I'd washed up, rinsed off, and let the hot water beat down on my back. I was thinking. I was thinking of how this camp was sending us all to die. Straight to the front lines with no warning or preparation. They'd even given us our last meal . Everyone's mental state was going to slowly start deteriorating because of this information and no one would be in their right mind to fight when the time came. This would make things all too easy for the Jaxlors.
I began to think of the soldiers that would arrive at my door with a flag and a letter, explaining to my parents that one of their children had died "An Honorable Death" in combat. How when they first arrived at our door, my parents wouldn't know if it was Violet or me. This had all happened before, except they didn't have to figure out who'd died. They knew it was my brother. My parents were going to lose another child and that crushed me. If Violet was to die soon after me, they wouldn't be parents anymore. They would have no legacy to live on after they passed. They would be the parents of dead children who barely got to live to see adulthood.
I took a deep breath and tried not to cry. But I ended up choking on my tears. I covered my mouth and sobbed into my hands as quietly as I could. I didn't want anyone to hear me. What would happen to my sister? Violet was going to go from being the second child born, to the only child. She would officially be alone if she survived the war. My thoughts where everywhere. How would I die? Would it be quick or would they capture me and torture me. Would I even make it to the front lines? Every thought that traveled through my mind began to make me cry harder and harder until there were little to no more tears to shed.