lif

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

@LokiLeo789

Thanks for the understanding, man, I guess the child sacrifice issue was my own personal grievances. I would appreciate seeing less of that, if that's okay with you.

If you want to improve your writing technically, you could start by looking for synonyms to words you were thinking about using, and analyzing how a writer, well, writes when you read a book/story. You learn a lot that way.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

@poog the pig LOL. That's prolly the first time I've ever seen that. How many 1x1's are you in xD

@Vec

None, man. I just let all my alerts stack up, I like keeping score.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

@poog the pig It's ok xD No one's perfect in their writing really. It's one reason why I don't ask for critiques xD I accept them when they come, but I don't go looking for them. Because people would realise I suck at writing xD

@Vec

Alrighty man, glad we resolved this.

I just got back from a long road trip, so I was a little tired when I hopped into that.

EDIT:
Hail Satan.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

@Vec

I see your point. My apologies.

I guess I was a little blunt and hasty with my critique, sorry.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

<Snipped quote by poog the pig>

I would never!

I'm merely a trope supremacist! I simply go for the best tropes, and as many of them as I can cram into one post. *mumbles about how you're implying my edgy tropes are too much*

In an actual seriousness that I lacked before, I'd challenge your logic. From what I gather you just think the child sacrifice had no narrative value and was only in there for 'edginess', but one could say the same for Lifprasil being androgynous, Belvast being a cat, and Bjorn existing in the first place.

Sometimes you just gotta be whimsical to bring something random and different, y'know? Unless it's constant and recurring I don't find myself annoyed with edginess.

@Cyclone

Lifprasil being androgynous is supposed to be representative of his stance on neutrality.



You sure about that whimsical statement?

EDIT: I'm honestly not really bothered by it anymore, but Loki wanted critique, and a key point in writing an effective story is making sure you don't write in things that don't have any place in the story. @Vec @Cyclone

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

<Snipped quote by poog the pig>

Edgier = better-ier
We're all a bunch of edgelord hipsters here!

...

...

Hider

kappa

Randomly reminds me of a dumb joke this guy form middle school once told me: Why did the hipster get burnt? Because he drank coffee before it was cool!

@Cyclone

Eh. I literally had a conversation with Termi two weeks ago about the same subject.

There's a point, I feel, where you may start pushing it a little too far, and for no apparent advancement of the plot.

Eh. Whatevs.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

Hey guys, this most recent IC post is kinda of new to me. I'm trying to switch up the way I write abit. Instead of having Amartía be he focuse all the time, I'm trying to use others to convey feelings and sights that Amartía can't.

I think it worked well. I left alot to the imagination, but if anyone is confused to what happened; Amartía basically found Occult Magic to be extremely interesting and desides to experiment by attacking the Village and rounding up its occupants. Then he has a Priest preform a ritual and kill each an every one of them. Amartía creates stone golems in which he binds thier souls to. Basically turning them into stone marionettes.

Would like some feedback, anythung that would help me grow.

@LokiLeo789

It's okay. I don't really like the style, it reminds me of Young Adult Novels.

And I hate young adult novels.

On another note, what was the point of the child sacrifice within the post? Was it supposed to parallel the main character? Because to be frank, I find the concept extremely edgy in practice.

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

[Obsolete post.]

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

@LokiLeo789

As long as you acknowledge your mistakes, it's all good, man. Just take Kho's advice to heart, and everything'll be great.

The Cosmic Knights were initially inspired by the Tenno from Warframe, but now they've turned into horrifying engines of war that will scare any Realta. Self aware or not.

@Antarctic Termite

>Halo
I sort of got Engineer vibes from the Sweethearts

Mid/High Casual - Divinus: The Deity Roleplay Mk.II

To come clean with you guys, the name Lifprasil is actually from Nordic folklore. ;-;

Please, forgive me.