Claire swallowed her selfish anger, lips curving into a gentle smile. He was just as unhappy and wanting as she. Her heart sank when he tossed the smooth stone before she got to her feet and walked to his side.
“That doesn’t count, you know,” she informed him quietly, looking out at the river. It looked inviting in this warm weather, but she knew she would cringe if her toes actually touched that chilly water. “I already won, no second chances.”
She sighed softly, finding his fingers with her own and holding tight. “I have thought of you as a lot of things, Nicholas, but below me was never, not once, one of them.” Her thumb brushed against the back of his hand, her eyes on him now. “Is that it, then? You see me the way you do and put a wall between us because we simply don’t belong together?” She smirked, amazed. If only she had seen the married through his eyes before, perhaps they could have already been falling for one another. “You silly man, I have not once looked down on you. In fact, I’d say I look up! I may not act like it because of my pride, but it’s true,” she laughed, remembering that first night once more. “For the past what…four months now? I have doubted every move I make, from simply stepping out the door to-“ Claire paused. “To more important decisions. You may be of trade, Nick, but I see you as the handsome man who has a chance to be with any woman in the room. I suppose that caused me to see arrogance that might not actually exist.”
Claire swallowed, a bit shamed at how she had acted. “I did not send a note those two weeks because I wanted you to prove you thought I was worth something. Why would Nicholas Rochford, who had the eyes of many women on him because of his looks and attractive words, need me to tell how deeply I craved his company? I thought it would be obvious.” There was so much to clear up…but was she rambling at this point? It didn’t matter. He needed to know she was different, and it wasn’t wealthy living that got her out of bed every morning.
“And for your information,” she added in a sing-song tone, “I do not try and be pale. I would love to spend all my time outside playing games or riding that gives one a tan, but how can I be anything but pale in these dreadfully hot clothes?” Claire complained, putting her fingers to the neck-line of her dress. Her blush was getting darker because of it. “As for marrying an eligible bachelor…” She frowned, letting go of his hand and taking a step closer to the water. She was very close to the edge, the wind coming off the tiny waves felt good on her face. “I will admit I didn’t argue with father much because I knew I needed you. You cannot be cross with me over that,” she defended quickly, “I can’t depend on my him forever, and reality would rather me starve otherwise. But if you knew me before you would have seen titles didn’t mean much to me. Noble men have asked to court me before, and I refused. So speak ill of high society if you wish,” she said, turning to face him and lifting her hands to rest on his chest, “but as you do so remember that I am at least a little different. Even you can admit that. For instance,” she giggled, nodding toward the river behind her, “I want nothing more than to jump into that water and splash you until you’re soaked, just to see the look on your face.” The thought brought a bright grin to her face as she closed her eyes, leaning forward until the brim of her hat touched his forehead.
“I’m sorry. You were right…again, though I don’t enjoy admitting it. I will not judge and assume you want to leave the room as soon as I enter it. Forgive me? I'm new at this thing called marriage we have between us.” It seemed the incident with the married man had brought her well below humility and into a lack of self-confidence. She hadn’t really noticed how bad it was, and certainly hadn’t meant to push that on Nick. It was possible, though, good had come of it all. As she said before, she did not think of herself as higher than anyone because of her name. As London had proved to her, some of her status could change in the course of a day. Claire reached up and brushed her fingers though his hair again, the corner of her lips twitching into a secretive smile when she saw how ruffled she had made his hair. “Tell me what you were going to say before. You were going on about contradicting yourself…I don’t understand, and it is important. You said you would be honest,” she playfully reminded him, hoping he wasn’t feeling so hurt anymore.