The sunlight coming in from the window slowly made its way into the thin crack's of Link's eyelids, gradually stirring him back to consciousness. His head was pounding and his mouth was dry and tacky. As his eyes began to open, he found himself staring at a ceiling fan he didn't recognize. Out of the four blades that were supposed to be there, it appeared as though there were only two blades left intact while the others appeared to have broken off.
Odd.His blurred vision began to sharpen. He turned to his side and beheld a sleeping woman in her birthday suit who probably looked more attractive when there was less light about. Link cocked his head a little in a sort of shrug.
Whatever, he thought.
A good time is a good time. He just wished he could remember it.
The more he came awake, the harder his head seemed to throb. Link forced himself to sit up in the bed he was in to try and get his wits back. As he did, he noticed a small thing wrapped in green and red nestled toward the foot of the bed.
...the fuck is that? Before he had a chance to investigate, his peripheral vision caught the shape of something else at his side. As he turned, he took in the vision of a very rotund woman adorned in a tight leather outfit that screamed dominance. It looked absolutely brutal to sleep in, and yet here she was, passed out, snoozing like a baby. Link paused for a moment to admire the craftsmanship of the getup. The fact that it still held its integrity against the woman's overabundance of thickness was damn near miraculous.
Wild.His attention quickly fell back on the slowly pulsating pile of red and green cloth at the foot of the bed. He leaned forward and held out his hand, pointing all of his fingers in its direction. There was only one finger that stood above the rest, however. With a symphony of small cracks and pops, his middle finger began to grow and stretch like an elastic tendril as it found its way to its target. With a small flick, Link twisted the pile, flipping it over to reveal yet another surprise. It wasn't a pile of cloth at all but, rather, a middle aged little person dressed in an elf costume with an abnormal amount of drool covering his chin.
No friggin way... he thought as he took it all in.
His finger quickly retracted to its normal size and that's when the smell started to hit him. Odorous, rotten... fishy? Link sniffed the air, trying to track the scent. It was close... very close. He looked at the bed sheets, trying to find the source of offense, but there wasn't anything left. He began to scratch his head, perplexed. That's when the odor got stronger... The slow realization of horror began to paint itself upon Link's face as his eyes wandered to his hand. Hesitantly, begrudgingly, he brought the tips of his fingers to his nostrils...
"Oh god!" The words shrilly escaped his lips as he tried to maintain control over his gag reflex. Almost immediately, Link rolled over off the bed, trying to avoid waking up any of his new, unconscious friends. As he stood there, buck naked, he could see he was definitely in a hotel room - a cheap one at that - and whatever they got into last night was definitely rowdy. There were broken bottles on the floor, discarded clothing in every corner of the room and what appeared to be a big red velvet sack filled with something that sat upon the chest of drawers.
Link tried to ignore it all and scurry to the bathroom, trying to watch every step as to not cut his feet on any glass. He stepped inside, shut the door, and switched on the florescent lights that emitted a bothersome humming sound. His hands quickly found their way to the faucet as he turned the water on full blast and tried fervently to wash them clean. As he did so, he heard the... the sound of...
Was that a sad duck?He glanced over toward the bathtub. Lying there, dressed only in red velvet pants, was an unconscious old burly man with a beard as white as snow.
You've got to be fuggin kidding me. That's when the smell of raw eggs hit him like a freight train. Link could no longer breathe. That sound from before was no fucking duck!
He burst out of the bathroom, slamming the door as it opened, no longer giving a damn if he would stir the others. He frantically grabbed the askew articles of his clothing and clumsily began to dress himself as he made his way toward the exit door. He couldn't remember anything from last night and, at this point, he wasn't sure he even wanted to.
Finally clothed and in the safety of the parking lot, he scanned the vehicles and quickly found his own. He reached into his jean pockets to retrieve his keys. Just as he did, his cell phone began chiming. He pulled both items out and looked at the screen. "Meeting at CHAMP HQ" was all the screen said, along with an option to Snooze the alarm. He had nearly forgotten. This was his chance to land a real job, be an upstanding citizen, be respected in the community. He looked at the time in the corner of the screen. He still had plenty. He stuffed the cell phone back into his pocket, jumped into his car and started the ignition. It was time to head to the CHAMP HQ. But first, he would have to stop for a little hair of the dog. His head was killing him.
KNOCK, KNOCKLink stood outside the apartment door, a half emptied flask in hand. This was not the sort of HQ he was expecting. It sort of made sense, though. Only an operation like this would be interested in the likes of him. He didn't care. This was fine. A first step. Everyone's gotta start somewhere. He took another quick swig before shoving the flask in his back pocket. He heard movement on the other side of the threshold. Slowly, he took a deep breath and waited with anticipation for the door to open.
Vampiretwilight
