Ex — Roleplayer Guild

Emily stood still, awestruck. She stared into the bleak eyes of the creature, even as the others attacked it. They didn't seem to notice her, too absorbed in the fighting, but neither did she pay any attention to them.

She'd never seen anything like the thing before her. Its grotesque, bulbous body, covered by a carapace of quivering, viscerous tendrils, was unflinchingly alien. It should have terrified her, but like so many things over the course of their journey from the Academy, it inspired little fear in her. In fact, it felt familiar, though the reason why eluded her adrenaline-addled mind. All she could do was stare at it, clutching her bo, frozen in beholding the malign wonder of the thing and wracking her brain for a memory that explained its familiarity.

The realization came as the creature writhed under the others' attacks. It came to her like the darkness always did, in her sleep, in sudden, absolute clarity. This thing, this creature - it was of that world, just as she sometimes was. It was kin to the things inside her, to the beings that had saved her life and taken others to preserve it. They were not precisely the same: The Caudata had no intellect, no real ability to plan or reason for itself, but they were related, just as humans were great apes. And it was related to her, too, if on a different level. Just like her, it was the plaything of something bigger and greater. It was playing a part scripted for it, only it had no real mind, no ability to control or temper itself as she could. Emily felt profound sympathy for the beast, though she knew it could feel nothing for her.

The others were screaming, racing around, trying to take it down as quickly as possible. She wanted to help them, truly, but she couldn't bring herself to hurt this thing. That was what they wanted, she realized. All of this was part of some plan, it had to be. Why else would this thing be here? Why else would they be the ones to fight it? She opened her mouth to scream, to tell the others to stop before it was too late, but in her delirium she was unable to produce even the slightest sound. The thing reeled, its scales sloughing off as Emily's friends destroyed it. They rained down towards Emily, massive, seething.

One struck her on the head; she collapsed to the ground. Another struck her squarely in the chest. She looked down to see pieces of it, covered in her blood, oozing over her skin.

Her last thought before slipping from consciousness was about her father. She'd forgotten, she realized, to call him before they left.

---

She had expected darkness, but found only light.

In many ways, it was like the void from her dreams. It was endless, as far as she could tell, absolutely all-encompassing. She floated in nothingness, transient against a backdrop of empty space. But it was different - where the void in her dreams was dark, silent and cold, this place was impossibly bright. The light should have blinded her. The sound, an impossibly loud, resonant tone, should have deafened her, and the heat that rolled over her body like waves should have burned her skin to ashes. It was as close as she could imagine to being at the center of a star. She wasn't heading into the light, she was already inside, and it felt like a terminus, a beautiful ending.

Relief washed over her mind. There would be no more fighting, no more conundrums, no more arguments or fears about the spirits inside of her. Looking back through her memory, now, she could see it all so clearly: How they had chosen her. How they manipulated her. How they fed her anger when it suited them, and then her cold resolve when that was what they needed. She could have been something different, something greater than what she was, if the spirits hadn't held her back. She'd never gotten that chance, but it didn't matter now, because she was free of them. Free to die - maybe already dead - and experience something else, something she was certain would be far better.

But the light began to fade. She was being pulled away, not back to life, but definitely out of this realm and into someplace else. Panic crashed through her mind. They weren't done with her; they were dragging her back. The spirits were trying to resurrect her. She didn't want to go back. Not for them, not even for Olivia, or Remi, or her father. She'd been okay with death; it had brought her warmth, and comfort. Now, she was falling back into the abyss. The darkness was all around her once more, leeching into her. She couldn't move, not even to scream. For the first time since the fight had begun, her senses came into focus. Her breathing was choked, but she managed to rasp out breaths. Her eyes snapped open.

Emily was lying on the wet sewerbed. There was blood all over her hands and the top of her fatigues. In the distance, she could see the hulking mass of the caudata dissolving into nothingness. Her hands, clenched over the place where the wound had been, covered not skin but some other fleshy substance, writhing under her touch. She knew it wasn't part of her, but she could feel it attached to her body. Neither was it from the dying creature, but it was something of a similar kind. It had saved her life, she thought - she had no reason to believe this, but she was sure of it. The others stood over her, staring down. She made a noise like a sob, but there wasn't enough air, and it just came out as a gasp. She wanted desperately to return to the light, but it had gone.

She lapsed into unconsciousness again, hoping it would return, but the void was waiting to greet her.

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