Alex

Quote wall

I have to ask yall to not purposefully generate long posts in the spam forum since it's wasteful on the server (has to process them all and store them). I need to make spam-forum-specific post size limits.

@Mahz

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Dead Girl will u b my grill

This just in! People are their avatars! What's the third dimension like!?

@Awson

I have a penis-related question but I have no idea how to phrase it.

<Snipped quote by Taaj> No, it's not a tuck. I use the trouser string to hang it. There's pretty much two factions with men: those that use the trouser string that comes in mens' pants to hang their penis ("hangers") and those that roll their penis into a ball and clench it between their legs ("coilers"). You cannot "tuck" a flaccid dick up into your waistband for the same reason you can't lean a rope against the wall. Sounds like your boy's not being honest with you. Must be a coiler.

@Mahz

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I don't like Sophi looking at Spam

when will they realize that i've been sophi's alt the whole time

There's some fun controversy stuff going on here

who conflates how people are on tumblr with how they are in reality.

@Doivid

excuse me tumblr is 101% representative of the human population also you triggered me put some warnings up you hum@n scum

New rule

there are you happy now?

New rule

no

Houses of Adea

RIP jon jacob jingleheimer dick

Memes!

"Oh look, the admin of this website personally closed my thread about memes? What am I going to do? Why, make a whole new thread about memes. I'm certain that's a wonderful idea, recreate a thread which was locked by the site's administration" -The Patriarch

The Catholic Caliphate - A spamAAR

The Catholic Caliphate - A spamAAR Timeline of events: 1111 A.D. Duchess Catherine of Burgundy funds a trade mission to exotic lands in hopes of a major payoff. 1112 A.D. The Duchess arrives in Cairo, and strikes a lucrative deal with the then-Shiite Caliph, Ali Smink 'the Holy'. The deal is great for both parties, and Ali and Catherine part as lifelong friends. They remain in correspondence. 1120 A.D. Catherin and Ali's correspondences take a religious turn. Though they are good friends in a secular sense, Catherine is a devout Catholic, and makes relentless efforts to convert Ali. Ali, on his part, is the head of the Shiite faith, head of an enourmous decadent family and the leader of one of the larger kingdoms in the muslim world. FOR WHATEVER REASON (I was playing as the duchess and tried to see what would happen if I chose the "try to convert friend" thing that popped up), Ali decides to abandon his faith and follow Catholicism.

1121 A.D. The Suuni Caliph declares a new age of Jihad in response to Ali's heresy. Most of the muslim takes up arms against Ali the Catholic Caliph - including nearly all of his vassals. 1223 A.D. Ali crushes the revolt and converts all of his vassals. Now he has to fight of the Jihad!

THE SMINK SULTANATE

Obviously inspired by Sultan Smink's great wisdom in fighting for christ against the muslim hordes, and for securing the stewardship of Jerusalem for Christ, both the Knights Templar and the Knight Hospitalier have sword alleigaince to the Sultan. With these devout, bloodthirsty, racist europeans under his command, Sultan Smink is able to rally his forces to attack the invading jihadists before they can organize all of their foces. The plan is simple: we bust up the suuni caliph's home (apparently he lives in some mosque in the middle of nowehere) This plan is brilliant; the Suuni Caliph is the leader of the Jihad. Capture him and they'll all give up! As Ali marches through the desert, 5,000 of his own men dying from attrition, he arrives at the Caliph's house only to find it empty, roughed up, with an "Under New Management" sign out front. Apprently someone kicked the Caliph out. Now neither the shia or the suuni have leaders. So much for jihad. So here's how this goes: I play Crusader Kings 2, a Grand Strategy Game by Paradox Interactive where you kill babies sleep with your daughters simulate the rise and fall of dynasties in medieval europe/west asia/india. I'll attach names from the guild to other characters, dynasties or organizations. For example, after Sultan Ali Fatamid converted to Christianity, I changed his dynasty from "Fatamid" to "Smink", after everybody's favorite guild member*. If you have one you'd like to claim, let me know! ( A list of possible things to claim (Not exhaustive): Powerful Realms of the World: The Byzantines The Turks [There are three: The Kingdom of Mesopotamia in the west, the Seljuk Sultanate in Iran, and the Ghaznavid Sultanate in Afghanistan/Venturing into India] The Holy Roman Empire, Hungary France Poland Some choices Inside the Smink Sultante: Either the Knights Hospitalier or the Knights Templar The Grand Emirs of Syria and Transjordan