Fieryfly said
@Nathan:
It seems you didn't quite understand my point before.
* above average chakra control.
* above average chakra reserve
,Is what your CS says right now. However what I tried to tell you before is that these two can never be equally high when you are a Genin. You can't have both at a high level, you have to choose one. If you want high chakra reserves that is fine, put that in and then set the chakra control to either normal or low and improve that during your training IC, thus that way gaining better chakra control as well as getting some nice experience under your belt.
The rest of the jutsu look fine to me though I would like a max range on Yukino ririisu: Yukino Haka (snow release: snow tomb).
Little Alice said
@Nathan
1. You said he has Suiton and later one has Snow KG. You need to fill in the Chakra natures also if there is an elemental KG. So please fix that.
2. I noticed in your last post that you do this as well : Not long after Takeshi birth the mercenary Aniru clan to dispatch of the Fujiwara for reasons unknown. The Fujiwara clan was completely annihilated but only Takeshi survived. The pregnant Mizuri Aniru could not bear to kill such a young and innocent child. As she was about to pick up the child, A last attempt of his biological mother to protect him caused the loss of Mizuri’s own child. Mourning over the unborn child did Mizure not and it made it easier to explain the young Takeshi she brought back with her.I advise (highly advise) not to just change history. Which Amekage was it? Did Fox agree with that ( he overviews and keeps Ame's history, like it stated in the thread he made)? Keep the actions away from personal characters etc. and else ask if they accepted that. It will be better or else people will be less inclined to work together with you, cause they don't want to be end up badly in that bad habit.
3. The traits are waay overpowered for a genin. I have no idea how much it has been said, but am growing steadily tired of it to explain it. Genins are the weakest rank. They can't have a very good chakra control, good chakra control at max. Next to that, they need to be better toned down, as they can't have large chakra reserves. So change that too. Also, high endurance on a genin is something I won't accept either together with a high stamina. That will make him just taken beats and keep on running etc. So no to that.
4. Fix your links to your jutsu. - Fuantei na ashiba (unstable footing)A jutsu that covers a battle area? That is C ranked. I think its pretty clear that its impressive that a genin alone can change a field to his advantage with a technique.-Koorino hana no jutsu (ice flower no jutsu)I see where you got this. I say B ranked, due the range and the effect of the jutsu. I would say that there are more weaknesses to the technique, as I can already figure several ways how to beat the technique, but will not indulge on that.5. Genins are only allowed to start with small summonings.Also, I would like to review your Cs's in the future if the links to the techniques are in English (as everybody uses that) and it is less of a pain to look them back up. Next to that, that is all for now.
Fieryfly said
@Nathan:First of all your KG is not a KG, it is a jutsu. Your KG should only state the basic power you have, which in this case is making snow and then Snow release: Avalanche would be in your jutsu list. Though I find that an extremely strong jutsu for a Genin so if you want to use it I suggest you tone it down for now.Kousetsu (snowfall): does this require constant chakra to keep it snowing? Either way I would rank it D, not E.I'm not okay with * very good chakra control. and * Large chakra reserve, The general rule is that you can't have both especially not as a Genin because it will mean that you burn to your Large chakra reserves very slowly.I would nag about the fact that we already had a Fujiwara clan in the RP, but since that guy left, its fine. Oh and your appearance isn't working for me, but that could also be me.