LloydTurquoise — Roleplayer Guild

Radobyl, Muromets Valley, Vohemia



Josef Vin Sapazech, a Captain in the tenth regiment of horse, was searching a brothel for a priest.

Specifically, it was the Pontiff of Vohemia. As a boy, he'd seen the cleric give sweeping sermons in his native Bystre. To see such a man's arse, red and raw from the attentions of two prostitutes, as he snored in a rickety bed. It was unnerving and also hilarious to Josef and his search party of uhlans.
The house madam had shooed the two ladies of supposed pleasure out of the cunningly decorated room. Heavy linen sheets of burgundy were hung up like curtains to hide the timber frames and pale walls.

Josef glanced to the other Uhlans, who were either shocked or holding back laughter. He'd charged the hill forts of heathen mountain clans in snowstorms, but Josef discovered that waking a hungover, naked priest was another foe altogether.

With his boots creaking the boards beneath his feet, Josef leaned over the Pontiff at a safe distance.
"Your holiness?" Josef said firmly, with barely a rumble or a flinch from the cleric.
"Your holiness? Wake up" Josef louder, noticing the balding head of the man rise up from above the pillow.

"...Leave me be...can't you see I am plagued by the demons of liquor" The clergyman said with exasperation and his once powerful voice.
"I can't do that your holiness, The king dispatched me to collect and bring you to his highness" Josef told the Pontiff, quickly pulling up the blanket with a bumbling hand to cover himself.
"Just a few more moments of sleep my dear boy" The priest continued before arching his mouth in a great big yawn. Resting on his back, the pontiff's fat stomach curved with the dark blanket like a bulbous hill covered in a dark forest.

Josef grabbed just some of the Pontiff's vestments on the floor and dropped them on the clergyman's face.
"The king particularly said that if you were to refuse, we were to dangle you from the Svatlava bridge as we crossed to the fortress" Josef told the priest, who grumbled as he rubbed his eyes of sleep and rose finally.

"Out! while I prepare myself!" The Pontiff bellowed across the room, with the Uhlans quickly retreating back through the doorway. 

===+===

The claps and clops of the horseshoes on the cobblestone followed the Uhlans and the Pontiff from through the city and over the Svatlava bridge, finally coming to a halt as they started passing under the daunting gateway into the fortress proper. Josef spotted in the courtyard at the other end of the gateway as man sitting in a chair surrounded by his retinue.

Despite the light and dismal rain, Josef could still make out the dark and sharp plates and teeth of obsidian that made the man's crown.

The Pontiff had composed himself, though still looked dishevelled. Josef had to dab and scrub the vomit stain off the shoulder of his cloak when the clergyman's stomach disagreed with the help mounting a horse.

The figure rose from his seat and waked with purpose as the Pontiff dismounted from the horse and bowed humbly.
"Your Highness" The Pontiff's voice had gathered it's usual composure 

"Your breath his disgusting your holiness" King Zikmund wrinkled his nose. Josef dismounted from his horse and led his mount by the reins to the powerful duo.
"While you were out on your binge, an election has been called for the High Pontiff" A letter, already opened, sat on a cushion held by a nearby servant. The king grabbed the letter with his pale hand and slapped it into the Pontiff's nervous hand.

"You're to head to Aldmeria and participate. You're going to take a bath, put on your best clothes and get on the carriage I'm preparing for you" Zikmund waved his finger at the pontiff like he was talking to a misbehaving child.
"You'll be accompanied by some uhlans, who will make sure you don't make any of your 'quick stops' on the way... and you so much as let one drop of beer or liquor or wine pass your lips, I will petition you be stripped of your position and send you to live in hermitage like Saint fucking Rostlov! Do you understand?"

Josef could hear the king's words echo off of the tall stone walls and slate roofs around the courtyard.

"Now go" King Zikmund's voice had lowered and the Pontiff took his wounded pride with him as he stepped around the king to attending clergymen.
Josef let a brief wave of fear drift across his mind as the King's attention was turned to him, as the monarch rubbed his eyes in stress.

"Where did you find him?" Zikmund asked with a tone surprisingly calmer.
"In a brothel near the east gate your majesty" Josef said without looking the king in the eye. The king had changed his eye patch from the usual leather one to a dark one made of linen.
"He's got some standards then?" Zikmund said with a quicker pace of words. The monarch waved for the uhlan to walk with him, with the horse's head hung low as they walked on. Josef noticed various officials and hangers-on trailing them as they made their way towards the stables.

"I think you'll like to see the latest addition in the main corridor of the west keep Josef" King Zikmund told the captain.
"How so your majesty?" Josef was puzzled.
"Provka found 'Return to Sweeter Shores' in the tunnels beneath one of the towers" Josef was surprised at this. Return to Sweeter Shores was a rather recent painting by some artist in Bystre. What was more important was that it featured the Josef's grandfather and his compatriots return to Vohemia, after their diaspora from their forfeit holdings in Rehabe.

"I'm honoured your majesty" Josef gave a polite bow of his head.
"Good, because you're going to show your gratitude by joining the delegation heading to Rehabe" King Zikmund said it so matter of fact,that Josef was surprised he'd received the honour at all.

"Of course my lord" Josef tried to hide his contempt behind his firm features. 
"Also, you're going to watch over Stepan as he's going too" Zikmund told the uhlan as they entered under a stone arch and the straw strewn floor of the stables cushioned their footwear.

"If I may, your majesty, is that really wise?" Josef found the prospect of questioning Zikmund of all people worrying. However, the heir apparent was a risk worth taking.
"When I was his age, I'd already joined my father on campaign in the driving the mountain clans back up the slopes. Stepan needs to stop listening to old men and get out there" King Zikmund was trying to get his son to grow up as quickly as possible.
"Plus, I plan on having him betrothed to a Reheban princess and nothing will affirm his commitment as seeing a pair of tits" Zikmund whipped a smile across his face before patting Josef on the shoulder.

"You're leaving for port soon, before Stepan's mother finds out preferably" Zikmund shouted as he walked back out of the stables, assuming Josef would accept the assignment. Josef would go though, King Zikmund knew he wouldn't pass up the chance to return to the land his ancestors claimed.

@TommyToledo Your NS is really good! I got a few points though. Firstly in military,  you have to give a number of troops in the categories and also you have to give a percentage to the ranged/melee infantry and the fast/armoured vehicles sections. 

Also another issue, which is totally my fault is the unique units. A unique unit must be chosen from the perks list. If you don't pick a perk with a unique unit attached, then you don't get any unique units. 
However I have decided to review this and change so that people can pick Two perks. In your case, my suggestion is that you keep your Arsenal perk but also choose one of your unique units to keep as your second perk. Be aware though that whichever perk you pick, I will add to the perk list, so anyone else who wants the same perk can get it too.

Apart from that, very well done.

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