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    1. Goldmarble 11 yrs ago
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In I Feel Awful 11 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
Jster said
Oh god you guys have to do a parallel park....We just had a section called maneuverability. Which wasn't a parallel park, but it was our version of it. It was a bitch. But not nearly as bad as a parallel park.


The hell did you have to do then?

And am I the only one here who loves driving? Shit, I drove around my neighborhood in reverse when I was on my L.
Raxacoricofallapatorius said
It's a .Fedora:Cheap douchey wal-mart knockoff (trilby):


Am I the only one who doesn't see much of a difference?
In I Feel Awful 11 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
Failed my first test because I accidentally backed onto the sidewalk.

Second test? Nailed it.
The snapping crackle of a swath of bullets flicking past overhead drove his cheek down to the cold, wet receiver of the anti-tank rifle. His heart lurching in his chest as black, ice talons tried to snatch his heart and leave him paralyzed in fear. It took effort. A force of will he wasn't sure he had, to blink, and focus. He had practiced this. Slow things down. Round is chambered. Safety is off. Acquire a target. Each step slowed his heart rate, each step helping him focus, push aside fear and terror, and do what needed to be done. The enemy had half-tracks, and he was the only one in immediate position to slow them down, to stop them.

The nose of one of the machines lined up with the front post of the rifle's sight, it was between six and five hundred yards. He exhaled his breath and squeezed the trigger. The rapid fire of the machine guns, the piercing crackle of rifles, and the staccato of the sub-machineguns died in the drowning roar of the G1939. The blast deflected by the muzzle brake rippled perpendicular to his position through the grass, as Halliger was shoved in the shoulder by a force few would ever experience. He reset, and fired again, driving another hardened steel projectile down range, through a second hole in the half track's radiator, punching through the cylinder bores and snapping connecting rods like twigs, before the steel projectile shoved its way through the firewall of the vehicle, scattering steel and cast iron shards before the projectile made itself home the spare ammunition storage.

The world was mute, except for the high pitched squealing hiss in his ears as acquired the lead half track. He could feel the snapping of rounds flashing past him like angry hornets, clods of dirt were being chewed up in front of him as machineguns and rifles refocused their aim on the cannon's report. One more squeeze of the trigger sent a round on its way as he ducked out of the hair of fire that threatened to find him. He pulled the G1939 back with him, out of harms way for the moment. He could see flashes of white down, and then the deep thumping rumbling of something very loud occurring. As wet black soil stopped spraying onto him, sound started to come back, and the first words he heard, "---LL BACK! FALL BACK!" muted and hardly intelligible if it weren't for the pattern to the command. He looked for the carrying straps to load a pair of ten round magazines for the anti-tank rifle, "Scheisse!" He had forgotten the carrying pouch, either of them. Rather than dwell, he ripped the magazine out of the rifle, and rocked in a second fresh magazine. That, with the already chambered cartridge, would give him eleven to work with. Crudely swinging the G34 over his right shoulder by its strap, waited for a moment, before gathering himself and the ATR, and leaving the death pit. Three magazines forced to be left behind as he ran, rushing past the barn which now belted out heat like a furnace.

Legs like pistons, driving him forwards to the treeline, and past Balalika as he slid down the embankment, away from the bullets that sought to destroy them, he then scrambled back to the ridge, shoving the barrel of the 1939 through the base of a bush as he flopped down behind it himself. He saw a half track, about to be concealed by the inferno that was a barn. The rifle barrel swung about, he held over for range, and then fired, another thunderous pair. Hoping to slow them down with one more damaged or destroyed vehicle. The first shot he saw punching through the upper sheetmetal of the body, the second he fired through the barn itself, knowing that the burning wood would provide no protection from his gun, but the effects could not be observed. Rudolph recoiled from the slope, pulling himself, and the rifle back to his arms, to continue the retreat.
At the thought of some quads, he relaxed a little. Tyko was used to using his truck as a base camp, and if they were moving farther in, a quad would be most helpful as his gear as not tailored for backpacking or light weight travel. He did have a day bag though. He moved to the back of the old jeep and pulled the mountain bike from the hitch, leaning it against the rig, then he released the jerry-cans and lined them up beside the bicycle. Stooping next to the hitch, he pulled the pin on the welded aluminum contraption, and tugged it free, the metal crunched and ground into the gravel as he settled it down, thankful he made it out of aluminum rather than steel from the sheer weight savings. This finally let him to the tail gate and rear hatch door of the camper shell. It wasn't elegant or well engineered, but it worked for what he had needed. The tinted hatch swung up, and the tail gate dropped, with a slight groan of old metal and clanking of rusted chains before they pulled taunt. Climbing in, over the thin foam mattress that cushioned him from the hard plywood platform when he slept, he pulled a cover and pulled from the front well behind the driver's side, a old nylon day pack, black and green, and looking like it had seen plenty of wear and tear; two of the zipper pulls were replaced with paracord pulls, and the right hand strap had been reinforced after being sandwiched between a pair of thick nylon wedges, a different shade of green, that had yet to fade. As he started sliding back out, he heard Danny comment about no tents, slithering to the ground, he shrugged at the older man, while looking back into the truck for a moment, "Well...that's good. I think I forgot to bring one."

Sliding open the drawer for his clothing, he simply packed an extra pair of socks, and a second heavy sweater, or if he didn't need the stove..."Cabins?"Tyko looked back over his shoulder to Danny and Jack, "Stoves are already up there, right? If I don't have to drag my old Coleman with me tonight, that would be a welcome relief." his fingers reached down to the wooden haft of his axe, "Is there split wood ready? And do you know if the trail is clear?" If he needed to, he could haul his felling axe and bucking saw, they didn't add that much weight, considering their usefulness if there happened to be a tree down on the trails, or if there was a lack of abundant split wood ready for them. Suddenly he cursed himself silently, he'd forgot to brink a load of dry, seasoned firewood with him. It was always like that, you think of something you might need, when you're too far from home to return and fix the situation.

Finally the last thing Danny said filtered through Tyko's mind, "Wait...women? More people are coming?"
.....Ew.

Elves.

27
Park Warden
Info: Allison Wright was born and raised in Happy Valley-Goose Bay, Labrador, the youngest of four children. Her mother and father, Charlotte and Frank both served in the military before leaving the service to start up their own helicopter company in 1983. Moving from Ontario to a place they both had fallen in love with during their time in the military, a small town in Labrador. Starting with a Bell 206, their business quickly expanded, growing from a husband and wife team with a hired mechanic, to a crew of 62 and a fleet of seven helicopters, including their latest prize, a Kaman K-MAX heavy lift helicopter.

As such, Allison grew up surrounded by helicopters, mechanics, natural resource explorers, and scientists of nearly all stripes. During her summers, she helped around the hangars, to working in the office, went on hunting trips with her father, and her friends. She fell in love with a Biologist over a summer, who sparked her interest in the field of outdoor sciences, which was the only lasting effect of the relationship.

She went to university for a few years, exploring environmental sciences and biology, before she realized she didn't really enjoy studying, or researching, she just loved being outdoors. A change of her classes to law enforcement and she soon joined Parks Canada with a diverse skill set that ranges from having her Helicopter License, to being an avid hunter, conservationist, and photography enthusiast.
In My my my... 11 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
...Stomach turns again tonight she says:
And crashes on her floor
Cuts what she can't untie
ties it to a door
Shit. I missed a solid opportunity to unleash some accumulated rage :(
Page six and....

Daaaaymn. Why Did I need to go to bed so eaaarly last night?!

Apparently missed all the shenanigans leading up to your comment Drakel.
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