At least five sentences. Don't have to be complete.
Alternatively, give a sentence for another to repeat the same too.

Eg. I have a secret.
Eg. That geezer is definitely picking on me.
Eg. Could I have a drink please?

You're all intelligent people. I'm sure you can do better.
I'm bored, procrastinating. Erased my attempt incase anyone was wondering.
Bring on the surprises, bonus points if you can leave out the vulgar.
Triple unicorn badge if it's from past experience.
Double unicorn if it was your own tirade.
Level 10 if you tell that yours was a double unicorn.

In half wonder of what were the limits of such forms of writing or expression.
In half want of own spam thread and interested how long it might stay up.
If ever.