arockysmith

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra's eyes went wide a moment and he found himself blushing. She'd said the words he'd been thinking. He nodded slightly feeling a little satisfied. He looked around the room a moment. He could hear a faint snoring and assumed his parents had managed to fall asleep. He turned his attention back to her and nodded once more. He wasn't sure what to say to follow that up. She wanted something from him in the way he wanted it from her. Both clinging onto the idea that maybe if they cared for the other more then all the pain...all his pain would somehow vanish.

That wouldn't happen though. He reached up and gripped the pendant on his necklace. As long as he was Jewish she would never be able to love a man like him, and he could never love a girl of her religion. If they were destined for more then it was to be friends until their true partners came along, if that ever happened. You could love many people, but you could never love them in the same way.

"Perhaps you are my Juliet, my downfall. Or maybe you're destined to be my first love, my true love, but not my only love. Either way I would die a happy man to know I held your heart even if just for a moment," Ezra said after a moment of silence.

He had no doubt that his way with words would captivate the girl. He'd always wanted to be a poet or some kind of writer when he finished high school, but with everything going on he'd never get the chance. If his words had to fall on the ears of anyone else he was glad it was her. She seemed to hold onto everything he said like it might be his final breath. Her hands found his wounds so easily and he rested his chest against them. His heart would no longer be protected by hate, but instead it'd be more at a risk for pain. If they exterminated his people like roaches his mind would go to her, but she would have no way of knowing he was dead. That thought alone hurt him the most. She'd think he abandoned her, but what if she decided she'd gotten herself in too deep and loving him was nothing more than waste of time. He'd probably fall victim to his own blade like Shakespears Romeo.

"Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate. Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer’s lease hath all too short a date. Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimmed; But thy eternal summer shall not fade, Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st, Nor shall death brag thou wand’rest in his shade, When in eternal lines to Time thou grow’st. So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see, So long lives this, and this gives life to thee. Shall I compare thee to a summers day?" He began to quote Shakespear himself.

It was the poem he memorized when he was just a child. The one that he'd never said aloud to anybody unless he was joking with his mates or trying to impress a girl in church. He'd never understand the true meaning of them until today, and he never really understand how one person, Romeo, could love a girl he'd just met after being in love with another, Rosaline. While Ezra hand't loved anybody before, he had quickly come to realize that maybe love at first sight...or first breakdown could be true after all. What would he know though? This was the first time he'd ever dropped his guard.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra let out a small chuckle and forced his eyes up. He reached his hand towards her face and forced her to look at him. He leaned in toward her and kissed her softly on the lips. His hand gently cupped her chin tilting it up towards him. Her lips were soft compared his, chapped to the core. He pulled away and let his hand drop to her lap while he regained his composure.

"You know Romeo and Juliet only takes place in the span of a week. They loved with a love brighter than the stars and in the span of 6 days because of their love many people died, and their families suffered," he mentioned as he turned himself so he his body was now facing her, "They were young and their families despised each other, the way people of your religion do mine and vice versa. People tried to keep them apart and lives were lost, but they still loved one another. I guess we're one step in that direction. I don't think you'll ever love me, Marta, but if I get to love you before I die then my life wouldn't be wasted."

His voice was relaxed and he spoke slowly like he was trying to figure his own thoughts out before speaking them to her. With the way things were going in Germany he didn't expect to live long. He gave himself a couple more years before he either took his own life or someone took it or him, but he wasn't going to stop living just because he'd already decided that he would die. He would experience everything at once so when the time came he could know he lived it fully.

Marta was naive enough to keep herself in his path, and after the events of today he could see himself falling in love with her the way his parents eventually learned to, but it would be different than their love. This was one he would want, but could never have. She was probably already set to marry some rich guy related her fathers closest friend. Everything was about image for the rich and to have a daughter stray from their path would never happen. So he would love her from afar. He would steal a kiss if she gave him permission and he would hold her hand when they were in private. He would keep her close to him when she was around and he would know what it meant to love someone that you could never have. He would understand Romeo better.

He smiled at her taking in everything he could so in case she never returned he could have her in his mind. If there was ever a rainy day all he would need to do is close his eyes and she would appear like a ghost in the night. It was the only thing he had to hold onto, but he wouldn't say any of that. He would keep it to himself until his dying breath.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

"I've had time to think...Marta," saying her name felt odd, "maybe you don't need to avoid the bakery completely." Ezra pulled himself onto the couch next to her and began to play with her fingers. He felt more relaxed inside the comfort of his own home. Nobody to see them or judge him for his actions. He could sit as close or as far away as he wanted to and he could hold her hand for comfort. He hadn't felt safe for a couple days now. Every small sound made him jump, and he felt like he was always being followed by something or someone. Every corner scared him. He wasn't sure if they people who hurt him before would come back finish the job. But with her, he felt calm. During his breakdown it was her that she wanted to hold him and even when his parents came home it was her he wanted to stay by his side.

"Marta. A pretty name, but I wouldn't expect anything less. At least I have name for the face...I didn't get to introduce myself though. My parents are Abe and Edith, I can't remember if they told you. My mom won't let you walk home. It's already so late you're better calling a car or my dad will walk with you. I can't...I can't go out after it gets dark," Ezra said to her eyes focused on their hands instead of her face.

He found it difficult to look at her for long periods of time. She had watched him cry and that was a weakness. She would never see him as anything more now. He took his hand from hers and frowned a moment debating whether or not he wanted to take it back. He scooted a little closer to her so that he could feel the heat from her body. He could be close without being pushy, and if she didn't want him there she would let him know. He thought back to earlier and the guilt of having her made her cry washed over him. He was so quick to judge, and yet she was so fast to protect him when he needed someone. He didn't blame her for what happened. It wasn't her fault that his home was turning into dangerous territory without anybody batting an eye. She was just a girl and he was just a boy. Changing the world wasn't their problem.

Then it hit him. She wasn't just a girl. She was Marta, and she had risked coming back down his street. He had risked himself to lead her to safety. She was more than just a girl.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra came out of the room in a pair of soft pants and a shirt that was too big for his frame. He peeked inside the bathroom a moment and then walked to the living room, bare feet slapping against the wooden floor. His parents had decided to stay in their room for a bit to discuss what he'd told them. She was a girl in the bakery, he'd been rude so he went to apologize and tried to walk her home. They strayed a little too far and he had a panic attack. His mother protested a little knowing that girl was more than meets the eye, but not wanting to upset him even more she let the issue drop.

He spotted her on the sofa in his mothers old dress and smiled a moment before walking over to the sofa and sitting on the floor in front of her. He let his chin rest on her knee and looked up at her. "I guess I should thank you for bringing me back home. I'm sorry, miss," he said as he felt the ghost of her hands running through his hair still. The curls on his head were matted to his face from the little bath. "My parents said you could use the phone in the kitchen if you need to call somebody. The only thing is you have to stand close to the counter, the cord isn't very long. I'm sorry for pushing this onto you. I didn't mean for that to happen. I thought I could get over it, but I guess I can't."

He let out a small breath and and pushed himself away from her so that he was leaning back slightly. He studied her a moment trying to figure out if she was okay. The rain hit against the windows giving them a little bit of a background noise as he waited for her response. The minutes seemed to drag, but he couldn't sense any disgust from her features. This was probably the first time he'd ever brought a girl home and of course it would be because he panicked. He'd made sure to leave out the part of their kiss when he recalled the events to his mom and dad, if they knew they'd be even more scared for his life. Such a display in public in front of their neighbors would have brought some shame to his character. He'd be the black sheep on the block and working in the bakery would prove difficult if his face was there. The girl his parents had hoped he'd marry would probably be taken off the table and he'd be a disappointment, but he didn't really care too much.

He wasn't sure what it was about this girl, but he hoped she'd ignore his previous words and go to their bakery again. Maybe he'd see her in passing if he went out of his comfort zone. He wondered if maybe she could be the thing that kept him from losing faith in the people of his country. Maybe they all weren't like Hitler. Maybe she could turn into more. She'd seen him at his worst and even though he was still vulnerable he wanted her touch. He lifted her hand and held it firmly lacing their fingers together a moment. He wanted to show her that he was grateful she came into that bakery today.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

"Ezra! How many times have I told you not to leave the bakery without one of us!" His mom called from the bottom of the steps. A low grunt escaped his fathers lips as his feet marched up the stairs. "Ezra! At least answer when I --" she was cut off when she bumped into the back of his father at the top of the step. "Oh Abe, move out of the...way" her words came out breathy when she saw her son laying on top of the girl. Her mother instincts kicked into high gear and she pushed by her husband to her child. "Ezra! What happened?! Did someone hurt him?" she asked the girl frantically, but not waiting for any response.

"Mom..." Ezra whispered reaching a hand out, which she grabbed roughly. "Mom...it's not safe. I'm not safe," he continued as he turned his head and buried into the girls lap. You could hear a small sob coming from him as his shoulders shook.

His dad let out another grunt, "Poor girl's scared because of him. Look at em. Soaking wet. She needs a change of clothes Edith. Go take this girl to bathe. I'll take care of him," he said sternly as he ran a hand over his beard.

Ezra looked more like his mother. They had the same curly brown hair and blue eyes. Hers were a little rounder, but that was the only difference. His features just as soft as hers, but when he was angry his face was that of his fathers. The two of them had the same jaw line and their mouths mimicked each other. He was a perfect split of each of them, getting the best features from both.

He could feel strong arms pulling him up and the girl was no longer in his grasp as his mother hurried her to the bathroom. He couldn't even call for her since her name wasn't in her vocabulary. He could hear his father speaking but the words didn't make sense in his head. A gentle pat on the face and a slight bit of shaking and he finally came into focus to the world around him.

"There you are, son. You had your poor mother scared," Abe said with a small smile.

Ezra looked around and nodded, "I...I left the bakery. She...the girl...she was alone. I had to take her home. She was alone," he said wiping his face of the tears that had dried. He could hear his mother fussing with the girl in the bathroom trying to convince her to undress and get in the bath before she caught a cold.

"Who's the girl, son? Is she a friend?" Abe asked knowing all too well that the strangers clothes were too high class to be anyone from here. Maybe his son had met her at school on his way there or back. Maybe she had been a customer. He wasn't sure. He just prayed that she would keep his sons distress a secret from those who would do him harm.

"I dont know her name," Ezra said after a moment. His father nodded and led him to the bedroom to undress. He needed to shower in something warm as well. His father grabbed a large basket from the closet, big enough to fit a person and went to boil water, while Ezra undressed. Their bathtub would only have enough hot water for two showers so his father and him would bathe in this. When his dad came back Ezra was sitting with his legs pulled up to his chest. His dad poured the water over top of him and began to bathe his son gently.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra allowed her to drag him along as he forced his eyes open. He felt like everyone was staring at him, like they knew he was Jewish and didn't belong. He grew scared that they would follow them when she shoved him into the cab. His leg began to shake and he could feel the cab driver looking back at him wondering what was wrong. Did he know? Would he listen and take them back to his store? Marta dragged him from the car to his front door and he stood there confused at her words. Key. He needed to find his keys. He began to pat himself down until he felt a bulge in his pocket.

"I...I..." he couldn't get the sentence out his voice was shaking.

He hadn't realized how traumatized he was from the attack until this moment when he felt like the air was no longer in his lungs. He couldn't suck enough of it in. He passed her the keys and grabbed her hand in the process scared to let it go. "Not safe," he said to her, his eyes wild. "They'll kill me...they'll see you and they'll say I hurt you," he said finding his words once more. He grabbed her hand tighter digging the keys into both of their palms. His mind was scattered and nothing was making sense. He was back home, why was he scared still? Why did she stay with him? He finally released her hand, but he kept his on on her wrist.

The feeling of her skin reminding him that he wasn't dreaming right now. This wasn't one of his terrors. This was real life and he was failing at it. He glanced around at the people and caught a couple stares from older women. Some of them looked concerned others wondered why this girl was with him. He was sure they'd ask his parents about it, but they wouldn't come up to them. Not when he looked like someone punched him in the gut. He could hear the keys in the lock as she opened the door for both of them.

He felt himself moving closer to her body. His front pressed against her back as his arms found their way around her stomach. He was scared to let her go, that if he did she'd disappear and he'd be alone again on the side walk bleeding out. He could hear the chants of Hitler still in his head from earlier. He'd never seen so many slurs on one piece of paper. That was who he was now. He wasn't a person to most of these people anymore. He was just the problem that would soon be eradicated.

The made it up the stairs to a small home with one bedroom. The living room was tiny and on the floor were a couple blankets and pillows from where he'd slept the previous night. He pushed her gently toward the sofa and forced her to sit with him. He wasn't sure why he needed her comfort, but he refused to let her go. Ezra curled his legs in close and laid with his head resting in this strangers lap while he shook, partially from the cold and partially from the fear.

"Don't go. Don't leave me, please," he begged quietly.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

He bit his lip hard enough to draw blood and bring him back to reality. The arm he placed on her body dropped to his head and his head fell forward leaning against hers a moment before he pulled away. He took a couple breaths and noticed her shivering. He had to get her home or she'd get sick and the last thing he needed was for a family like hers finding out he had kept their daughter in the rain over a kiss that would never be anything more than that. He gently nudged her so that she was facing the way she came and began to take long strides out of his neighborhood. He could hear the tapping of her shoes behind him as he did his best to avoid looking back at her.

"All I have to do is get her back to her own people. Somewhere she's familiar with and then I can go back home. I can pretend this was all a dream," he said to himself his pace quickened.

He had to get back to his parents. To the bakery to make that delivery for the old lady. She'd need the bread, and she wouldn't go get it herself. She was too frail and fearful to leave her home. His eyes stayed focused on the floor. The rain began to soak into his clothes sending a small shiver down his spine as he finally looked up.

"I...I don't know where to take you," he said when he finally stopped walking and put his attention back to her, "Why would you kiss me? I don't even know where you live and yet you took my first kiss. I don't even know your name, but you've got me out here worrying about your life over mine."

He was getting frustrated. His emotions couldn't decide on what was more important. Part of him wanted to kiss her again. To have his arm around her waist and to let her know he was grateful for their encounter. Another part of him was angry with her. Furious that she thought she had the right to put her lips to his. Like it was no big deal, which for her wasn't. She would go home and be okay. He would turn back around alone and the eyes would follow him home. Whispers would happen on the streets and he'd end up back in the hospital by next week. The other part of him was scared. Scared he'd never see her again. That she was just words and no actions. He would let her in and she would leave him high and dry with nothing but memories of what might have been had he been anyone else but himself.

They were out of his street by then and he could see the propaganda on the walls. Flyers hung around them, blaming the Jewish community for everything. People hailing Hitler with their friends and laughing. Making jokes about his religion and calling them scum. He became very aware of the fact that his legs felt heavy and he wasn't sure he'd be able to run if he had to. He wouldn't be able to protect her if something happened and she tried to play hero. His breathing became loud and he felt like the world was spinning. He could hear the voice in the back of his mind from the memory laughing. Taunting. Everything was taunting him. He held his stomach with one hand and his other hand moved the swastika carved into his chest.

"It's not safe...it's not safe," he repeated the mantra in a low voice. He looked like a lost child searching for his mother. His eyes were wide and with each breath his voice seemed to lose itself. "I'm not safe...I'm not safe..."

His mother's warning played itself on repeat in his brain "Ezra, no going out alone. You stay in the shop or you walk with a group to school. You wait for us to go home. Ezra, no going out alone. You stay in the shop or you walk with a group to school. You wait for us to go home. Ezra, no going out alone. You stay in the shop or you walk with a group to school. You wait for us to go home." He'd really hear from her and his father would just grunt and pretend he wasn't thanking the lord that his son was brought home safe and sound.

"I'm not safe...I'm not safe..." Ezra's hands had made it to his ears and he closed his eyes wanting any form of comfort or any sign of safety. He was out of his element. He was alone. She was there physically, but in his mind he was by himself and he could already see his demise. He wanted for her to reach out to him, but at the same time prayed that she wouldn't touch him. That she would keep walking and never look back.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra stood there staring at her in shock. He tried to process what had just happened, but he wasn't sure he even knew. He could feel the warmth of her hand still on his chest and his cheeks burned red, but he wasn't sure if it was from irritation or the fact that she had just given him his first kiss. He was seventeen, but he'd never had a girlfriend. There was never time to even think about it. His parents had made sure they'd be the ones to dictate whoever it was he married in the same that their parents did. He hadn't realized his arm was around her waist until he went to look down at his feet.

"Why?" was the only word he could seem to get out at first. Did she not hear him before? Was she trying to torture him? Was this her way to hurt him? She was physically weaker than him so maybe this was how girls like her did things. Then used their fist, while the girls used their lips. His face changed a little to show the anger, an then went back to the confused lost child look. "Why did you?" words began to form, but he still couldn't figure out how to react. "Why do you want me to suffer?"

His words felt like poison. Why do you want me to suffer? The words echoed in his head and he wanted to take them back, but that was the thing about words. No matter how much you regret them once their said the damage is done. He gently grabbed her arm doing his best to keep his composure but knowing he was failing. If his parents could see him now they'd yank him away and force him to leave without looking back. This girl was playing with fire and she was going to burn herself. He forced his eyes to meet hers and he felt like he could see inside her soul, to the core of her being.

She wasn't being malicious, the way he felt towards the kiss was not what she had wanted from him. She wanted him to know something, but all he could think about was the little bit of eyes watching them. The news of the kiss would reach is parents. The women on this street had big mouths and his family was the best bakery, word would get back to them. He could feel his fathers disappointed gaze and the way his mother would look at him in fear. If news got out about this to the wrong people he was putting his life on the line and that was something she didn't seem to grasp.

He took a step towards her. It was small and timid. His body tensed and before he could stop himself his hand was running through her blonde locks and he was leaning towards her. "Why do you want to me to think about you when it could very well be my downfall. You're a naive girl. Kissing a stranger the way you did. Pushing yourself into me through just your lips. Why do you want me to suffer? Every time I close my eyes I'll see you and I'll feel those lips," his thumb gently traced her mouth, "I'll feel your hair in my hand and I'll be left wondering why I met you at a time like this, and you'll be sitting in your bedroom on your comfortable bed wondering why I'm being so cold towards you. If your smart you'll never come to that bakery, my bakery, and you'll never think about me again. But I don't think you're that smart."

His eyes darted around her face trying to see how she was taking his words. He was still a teenager and when someone gives you the smallest bit of affection after being through so much pain you can't help but love them in an instant. He started to wish he would die right there so he wouldn't have to suffer, so she wouldn't have to see the world crumble at her feet. If she stuck around long enough and if Hitler kept speaking then she would slowly see his decline into nothing but madness as he held onto her memory, this memory.

arockysmith x SinfulSkills <<Kento & Jun>>

Jun was laying on the floor staring at the ceiling wondering if she should bother going into school. She'd gotten home a little late last night, and the house had no hot water. She dreaded the days of showering in the freezing cold, but what else did she expect. Her father was gone, so she had free reign. She had called last night to cancel all her shifts while her dad was away. She would use the free time to clean the home and get everything in order. She thought that maybe if she cleaned her mom would come and see she wasn't such a burden. She sat up slowly when her phone buzzed beside her. She picked it up and a smile spread across her face. Jun didn't think he'd actually text her or even associate with her after yesterday. She figured he'd think she was just wasting time and forget about the time they'd spent together.

Her fingers typed up a reply, and then quickly deleted it. She wanted to be careful not to scare him away. With pursed lips she finally figured out a reply. I hope you slept well, Kenton. Can't wait to see you at school. Send.

She put the phone down and let out a small sigh. She would shower in the cold, and she would get herself together. She had to. She finally had a person in her life who talked to her. This was the first time a friend had ever texted her about something other than homework. She quickly stood up and made her way to the bathroom. She'd get through this day with just few hours of restless sleep if it meant talking to him again. He made her feel slightly normal, which was ironic since most people thought he was rather odd.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra tilted his head a little to the side. She was being nice to him, but as much as he wanted to keep holding her hands he pulled them away. If anyone saw her she'd be labeled a sympathizer. He shrugged a little. She was worrying about him for reason other than possibly guilt. He found it impossible to believe there could be someone out of his faith in a time like this that would ever give two shits about him. He flashed her a small smile to show his appreciation before standing up and pulling her with him. The streets had begun to clear when the air started to smell like rain and the light outside began to disappear. He glanced up at the sky and he started to regret not bringing a jacket or something that could shield them from the rain.

"I didn't let you feel my skin so you would feel sorry for me. I did it so you would understand. You don't understand...you don't understand anything," he said sadly, "you live in those big houses encased inside a bubble of the rich. Protected because you're part of the system, not part of the problem. You get to go home and forget I exist and pretty soon I might not, but I get to go home and remember your kindness. I get stuck with the idea that maybe they're not all bad, and I get that small bit of hope that maybe this country won't listen to him. I'll get beaten again and you'll be in my mind, where you have no right to be. But you won't have thought of me once."

His words were soft, full of defeat as he stood there. A few drops of rain seemed to fall when his voice stopped. The curls in his hair bounced a little and he looked up wondering if he'd ever get to feel the rain when he was older. Would he live long enough to teach his own kids that looking up at the rain could bring a sense of calmness and security. He lost himself for a moment as he tried to think of the future he so desperately wanted, but all he saw was her face behind his eyes. Her eyes holding the guilt of something she had no control over. She seemed to hang onto every word he said and it pained him to break down the barrier her parents seemed to build around her. He saw her crying...crying because of him. In his mind he reached out a hand and wiped away a tear the way she had done for him.

"I should start getting you home. Lead the way, miss," Ezra said not knowing what else to call this girl, but even if he did know her name he would never speak it. To speak a name meant friendship and he would not allow himself to get close to someone that could be his undoing. He looked back to her and started to reach out his hand so she could guide him, but then he let his arm drop. She wasn't another girl from down the street. He had no right to touch her. She was part of the elite.