Thoughts on queer fandom? [MATURE, 18+]

[Pair of Hearts]

I'm pro LGBTQ+. I really don't care if someone is monogamous or polygamous, homosexual or heterosexual (or asexual, demisexual, pansexual, spatulasexual, potatosexual, Hidenorisexual, etc, you get my point). If it matters, I'm a genderfluid bicurious unicorn. Hi.

I balk at discrimination, terrorism and bullying of queer folks. I don't think queerness is a disease or mental illness. I certainly don't think queer rape (or women on men rape) is "fictitious" or "not as damaging" as men on women rape. I'm looking at you with disdain, Doctor Mary Koss.

I also admit that I like yaoi. I like the bromance, the lacey beans (les yay) as much as I like the canonical verse, if not more.

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I recently joined a site for yaoi roleplay because I didn't want to weird my "strictly straight and traditional" friends out in case they see. (Wait, do I have people like this in my circle? Maybe I should remove them? No, that's heterosexual bashing.) Plus, I really like men (more often, in my encounters), and being a genderfluid lets me feel "safe" and "honest" when I roleplay as a dude at times.

After a whole month of being part of this (yaoi) community on that forum, I can say that the majority of the fanGIRLS (WHY are they always girls??) HORRIFY me.

Since when was rape "an expression of love"? _{surprise buttsecks is sooo hawt amirite?!} Since when do butts excrete sex juices? _{look at you, you want this right, you're all wet down here... *pokes backdoor*} Since when do gay men have supernatural psychic powers of knowing who's seme/top/dom or uke/bottom/sub?

Since when do men have OVARIES??

Back to my most passionate objection: Since when was objectifying queer people okay?

"It's not meant for your demographic!!" is ... a disappointing answer, fellow fans of yaoi/yuri.

I don't even know why I'm stressed out by this. Ah, right, I hadn't realised half the roleplayers there sound homophobic once no sexy beautiful men sex is occurring, and so agreed to GM a group that I refuse to abandon "just because". Stupid. Am I a bad GM if I secretly don't respect my players outside of writing skills? Am I ... a bad person for being judgemental?

Maybe this is why I feel oddly ashamed to say, "Hey, I ship those two dudes/girls together!" because others will assume I want the canon female/male love interest to die 23 terribad ways for being in the way of TWU WUV. Damn it.

[McHaggis]

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[Pair of Hearts]

@McHaggis

In roleplaying, particularly WoW RP, I gotta laugh when I can instantly tell that it's a dude playing the female character hitting on my female character.

I always wonder how people can tell the gender behind the screen. It's a "You're cooler than a psychic! You're clairvoyant!" moment for me. //laughs

Yo - I'm a part of it (butch lady who likes both men and women) and in roleplaying I, like you, prefer to roleplay as male characters be they straight, gay, asexual, w/e. I try if I'm writing the hanky-panky erotica of the MxM variety to keep it tasteful and, you know, not fetishized. I'm not really a fan of the yaoi tag as a result – seme and uke stuff ain't my jam, you know? _{also fuck mpreg seriously wtf}

I don't mind if two queer folks DO like the whole daddy/boy dynamics or mistress/pet thing. If it works for them, if it harms nobody, go for it. But the heteronormative application is CELEBRATED and ENCOURAGED, which irritated me.

A lot of them eagerly approached me after I put up my intro and RP criteria thread. Always, first post itself includes: "I'm an uke xD not weak though". Or along the lines.

What. The. Fuck.

Well, I guess people should disclose their sexual preference since it may get steamy. But the "uke" I see ALWAYS get reduced to blushing, blubbering mess. The only denominator here is that they want to get penetrated.

And half of them ooze out weird lubrication from the ass.

I must have missed THAT class in Biology because I don't recall such anatomy before. One girl even said she wants to do omegaverse (fine by me, I'm liberal) and m!preg (which caused me to inhale slowly).

The baby will come out of the genital.



Send help.

Also, as a butch lady, do you get offended if or when people refer to you as a dyke? Genuine curiosity here.

[McHaggis]

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[Cyndyr]

Bisexual lady here to say that it's absolutely disgusting how some fangirls (and fanboys, I ain't discriminating here) tend to write and act online especially in regards to the queer fandom. Unfortunately, we can't stop it, so we can only ignore it. And laugh at it. It's one of the many boils of the internet and it reminds us why exactly so many people treat the internet as a joke.

[Pair of Hearts]

@McHaggis

I didn't realise your custom title until I made that post. A bit of a ditz I guess I am.

And ahh. I usually just use "effeminate/feminine vs butchy/masculine", but I've had people snort at me and call me a pansy for "being a scared wuss in case you offend anyone". Idk. Neurotic I am, maybe.

Even now, my anxiety about offending has switched on my Yoda talk.

For me, as an Asian (Chinese by race, not nationality), I've received really unsavoury reactions from my own family. The worst response was from my birth mother, who threatened to shove me into a mental institution. Luckily, I'm adopted and was just visiting her for a week once every few years. For my foster mom, she refuses to hear any of it (denial), and for my foster dad, he just chuckles nervously. Then again, he also chuckled nervously when I said I don't mind if my future spouse is a non-Asian. Maybe it's an Asian thing??

I remember coming out as bisexual in school around eighth grade, and was ostracised. The teacher then had a special request from the principal (sigh) to educate the kids. Basically she used words like "mutation", "Americanised", and "phase". I feel bad for queer kids in my school that may be closeted.

Strangely enough it never depressed me. Just annoyed.

As for your coming out, it always makes me happy to know there are cool parents and that they're not some mythic urban legend.

[Pair of Hearts]

@Cynder

Just sayin' your custom title and mine sound good together. That and I adore the vurrent siggy and already miss the IE-chan one.

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Ah, right. But I try to be positive and hope that those fanboys know better than to write about impossible improbable anatomy. It's one thing if it's the premise/plot core, it's another if it's your character in an otherwise VERY, VERY vanilla setting.

Seriously still trying to recover from the baby-through-penis shock here ... a cup of Starbucks on "that's how GIRLS give birth!!! Men and women are EQUAL!!!"

[Cyndyr]

@Cynder

Just sayin' your custom title and mine sound good together. That and I adore the vurrent siggy and already miss the IE-chan one.

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Ah, right. But I try to be positive and hope that those fanboys know better than to write about impossible improbable anatomy. It's one thing if it's the premise/plot core, it's another if it's your character in an otherwise VERY, VERY vanilla setting.

Seriously still trying to recover from the baby-through-penis shock here ... a cup of Starbucks on "that's how GIRLS give birth!!! Men and women are EQUAL!!!"

@Pair of Hearts

I like Anne and Morgana, I think they're adorable. We might see IE-Chan again in the future, though. We'll see. Anyway, the internet is a very dark place and should not always be taken seriously. I really have to give it to the YouTubers who are shipped with their roommates or friends whatever by fangirls/boys, though. That would creep me out something fierce.

[Pair of Hearts]

@Cynder
Pewdiepie x Markiplier or something, right? I remember crying outrage to a friend on the phone. Sick. And those RPF (Real People Fanfics). I think my violent reaction (on the inside, compared to my expression) was due to this girl - or dude, idk - who used my selfie and my classmate's as RP face claims. Since then, using real models for photos or stories make me feel queasy.

[Cyndyr]

Pewdiepie x Markiplier or something, right? I remember crying outrage to a friend on the phone. Sick. And those RPF (Real People Fanfics). I think my violent reaction (on the inside, compared to my expression) was due to this girl - or dude, idk - who used my selfie and my classmate's as RP face claims. Since then, using real models for photos or stories make me feel queasy.

@Pair of Hearts

There's more than that. There's Dan x Phil, Gavin x Michael. . the list goes on. Any shipping of real life people (unless it's like, "Oh, I ship this character acted by so-and-so with this other character acted by so-and-so") is disgusting.

[HalfOfLancelot]

On the topic at hand, as a gay man, I kind of detest the yaoi fandom, just out of personal experience. And it's very easy to tell anyone who, at least in this particular fandom, who's a lady writing about a bishounen man having sex with another, more dominant, er, bishie, so to speak. Now, there are those out there who are absolutely fantastic writers who happen to like that kind of stuff and definitely props to them. They at least understand and acknowledge what they're writing about isn't an accurate depiction of gay sex. I personally dislike realism when it comes to writing erotica, but I think there's a requirement to a certain degree. Things like anatomy, proper lubrication, etc. is a must for me, at least.

Now, in terms of yaoi and boylove type of writing, I avoid it. My experiences with ladies who take the genre, the fandom, the roles a step too far have turned me off to anything LGBT related when it comes to anime or manga. It's turned me off to the feminization of men entirely. I don't dislike anyone who does it, or anyone who loves it, I just have no intention of writing anything remotely close. I do a lot to make sure I don't blur the line between the fetish and the person with that fetish. People like what they like and some of those things are... unsavory and extremely taboo in our society. I just feel, as long as they keep it in their mind, keep it to fiction, and acknowledge the fact that it's kind of... extreme, then I have no issues with them or the fetish in question. I mean, I talked and RP'd with a guy who had a big gore and torture fetish. He never forced those on my when writing 'cause he understood exactly how niche his kinks were, but it didn't change my opinion of him or the way he wrote.

I think the same goes for anyone who ships real life people. My sexuality verges on asexual, purely for the fact that any thought of me engaging in any sexual intercourse turns me off quicker than seeing a naked grandma. It's why my go to for anything that'll give me 'sexual satisfaction' is fictional and mostly written. I get my fix through movie and TV ships. But, I see RPF as pretty much exactly like what magazines do on a daily basis. People eat that shit up. Who's dating who. Who's getting married to who. What celebrity is having who's kid and what their name is. I'm pretty sure a majority of people have fanatasized, more than once, about their favorite movie star doing some *cough* unsavory things to them in a consensual environment (or non-consensual, hey no shame, as long as it... stays in your head or in a safe BDSM scene). It's just turning that 'you' into another actor, another real person. As long as that doesn't detriment anyone involved, I see absolutely no harm in it. I think a lot of stigma of it comes from the Supernatural fandom and how rabid a minority group of RPF shippers (it's like a minority group within a minority group within a fandom) have become in the recent years. If you start deluded yourself into thinking said actors or youtubers are actually involved and in a relationship, I think that's where it kind of needs to stop. There's tinhatting and then there's presuming your statements are fact and then stalking actual, real life people.

But, this topic is derailing with this RPF discussion. I definitely don't think there needs to be any bashing involved when it comes to people and their kinks. Not everyone is quite 'vanilla' in the aspect that they just like it when two people have sex. It goes to greater lengths than that and sometimes it goes to lengths beyond society's own standards. The only time I'll ever say something to a yaoi 'fangirl' is if they're also actively homophobic despite their whole 'boy love' 'seme/uke' deal.

In other words, I avidly avoid anything labeled 'yaoi' because it's just not for me. I've had bad experiences with it. I'm cool with other people enjoying it, as long as it doesn't harm anyone. And as long as their 'rape is an expression of my love' deal doesn't extend farther than their fictitious worlds. There's absolutely nothing wrong with liking non-consensual fiction, and rape-fantasy, as long as it stays fantasy. There are plenty of safe, sane, consensual ways to act these things in real life, as well. I mean, it's a part of BDSM culture for some people, ya know?

(As well, you might want to relabel your title. Add an 18+ because a lot of this topic deals with things that anyone under that age probably isn't legally allowed to read about. ;p I mean, I did a lot of shit just turning 13 that was 18+ crap, but it was all labeled, so I knew what I was getting myself into.)

[Pair of Hearts]

@HalfOfLancelot
Acknowledged.