9:30 Shibuya Mall
“And?” Leona asked as a rumble from her stomach underlined her words.
"I very probably focked up me grammar but um, that thereabouts should be where we’re supposed to be." Arthur said and pointed in the general direction the girls had said the restaurant was supposed to be.
"You know I'm surprised at how smooth that went." Colton remarked.
"It has to do with the local culture, there are some strict unofficial rules in place about how to treat guests with dignity. Not doing so reflects poorly not just on you but also on your entire family, with transgressions punishable up to impaling yourself on your own sword.” Arthur explained.
“I bet you wouldn’t mind impaling her with your sword eh?” Spoon said with a smirk.
“Good christ man they’re what, seventeen at best?” Arthur said faintly offended.
“So? You’re nineteen. Look, divide your own age by two, add six and round up, anything at or above that is not creepy. So for you sixteen is still a-okay, nevermind seventeen.” Spoon said. Arthur looked at him in silence.
“You know I’m actually morbidly impressed that you somehow have a formula for that.” he replied finally.
10:30 Shibuya Mall
While Leona was happily digging in to a third helping of their extended breakfast and Spoon was trying to arrange the dishes into an improvised set of drums, Colton confided into Arthur.
“Say lad, you’re good with the mobile phone right? Gimme a hand here. I think some bloke is trying to pull a fast one on me.” the older man said as he held out a battered old Nokia. Arthur whistled.
“Man that is an old one. Al-right let me see, what’s the problem?” he said.
“Under applications it says something about a demon summoning program, and I can’t get rid of it.” Colton
“You too?” said not Arthur, but Spoon of all people. Leona also looked up from her meal.
“What? You got that same summoning program?” Arthur said puzzled.
“Yeah, can’t get rid of it so I thought I might as well bring that thing in for repairs. Nokia has a head office around here I reckon. Although I hadn’t thought that this virus got the Sergeant too.” Spoon admitted.
“Spoon. One, Nokia is from Scandinavia, not Asia. Second, did we all get it or something?” Leona interjected. A short hunt for their respective mobile devices followed, and soon food or fake drumsets were forgotten. Despite being of different brands and running on vastly different systems, all devices carried the same program.
“So now what? We all got the same virus at the same time?” Colton said mildly irritated as they stared at the four mobile devices side by side.
“Hang on. You got a message from the same guy that sent you the program. Just like like me.” Arthur said as he fiddled with the brick phone.
“At 14:00 a man is mysteriously murdered in Chiyoda. At 18:00 a massive explosion will occur in Ikebukuro. That's all, have a nice day.” the young soldier read out loud.
A short silence drifted over the table as the troops processed this new development.
“Gotta kick it up the food chain.” they said simultaneously. Colton grabbed his phone and quickly dialed a number.
“Leftenant? Thoroughgood sir, I recently got a message saying- … I see sir... Yes sir… I see. Shibuya mall at some local restaurant sir… Er, officially off duty now sir… Yes sir, no problem. We’ll get it done.”
Colton hung up.
“Well then, looks like we’re stagging at Chiyoda from thirteen hundred onwards. Good news is, we still got the rest of the morning to waste to look like tourists.”
“Kit?” Spoon asked with a slightly off grin.
“Won’t be needed, there won’t be any fighting.” Colton said as he flagged down a waiter for the bill. The fact everyone knew the Sergeant wanted to add ‘hopefully’ to the end of his sentence went unsaid.
11:30 Shibuya mall
The four squaddies stood outside of a clothing store, where a traditional kimono was on display in a special free-standing glass safe. Through a cleverly positioned stand and mirror, it was possible to see how the garb would look without the need to take it out of it’s safe. Leona was first up, and just one glance made her snort in amusement.
“You won’t get a dress like that on me unless I’ve stopped breathing. Doesn’t suit me in the slightest.”
"Hm. How about me then?" Spoon joked, as he lightly pushed her out of the way.
"Looks perfect for Three Para Mortar Platoon." Colton said dryly.
“What?” Arthur said confused.
“You know, ‘take us from the rear and we’ll give you a good spanking.’ those guys?” Leona said mirthfully.
“What?” Arthur said even more confused. By now Spoon had hopped down and threw an arm around the younger man.
“Those who gallantly perform Operation Hoop with one another, that noble band of brethren and only brethren, the mortar platoon of the Third Battalion of the Parachute Regiment. Those brave bum bandits, those gentlemen's gentlemen, those crackpipe commandos, the takers of the other bus and pink pantella puffers.” he intoned lyrically.
“What?!”
“Oh for focks sake man. Gaaay.” Spoon said exasperated.
“Wha- No I got that much, just why the mortars?”
“Well it was always suspected since the founding but one day one of their members just flat out went and confirmed it. You see this bloke figured he wasn’t making enough money in her Majesty’s service so he got a second day job. As rent boy. We all had a real good laugh about it afterwards. Then as if that wasn’t confirmation enough, when they were out in the ‘Stan, and I quote one of them directly here: ‘The Taliban took us from the rear and we gave them a good spanking.” Colton explained.