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    1. Amalvi 11 yrs ago

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If it is as powerful as you said it is, doing a 1hk on it would as well be considered uber cheapness/godmodding
"Okay, here is the plan..."

Komei was standing on the top of a building from which he was able to look down to the junkyard and the incredibly powerful wraith that had appeared just a few moments ago. While he could attempt to take on the wraith alone, the subsequent use of magic, not only during the fight but the following healing of wounds, would not be worth the grief cube. So for that reason he had assembled his team of advisors and experts to aid him in this matter, although for anyone witnessing the scene it would look like as he was talking alone and shouting to himself.

"...The kid will serve as a DUMBASS magnet..."

Toshi pointed the kid in question, another magical boy who was running through the streets in the direction of the junkyard.

"...he will weaken the wraith. Then I'll be coming from behind and I'll thrust my mighty blue fist. Any questions?"
"..."
"You know it was rethoric, I didn't have any intention of answering any question"
"..."
"He can actually keep the grief cube. It will be a good way to keep him in debt with me and I have a pair that I've yet to use."
"..."
"Because I'm obligated by the contract, idiot."

Just a few seconds later, the younger magical boy had arrived at the junkyard and about to initiate combat. Komei was resolute to just obserb and wait the scene, however for some reason he looked up to the ski, to the rain that was falling, and he started to scream as if he had got his arm cut. After this, he casted the magic of his soul gem and transformed into his magical form. He hastily put the biker helmet, which, imbued with magic, had adquired a blue color with golden ornaments, and jumped off the building. The junkyard was a bit far for his jump to reach, but making use of his ghosts to impulse himself in mid air coupled with the teleportation he reached his destination and made a crash landing right in front of the kid, unharmed thanks to the armor. He stood firmly and faced the kid with his arms crossed.

"Do you believe in miracles?"

He then turned to face the wraith and raised his fists

"I shall assist you in your trial"
is fine, just put up a post, IC has been ded for 5 days now
Sorry, you are right Pudding, I was being very inconsiderate with the whole group and I'll refrain from further blatant ranting
I apologize
I never said his combat style is OP, stop saying that

No, I don't get what you say. what is wrong with the basics is that they are boring and they have been seen countless of times, which denote laziness. A dark cynical edgy character is nothing new, and while a group composed of positive thinkers (which, if you took a moment to look at the IC, isn't the case here) can get stale a single dark n edgy character is a bore by itself, specially when it is not even well described because of the contradictions (does he really care about others or not? If he is a self matured character then why does he have so much angst?) Nobody likes emos in real life for a reason, one of them being how self centered they are in order to invoke other's sympathy.

He is constantly on the brink of despair
His fighting style makes him drain magic and enter despair astonishingly quickly
However, despite this two facts, he never falls into despair
That must be a huge brink

Saying that the fighting style is self destructive is preposterous because it shows to have no real consequences. You can make a character drink a barrel of arsenic, but if you say that it is not enough to kill it then he was never in a real threat
The "Internal" feelings in storytelling are nonexistent. A character that is said to be one thing but never acts like it might as well not be it. Rogue taurens exist, they just hide really really well. This is why it is important to show, not tell.
I don't understand why you bring tokyo or the turf wars

>Not trusting others is a disadvantage in this rp
No
why?
are you really serious when you say that trusting my character is a good idea?
all the megukas trusted kyubey, look how well they ended
Also, being distrustful is not a mental disability transcendental to the character but a choice that he has made by himself.

So your character never fights?
He is always in the brink of despair, and he will die if he fights in this state you say. I don't see any auto balance

P.D: you are right about the combat, it isn't actually what bothered me
By the way Pizza, because interests checks are easy to miss on the subscription page, would you mind sending a PM if you start an IC?
The cutlasses are not imaginative because they are the same as sayaka

I don't understand why do you think being original is bad

If you focus on the personality and you yourself admit to have come with a bleak personality then you yourself got your answer

I'm aware you never stated any of those things, that's what I'm complaining about. That selective amnesia

Never said your character must be flawless and happy who needs no help. However it doesn't fit the universe of this rp because any character in the brink of despair is dead

You are contradicting yourself, his self destructive combat is not a flaw but an advantage if it leads to him being a fighting beast. Magis cannot starve to dead because the body is just a vessel that does not need to be taken care of, any hunger, pain or anything can be cured with magic, even a cut arm. A suffering way of life is a given to any magi, not a single flaw for just one. You yourself said that he prefers to remain outside social circles, so socially awkwardness is not a flaw because he does not care about others. Being distrustful is not a weakness because trustful people end up dead and thus being skeptic is a valuable trait for survival in a crapsack world, not to mention how charming and clever skeptical people seem. Ergo, I refrain that they are no real flaws

I never said that you should make the powers weaker, just make them interesting to see in action.

P.D: just like Derpestein said, I'm glad you are taking this well
Kissshot said
Accepted, GreenGoat and Amalvi.As a note, it's likely Max wouldn't have left on the greatest of terms (aside from close friends who understand he's just that sort of man), as not many admit the world is actually endangered...yet.


Nice. For how many people are we waiting to start?
I actually do not like your character
First is the weapon of choice, the cutlass seems really uninspired and the fact that his fighting style "is more effective against other magi than against wraiths" is astonishingly illogical since, as a magic boy, you are supposed to kill wraiths, not other magi. The magic seems boring and generic, not to mention completely unrelated to his wish and personality.

Second is the back story, which wasn't even supposed to be there. A bit of drama is okay, but you are clearly forcing it to ridicule levels and he was supposed to be freaking less than 11 when all of this misfortune happened to him, all in all not explaining actual important things like how come he wasn't in an orphanage (Tokyo is not precisely a third world village) or how did he even get into a school or education. He has been fighting since he was 11, when did he have time to go to school? Of course, he didn't go to school, but then he acts magnificent and highly as a cynical. Who took care of him? Alone his whole life? How about when he was a baby? It doesn't make sense. The time he killed his friend clearly was a despair horizon and he should have transformed into a wraith there.

The personality, which wan't needed either because you are better showing than telling, is constantly shouting at me "why". Everything indicates that Souta is already in complete despair. What kind of hope a person like that has? He has no friends, suffers horribly emotionally. It is contradictory that he is unable to trust or believe anything and then you say that cares about others. He acts like the toughest guy in the world and we are supposed to believe that because of the back story when is only 15 years old. A 15 years old teenager has been fighting to dead four years, hates the world, lives in constant anger and is completely alone. That screams despair to me

Overall, I thinks this is very badly written. A character that was thrown as many bad things as possible regardless of how impossible they are in order to excuse a cringe worthy personality spawned as a dark mary sue that has no real weakness (being distrustful, having angst and being edgy with a dark troublesome past are not weak points) coupled with vague abilities that are specifically described to be in advantage against the rest of the players ("best at fighting other magi") makes me think that you need to reconsider

however, I'm not the one that ultimately chooses, but still I'm telling this so that you improve
-Name: Maximilliam Kiriakov
-Age: 54
-Gender: male

-Occupation: vice chairman of the Sledkom (Known as the Russian FBI)

-Appearance: Maximilliam stands around 1.80 meters and has an athletic complexion. His shaved face still holds a glimpse of the attractiveness of his youth, but has been eroded with wrinkles with the pass of the years. His dark brown eyes and his former black hair (now white) makes him stand out from the stereotypical blonde slavic and portraying more Germanic traits. While Kiriakov is a very strong man for his age, he is not as good as it used to be and although he is capable of enduring intense exercise, he struggles with keeping up during long periods of time

-Personality: Absolutely lawful, Max's devotion with the communist party previous to the fall of the wall made him into a person who values integrity, sacrifice, stoicism and tenacity the most. He usually displays a calmed and educated attitude and prefers to never speak more than what is necessary, however, everyone who knows Kiriakov in person knows about his violent outburst of anger, which inspire fear to anyone witnessing.

-Abilities: Because of his experience in the army he is instructed in unarmed combat as well as the use of a vast array of weapons and vehicles

-Magic: Maximilliam's powers revolve around the alteration of gravity. Initially the use of this power is to either increase the gravitational effect to pin down objects or to completely nullify it or decrease it to be able to make things float. Eventually he becomes capable of re-arranging gravity so that anything within that area falls towards any designated direction, which also serves to walk on walls and ceilings. Because gravity is not only the attraction of the earth, but a force interacting between any two objects, the possibilities can end up endless if these forces were to be controlled, but it will take a while for Kiriakov to develop such power.

-Bio:


Kiriakov's power awakening was an issue kept secret within the organization at first. However, the jeopardy of the world seemed much of a threat than the security of a single country and Kiriakov had to quit. Every information regarding him or his career was erased and now he has left on a journey to fulfill his duty.

Extra: Kiriakov have never had any romantic relationship in his life. His favorite pastime is reading non-fiction while drinking tonic and gin
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