Guccicorn

Rise of the New Heroes

Paige

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Paige was frustrated.

She was frustrated that her hits, each enough to send a grown man sprawling, had only managed to shrink a few of the rotund villain's balls. He hadn't even noticed, hadn't even paused to wonder.

She was frustrated that the sight of a speeding cargo truck, probably full of something valuable, speeding toward him with an undeniably aggressive vibe, didn't even seem to phase him.

She was frustrated that, upon hearing that he was the main target of a dozen or so returning Storm Troopers, this Midknight character just stood there looking cocky, despite having shown no power that would suggest he could handle what was running at him aside from dumb luck.

Uh ... I guess dumb luck could actually be a power ...

The barrier that sprang into being at the same second as the barrage of gunfire kind of supported the notion, but then the man in the long coat had been pretty on-it defensively. Whatever the case, it was a bad time to stop and think about it.

Regardless, she was most frustrated by the fact that, one by one, everything they threw against Thundercloud was falling apart at the ends of his stupid greasy fingers. He tazed the two turn coats from across the lobby, stopped the oncoming truck with a raised middle finger, and even had time to diminish people with handicaps before destroying the ENTIRE lobby.

Paige crossed her arms and stood her ground with a hopeless glare on her face, standing close enough to the magic man to expect the barriers that rose to protect her and the others nearby. She still dropped down to cover herself as debris exploded all around her, but the lightning bolt with her name on it struck only force field. As the dust swirled, the whole building groaned around them, the walls struggling to take on the weight that the columns had been helping with.

Maybe a building would stop him ...

That seemed a bit reckless, but she was getting pretty done with his fluffy grey ass.

Hearing Olivia's outburst from across the lobby, she turned to see what was wrong, only to notice that the man in blue had made his way over to the huddle. The troopers, for one reason or another, were running back out to fight the cops, while Olivia just stood there staring on in horror ... and then laughing ...

To be fair, it was pretty weird seeing the tire rolling around on its own like a badass, but Paige was quickly learning not to question 100% of what she saw for the sake of her own sanity.

Actually, the tire gave her an idea. Seeing that Thundercloud's blasts had blown open all the doors off the walls in the entire room, the janitor's closet was now exposed. Time slowed around her as she dashed over, peering into the ruined little room. It was pretty sparse, but on a shelf beside the door sat a stack of rubber cleaning gloves.

Balling up a few pairs in her fists, she pushed herself against the back wall before slowing time. Pushing herself off, she built up a bit of speed, clumsily shouldering Thundercloud in the side to stop herself at the same time as the tire hit him in the front. Dialing back her speed to allow safe handling of the gloves, she was partly counting on the all-season distraction to give her an extra moment or two to enact her plan.

Releasing the rubber gloves from her grip, they fell slowly toward the floor as she took hold of the first. It billowed out as she moved it toward Thundercloud's hand, sliding easily over his meaty paw.

The second one she caught and slipped onto his other hand with equal ease. She layered both hands twice before running out of gloves, praying her high-school-science level plan would have some kind of dampening effect on his thrown lightning, if only for a few moments. Springing up into the air, she planted her foot against his exposed face to push herself back toward the group, landing a few feet away from the summoning circle and its feline occupant, just beside his protectors.

As time returned to normal speed around her, the man who had announced himself as Midknight was asking about touching the spears poking out of the ground. The woman in the grey jacket, seemingly the one responsible for the glimmering objects, must have been like magic man ... who seemed ... busy ...

Did it just ... ask for fish ... like right now?

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

If the murder turtle is intimidating, remember, it's just a general name and you're being close-minded!

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

Madeline had been standing behind the counter for only a few minutes when she let out a gigantic sigh relative to her little lungs. Why wasn't anyone here yet? Had the turtle put them off? Stepping down from her stool, and turning, she sat, only the tippiest tip of her hat visible over the counter. Resting her elbows on her knees, and planting her chin between her palms, Madeline sulked. Was she even ready for this? What was she going to do when the first person arrived and asked for ... well, whatever people get at cafes. What was she going to tell them?

Another heavy sigh shook her little shoulders ... she was going to have to get ... y'know, stuff. Would her hardship never end?

Straightening up, she peered around at the empty order counter, and the little empty kitchen behind it. If only she'd had the patience to hand-carve a fridge ... a stove ... could she carve ingredients? No, that was just silly.

Well, She thought, straightening up and pushing her hat away from her eyes, no point putting it off. Standing from her little stool of darkness, she rolled the sleeves of her ornate little witch dress, black as the night's sky on one of those really really black nights, and held out her index fingers.

With a wave as small as it was mighty, Madeline summoned into being everything she would need to actually RUN a cafe ... well, except people to help. Say what you will, people generally frowned on suddenly poofing people into existence. Even just poofing someone from somewhere else wasn't usually well received. The best response she'd ever gotten was a little pat on the head and a thank you from a great big toothless man in a lovely, stripey jumpsuit, whose chains jingled when he ran.

Hopping up, the little witch held herself up on the edge of the counter, gently kicking her feet as she peered into the space behind. A little frown crossed her little face as she saw the groceries she'd summoned were all still in their bags on the floor. Unfortunately, it would have taken a wizard of far greater experience to cast a spell of organizing ... for some reason.

With her sleeves already rolled, at least she was ready for ... UUUUGGGGHHHHH labour.

It took her well over an hour to put the items all into their places, decide she didn't like where they were, tear everything down again, move the fridge, move it back, and put everything back where she'd originally put it but swap the herbs and spices for the canned goods and basically same thing. Re-emerging from the kitchen, she waved a finger to cast a spell of refreshment, momentarily blasted with a refreshing magical breeze of cleanliness.

Proudly stepping back onto the stool, this time it took only seconds before boredom literally FORCED her to faceplant onto the counter and begin wailing loudly, slamming her fist dramatically onto the lovely, hand-carved counter.

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

While these are fine bricks, I have run out of windows. The notes have provided useful feedback tho, and I would like to address one point in particular;

>AHEM< ... >cough choke cough gasp catch breath< ...

This is just a silly inn/cafe/hangout RP where you are welcome to make ridiculous characters and then kill them or vanish them in fantastical or horrifying ways when you git tired of them.

Also, this is a free post rp, I'm just making such long posts because ... when I'm bored, words come out of me.

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

Name: Madeline LeMagique
Age: 17 (only appears 16 due to a foul curse)
Race: Witch Person
Personality: [+4]
Biography: Yes
Powers: Through a series of magic rituals Madeline gained the power of the godqueen known as OP. She has OP powers.
How did you get here: I carved this place myself ... not the turtle, mind you ... who are you? Do you want a coffee or something, you just seem to be wandering around bothering people for their information and taking notes. That's pretty sus if you ask me, like why can't you just leave people alone or be legit about what ur on about bruv fr ... tf you mean 'for the character sheets.'


GITOUTOFMYCAFE!

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

( > u ,u)> it's the hug monster coming to hug u and take ur chikin!
Oh no ur chikin was way off hug monster ded! ( v x ,x)

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

( > u ,u)> it's the hug monster coming to hug u and take ur donut!
Oh no it got ur donut and u got no hug! ( > u ,u)>( o )

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

( > u ,u)> it's the hug monster coming to hug u and take ur wallet!
Oh no it got ur wallet and u got no hug! ( > u ,u)>[$]

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

Madeline plopped herself down on a stump and peered up at her finished handiwork, the ornate wooden sign for the Nonsense Cafe, which was, in point of fact, an Inn. Removing her tall, pointy black hat, she pulled a rather large slice of watermelon from inside before setting the hat down next to her. Taking a large first bite, she sighed a juicy sigh. Magic was hard work, all that waving your hands around and remembering things. She would have to remember to take more breaks. Definitely. Moving forward she would take one break after starting a task, and ADDITIONAL break after half-completing the task, and then her usual break just before completing a task, possibly the most important break of them all.

So long had she been magicing and breaking that the sun had almost set behind the marshmallow puff mountains and their marshmallow puffs. Snatching up her hat and taking only a few more bites of her watermelon, she threw the rind over her shoulder and gasped. It was almost time!

Raising her juicy hands and pointing her melony fingers, Madeline took a deep breath and closed her eyes. Waving her fingers, the hundred of purple bell flowers surrounding the hand-carved sign illuminated with a soft yellow light. Slowly the light spread to the blooms encircling the roof of the squat, cozy little wooden building. It had been difficult, finding a tree from which to carve the cafe in its wholeness. Some had suggested using MULTIPLE pieces of wood, but Madeline wasn't the type to give up and cut corners so easily. She eventually found one that suited her needs ... thought the locals had been a bit upset.

Elves can be so temperamental.

She'd carved day and night (with adequate breaks) until the whole thing was finished. She'd almost gone mad carving opening doors and lookie-through windows until she'd figured out the secret; alchemy. Now it stood ready, all that was needed was a customer ... and possibly some ingredients. In her haste to decorate, she'd forgotten about ingredients.

And decorate she certainly had ... admittedly a good portion of it NOT hand-carved. The interior, which seems ever-so-much larger than the exterior might lead one to believe, is rich in colours found in the night sky, over a background of, you guessed it, wood. It can host an infinite number of guests, plus 1, in its cozy, infinite number of rooms (plus 1, all hand-carved), though the common room will only hold 12, 14 if you're friendly, 18 if ye weird like that. Spacious, solid tables, comfortable chairs, a roaring illusion of a crackling fire, a 100% imitation stone hearth, and a number of fine couches that only sometimes devour their occupant. Do be less dramatic, they are JUST playing around.

But yes ... ingredients ... probably important those ...

Oh well, she was a witch, she would just figure it out. She may have been cursed with eternal youth after slipping bubble potion into the soup at the grand gathering, but she wasn't going to let her dreams escape just because she had trouble reaching the top shelves or seeing over the counter ... why had she carved the counters so high?!

Too late now.

She wove the very essence of shadow itself together to make herself a step stool to stand on.

Finally, with a poke of her finger, the completely-non-magical-entirely-powered-by-electricity neon sign lit up, proclaiming, in exactly two colours of neon, the business to be open!

EDIT: Proofreaded!

Nonsense (A Silly Place) [Jump in]

There will be no explanation.
See second post ...

Thank you,
Guccicorn

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@Guccicorn This is stupid, what are you even doing?

@Guccicorn How did you even get out, that door was locked from the outside of the boat before I sank it in lava ... I'm trying to make like ... SOLID boredom come out of my ears. Like force it into reality as a shiny rock or something.

@Guccicorn Yeah i bet you would love some rock ... CRAKROK!

@Guccicorn RUDE! Unless you're legit offering in which case ... ( > u ,u)>[#]

@Guccicorn COMEBACKHERE! I didn't even git a hug QwQ