drewccapp — Roleplayer Guild

Anise seized as these new and powerful emotions blew through her mind. She saw herself committing heinous acts of slaughter, and liking it. Something felt like these emotions were hers and yet a rational part of her mind said that this was not hers. Her heart pounded as she struggled to come to terms with these powerful thoughts.

Kill, they always hated you, they don't deserve to live. Slit their throats, stab them, let their corpses rot.

N-no. She struggled against the darkness that enveloped her. This... this is wrong.

I killed the old man. The image of her bludgeoning him to death with the nightstick flashed before her eyes and a chill went down her spine. She had done that? Why didn't she remember? She must have blacked out or something. Instantly, regret mixed with the lust for murder as White Anise fought against Black Anise.

I killed the old man and liked it! Black Anise continued. He lied to me. He said that there was no way to return home.

I didn't want to! White Anise protested weakly. Her body felt physically sick temporarily. The memory makes me sick.

I did it for my own protection. He would have killed me! This place is ruled by survival of the fittest. Black Anise had chills of excitement run down her spine. The thrill of the hunt.

Tears ran down her face. Tears of sadness, and yet her expression was lust and hunger. I don't want that! No more! White Anise remembered her protectors: Hania, Randold, Tyaelaem and all they had done to help her survive. Even Simon and Talan accepted her into their group when they could have killed her. I am not a killer. I won't let this place make me a monster! I will protect everyone I can from now on. I will do it for everyone that protected me that I have lost.

They'll betray me. They'll hunt me. I'll die if I try to save others. After all, all of my guardians have died so far. For all I know my abandoning Tyaelaem resulted in his death. Black Anise felt a twisted pleasure in the thought of the boy being split open by one of Talan's spears. I can't trust anyone but myself. All others are stepping stones for my escape back home, and then I shall use the power I have gained here to continue my slaughter as Queen!

A strong feeling White Anise could only describe as righteous fury washed through her and Anise found herself fully standing up. Her tears had stopped and a determined expression had settled on her face. NO! I will only kill those that intend to kill for no reason other than bloodshed! I will protect those that need a guardian. I. WILL. NOT. FALL.

The murderous thoughts and emotions faded away after was felt like days. Anise stood tense as she struggled to maintain her focus against these dark thoughts that weren't hers. As the last of these thoughts faded her energy drained away. Even then she clutched the lantern tightly and glowered at the wolf. In the back of her mind she remembered the ship and the flicker of sunlight. She decided that if she earned the favor of the wolf, she would hold off on destroying this lantern and find that ship. She wanted to learn of its significance about the sun and then she would make her decision then.

Right now, she kept eye contact with the wolf and never lowered her guard towards it. Something about the wolf told her that it was smarter than the average animal. That made it even more dangerous. She even more than ever wanted to live, not only for those that died protecting her, but for those that she had killed herself.
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