There was nothing to do but wait. The Guardian rested on a low branch since it was easier to climb. His back was against the tree trunk and he gazed out at the sunset. The longer he stared, the more he was unsure if it was getting darker or staying the same. Occasionally, his eyes went down to the sparkling water just below it. It was not time for play, nor was it time for hostilities. The whisper of the wind and the rustling of the branches above seemed to be telling him to talk and set things right. There needed to be clarity between them.
One moment they were to stay away, and the next they were closer than ever. It was definitely messing with the emotional guardian's head.
There was another soft whisper of the wind and it made him turn to see Seishu staring up at him. Not too long after, Enasi watched Seishu climb up and sit across from him.
They both were silent.
By now, Seishu would normally be telling him off or pinpointing his failures, expecting them to be corrected more than likely. Realizing that silence was there to stay unless Enasi removed it, he let out a sigh. It felt like he had been holding his breath. Some sort of weight lifted off his shoulders. If he was going to have to start the conversation, he was going to get everything out of the way.
"I know. . . I purposely didn't show up to see you wake. I knew it would upset you, even before Rue started his guilt trip and yet I did so anyway. I can understand why you're hurt, and I do sincerely apologize for it. . . It was out of my own selfishness, but it was also to go and visit my minions. They need me you know. . ."
The guardian paused for a minute, only to be urged on by some unknown force.
"It doesn't make sense- No, it hurts to spend every second with you. Not because I don't want to, in fact I enjoy it immensely when we're not fighting, but because you and I both know that this," He gestured around their world and then to the both of them. "This will seem like it never existed. We will be in our own separate realms as if none of this happened. I'm sure you realize how much that hurts right? From having the past two weeks give or take being. . . Such an experience, to having to pretend none of it ever happened. To have to go back to reliving that darkness that we're plagued by."
Everything he said was spoken with a fairly calm tone. Obviously, it was their world keeping them calm because even Enasi knew that he probably would have been teared up at the least. He went quiet, but only for a brief moment because he wasn't done getting everything off his chest. If he didn't do it now, who knew if he'd be able to do it.
"And yes, I know, I know. I bottle everything up. I try and try to keep all of my minions safe that way. It's suppose to be a perfect little haven for them. And it was, until you showed up." There was no malice in his voice even he said that, just fact. "They had nothing to worry about besides getting their jobs done. But I've been told countless times, now that they know, that they want to help. And countless times I've been told that it's not healthy to bottle up everything. It was working for me at first, but you ruined that too." Enasi caught his breath and rubbed his cheeks.
"I have to stop doing that I know. TB told me so as well. He's a wise old turtle that probably saw past it in the beginning. . ." He was running out of things to say. His ranting was simmering down. He realized how quiet it had gotten when he was speaking, but he didn't point anything out. . .
"I do a lot of things wrong. I have to fix it. It may take time, but eventually I'll fix it." This was told more to himself, before his eyes finally met Seishu's for longer than a second.
"I know you're hurt and I feel awful for causing it. I really am sorry and I really do lo-" His voice caught in his throat. How was he suppose to finish that. . ? It was very counterproductive to his statement if he went on about his feelings. It wouldn't help either of them, so Enasi thought. That familiar warmth in his cheeks came and he ran fingers through his red hair. "Um, well yeah. We both are fully aware of the feelings we share towards each other. . . But. . ."
It was a terrible way to end his ranting. But the words were lost and jumbled now. He didn't know what to do or say, and now was hoping Seishu would add his two cents before the silence stretched on any longer.