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    1. Lasrever 9 yrs ago

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Yeah, that's what I'm hoping! As for the questions:

Name: Normally just gets shortened to Las since it's easier to say.
Timezone: BST right now, (UTC +1:00), then GMT (UTC) whenever the clocks go back, which I think is in October.
Chat: I'd personally prefer one, seeing as I tend not to speak up in OOC on the guild much.
Interested!

Fair warning, I'm not too experienced with Shadowrun, but it seems like my kind of thing - I'll do some reading on stuff for myself and ask if I've got any major questions.
A Scream in the Night





Zoe | Angélique
Ernest | Brent | Emma | Lilianna | Kusari


Sept. 16, 2020 / / La Plata, Maryland / / ~22:30

Collab with @Lasrever @Riffus Maximus @banjoanjo @ERode @Diggerton @Kyrisse @Piercing Light







Sept.16, 2020. ~22:30


Zoe couldn't sleep. She'd had a lot to think about, since the fight, and had deliberately been avoiding most of the class as a result. After all, she was capable of so much more now, physically, and mentally she had no faith in her ability to keep things under control. So she'd stayed in, only venturing out of her room for food and fresh air on occasion. Thankfully enough, no-one much felt like approaching her either.

Her days had been consumed with training, exercise after exercise within the confines of her room. Boring, mind-numbing repetition and not exactly what anyone would call 'fun', but there was some comfort to be found in not thinking of much at all. More than would be found from hostile stares and fearful eyes that would accompany any kind of conversation. Something safe about the numbness that came with effort and the familiar burning in her muscles. At least her body was holding together, if not her mind.

But it was too late in the day for it now, and so her thoughts were beginning to wander. Wandering to places she'd rather not have seen them go. Turning to her classmates, for example. From what she could tell, most of them had returned from the hospital at this point.

They were all so vulnerable, sitting around here. Letting their guard down. It'd be pretty easy to just--

Not now, damn it.

Wouldn't even take a second, once she locked her hands around their throat.

I'm not about to do anything.

Hey, maybe she could reach someone through the walls. They wouldn't know what hit them. A sudden heart attack, maybe - Destroying a few veins might do that, right? She couldn't be blamed for a freak accident.

It's not me. This isn't me. I'm stronger than that.

Accident! Just like the rest of them, just like it always was. Sorry, sorry, sorry but never changing. How many 'accidents' before she just gave in already?

With a grimace of frustration, she tossed her pillow against the wall. Unsatisfying, didn't make her feel better. Sleep would be better, impossible to hurt someone then, but it'd be worse once she woke up. And then what, transport? She had no idea how she'd get through the journey without snapping.

At some point, she'd started pacing. Felt like shit, obviously. Knew what'd make her feel better, the way nothing else could. Even now it would be easy to lose herself to it. They didn't strictly need to die, might be more fun if they didn't, but even if they did: What was one more death at her hands?

"Stop it." Muttered under her breath. Felt like yelling, but then the others would hear, and she didn't want to deal with them right now. Lashing out, her fist leaving a slight dent in the plaster of the wall. Unlikely to disturb anyone. Good. If they came in, she was scared to think what she might do.

She hated thinking about this place, about herself. So she had to change it, had to find some way out. To escape.

Because thinking about it, the others were better off without her there, weren't they? They were a group, a team, a unit, and she was... What? Where did she fit in?

A monster when true to her nature. A rabid dog without a leash. It didn't seem to her like something that could be fixed, but more that there was some fundamentally difference between her and the rest of them. A divide she wasn't sure she could ever truly cross. By all rights, this should've changed things, this new situation where the world was against her and everyone else. Should have forced them to have some kind of bond.

But Zoe was realising she had no place here. That for all the hatred the world directed at them, her classmates had each other. That she was one of the things they were afraid of. Yeah, that was a special talent alright-- Surrounded by people with only each other to turn to, and she'd still ended up alone. Worse still, she couldn't try and change that, because it meant running the risk that she'd hurt them.

I already have.

And yet she'd told herself what, that they needed her?

Someone had to finish the fight. If she wasn't there, more would die. More she was supposed to keep alive.

Or she'd stay and it was only a matter of time before she was the one to kill them.

She didn't know.

Up until now, she thought she'd known. Right, right, right, it was always the same. She always knew what was going to happen, saw the danger while they played pretend. This time wouldn't be any different. Except it was. Because her warnings had been ignored, before, nothing more she could do to prevent events from unfolding. Watching from the sidelines no matter how she fought. But this time she could remove the danger, because she knew exactly what it was. Or who.

But if she wasn't here there was no-one to take the burden. They'd get themselves killed with talk of mercy and forgiveness. All that that sort of naivety had ever earned anyone was a knife in the back. Without her around, one of them would fall to their own dumbass ideals.

Either way, they'd end up getting hurt because of her. At least there was a chance they'd learn, though. In that moment, it seemed impossible to Zoe that she'd ever be better than this.

It was too much to consider. Tearing everything apart. No right answer, no way out. Why couldn't it just make sense?

Pain. That'd make it go away, it always did. Once it hurt enough, she wouldn't have to think about it anymore. It was an escape, if an unhealthy one. That was it. The things she'd done... It would be easy to make herself understand. The power was there, and with it the growing desire to torture and maim. No targets. She wouldn't hurt them. But she needed to hurt.

In the absence of other options, Zoe could think of no better target than herself.

She walked over to the chair, resting her hands on it for stability. Better to be strong, not to be distracted while she did this. It needed focus, she wanted to feel what she was doing or there wasn't any point to it. This could prove she was strong, prove her resolve, give her some semblance of certainty where she was slowly losing her grip. What she did to others, she had to be willing to endure. It was the only way to fix it.

Because she was strong.

The power resisted as she tried to activate it. She had to push, to fight for every inch of control. Seemed like there was some kind of safeguard to prevent what she was trying to do. That was almost funny, really - She could kill people without hesitating, tear them limb from limb, laugh while she tortured them, but apparently directing that at herself was too far. Pathetic. So pathetic.

Still she could feel the itch starting. White-hot needles, thousands upon thousands across the backs of her hands. The progress was agonisingly slow, but she found herself almost savouring it as the power fought her every step of the way. It was darkly fascinating to watch the flecks rising from her skin, to force her eyes open even as every instinct screamed to squeeze them shut and look away. Watch. See what she'd done to them.

She felt something stir at the back of her mind.

Blond hair, a sympathetic, kind smile. Always smiling at everyone, trying to make them at ease. People had always joked about them being polar opposites. Her brother in everything except blood.

He always came after her, didn't he? Always thought he could fix everything and make it right. But she knew it wouldn't work this time. Said so many times he owed her his life for looking after him.

Maybe it was time for her to collect on that debt.


Zoe noted the memory with dread, fearing where it would lead. Of course, the forums said something about this - the stigma rebelling when they tried to kill themselves. Not a stretch to imagine it did so for injury too. She didn't know how far this went-- But she could push past it. It didn't control her. She was in charge, not whatever DC bullshit was messing with her head.

The pain started then, unlike anything she'd felt before. Zoe hissed through her teeth as she tried to get her head around the sensation, before it broke into a bitter laugh. This was what she did to them, to her victims - though their nerves were probably destroyed a lot more quickly. Not her, not now. Deserved to feel this, didn't she? Embracing it, now, as she always did. Pain was always the same. A twisted version of the stigma's rush, now, but even before. It was good in its own way, though she wasn't sure quite how to describe it.

She'd had to get away. She didn't care about any of it, and neither did he. All she knew was that she couldn't think about anything else. Every time she looked at any of them, the urge had been overpowering. Hurt them, make them bleed, make them beg. The same was happening now.

Why couldn't he have just left her alone? And why was he still smiling like nothing was wrong? Why did he still act like it was okay?

So fucking childish.


She gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the terror that was creeping into her mind. It would go away if she just kept pushing. She could get rid of it, ignore it. Break herself down. If she destroyed herself, made sure there was nothing left, then she couldn't hurt anyone else. And she could do that. Needed more. More, and then it would all go away. It had to.

Or at least, she thought she could, until the effect came close to the important parts. Veins, tendons, arteries. The things that would cause serious damage, loss of function. Leave her bleeding out. Soon she'd have done enough to make it likely.

Crystal clear. There was a smile on her face a little too wide to be normal. Laughter, almost hysterical, ringing out as he approached. Tears, warm on her cheeks. Traitor-- She'd been betrayed, lied to, called in. All he'd had to do was leave her alone, let her be so she didn't have to deal with it anymore. But no, he just had to stick his nose in.

He'd pay for it.

No

It was horrifying, realising she felt like a spectator in her own mind. Zoe wasn't used to feeling helpless. The part of her that understood was screaming to stop, but her rational mind had been pushed aside. So long. She'd gone so long without hurting. Needed it, needed to stop the want, more than anything. Waiting to pounce. Even now, he approached, speaking calmly, and she gave him no warning.

Why would she ruin her chance?

Don't please no

So arrogant, to assume she needed his help, needed anyone's fucking help. But he always did, always pretended he could fix everything and make it right on his own. Always saw the best in people. Sickening, how wrong he was. Oh, he wanted to help her, that was why he did it. Why he told. Why he lied. Why he betrayed her. Oh, she might not have admitted it, but a part of her wanted to see him hurt too, stigma or not.

Stop it

For her own good, wasn't it? Always for her own good, like they knew what she needed. Like they knew anything about what she was. Like they understood what was for the best because they could see the truth, when they didn't see anything at all. They never saw anything. He didn't see, not yet, but he would. Black across her hands. She could cry and scream and sob, but she knew what she was doing. This was the truth of what she was.

Run you have to run I'm sorry it's not me--

She'd make him see it all.


Zoe didn't even realise she was making a noise, as something that was half a scream and half an enraged yell escaped from her mouth. The fear, the agony, everything just hit her. She thought she could have made it through but that wasn't even close to being true anymore. It was too much, the memories so overwhelmingly real - She enjoyed it, didn't she - Her resolve had completely shattered and she stumbled backwards. Had to get away, had to run--

And suddenly she was falling as everything went dark.






Zoe's gaze fixed on her hands as she recovered from the fall. Red with blood both fresh and dry, and who knew what else. Melted bone, maybe? Whatever scraps remained of the gravity-user's windpipe?

They weren't the only thing stained. There was blood on her clothes, the shorts that hadn't been covered in alloy. More dotting her skin here and there that she could only assume was Callan's. There was an odd sort of guilt at the back of her mind as she melted it away. Like maybe it would have been better that they saw her as what she was.

After all, she'd killed three people in the space of minutes. Tortured another in cold blood. Maimed a teammate for the sake of efficiency. To make things worse, she'd probably wake up within the next week and be smiling about it. Involuntary reaction or not, that didn't make her a good person. And given that she'd embraced that monstrous, horrific part of herself voluntarily... Even 'okay' seemed like one hell of a stretch.

But then, she wasn't in a position for self-pity. And while she cared about the others, she doubted anyone was dumb enough to consider her a friend, so there'd be nobody to lean on. A problem of her own making, of course. They didn't need to see how it was all affecting her. She wouldn't burden the others with her pain and she didn't need or want their pity. Better to just get moving.

"You don't need to be untouchable; You just need to act like it."

It hurt a little as she pulled her legs out from the rubble, standing shakily. It was a good feeling, pain. She liked it. It made everything make sense, felt right to her. Embraced it, the dull ache in her muscles and sting of tiny scrapes and scratches on her skin. As she raised her head, her expression twisted into a victorious grin, the moment of hopelessness seemingly abandoned.

Part of her wanted to go and help get everyone into the truck, but she hesitated. Did they even know what she'd done out there? Maybe, maybe not, they'd find out soon enough. Might not be worth the risk of approaching either way, and others seemed to already be helping.

It didn't feel right to stand by, but for now, she'd only tear away what little joy they might find in victory. Even if it rang hollow, the reasoning was sound. Last thing the others needed while they were hurting was her.

Bodies. Dead, lying around the battlefield. The kid was one of them, right? She wondered-- If it hadn't turned out the way it did, if she'd gotten there immediately, would it have changed anything? Because it could have, in her mind. Didn't take her long to finish most of their attackers off after arrival. Still, she couldn't claim to know what happened, or what would've happened.

Watching as Allison rushed over to the body, an old conversation sprung to mind. Words that maybe she shouldn't have said.

"Try not to get anyone killed while I'm gone! I'd hate to have to clean up after any of you."

And sure enough, two of them were gone. Savannah was dead, Aaron was... who knew where. There was a lot Zoe could say about the way she'd acted-- But there was no denying that she'd been right on the money. Part of her was just grateful that they'd only taken themselves out instead of having the others die for their mistakes. That was probably an ugly thing to think.

But it didn't surprise her.

She had no place in mourning these dead.

The microphone - She could always go to pick it up. Hardware, a vague hope that the people in charge could glean some information from it. Zoe knew it was a bit of a stretch, but she was holding out hope. The others didn't know about it, as far as she was aware, and she wasn't sure if Ernie would go and get it. She knew Christmas definitely wouldn't.

Being an 'X' meant any survivors were probably unlikely to bother her, and the journey wasn't a long one. She'd just make her way back to the point on her own. Better to spend as little time in the truck as possible, avoid the people who weren't fundamentally screwed up the way she was. Looking past the conflicting emotions that fogged her mind, it seemed to Zoe that there was some kind of undeniable truth to all this.

For all the last week's talk of cooperation, of unity, of trust... Kindness hadn't been the thing to win the fight. What saved them was ruthlessness and bloody determination. They didn't need Zoe to stand by them, they didn't need her as a friend. It was clear, then, that what they needed was the girl that thrived on pain, that would kill without hesitation. She'd been right. About everything. About Savannah, about the others, about the way the world worked.

So why did the idea make her feel so wrong?
And there's upgrade number five for Zoe! Added to the CS.






After finishing the call Zoe had kept on running, thankful for all the hours she'd spent in the gym instead of talking to people. Every second counted after all, and there were lives on the line. If ever there was a time to sprint, it was now.

As the yellow light came into view she slowed down, her expression twisting with frustration as she saw the others floating in its grasp. A dead body-- Savannah. She was pissed, but not surprised. She'd tried to bring the kid to her senses before, and been ignored. Always how it seemed to go, but that didn't make it the fun kind of 'told you so'.

Couldn't focus on it now, so she looked towards the light again. Telekinesis? Some sort of field? Either way, if she couldn't move she was screwed, and she had no chance of touching anyone without entering it. This close, and suddenly she was useless? Suddenly she'd just have to sit there and watch them die? She'd already been too late to save one.

Fuck that.

There had to be a way. There was always a way, always something she could do faster, a way to play smarter. Something better. She was tired of failing, of not being strong enough. Couldn't watch as they died, but couldn't throw her life away either. For all her power, she was limited. Her eyes landed on Callan, floating in the air in front of her, grappling with some sort of creature. So close, but without knowing how strong the effect was, there was nothing she could--

Something was crashing near her, close but at the same time separate. The ocean? Waves slamming into the base of a cliff. This place... It kept changing, shifting, and the fact unnerved her. Was she really back so soon?

How many times?

The sparks were colliding again, the same ones she'd seen earlier. The stars. She'd always liked the stars, though these weren't part of any constellation she knew. The place felt odd. She could sense things moving, knew that they were around her somehow, but how far they moved, how fast? There was nothing to gauge. Nothing was solid, nothing was certain, it was all measured through her understanding, and she didn't understand much.

I never did.

Things had changed, that much was certain. She had changed. Where she was, it had changed from before. No longer was she stood on the surface of the water. All of this, it was shifting around her, and she was floating somewhere in the middle. Unharmed. Protected. As she realised, the stars screamed louder. As her thoughts shifted, the waves crashed stronger.

More. Always more.

Of course, there was one more piece to the puzzle. A line of power, a silken thread that stretched through the chaos. Yet another drop, stained but still managing to shine, fell unavoidably towards her. This was what she needed, the strength to protect them from a world that hated their guts. Power.

Tear them all down.


It had only taken a second. That was all it ever took. These visions were getting almost familiar, and Zoe still couldn't decide how she felt about that. Her head felt the same this time, which was enough reassurance. Seemed like no new urges clouded her thoughts, so it was fine. Good, even.

Zoe stared at her hands for a second as she regained her bearings, made sure she was centred in the real world again. The visions made her stronger. Pushed past her limitations. Of course! Yeah, she could do this. There had to be a way to do this.

Without giving much thought to the risks involved, she took a few steps back and then started to run towards the field, diving in. There was a girl in the centre of it all. Black-haired, and according to Brent's earlier message, the one responsible for the field. That was who Zoe was aiming for.

Glancing towards the grappling subnaturals as she floated past a little too close for comfort, Zoe felt the power flowing through her, and reached. It was the same as it had been with the virus, but through air instead of flesh. The gargoyle wasn't quite in range, but her unfortunate classmate was. She let the virus spread into Callan, and through her, the creature she had a hold on. Its exterior may have been monstrous, but inside they were all human. Fragile. Easy to kill.

Hopefully the Arbiter wouldn't be too pissed at the damage to her arm; It had been the only way for Zoe's ability to spread to the gargoyle. Whatever range the vision had granted her wasn't a long one. Normally she would've had enough control to avoid affecting her teammate too badly in the first place, but circumstances meant there was a limit to how much Zoe could control the effect. The loss of gravity was disorienting to say the least, so she had enough trouble staying focused without battling her stigma on top of that. Hence Callan's predicament.

Still, the gargoyle would hopefully be worse affected, her ability targeting its brain. Even if it didn't kill the thing right away, she figured it wouldn't be functioning too well. It was almost disappointing; Scary looking thing like that, and they weren't even gonna be getting a proper fight out of it. Probably a good thing though. It minimised the risk overall, and bolstered Zoe's own confidence.

I can do this.

Zoe knew she was stronger than these people. These people who'd had the nerve to attack them, the arrogance to think they could even dare to try. Wrong, obviously, a fact only emphasised as she caught sight of a bloody mess rising through the corner of her eye. No, Zoe wasn't afraid of them. In fact, as she watched the ice disappear from the ground, the redhead felt oddly composed. Survival of the fittest, after all.

For now, she kept her gaze on the gravity wielder, who was making one hell of a noise where she lay on the concrete. Hopefully Zoe could get a hand on her while her teammates were distracted by the ice-maker being torn apart. It would only take a second to rip the other aberration's head from her shoulders if she was able to make contact.






Well, shit. Talk about fireworks.

Zoe's eyes widened as the laser shot through the sky, annihilating the helicopter way too easily for comfort. That wasn't exactly a confidence booster, although their classmates could hopefully take the hit. They were tough, but tough or not, that hadn't exactly looked good. She couldn't help the slight thrill that she felt in the back of her mind as she saw the destruction, the pieces falling to the ground. Were they alive? Much as she wanted to know, she couldn't worry about it, just had to keep going and focus on her own team.

Her expression remained neutral, looking away and out of the window as she tried to think things through. Better that she didn't seem anxious, she wasn't meant to be the one freaking out here. Somehow, she had a feeling that she'd have to hold it together for the healer's sake if nothing else. Of course she was worried for everyone -- Honestly, a huge part of her wanted to go out and try to help, dumb as the idea was -- but she had to stay here and look after these two.

So instead Zoe forced a grin as she turned towards the others, feigning confidence. The reaction was less out of actual callousness and more in an effort to piss Ernie and Christmas off in case the sight had gotten to them. If they were angry at her for being a heartless bitch, then that meant they weren't freaking out about the magical death lasers, which seemed like a good trade as far as she was concerned. Anger could be useful, panic not so much.

Luckily enough, it wasn't long before Callan's voice could be heard confirming that the two strikers were, in fact, alive. That was a relief, at least, allowing Zoe to relax a little. See, she'd known it'd be fine - Or told herself that, at least. As for her own team, with the knowledge that no-one needed immediate help, there wasn't much for the three in the building to be doing until someone else took action. Frowning, Zoe glanced out at the surrounding area one last time. Certainly didn't seem to be anything requiring their attention.

Still, with everyone on edge, she didn't want to spend too long around the other two with nothing happening. Even if it felt oddly restrained, the urge was definitely there after seeing the battle's beginning. She could deal with it well enough, sated as her Stigma was, but she needed to stay focused and if nothing else, it was a distraction from her job.

"Tell me if anything important happens."

Speaking abruptly, she turned away from the window and walked out of the room. It didn't sit right with her to be standing around doing nothing anyway, so it seemed like a good idea to start searching the rest of the house while they waited. Maybe there'd be something useful in here somewhere.
@January @Riffus Maximus Crap, I've been found out. Now I have to change my identity and flee to Switzerland. Again.

Also I did get checked out properly, CT scan and everything, so I'm definitely okay. Just banned from running/sports/headbutting doomsday devices for 2 weeks. Maybe I'll actually talk in the chat more or something crazy like that in the meantime.

Seriously though, thanks guys. That's actually really cool of you. I'll still be a bit slow for a while, but I'm mostly back to normal now and that made me smile a bit <3
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