Assistance
Quaint, private, informative. Libraries should have been one of Ben’s favorite places were it not for how utterly boring he found studying. Aesthetically they were pleasing and had atmospheres of introspection and knowledge, two things he sincerely hoped would help. In truth he did wish the knowledge here would help him and perhaps it was his own sense of pride that held him back. However, he needed a fresh perspective, one that would hopefully give him insight to the enigma that was Lilie Dionne.
Their talk went poorly and that was an understatement. He had no choice but to call for help. To ask for such a thing to be kept under wraps meant he needed someone that was both familiar with magehood and could communicate to him how to properly address that with his own mage. And so he waited in what he thought was a private table in a part of the library that did not draw too many people. He hoped Aaron would arrive sooner than later as his own nerves were giving him a myriad of different ways he could handle Lilie going forward.
Aaron pushed into the library a few minutes late, a harsh, snowy wind trailing him inside as he looked around to catch his bearings. The Count had asked to meet him in a part of the library he didn’t usually visit, so it took him a moment to find his way through the labyrinth of shelves, not helped by the fact he was reluctant to ask anyone for help—the last thing he wanted was anyone remembering him coming here. He really shouldn’t even have come—Varis would have his head if he found out he was doing rival nobles favours—but the Count had never asked for anything more than friendly conversation in the past, and with mention of a “delicate situation”, Aaron could guess what said conversation would be about.
At long last he got where he was going, a small study area near the back of the library that students often overlooked. Aaron made sure no one was looking before slipping inside, and sure enough, there was Count Benjamin, looking characteristically pensive.
“Good evening, Count,” Aaron murmured as he neared, offering a shallow bow before taking a seat. It was a little more casual than he’d usually like with nobles, but Count Benjamin had made it pretty clear in the past that he’d prefer to keep the formality to a minimum.
“Pardon my lateness, I had a few things to attend to for my master before I could make my way over.” It was probably unnecessary, but he hoped the Count would pick up on the hint: Aaron didn’t personally mind helping him out, but it wasn’t something he could safely make a habit of.
“My sincerest apologies for taking any of your time, I would have preferred to resolve this on my own,” Ben said. It wouldn’t do for any vampire to pick up a habit of asking a mage that wasn’t of his house for anything and he could understand what Aaron was getting at.
“I can assure you I would have rather asked for your time for something more jovial. I thank you for coming.”“To avoid wasting your time, I will be direct. I have not dedicated myself to training my mage as much as I should have. There aren’t any reasons that don’t sound like excuses as the truth of the matter is I greatly overestimated her capacity for adapting to change. It’s apt to describe it as Lilie drowning. The irony is not lost on me,” Ben said.
“The crux came the other day; as I am sure you are aware, any schedules that go against the norm required approval. Lilie’s request was denied and it led to a conversation that ended poorly.”Poorly was an understatement truth be told.
Aaron couldn’t claim to be surprised; by what both parties in the Eve partnership had told him, they tended to butt heads over the subject of Lilie’s transition to mage life. He’d done his best to counsel them both—Lilie on the sad reality that things were different in vampiric society than she was used to, and the Count on how he might accomplish his goals with a gentle hand—but he was hardly an expert. In fact, he could only hope his advice hadn’t been the cause of any issues between them.
Similarly, that Lilie’s intended course load was a point of contention between the two came as no surprise either. Aaron had tried his best to be encouraging, but the combination of classes she wanted to take rivaled his own schedule in intensity; it wasn’t far-fetched to think the Princess thought it might be a little much, or that her Count would want her to pace herself. Aaron partially blamed himself for letting it get that far—he should have been firmer when he hinted that her plan was pretty taxing—but to be fair, it wasn’t his job to police what Lilie did with her time. It was Benjamin’s.
He nodded slowly when the Count finished, taking a moment to unwind his scarf from around his throat and drape it on the chair next to him before he replied.
“Would I be right to guess that that decision didn’t fall solely to Her Highness?” he asked.
If the situation was so transparent that Aaron could already guess then Ben felt he had little in the ways of keeping the conversation vague. Being direct truly was the best course of action, he decided that he would speak plainly going forward.
“While it was a mutual agreement you are correct,” Ben said.
“I can assure you, however, that I did nothing to sabotage Lilie’s chances outside expressing my own concerns. She is convinced otherwise. It seems anytime we make one or two steps of progress we lose five going backwards.”And if he was to be direct, he also needed to be honest.
“I don’t believe Lilie understands that while her enthusiasm and eagerness for magic are admirable, her priorities aren’t where they need to be,” He said.
“I do fear that I was too harsh with our last conversation. I thought it best to bring her down and make things clear. It resulted in tears and we haven’t held a conversation since.” Aaron raised his eyebrows. Tears? Lilie wasn’t the pinnacle of emotional fortitude, and she’d cried to him about her issues with her Count in the past, but it was somehow a shock to hear she’d break down in front of a vampire. Maybe it was his upbringing making it seem strange; he came from a world where you hid everything away until you could let it out behind closed doors. But Lilie came from a different world entirely, and, well, that was really the problem.
“I see…” He twined his fingers together on the table, spinning his ring for a moment in thought.
“Do you know what specifically got her so upset?” he asked,
“Or was it the issue of having her plans denied in general?”The risk of losing Aaron’s positive opinion of him nearly caused Ben to hesitate. He wondered for a moment if his honesty was going to end up making things worse for him but he supposed there wasn’t much he could do without coming completely clean. He couldn’t very well hide what he did if Lilie did decide to tell him, after all.
“As much as it pains me to admit, I was the cause,” Ben said.
“We spoke of her intentions for dueling and her desire for magic. It all came to a point when she mentioned that she had been fencing for years to which my response was to point out that even with that behind her, she still lost her first duel here. After that, she asked if I thought she was weak. I said yes.”Oh yeah, that wasn’t great. Aaron visibly cringed at the admission, although he was glad the Count opted for honesty; this would be a lot harder if Count Benjamin tried to sugar-coat the situation. He could certainly see why that would have upset Lilie, but he had a feeling it wasn’t the comment alone, but a lot of previous buildup, that led to such a dramatic fallout.
“I see,” he repeated, searching for the right way to put his thoughts without coming off like he was scolding a noble.
“Well, for starters, I wouldn’t hold that duel against her; truth be told, it wasn’t a fair fight,” he admitted.
“She trained in fencing as a hobby—a dedicated hobby, mind you, but still—whereas my training has been considerably more intense. Add in a significant difference in size and strength and it would have taken a miracle for her to have won that night.” He sighed, starting to feel a bit like one of those tired couple’s counselors on sitcoms.
“That said, I can see why you’d disapprove of her proposed class schedule,” he continued.
“For reference, I’m joining one of the most demanding major programs this school has to offer, and her schedule would have resembled mine in intensity. My counselor described it as spending six straight hours in the gym with minimal breaks—it would have been a considerable drain on her, and while I’m on the fence over whether she could handle it, it would make anything extracurricular impossible. I’m taken to assume the two of you are still working on mage etiquette together?”Everything Aaron said made sense and Ben was relieved to know that the core of his message was still in the right. He wouldn’t say it, but he was well aware one of the reasons Lilie wanted to do her schedule the way she had chosen was because Aaron was also doing so. The difference between the two was a gap so wide it was concerning why she would make any attempts at following his lead.
“One of her slots will be taken with an Introduction to Showmageship. We no longer need to take time out after classes with that, fortunately,” Ben said.
“While I have no issue teaching her myself, I felt she would take it more seriously in a classroom setting. Her grades alone show that she takes her studies to heart.”Aaron couldn’t help but smirk, despite the somber tone of the conversation.
“I’m sure she wasn’t a fan of that idea either.” “She was not. She claimed she had no such interest in the subject,” Ben said.
“She is under the belief her desires trump mine.”Aaron nodded. That was a pretty critical misunderstanding that he’d tried to help straighten out when Lilie came to him before, upset that Count Benjamin had replaced her belongings. Apparently, his reasoning didn’t stick.
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” he said absently. But what more advice could he offer? Count Benjamin had the right of it: his word was final, that was how this all worked. Of course Aaron felt for Lilie, he could only imagine how hard it must be for her to have many of her freedoms taken away, but what could he do? Lying to her would only make the eventual fall of the hammer hurt even more.
“I can sympathize with your difficulties in dealing with Lilie,” he voiced as much, spinning his ring.
“And as much as I’d like to tell you she needs a soft hand, I agree that it’s better for her to learn her place sooner rather than later.”He studied the table for a moment, trying his best to put his words in the right order.
“Still, I can see why this is hard for her. She’ll never be comparable to a mage raised around vampires: she lived her whole life in almost total freedom. She had dreams and plans for her future, one where her life would be her own making. With all due respect, Count, it may seem trivial to you, but we mortals hold those plans very close to our hearts.” He didn’t want to lecture a Count, but he wanted to make sure Benjamin had a full understanding of what he was dealing with—or at least, as full an understanding as Aaron had.
“Obviously I can’t relate to transitioning from human life to magehood, but I do know that having what you thought was your future taken away can be devastating. I’m not surprised she doesn’t want to give up whatever control she was used to before.” Aaron sighed, leaning back in his chair. This was getting a little too personal for comfort—maybe he should have just stuck to the tried and true ‘don’t worry Count, you’re totally right, Lilie’s difficult is all’, but it was a little late for that. Still, there was something to be said for Benjamin’s side of the situation too, and the fact that he cared enough for his mage to ask advice on dealing with her in the first place was something rare among nobility.
“Of course, I don’t think you’re wrong to lay down the law. Some gentler wording might have been a good idea, but in my opinion it’s better to be honest and brutal than to lie and set her up for failure later on. It’s… a hard situation, and I admire that you’re concerned enough for her well-being that you’d consult me.” “But at the risk of missing the obvious: what exactly do you want my help in doing?” Aaron finally asked.
“Do you want my help convincing her to speak to you again?”Aaron’s words were something Ben seemed to drink in; the perspective of a mage that had his own voice was something sorely needed. There wasn’t anything he disagreed with but the conclusion he arrived at was grim. Eris’ offer suddenly made sense as much as it pained him to admit. Of course, taking up said actor’s offer was an entirely different story and not one he should approach lightly.
“I wanted understanding,” Ben said.
“It could be that I am expecting too much in too little time, but that’s exactly the point I tried to make. In almost three and a half years she will be entering my house and then what? My father wouldn’t have it; she’s likely to either get relegated to a scullery maid or sold elsewhere.”Ben paused.
“Perhaps I could ask Her Highness for a switch. A noble setting is harsh even on mages that have trained their entire lives. She would still serve a vampire but she could end up with one with less responsibilities. I was also informed of a charity that may be able to take her in.”“What?” Aaron blurted out, too shocked by the Count’s words to temper his own in the moment. Benjamin was considering just, getting rid of Lilie?
What? He knew as well as any other vampire-raised mage that many, many mages met similar fates, but something about that happening to
Lilie, especially after all she’d already been through, got Aaron more heated than he’d prefer to admit.
“Count Benjamin, I…” he was speechless was what he was. Good Lord, it was a good thing he took this meeting—Lilie’s situation was far more precarious than he thought. But of course it was, why wouldn’t it be? She’d been given so many chances already, and she was entering a harsh world. Maybe the reason it hadn’t sprung to mind sooner was the very fact that Varis still kept
him around; there was no way Lilie could be more of a disappointment than he was, so it hadn’t even crossed his mind that she was at risk of being discarded. It seemed that was yet another example of Aaron being blind to what was right in front of him.
“Forgive my boldness, Count, but if you care about Lilie at all—and it seems that you do—then you cannot send her away.” It was ludicrous to speak to a noble that way, but the Count came looking for advice, and he’d get it. Firmly.
“She’s already been passed around three other masters before you. Three. I don’t think she could bear being discarded a fourth time.”He hadn’t noticed till then, but Aaron was leaning out of his chair. He took a second to settle himself back down before continuing.
“Not to mention that there’s no telling what would become of her under someone else’s care. A charity is a fine thought in theory, but I’m sure I don’t have to tell you that things are rarely what they seem.” He sighed, a deep-seated weariness apparent on his face.
“I understand that you feel pressured to mold her into an Eve mage by the time she enters your household. I do. And I agree that that’s imperative; it’s no mercy to protect her here only for her new life to eat her alive. But I implore you, don’t give up on her yet.” He met Count Benjamin’s eye, something he seemed to be doing a lot more of lately than he’d prefer.
“Lilie is not a lost cause. She’s only a late bloomer. I was, too; I’m three years older than her and not much more advanced in my magic. Remember that she started with nothing: in four short months she’s made incredible strides. Hell, I know someone who grew up with vampires and still didn’t know to hold his tongue in the Queen’s presence, and already you have Lilie singing for an audience and conducting herself respectably at formal functions. She has great promise, in that I am confident.”“I’m sure it seems like mere moments until she’ll have to reckon with the real world, but consider this,” Aaron added,
“she’s only halfway through her first year here, with three more to go after that. To a vampire, that’s a blink; to a mage, that can be a lifetime.” He held the Count’s gaze a moment longer before finally sitting back.
“There’s still time to shape her the way you want her to be. More time than you might think.” While it was the last thing he wanted to think about, Aaron reminded Ben greatly of the first time he had met Countess Marivaldi; she had asked him what it was that he wished he could inherit from a mortal. He wished he could take mortal passion to see what it was like to see it blossom and rage, to be at the height of emotion without regard. Seeing it in Aaron had put Ben to shame, if only for a moment.
He did take Aaron’s words to heart—the boy may have lunged himself across the table if he didn't!—and considered his next words carefully. Nothing Aaron said was inaccurate but it still left him with a conundrum. He did not leave Aaron’s gaze as he thought to himself and the many possibilities before him. It would look poor on him if he made such grand claims in front of Count Sinnenodel and then turned around to ship the girl off the first chance he got.
“I apologize for upsetting you in any way. It was not my intention,” Ben said.
“I would like to believe you, truly. Perhaps the problem doesn’t lie in the mage, but instead the master, then.”Even so he needed to make a decision.
“I suppose I should try harder, then,” He said.
“How do you think I should go about apologizing?”Aaron carefully avoided heaving the massive sigh of relief he wanted, instead relaxing a little more in his chair. Thank fate, he seemed to have gotten through to him. Of course, now he’d dug himself into a hole that might be harder to get out of: he wasn’t exactly the most practiced at making amends.
“Your patience is admirable, Count Benjamin,” Aaron told him. He spun his ring for another moment, thinking of what Lilie might want to hear from the man who was poised to control her life’s trajectory.
“... I think making it clear that you want to understand what she’s struggling with will go a long way. That said, she has a pretty deep distrust of vampires. I don’t know if she’ll believe you.” Hm, it was difficult indeed. Count Ben would have to reconcile the necessity of laying down the law with his clear desire to be on Lilie’s side. He shrugged, a little out of his depth.
“Well, you know what they say: actions do speak louder than words. I know it’s important that she knows where her boundaries lie, but maybe you could help build some trust by compromising on something trivial? I’m not sure; I’ll be honest, the idea of a Count capitulating to a mage is extremely foreign to me. But this is a unique situation.” Ben couldn’t help but laugh at Aaron’s words. Unique was not his first choice in describing the situation but it was apt! He would need to think hard on what course of action he could take to earn Lilie’s forgiveness, albeit he was interested in the idea of compromise. For all his talk of sympathizing with mages, he had yet to do so for his current partner. He would have to take strides to amend that. However, something else Aaron said struck Ben.
“I do earnestly believe I could come back with the moon itself and be refused simply because I’m a vampire. However, I was recently enlightened to the truth behind that, perhaps if I were to confront the vampire from her past, it could lead to something?” Ben asked.
“It seems when Lilie was a child, her mother had caught the attention of a vampire. It’s a tale as old as time but the result bore a scar that wouldn’t be forgotten.”“From what I have been told, Lilie’s mother was an accomplished fencer. So much so that she defeated a vampire in a one-hit match. Unfortunately said vampire dealt with it the same way most do, by ensuring she would never fence again. Seeing that as a child would traumatize most, I feel. But had I the method to find that vampire, I wonder if bringing him to justice would make her happy.”Aaron raised his eyebrows, not bothering to hide the look of astonishment on his face. The Count was willing to go to such lengths just to try and earn Lilie’s trust? He’d heard about the infamous mage sympathizer Count Benjamin Eve, but it was interesting to see those ideals put to practice—not to mention interesting to learn something so personal about Lilie’s past. He wasn’t sure how he felt about learning it from a third party, but it shed some light on Lilie’s discomfort with vampires at least.
“I must admit, I didn’t think you’d be willing to go so far,” Aaron said.
“I suppose I should have had more faith. Your reputation does precede you.” He nodded.
“I don’t know if it will fix everything, but if it were possible to bring something that harmed my mother to justice, I know it would bring me a measure of peace. Maybe that could help her begin to move past her trauma.” Of course, there was one pretty important hurdle he’d have to jump first.
“But do you think such a thing is even possible?” “At the end of the day, regardless of my actions, it is clear that no matter what I do there will always be doubt,” Ben explained.
“If I could ease that burden, we could make real progress. My actions would be taken at face value and wouldn’t have ulterior motives painted in her mind.”When it came down to it, however, Aaron had a point. In light of the conversation and honesty, he had one idea in mind.
“I sent a letter to Lilie’s family recently requesting to meet with them. I had been planning on asking about something else while I was there. I could add this question as well, and there is no better place than the source,” He said.
“I would ask for your discretion on this, of course. I don’t believe a vampire trespassing on what must be a ‘safe haven’ for Lilie would go down well.”Aaron nodded once more, still bewildered at the lengths the Count was willing to go to help Lilie find some peace.
“Of course. It’s not my business to be a liaison between the two of you anyway. But if I may, thank you for coming to me.” He caught the Count’s eye once more, completely sincere.
“I’m by no means an expert, but it’s a testament to your character that you’d seek another mage’s input on this rather than another noble’s. It’s… reassuring to know that Lilie is in empathetic hands.” Ben was truly humbled by the mage’s words. As much as he disagreed, it was nice to see his efforts recognized. He genuinely hoped he would reach a similar conclusion with his own mage sooner than later. He had looked too broadly at the situation, hadn’t seen the forest for the trees, and there was another approach he reached that he never would have found without his help. With that in mind he did decide he had taken up much of Aaron’s time and chose to stand.
“No, thank you. Your insight and your passion reminded me of why I have my reputation,” Ben said.
“Though if I may be so bold, I will remind you that my empathy is not solely in my house. While there may not be much I can do without incurring judgment, I would still like you to see me as a safe place. If it’s to entertain yourself or even just a talk about nothing in particular, I implore you to seek me out if you’d like. I understand and respect your duty to your count, of course. I would simply find myself at ease if you knew you had a space to unwind or even found it a place of peace.”Aaron stood as the Count did, wrapping his scarf back around his neck. But where he expected a cordial ‘good evening’, instead he received an offer of solace. Goodness, this was from the party, wasn’t it? The Count had been good enough to ignore him after Varis’ scathing review, but it must have prompted some sympathy from him. Aaron offered a cordial smile, nodding along with Benjamin’s words, but really, he was just embarrassed; nothing Varis said was exactly undeserved, and the last thing he needed was a vampire—a
noble especially—pitying him.
Still, he supposed the thought came from a good place; he shouldn’t rebuff it outright.
“That’s very kind of you, Count. Consider it noted.” He moved to bow, but stopped himself, hesitating for a moment before holding his hand out for a handshake instead. It felt weird, but the Count clearly wanted him to feel like he was on equal footing, and Aaron supposed he deserved that comfort after all he promised to do for Lilie.
“Have a good night.” Ben gave what he hoped was a warm smile—he didn’t want to come off as too overjoyed lest he scare the mage off. He did, however, take the handshake with much enthusiasm. Now that he had a plan in mind he supposed he should get to work on it. For now he would allow Lilie the distance as it was warranted.
“Thank you, Aaron,” He said.
“Have a good night.”