Location: Verona Clinic — Scout's Room
Interacting With: Each Other
Scout's eyes cracked right back open just after Alicia and Katalina left, and she was met with a familiar blonde head sitting next to her. Stifling a yawn and blinking furiously to ward off any drowsiness she shifted, moving to sit up against the headboard again. Jade was crying, legit weeping over Scout's bound hands, and she wasn't exactly sure what to do. Dealing with emotional people, people who really didn't seem to be ready for her usually blunt words, was something Scout didn't really understand. She stared down at the sobbing Jade, eyebrows upturned, and she wiggled her hand slightly to try and grab the girl's attention.
“Jade? Hey... Hey, you okay?" She whispered, coughing once to try and restore her aching voice.
“Hey, Jade, stop crying. I can't really understand you through all that snifflin'..."As her head was deeply buried into Scout's bandaged arm, her blonde hair slightly concealed any noise she might or might not have heard over her crying. Fortuneately, Jade was able to hear Scout's words, which then prompted Jade to raise head slowly. When she looked to Scout, the sight of her black eye-shadow going down her face due to her tears wasn't the best sight. Added to that, her eyes appeared to be puffy in parts, and the sniffling that Jade was doing for the next few seconds made Jade seem like she was taking deep breaths.
"Scout.." Jade said, a sniffling breath making her pause.
"I'm sorry." Jade paused again. She was trying to find it in herself to stop crying because it was getting harder for her to get complete sentences out. To try to help, Jade took a few deep breaths. Though slightly better, there were still remnants of her weeping left.
"It's my fault you're like this. If only I could have..."“It's not your fault, though." Scout's mouth almost fell open. Did Jade not realize she wasn't to blame for this? She shifted uncomfortably under her blankets, stifling a second yawn as her eyes locked directly with the other girl's.
"I know it wasn't your fault, so don't blame yourself. I'm okay." Scout had no logical proof to ensure that Jade wasn't the one causing the chaos. Just... The tugging in her gut, and the memory of fear and rage in the air, it just didn't
feel like Jade was responsible.
"I'm not dead, right? If I did die I would've haunted the shit outta you, but I'm not so it's okay." Her head lowered slightly, lips forming a small, goffy smile.
“I don't blame you for this." "But you should!" Jade said sharply, her fists clenching, slamming on her knees.
"I should've been stronger. I should've been able to tell who my friends were. Instead, I—" Jade's eyes fell down to her open palms. They were shaking. Jade was shaking.
"—Instead I almost killed everyone. I almost killed you, Jay, Alicia, Katalina, Ash — everyone. How can you not hate the sight of me? I do. I hate the fact that I was so weak that I couldn't stop myself." Jade said, her voice cracking. It was growing deeper, almost into a growl-like tone. Her eyes were like a rain cloud at this point. Her legs and hands were the soil that would be drenched in her eye liquid.
Scout shook, eyes narrowing slightly as Jade seemed to break right in front of her. What could she do? White-hot tendrils of uncertainty curled in her stomach, dragged at her mind and held her tongue back. She couldn't find words to try and calm the hysterical girl, and that very fact made her head swirl with anxiety.
“Jade--" Scout reached forward with a bandaged hand, but at the sight of it she quickly returned it to her side and merely tilted her head, sharing a forced, kind smile.
“It's not your fault, really Something was off last night, and something used you." Her eyes twisted to stare down blankly at her lap.
“You're not weak, whatever happened last night was just stronger than you. Than all of us." "Even if you say is true, even if there was someone or something controlling me, I still hurt everyone. Whether or not I was in my right mind, there was still that anger all built up. All of that anger from the past years built up, and because I was too stupid to handle it responsibly, you — and everyone else — paid the price. If only I could have just admitted to myself that I had all of these feelings towards certain people, maybe none of this wouldn't have happened." Despite Scout's best effort's Jade still felt this was her fault. Despite all of her efforts, it seemed that Scout's words would fall on deaf ears because Jade felt so guilty that she had no reason but to believe it was her fault.
“Is any really mad at you, though?" Scout's voice was cold, perhaps unintentionally so. She was concerned, confused, and unable to put her thoughts into decent words. Jade's guilt seemed to flow from her like a damless river, and Scout couldn't find a way to convince her friend that the chaos wasn't spurred from her ill-will. Sitting a bit taller than before, Scout shook her head, staring wide-eyed and pitifully at Jade.
“What's done is done, Jade. Everyone knows something is up, and I haven't met a single kid who's blamed you yet." She sat back slightly, eyes drooping,
"It's time to start looking forward I feel. Just forget about last night. Just... Pretend it never happened." "I can't, though," Jade said half-lowly.
"As much as I want to — and I really want to — the images of what I did to everyone keep on coming back. Each time I fall back asleep, I see it. I hear all of those screams. Even worse than all of that, I see the looks on your face, on Alicia's face, on Katalina's face, on Jay's. I see how scared and terrified you all were," Jade's fists clenched again.
What she spoke was the truth. She did see all of their faces and how scared they must have been at the time. Despite what Scout said, Jade couldn't get those looks out of her mind. They stuck to her like glue.
"And I know I wasn't in my right mind, or wasn't able to control my actions; but the fact of the matter is that I did that. I hurt you guys, and I have to live with that. " Jade looked up at Scout,
"you may be able to forgive me or say that it wasn't my fault, but I don't think I can do that, not yet, anyways." A pitiful smile became of Jade's face.
"I won't be able to look myself in the mirror with pride until I have made amends with everyone I hurt. Alicia and Kat might've saved me the trip, but I wanted to come to you first." Jade admitted to Scout, looking at her,
"the truth is, I miss how we used to be. I'm not even talking about just hanging out as casual friends - I mean really being friends. I miss being able to come to you like before. I miss being able to come to you, Jay, Ash, and everyone about any problem I may or may not be having. I miss that bond we all had before Jay and I broke up. I miss how it was before I turned to drugs." Jade said, never breaking eye contact with Scout.
“Jade..." Scout sighed, eyes connecting with the bandaged hands on her lap. "Jade, we could... The bond, ya know, it doesn't have to be different." She leaned towards the blonde, eyes narrowed and glittering with a nostalgic light. Ah, their middle school days were so much easier. Even if all the girls were already stuffing and all the boys were close minded and stupid, back then, when they were small and innocent and happy, everything just felt
right.
“Jade, we can go back to all that, you know? Just--" She shifted, head lolling to half-rest on her shoulder.
“If you go and, and make up with everyone it can come back. They'll... They'll forgive you, I know they will." Scout smiled, a real, beaming grin that lit up her face in an unusual way.
For a moment, Jade wasn't sure if Scout was being serious or not. She felt Scout's head to see if she had a fever. Nope, she was as hot as she always had been(yeah, Jade paid attention to her in that way, as well). So, it wasn't a fever. That made Jade smile - like really smile. There was no fake, just do it because you don't want to alert her to your true feelings. No, this was a smile that would remind Scout of the old, pre-drug-addict, alcoholic, promiscious Jade. That smile belonged to the blonde niece of the edgy Charlie Taylor. That smile belonged to the attractive blonde that captured Jay's heart. That was a smile that belonged to a girl originally thought lost, but seemingly has been found.
"You really think so?" Jade sounded hopeful.
"Scout, that's all that I really wanted. Just to be able to call everyone my friend again." Jade might have been showing tears, but they were actually happy tears. They were tears of joy and relief. They were full of hope and actually looking forward to the prospect of being friends with everyone once again.
Dion
AlteredTundra
