo, what up. I'm The Grundlesnart.

What's a grundlesnart? Me. I'm a grundlesnart.

I've been RPing for like 16 years, since back when Yahoo Groups was still a thing. So yeah, I'm an old fart.

Most Recent Posts

STEELBIRD LANDING





The title screen flashes, showing a distant shot of the downed planes deep in the jungle, a heavy tribal beat pumping as an orchestra begins to play, accompanied by heavy metal guitar in a slow but grinding dirge. We see shots of a destroyed Rio, of great chasms in the earth, of apes screeching at the camera, of a strange, many-knuckled hand clutching the lip of a rain-soaked cliff, and then all fades to black.


AVENUE AND SPARROW


When the scene fades in from the blackness of before, we are treated to muffled screams and a close up shot over someone's shoulder as she takes aim with her bow. She is aiming at an ape currently in the middle of dragging away a screaming man holding a knife and taking wild swings at the thing. The camera rotates around, and we see you, Sparrow, let loose your arrow into the ape's flank, causing it to howl and drop the man in favor of cradling its new, seeping wound. Almost as soon as the camera returns to you, we see another ape drop from the trees onto you, throwing its club-like arms at your head with a trilling scream. If it gets a solid hold of you, you know the thing will rip off your arm and club you to death with it.

With a violent jerk of the camera, we see you, Avenue, holding your weapon of choice in hand and brandishing it at one of the large apes in the troop trying to drag away one of your flock to be eaten. Scatter is bleeding profusely from the head, and the ape is holding a large rock above its head, threatening to club your brains out with it. In the background, we see four more apes harassing members of your flock with sticks, rocks, teeth, and nails. Tum Tum, your right hand man, calls out, "PROVE YOUR STRENGTH IN HOPE, BRETHREN!"
We are right outside of your little... Chapel? Cult Hut? Whatever it is, describe it to us. Oh yeah, and tell us why the fuck the apes are trying to kill your flock.

Sparrow, why are you out by Avenue's place, why are you helping, and what are you going to do about this ape trying to violently push your brain out through your ears?


PEPSI AND HEMLOCK

We cut to a new scene, in the heart of Steelbird Landing. We see a tent, erected by stitching together many tarps. We hear, briefly, the sound of a few gasps and yelps of alarm. There is a small crowd gathered near the front of a long bar, forming a circle around something interesting happening in its center. The crowd seems to have gone still for a moment. In the center of this circle, we see Pepsi.

You have a shattered bottle jammed deep into the neck of a bearded man named First. His hot blood is racing in rivulets down your arm, and his own fists are opening and closing uselessly as if desperately clinging to the life seeping out of his body while you hold him in a sort of perverse, macabre hug.

Pepsi, what happened here? What do we hear you whispering into First's ear? Why is the crowd starting to cheer when you finish talking?

Hemlock, we watch the camera slowly zoom into your face, and we watch you smile and pull yourself from the crowd as they begin to hoot and holler. We see the violation glove on your hand. What does it look like? What are you smiling about? How did you cause this? Why? Where are you going now?


ALCOHOL AND MILK

Alcohol, we find you in your "office" where you do your official business. In your post, please tell us where that is and what it looks like inside. While you're at it, tell us about the report you're hearing from Twice about another monster sighting just outside of the walls last night, and what Coop is saying the thing did... and said.

Milk, you're going to give Alcohol a rough time of it. You're looking for Hemlock, and have a strong suspicion that Alcohol knows where Hemlock is right now. You need to know where Hemlock is, because she knows where Twix is at. You're especially angry about her disappearance today... tell us why. Oh, and also make sure to include what you're threatening Alcohol with to really put the screws to him.


Ok so I love this and let me join.
I updated some thangs
Merry Christmas to all!

Isaac looked sheepish at DJ's joke, but managed to smile through it. "Ah, but that would require me to be slim, and named Jim. Which I'm neither." He patted his stomach. He wasn't fat, not really. You'd barely tell by how he referenced himself but he was just a bit bigger than ideal. He just couldn't seem to rid himself of the spare tire, you know?

But he laughed nervously at the joke, uncomfortable with the reminder that somehow, of everyone, he was the one sandwiched between attractive girls this early on. That should have been literally any other male at this party, as far as he was concerned.

Of course, all of this was quickly thrust from his mind as conflict began. He didn't like conflict, especially not watching his friends fall into conflict over things like this.

"Hey guys, let's lighten up, alright? We don't need to be rude to one another. I'm sure Ron has something of a valid reason to be upset, even if he's not communicating it effectively, which happens to everyone. Right? God knows I'm terrible at communicating how I feel about things. It's never been easy for me. I'm just not that kind of guy, right?" He swallowed. He'd probably been talking for too long. "Maybe we should take... a vote?" His voice trailed off towards the end as he realized how long he'd been talking and how little he'd probably helped matters. He wanted to apologize but figured that would just make matters worse.

He looked at Berns, then at Alice, as if their two reactions would be a good measurement of the group's response as a whole. He wasn't going to say anything, but DJ mentioning the SHS website filled him with morbid anxiety. He'd just barely arrived and now he found himself glancing at the door every few seconds, as if ready to dart for it. And the continued tension in the room was doing him no favors. He didn't really have anything to offer as far as help, so really he just wanted to leave the awkward tension for a while and come back when it was over.

"Ya know what? I'm gonna get some... fresh air, yeah? I guess... anyone who's also a party pooper can join me. I'll be back in a few, I'm not leaving or anything." he smiled and stood up, taking something of a half jog up the stairs and out the front door, stopping to breathe for a second when he made it out. Jeeze. Things were already off to an intense start down there. He didn't want to be gone for long. He just needed a second to readjust his expectations. Get himself back to a rational thought pattern, you know? He couldn't let his hormones get the better of him, or his feelings, and do something foolish. And tonight would be an especially bad time, he could tell. So he took his moment.
Congratulations to my Six Selected Sickos.
I hope we all have a beautifully ash-choked time together out in the strangling vines and ravenous apes.

Before we begin, I need to introduce you all to certain things you can always do in your posts to trigger specific responses from me, the GM.

OPEN YOUR BRAIN

You may always open your brain to the psychic maelstrom to receive hidden knowledge and secrets. Think of it as a sort of "acquire random meta-information" card. Obviously, don't do it every damn post, because the more you do it, the less specific and the more random-as-fuck the information becomes, until it's so esoteric as to be useless. for Weird characters, you may occasionally do this for no reason, because I said you did.
Congrats.

READ A SITUATION/PERSON

You can always read a situation or a person to pick up on details I may have failed to mention. When you do, just ask the question your character wants answered in BOLD. If it's too specific, I can't guarantee you'll get much info. Broader questions that can be answered vaguely will get you better answers, ironically.

LOVE LETTERS

Sometimes, I will PM you a Love Letter. It will usually contain a shitty set of choices. You're welcome. Tell me what you want most and it will happen. You may never get one. You may get one regularly. Depends where you are, what you're doing, when you're going to arrive, why you care, who you're fucking, and how you taste. You know, the good shit.

IN CASE OF MURDER, BREAK GLASS

I expect us all to play nicely... kinda. For the most part, conflict can be figured out via a general agreement to not be shitty about it. If you feel that an element of randomization is needed, I will roll dice about it. 2d6, with a +2 for anyone who seems to have an advantage in the situation. (So like if Pepsi decides to beat the shit out of Milk, he's gonna get the +2 because he's real good at killing. But he might not get that against Alcohol. Meanwhile, if Milk has seduced Pepsi and is about to stab him at the height of their passion, then she gets the advantage. Get it? Good.)
on a 10+, things will go well for you.
on a 7-9 things will go pretty good, but it will cost you.
on a 6 and under, shit will go wrong.

Those apply before comparing generalized victory. It is possible to do a better job of kicking ass than the other person, while also having some really fucking awful shit go down.

BUT! We may never use this. It's just, ya know, available as a quick-and-dirty conflict resolving tool.
No crying if it doesn't work out for you. You know what you signed up for.

THE END

The RP ends when we're pretty sure the storyline has reached a natural conclusion.
No, seriously, that's it. When we all feel like yeah, we've gotten there, that's when we call it. We'll do some epilogues and whatnot and that will be that. I'm in this to see what happens. I have no plot ready, just bad shit going down EVERYWHERE.

So... good luck, chucklefucks!
THIS IS THE LAST CALL
IF YOU HAVE NOT FINISHED YET AND NEED QUESTIONS, PM ME TODAY!!!

IF YOU HAVEN'T POSTED A NON-WIP BY 12AM CENTRAL TIME, I WILL NOT BE CONSIDERING YOU.

POST YOUR SHIT, MEAT!
THIS IS THE LAST CALL.

POST YOUR SHIT TODAY OR FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE.

FINAL LIST IS DECIDED TOMORROW.
Dang it am I too late?


I pick my 6 on Wednesday.
hey is it to late to join this?


I'm making my final character selection on Wednesday. If you can put together an interesting character by then, you're golden.

Remember: I'm not worried about having people with lots of in-world control. If you wanna be the Governor of Steelbird Landing, that's fine. I've got no problems with it. The more you have, the more you stand to lose, and that's the fun of this RP.

Were in it to make a volatile concoction of situations and see if the shrapnel makes pretty trails in the air when it explodes.
@Stekkmen

Do it, brother!
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