Lalliman Member
A Bird
- Last Seen: 9 days ago
- Old Guild Username: Lalliman
- Joined: 11 yrs ago
- Posts: 546 (0.14 / day)
- VMs: 3
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- Lalliman 11 yrs ago
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Most Recent Posts
No, hold on. I'm about to post. After that you can probably go.
Yes you can, just tell us the position and we'll mark it as reserved.
Just don't then keep us waiting so long that we start wondering if you're still interested.
Just don't then keep us waiting so long that we start wondering if you're still interested.
Well, this is unexpected. Seeing as i'm dead and i dunno how easily Ahven can return from the shadow realm, it looks like Free ain't done yet.
Edit: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU double post.
Edit: FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU double post.
Well, this is unexpected. Seeing as i'm dead and i dunno how easily Ahven can return from the shadow realm, it looks like Free ain't done yet.
Looks like we posted at the same time. Please read the post above yours.
You know what, it's getting late and i'm too tired to do a full review. I skimmed it and have a few random points to make:
- Is there any reason he weighs so little? Sure, he's short, but i know 5' asian women who weigh more than 90 lbs. In fact, Nyaga is absurdly light as well. It seems to me a snake of that size would weigh 1000 pounds rather than 200. Then again, i tend to overestimate the weight of things, so you'll need a second opinion.
- Curses are still unspecified and vulnerable to Batmanning.
- There's no mention of how much Terror beast form enhances his physical abilities.
I'll do a full review tomorrow if someone else hasn't yet by that time, which is unlikely.
- Is there any reason he weighs so little? Sure, he's short, but i know 5' asian women who weigh more than 90 lbs. In fact, Nyaga is absurdly light as well. It seems to me a snake of that size would weigh 1000 pounds rather than 200. Then again, i tend to overestimate the weight of things, so you'll need a second opinion.
- Curses are still unspecified and vulnerable to Batmanning.
- There's no mention of how much Terror beast form enhances his physical abilities.
I'll do a full review tomorrow if someone else hasn't yet by that time, which is unlikely.
That explains the saliva and psi powers. The saliva is still questionable to have available in a fight though. Maybe it needs to be administered in a specific way that's not convenient in combat?
Before i reread the whole thing, how much of it did you edit? All tabs or just the two new ones that you added?
Before i reread the whole thing, how much of it did you edit? All tabs or just the two new ones that you added?
Lalliman said
@Drall: Yay for teamwork! Though you might wanna mention how wide and high the wall is, that may be important for Schradinger's next move.
Ok so, somehow i missed all of the banter that went on regarding this wall cause i didn't have the sense to click previous page after going to the latest post. Thus, my comment was irrelevant.
And yes i give Ug Nug permission to join in, if you feel like he can accomplish anything. Even a sneak attack is very unlikely to take out Evvie or Gregor, and Adrian, the only one who might go down to it, has backstab immunity. So yeah :|
And i'm not opposed to the cave-in teleportation proposal.
@Notdeadyet: Regardless of the reason, the ability to make anyone completely immortal is quite a game breaker, let alone yourself. But whatever, we'll wait for your reworked CS before giving any further criticism. And i'm glad you took our criticism well.
As for rating him, i'm not too fond of giving ratings, especially since i know little about the world Jynxs is from, which makes a big difference in how i would view the character. He would make a great anime villain, i can tell you that. Though in terms of abilities, i can't help but legitimize Skally's claim of Sueishness, due to the sheer amount of gratuitous powers Jynxs has. Then again, for all i know everyone in his world is capable of that. Anyhow, i think there's a good character under there, but he needs a lot of work.
Okay, I had a look at it and there is indeed work to be done before he’s arena-ready. Things you should address include but are not necessarily limited to:
- There’s no physical strength or speed mentioned anywhere.
- “his saliva makes whoever he bites incapable of dying for short periods of time (max 8 minutes)” What? Mind explaining why that’s one of his powers and what purpose it serves? It seems counterproductive in a fight.
- I advise that you make him resistant but not immune to physical attacks. Some characters don’t have anything else. Sure, they can just choose not to fight you, but you wouldn’t want to limit your potential opponents too much do you?
- If his flesh is mud, what are his bones made of? Does he have any organs at all? If not, can he even die? There are few things that can damage mud to the point where it isn’t mud anymore.
- Terror gaze is very questionable. It’s pretty much an auto-hit unless the target somehow knows not to look into his eyes. If you change "may blind the caster" to "will blind the caster" and put a time limit on the hallucination as to when it wears off, it might be acceptable. Though you'll have to ask LeeRoy.
- Terror sphere B isn’t overpowered per se, but it makes it unviable for a group of weaker characters to gang up on you, which in my opinion is one of the funnest parts of the arena.
- Terror claw can damage someone’s soul? You’ll have to define what effect that actually has. Also, I understand that you made the heart and lungs immune to it to prevent easy kills, but what about the brain? Or the spine for that matter.
- Iron maiden needs more explanation. Is it an actual iron maiden? Can he cast it on his enemies? If yes, does it just materialize around them or does it have to chase them?
- For summoning magic, please check out the summoning rules in the first post, so you know the restrictions. You’ll also have to give an accurate description of each summon’s abilities. The basilisk can’t petrify people through eye-contact, that’d be way overpowered.
- Conjure weapon: just add a line saying that he can’t conjure a weapon into someone’s body.
- Terror beast transformation: does it have a casting time, energy cost or time limit? Otherwise there’s no reason not to use it, and it nullifies his only major weakness.
- Mass manipulation needs a limit on how big he can get.
- Non consistent form needs an estimate on how fast those things can grow.
- You’ll need an estimate on the explosive power generated by things he detonates. You may also wanna state he can’t detonate people, though I’m sure you weren’t planning to.
- Possibly the most important part: you mention explicitly that he has other abilities that aren’t stated. That’s kind of a problem, as you could just pull whatever is needed to counter a certain situation out of your ass, which is referred to as Batmanning. It’s not that we don’t trust you not to be unreasonable, but we’d greatly prefer if you write down all his abilities and limit yourself to only those stated. Of course, slight deviations of existing abilities are fine.
Phew, I think that wall of text sums up most of the problems. It should also be said, he’s really damn powerful. Depending on the specifics I asked for, he may end up being above tier 7, which is currently off limits, meaning you’ll have to make a weaker version of him. I don’t know for sure though, cause as I said a lot of his abilities are still too vague to tell.
- There’s no physical strength or speed mentioned anywhere.
- “his saliva makes whoever he bites incapable of dying for short periods of time (max 8 minutes)” What? Mind explaining why that’s one of his powers and what purpose it serves? It seems counterproductive in a fight.
- I advise that you make him resistant but not immune to physical attacks. Some characters don’t have anything else. Sure, they can just choose not to fight you, but you wouldn’t want to limit your potential opponents too much do you?
- If his flesh is mud, what are his bones made of? Does he have any organs at all? If not, can he even die? There are few things that can damage mud to the point where it isn’t mud anymore.
- Terror gaze is very questionable. It’s pretty much an auto-hit unless the target somehow knows not to look into his eyes. If you change "may blind the caster" to "will blind the caster" and put a time limit on the hallucination as to when it wears off, it might be acceptable. Though you'll have to ask LeeRoy.
- Terror sphere B isn’t overpowered per se, but it makes it unviable for a group of weaker characters to gang up on you, which in my opinion is one of the funnest parts of the arena.
- Terror claw can damage someone’s soul? You’ll have to define what effect that actually has. Also, I understand that you made the heart and lungs immune to it to prevent easy kills, but what about the brain? Or the spine for that matter.
- Iron maiden needs more explanation. Is it an actual iron maiden? Can he cast it on his enemies? If yes, does it just materialize around them or does it have to chase them?
- For summoning magic, please check out the summoning rules in the first post, so you know the restrictions. You’ll also have to give an accurate description of each summon’s abilities. The basilisk can’t petrify people through eye-contact, that’d be way overpowered.
- Conjure weapon: just add a line saying that he can’t conjure a weapon into someone’s body.
- Terror beast transformation: does it have a casting time, energy cost or time limit? Otherwise there’s no reason not to use it, and it nullifies his only major weakness.
- Mass manipulation needs a limit on how big he can get.
- Non consistent form needs an estimate on how fast those things can grow.
- You’ll need an estimate on the explosive power generated by things he detonates. You may also wanna state he can’t detonate people, though I’m sure you weren’t planning to.
- Possibly the most important part: you mention explicitly that he has other abilities that aren’t stated. That’s kind of a problem, as you could just pull whatever is needed to counter a certain situation out of your ass, which is referred to as Batmanning. It’s not that we don’t trust you not to be unreasonable, but we’d greatly prefer if you write down all his abilities and limit yourself to only those stated. Of course, slight deviations of existing abilities are fine.
Phew, I think that wall of text sums up most of the problems. It should also be said, he’s really damn powerful. Depending on the specifics I asked for, he may end up being above tier 7, which is currently off limits, meaning you’ll have to make a weaker version of him. I don’t know for sure though, cause as I said a lot of his abilities are still too vague to tell.
You can post your CS here to be reviewed.
Less expansive CSs are fine, as long as the important information is there. We can't judge whether it is until we see it of course. LeeRoy is currently offline, but if you go ahead and post your cs in the thread i linked to i can give you an estimate of its viability right away. Don't worry, no one will judge you if it's insufficient.
Edit: Oh, i get now what you mean by dump. Can you post a link? I don't see it in your post history.
Edit2: Herp, it's in your signature. I'll have a quick look at it.
Less expansive CSs are fine, as long as the important information is there. We can't judge whether it is until we see it of course. LeeRoy is currently offline, but if you go ahead and post your cs in the thread i linked to i can give you an estimate of its viability right away. Don't worry, no one will judge you if it's insufficient.
Edit: Oh, i get now what you mean by dump. Can you post a link? I don't see it in your post history.
Edit2: Herp, it's in your signature. I'll have a quick look at it.
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