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    1. Lev 9 yrs ago

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@Lev Indeed there's something missing from your CS, best bet would be to go through the rules again.


Since you couldn't just TELL ME what I was missing, I found that the only thing my CS didn't have was was a "notes" section.. I added one and filled in unnecessary information.

May I proceed..
@Lev Looking good, anticipating accepting it when it's completed.


I figured it was completed. Is there anything else I'm missing?
My CS has been updated with a writing sample.
W.I.P

I just wanted to get the idea down before someone took the power/ability. But if any edits are needed before I finish just let me know.

Name: Cassandra Ashbov

Nicknames: Cass

Alias: The Voice

ABILITIES: Clairvoyance & Mind Manipulation

Phase 1
(Mind reading): Cassandra's first taste of power will include the ability to actively perceive/hear the thoughts of those around her.

Limitation: At first, when thoughts present themselves to her she will not be able discern one from the other. They'll bombard her mind like mingling voices in a crowd until she is able to concentrate on the specific voice she wishes to hear.

Weakness: The dull roar can be enough to disorient her. It can even effect her vision if there are enough people around, much like excess light would trigger a migraine.

Phase 2 (Telepathic Communication): Once Cassandra is able to isolate the specific thoughts of others, she will be able to innitiate mental conversation. At first, brief, then lengthier with practice.

Limitation: This type of mental invasion requires varying levels of strength. Example; a trusted friend would be more willing/open to telepathic communication than a complete stranger. At this stage it will also be impossible to communicate with a moving target.

Weakness: Strength required is draining and is useless on the move. Similar, but heightened, versions of Phase 1 weaknesses.

Phase 3(Mind Manipulation/ Minimal Clairvoyance): The final set of earned powers will include the ability to control others via mind manipulation, and brief glimpses into the 'future'. I feel that the terms I'm using must be specifically defined. Mind manipulation, for Cassandra, means having the ability to 'sway' another's thoughts. Example; a target would not become zombie-like, under Cassandra's control. He/she would willingly change their course of action after she manipulated the thought that initiated it. Furthermore, for clairvoyance; Cassandra cannot see into a definite future. Her vision of oncoming events is limited to the target's knowledge of said event.

Limitations: At this time mind manipulation can only be performed on a single, unmoving target. Cassandra herself must also be stationary to perform this task. Same goes for clairvoyance. As mentioned before, visions of the future are limited to target's knowledge and involvement in said future. Extreme will power is needed to perform both actions, requiring Cassandra to overcome the mental strength of her target.

Weakness: Paranoia, as well as other mental blocks a target may experience, can be major obstacles. Extremely draining. Cool-down time is needed for recovery. Personal morals and restrictions also prevent Cassandra from using this technique unless absolutely necessary.

Final Phase: Complete mastery of previously mentioned techniques. Of course, similar limitations still apply.

Writing Sample:

Oh, I would totally love to go to the ridiculously unintelligent movie with you, the blonde girl would chirp, her hair moving just-so with the wind, brushing itself behind her perfect willowy shoulder.

Cool. I can't wait to bring my guitar and act like a musician while I play the same two chords from Horse With No Name. I'm original, I swear. Your boobs look great, the shaggy boy would respond with hair hanging over his eyes, but not bothering to change it.

"Cass.. Cassandra," a familiar voice called out. It took a moment for her eyes to break from the auto-pilot of daydreaming, but she eventually turned.

"Hello, Fay."

"Creating conversations in your head again?" The brown-haired girl asked, gesturing toward the couple flirting flamboyantly under a tree at the other end of the park.

"I'd like to think they're pretty accurate," Cassandra replied curtly.

"If you wanted to talk to him, you should've done it before she got there," Fay said with a mischievous smile.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Cassandra said, sounding bored and annoyed but keeping her blue eyes fixed lazily on the couple. Fay chuckled under her breath.

The two friends sat together on the picnic bench under the humid warmth of a typical New Lilith afternoon. Their silence was filled with a learned understanding and mutual love that others wouldn't understand. Cassandra preferred to keep it that way. She had Fay, who accepted her blunt sarcasm and anti-social hardness... that was all she needed in the world.

Or so she thought.

NOTES:
19 yrs, 10 months
Starting sophmore in college
Are character sheets still being accepted?
Okay, my post is shit. Pardon my language. If it's not satisfactory just let me know and I'll more than likely ask that it be deleted...

I stared at my computer screen for so long that I finally conceded to writer's block, and a headache. Ugh
AUDREY

”Nothing…Just checking that you were okay.”

Likely story, Audrey thought narrow-mindedly. Father told her about people from Beta, people like her and the lower district rabble. They were addicted to their drugs and their situation, he would say. She didn’t want to admit that her father’s stereotypical portrayal was correct. As an economics student, interested and genuinely concerned with the financial recovery of the lower districts, she wanted to believe that Beta’s were prey to their environment – not the predators.

”I can show you out and help you hail a ride if you like,”the matted girl offered from a distance Audrey didn’t realize she created. “If not, I’ll clear off.”

The wooden floorboard creaked under Audrey’s shifting weight. Any suspicion quickly fizzled away in the presence of Vander’s generosity. She felt a sickness creep inside of her, tasting its sour tang on her tongue – if that was possible. It suddenly felt like a rude and embarrassing reaction, and Audrey was glad that Vander’s gaze was averted. More bodies filtered into the murky backdrop of the bar without care for the conversation on the stairs. Their applause boomed near the caged arena and carried over the constant hum of boisterous conversation. The previous slaughter, only minutes old, hadn’t fazed The Spit’s patrons even slightly.

“What kind of awful place is this? That man – he’s butchering people like meat! Why don’t you stop him?” The girl asked with a misplaced accusatory tone.
@Darkmatter

Sweet! I hoped to have Audrey stranded in Beta for the night, so maybe sometime within that nightmare :)
Revenge, huh? You make it sound like Deon did something to her personally :D Wait... -looks at Deon- Did you?
Deon: -shrugs nonchalantly- hell if I know!

But anyway, that works out. If she's willing to do that, Deon won't have much of a choice with no one there to fight. Let's roll with that then.


EDIT: Because my stupid morming brain missed an entire page of comversation.. Ugh.

I agree and think the simplest way to draw this fight is character interaction. Let someone else end it, ya know?

I've been planning to have Audrey knee-deep in Beta interaction since the beginning. I actually thought that she'd turn to Vander first who would obviously be unable/unwilling to help stop the fight. Unsatisfied with that I figured she'd turn to the next closest thing - the drug dealer (unknown to her) at the bar.

After that she could enter the ring herself - like an idiotic, naive Alpha would (maybe thinking she has pull, maybe something else entitled-like) and verbally coax them out of the cage. Maybe she noticed Kat and threatened to reoport them with her weight as an Alpha? Something like that.

Of course, I might be too late for this. If so, ignore meeee

@Darkmatter
Definitely want Audrey to meet Wikus. Lol
I would say, "Hey! Let my character help!" She's kind of useless in this arena, though (puns). She is going to wonder why nobody stops the madness, but the best she could be is a pitiful distraction.

Unless you like that kind of thing.. I know that neither of your personas would accept defeat before death. So if I can help let me know
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