Incanus

The White Company

@fantasyfan28 Your CS is nearly there, but I have a few observations.

1. You never said which realm Andor belongs to. Going by the names and the general feel, I am going to assume Elinor. Do mention it somewhere in your post.

2. You mentioned easy-going as a character trait. But I don't see how someone overzealous and stubborn can be easy-going. Add to that being honorable and you will have a person who cannot stand his morals/judgement/methods being questioned. You might want to reconsider that.

3. When you say 'not completely trained in herblore', what do you mean? What are his limits? Can you give some instances, such as "He can find herbs to put a salve on minor wounds but cannot handle anything more than a nick" etc?

4. With regards to languages, my fault I haven't mentioned it in the main OOC post. I should say that the fair-skinned northerners (the Elinorans, the Carmalans and the Chironi) speak the same language, though the Chironi have dialect/accent differences. The Dunmen speak a different language, but the northern language (called the Common Tongue) is known by almost everyone. So, my point is, language is not going to be a barrier in this world and thus not an exceptional skill. If you guys feel otherwise, I am willing to reconsider of course!

Wheel of Time: Trolloc Wars [Cancelled]

<Snipped quote by Blue Demon>
The only thing I see wrong is that Artur Hawkwing hasn't been born yet. He was born after the Trolloc wars were done. So if you could change that, you're character will be accepted.

@Blue Demon

Can't believe I made such a cardinal error. Fixed it. The Adonin claim descent now from High Queen Egoridin (the one that allied Jaramide with the other nations of the compact).

Wheel of Time: Trolloc Wars [Cancelled]

@Blue Demon I posted my character. And I realized I posted it straight on the Characters section. Sorry about that. I hope you like it.

Wheel of Time: Trolloc Wars [Cancelled]

Name: Tel Adonin
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Nationality/ Race: Jaramide

Appearance:


Physical Description: Tel is just short of six feet, with a shock of messy brown hair and dark brown eyes. He usually is dressed in simple cotton breeches and shirt with a green vest over it, secured with a leather belt, and a pair of leather shoes. He has a thin, angular face, his cheeks covered with adolescent bristle that he is quite proud of.

Personality: He is a rather flaky person, never willing to really get involved in anything. He believes that the less one knows about the world, the simpler one's life becomes. Despite his current profession, he does have a strange set of morals. And, perhaps because of his current profession and the horrors of the past, he tries to take the day as it comes, without any seriousness.

History: The Adonins were a minor House in Jaramide who, like most insignificant houses of that time in Jaramide, claimed descent from High Queen Egoridin. But despite their tall claims and pompous proclamations, the Adonin was never a major player. Over the years, owing to some unfortunate inheritances and some stupid decisions, the Adonins lost whatever little lands they had to the other families. When Tel was born to Ajen and Mira, they were well on their way to poverty. The family inheritance consisted of one miniscule farm and the run-down inn above which they stayed.

Tel grew up in such rustic surroundings. His father lived in a forgotten time, still calling himself 'Lord' Adonin while everyone else called him the innkeeper. In the small town of Corala (not two days' ride from the capital), the Innkeeper Lord was a local joke. Tel's mother had been from a similar insignificant house in Coremanda, and her father had been only too happy to unload his fifth daughter to yet another nobody.

Right from an early age, Tel realized what his father never could - they were commoners and cannot afford lofty dreams. He did various jobs around the inn as he grew up - stablehand, sweeper, dishwasher, courier boy and many others. While his mother tried to teach him the ways of the court and the history of the nations, he was more interested in making a tidy profit. His father never really bothered with the business of the inn - treating it like a hobby. Tel, on the other hand, wanted to make the inn work. By the age of 17, he was practically managing the inn all by himself.

And then, the trollocs came. Like every other boy of his age, he was 'volunteered' into the army and sent to fight the trollocs. Tel had never been a fighter and he found the experience of being in an army extremely disgusting and depressing. He was assigned to one of the Captains as a messenger and spent his days of the invasion running, darting, evading snouts and spears, carrying messages. When Barsine fell, the army was routed. Some troops managed to make an orderly retreat, but there was no place to retreat to. Everywhere, the trollocs had burned and destroyed. When he returned to Corala, it was a smoking ruin. The inn was razed to the ground. Of his parents, there was no sign.

Tel took to the road, trying to make his way to safety. His training in the army and his years of cajoling customers in the inn had given him skills he put to use. He moved from town to town, mourning and drinking, until he found himself in Al'cair'rahienallen in Almoren. His money had run out and he had no friends. Naturally, he took to the thieving trade.

Since then, Tel has been a moderately successful thief. His thin frame and his nimble feet enable him to scale walls and roofs with relative ease, while his street-smart thinking enables him to hoodwink the unwary traveler. Deep down, Tel knows that this is not what he wanted his life to be. But desperate times called for desperate measures, and he convinced himself that he was stealing from the rich and feeding the poor. Well, feeding one poor man. Himself. Still.

Skills: Thieving, Climbing, Running, Dodging, Coaxing, Negotiating, Rudimentary swordfighting

Strengths: The ability to remain nonchalant in the presence of a threat; The physical dexterity to scale walls and jump across roofs; The intuitive understanding of city life when it comes to the underbelly

Weaknesses: Flimsy set of moral codes; Selfishness; Prefers flight to fight.

Other: If it pleases the Light, Tel may be Ta'veren. He has always blamed his rotten luck for landing him in one mess from another.

The Curse of the Crown [1 OPEN spot]

@Manticore You said I should edit my IC because Alexis character has changed. Where can I see the new changes? What part of my IC should I be editing?

Wheel of Time RP

That's a good point, @Eklispe. I think it is way better. And it seems to be done very well so far. I will try and join before all the fun starts! :)

Wheel of Time: Trolloc Wars [Cancelled]

Thanks to @Eklispe I just noticed this. I see that the IC hasn't started yet. Would love to be a part of this from the beginning. So, FYI, I am working on a character as soon as I digest the OOC information.

The White Company

..SNIP..
Is this good? Should it be longer? I'm honestly not quite sure, this is my first advanced (and in fact any) RP here!

@RPforthatPR

@RPforthatPR Generally, in the advanced section, we look for more depth of character. We need to know what kind of a person Walter is. He has lived for more than 30 years, was a soldier-of-fortune and traveled wide. Surely such a person will have a tale to tell! How was he as a soldier? Did he like money more than he liked loyalty? What about his brother? How did he die? Why did that make him take such an early retirement? How is he making ends meet now that he is not fighting for money anymore?

Basically, I want to know what kind of a person he is, by reading his history. Not just the single-word adjectives like short-tempered. They are merely guides and pointers for later skimming. If you looked at @MacabreFox's CS, you will see that Zahira (the character) is a headstrong woman with an aggressive streak and who has an independent bent of mind. I can, for instance, predict how Zahira will react in a particular situation. And when I notice discrepancies, I can immediately, as GM, warn the respective player that they are not sticking to character.

So take your time. There doesn't seem to be any hurry from anyone else in getting this going. Flesh out your character. Find out what Walter likes and dislikes; what he fears the most etc. Nobody's perfect, so even your characters should not be. Show me some shades of grey and you won't regret it. Above all, give more life to Walter.

And while we're on the subject, try not to make your character's names obviously RL. Some naming conventions:

Elinor - English-sounding names, but use your imagination to give them a twist. Martin can become Matin. Peter can become Paitar. You get the idea.

Carmalan - Similar to Elinoran but their names are softer on the tongue.

Chiron - Very hispanic/mediterranean in its flavor. Try stuff that sounds like Pedro, Felunti etc

The Dun - As is now evident, the Dun have arabic flavor in their names, with a lot of Zs and Hs. A twist on any islamic name will work. But, as I said, try to get that twist in and keep it fantasy.

Petrichor (closed)

@Mokley Oh and I have a question. I may be jumping the gun here, so stop me if you intend to resolve this in your own time. I noticed the world is large, wild and the people tribal and wrapped largely in ignorance. All us players are from various pockets in this large world. How do you intend to start us of? Do we just pick our starting position or do you have plans to nudge us in the right direction before the IC begins?

The Curse of the Crown [1 OPEN spot]

Redoran looked at the dying sun, unseeing as he tried to forget. The sun was going down in a flurry of crimson and amber even as the purple fingers of night crept from the east. It was an abstract battle of light and dark, played out everyday. Though he tried not to think or philosophize, the thought came to him that this battle will go on. There was no winner. There was no loser. Just an eternally unstoppable force meeting an infinitely unbreakable wall. To mere mortals with limited sense of morality, light represented all that was good. And dark all that was bad.

As if you can parcel them into neat little packets of two, he thought. Didn't the sun burn the skin on hot days? Hadn't the night provided the soft murmurs of a comfortable sleep? Was there such a thing as purely good or purely evil?

He emitted a soft grunt of irritation. Again, he was letting his mind wander, like a dead leaf carried by the breeze. He had been training everyday to focus his mind, channel its attention to single point of nothingness, to detach himself from reality, to forget the reminders and fly like a bird. Needless to say it had been a total failure so far. And every time he tried to focus, the town behind him kept intruding.

With a sigh, he turned around to face the town that had magically appeared like a sudden rain cloud. For 30 years he had roamed these very lands and thought he knew every fold and crevice. And yet, here he was standing in the eastern borders of his kingdom, and here was a town, plain as a rock, that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere. He had been told to expect it, of course. But still, he was supposed to be an expert ranger of these lands!

Kirin Taq. A town of legend, it seemed. And a place where several fates will be decided.

With a grim set to his face, he mounted Shamran, his black warhorse, and let her walk into the town. As she stepped on to the cobblestoned path, he felt a rush of something pass him. It wasn't the wind. He absently fingered the ring on his left hand. Meru'rithil, set in a ring of silver.

The houses looked like skulls, staring out with empty sockets. Night fell quickly around him as he made his way through the 'town' - for want of a better word. There was something decidedly eerie about this place. If Prince Edgar hadn't vouched for this Shi'larra, he would have thought he was walking into the den of the Black Witch herself. He shivered slightly and felt his spine tingle. He turned a corner.

Immediately he tensed. The sight of an armored man is like a beacon to any knight. It is a sign of danger. But beyond a momentary tightening of his thighs on Shamran's saddle, he didn't let his worry show. The Prince had vouched for this Shi'larra and this town was supposed to be the safest place to meet. So many things that he had no control over.

As he approached the armored knight, he realized it was a woman. Wearing the armor of the Kingdom of the Rivers. So this was Alexis Chandle, who, if rumour was to be believed, was a protege of his host. His eyes instinctively went to her sword. It was a thing of beauty, long and gleaming. And she looked like she knew how to use it. Very well.

He approached her and dismounted. "Well met," he said, holding out his hand. "I am Redoran, son of Rhuarn. And unless I am mistaken, you must be Alexis Chandle - the one they call Mia'lithil, Maiden of the River. Am I late?"