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@Mortarion.
Khosin rose from his bed at approximately 2 hours after the Borealis had left Virmire's atmosphere. He winced slightly as the assortment of small wounds, none were lethal in their own right -not even in their current number- and served more as an annoyance than anything else, that he had gathered during the mission. Looking down, he nodded in satisfaction when none of the bandages that he had applied were stained red with his blood "Good, good." He muttered quietly, redressing himself he quickly left the cramped space that was his room aboard the Borealis.
Shortly after he had left his room he made a beeline towards the ship's eezo core, performing a few low-key maintenance to it along with quite a few scans to make sure everything was alright with the old piece of machinery. Once he was satisfied with his work he made his way towards the kitchen in the common area, kneeling down in front of the fridge as he began rummaging for a drink but stopped when he heard the sound of nearby footsteps. He tensed slightly, more out of instinct than any mistrust towards whoever was approaching him, but relaxed after a few seconds "Can I get you anything?" He asked out of courtesy as he continued looking inside the fridge, pulling a bottle of the ale he had brought and putting it on the nearby table while waiting for a reply.
Dex entered the kitchen free of her armour, dressed down to her casual clothes a black tanktop and blue pants. Her prosthetic arm in full view, the shot her arm took earlier was a visible mark but it was no worse for wear. She saw Khosin, hands in the fridge grabbing refreshments. "
Actually yeah, can you throw me that bottle of water?"
He tossed her the water and she cracked it open taking a few sips. "
Thanks." The turian took a seat on the springy couches stretching out her long legs across the cushions, lounging.
"
So Khosin, wanted to thank you for putting up with me today. I know I'm not the easiest to work with. I'm used to working infiltration on my own with no one else to worry about." She said sincerely, offering up an exhausted smile.
Sipping her water again.
Grabbing his bottle of ale, the batarian took a seat on one of the free couches adjacent to the one that Dex had taken for herself "No problem, sure you don't want me to get you anything stronger? Pretty sure there are a couple of dextro drinks." He offered to her, cracking open the bottle fo batarian ale and taking a sip of the alcoholic beverage.
He relaxed on the couch as he felt the burning sensation of the alcohol going down as he drank it, but was pulled out of his self-absorbed state when he heard Dex speaking to him. He listened attentively to what his turian comrade told him, shifting the bottle from one hand to the other as she spoke "Hey, no worries, that's what teammates are for." He said, offering her a smile "Plus, I should be the one thanking you, after all you helped me evade those smugglers who were chasing me." He pointed out to Dex, still smiling a little as he took another sip of his ale "Plus, the mission was successful in the end." He said with a shrug "So, cheers to that." He said, raising up his bottle in the turian's direction in an impromptu toast as he let out a soft chuckle.
She lifted her bottle up to toast. "
Have at it, Khosin. I am way too exhausted to start drinking." Contemplating the difference in success he must of seen. After what she heard what happened to the observation team from Haze and Iosif, it was enough to kill any buzz. "
Wish I shared the sentiment. The failures today seem to outweigh whatever we accomplished. Sure we got a truck and a shuttle from the arrangement, for a severely injured Serena and Drono. Lost Kasy, weird tension sprung up between Vellios and Tanya." Pressing the water bottle to her face plates. "
Knowing Vellios he's probably got it out for Haze now with what happened to Serena."
She groaned, "
The night I need to unwind and both of my options are wrapped up in their own shit." She pushed herself up to sit, finding the couch rather uncomfortable. "
Ahh, sorry Khosin. I'm rotten company to keep when I am equal parts exhausted and pessimistic. All in all, the vehicles are a huge deal."
Khosin snorted unintentionally when Dex said that the failures of the day seemed to outweigh whatever accomplishments they had made "Sorry, didn't meant anything by that...I was just thinking what my old CO back in the BIF would say about that." Said Khosin, taking another sip of his ale before clutching the bottle more tightly "Yeah, this reminds me of a story....back when I Was still with the Hegemony's military." He said, his voice barely rising above a whisper but he was sure that Dex'd be able to hear him.
Dex sat forward elbows on her knees. Levelling her gaze at him, his tone gave away more than his expression. Four eyes focusing on the bottle and disappearing into the memory.
"It was a joint operation with the Special Intervention Unit, we were to crush some uprising....a group made of some revolutionary groups and runaway slave in a planet much like Virmire." He continued talking, taking another sip of his ale as his mouth suddenly felt all too dry "We were entering this little shanty town....everything seemed to be going fine and then, suddenly, an explosion and the next thing I know the unit's commander is dead, turned to red goop." He said, pausing for a second to take a long sip off of the bottle. "Won't bore you with the details, but we ended up crushing the group....at the cost of most of my unit, me and only one other soldier survived that shit show and what does the CO tells us once we are back? Huh, c'mon, guess." Spat Khosin, venom in his voice as he clutched the bottle in his hand, his biotic field briefly flaring before he calmed down after a deep breath.
"The fucker said 'Excellent job, you are both to be commended for your action.'" Khosin pantomimed his old CO, patting Dex's shoulder to further complete the act. "13 out of 15 men dead, and we get told that our mission was a success, so my standards might be a bit low." He chuckled acidly, finishing off the bottle of ale and heading to the fridge once more and fishing out a second bottle.
Dex twitched at the apparent anger and when he patted her shoulder. Watching him go back to the fridge. "
That's terrible. That commander is fucked up, I'm sorry you got dealt a shitty order." Watching him the tension screwed up in the Batarian's back. Dex squinted, a little putt off by his sudden sharing.
The batarian was quiet for what seemed like an eternity in his mind, although probably it had been at most a minute, taking frequent sips of his bottle "Now....if we are talking about bad missions..." He said, his voice quivering slightly as his shoulders slumped down. When he raised his face to look at Dex, there was a haunted look in each of his eyes "Nothing will ever top Mindoir....nothing...." He said, his voice quivering once more, before almost downing the second bottle in one gulp, Khosin's entire body now shivering as old memories came rushing back to him.
Dex's eyes flashed, she jumped up and shoved her hand against his mouth knocking the bottle from his hand. She hissed, "
Shut the fuck up! Are you insane?"
"
Do you want to be thrown out the fucking airlock? You know how well the humans, let alone the others will take that little fact? Mindoir was a fucking tragedy! What the fuck possessed you to admit that?" She snarled checking both entrances to the common area. "
Spirits!"
Dex pushed away from him, stepping up to the far exit looking out the door for anyone. She stomped over to the other side and looked around for anyone. Her talons clenched and she paced the kitchen. Angry, that she was willing to stick up for him if things came from push to shove. Infuriated now that he stuck her with this secret.
When Dex shoved her hand against his mouth Khosin had to fight back the reflex to bite down as hard as he could. When she let go he listened in silence as she rambled, before letting out a bitter chuckle afterwards "Perhaps I do wanna be thrown out of the fucking airlock....or better yet, why I don't go back to my room and pick up one of the gun's there and shoot myself....I think the Kishock would be perfect don't you think?" He said, a feverish look on his eyes as he began to pace around the room like a caged animal.
Her jaw was set in a hardline, staring. Angry but terrified anyone else could walk through the doors and right in on this awful conversation. Dex had run into, spied on, and worked with soldiers dealing with heavy trauma and PTSD. The horrors of war and frontline fighting sticks with you. Hell, regular psyche evaluations were mandatory during her time in with the Hierarchy. Clearly mental health wasn't a priority for the batarians and the Hegemony.
"Because, of course, Mindoir was a tragedy, you think I need someone to tell me that....but have you ever considered that it might have scarred more than a few of the insane fuckers like me that were part of that fucking mess." He said, his biotic aura flaring up again, "You don't think I have nightmares? By the Pillars, I am a monster....I know that well enough without you having to tell me...." He said, collapsing onto the couch once more, grabbing the bottle and finishing it down in one gulp.
"I'm not looking for pity, I don't know what drove me to say that....maybe the alcohol, maybe because I trust you, perhaps both." He said as he began to pace again nervously, the feverish look still in his eyes as he walked in circles mumbling to himself in his native tongue.
Her face screwed up as she took in a deep breath, settling herself and trying to think clearly past her anger. Khosin was wrapped in layers of loathing, memories and now a few bottles of ale. Teetering on the edge of doing something incredibly stupid. He owed her such a big favour for this.
She plucked the ale out of his hand, grabbing him by the cuff she led him out of the kitchen ignoring his flaring biotics. "
Put up a fight and I'll knock you out faster than you can throw me with those biotics." She warned and dragged him.
Walking him to down to Life Support away from any prying eyes or ears. She settled him down against the wall of the ship and took a seat next to him. She brought up her omnitool, looking for an old recording of her favourite radio broadcast.
The music from the radio began to play to help drown out any remaining noise that the whirring machinery didn't cover.
Khosin didn't resist when Dex grabbed him by the cuff, not answering when she told him that if he put up a fight she'd knock him out before he had time to react with his biotics, following in an almost mindless state when the turian woman began making his way towards the Life Support section of the ship.
"
There. Now, spill every detail. Get it all out of your system, I'll keep whatever you have to say right here and now secret. Mindoir, the Hegemony, let it out. You're keeping all this poison in you Khosin and it'll be the death of you if you don't let it out." She said looking him in the eye. "
I'm angry as fuck right now but I've got all night to listen. So, start talking. I handle fucked up well." Dex rested her chin against her mechnical fist.
Khosin settled down next to Dex and nodded slowly when she told him to tell her everything "Might take a while, whole thing is a tangled mess." Said the batarian with a sigh. He began by telling Dex about his life, or more specifically how his father had lost the family's fortune via a bad investment in a colonization venture. "Things were bad after that....we almost didn't have money, we were just one step ahead of having to sell ourselves as slaves to buy food." He said quietly, falling silent for a few seconds as he gathered his thoughts.
"With no other option left, I joined the Hegemony's military...I was pissed off, pissed at the Alliance for having taken the world we Batarian's had already begun colonizing, hating them and humanity for having ruined my family. I was pissed off at the Council for not lifting a finger to help, not even when thousands of families lost their homes and credits after that failed venture." Said Khosin his hands balled into fists as he simmered with a long buried rage. It took him a few more seconds to calm down once again and once he had managed to do so resumed his tale.
He spoke to Dex of his time in the Batarian Internal Forces, shivering slightly as he recalled all the uprisings (both of slaves and resistance groups) that he had crushed along with his unit during his two year stay with the BIF.
"
I can relate to that to some degree. Being angry, right down to the very marrow of your bones." Dex mumbled focusing on her mechanical talons flicking the blow torch open and closed. Khosin's family was fucked over by the Alliance and their heavy handed push for colonization rights. The Council took their opportunity to snub the Hegemony by taking what they had and giving it away. News, reports and historians would one day refer to the Skyllian Blitz as 'galactic politics', the consequences were sitting right beside her. Spirits, she hated government.
He paused when it came the time to mention why he had left the Hegemony's armed forces, "Truth be told....I am a deserter of the Hegemony, me and a bunch of other batarians, all unstable like me during that time, were given official discharge, but it was all for show....instead we were rolled into a black ops unit. Our job was to harass Alliance convoys, perfect for those of us with a grudge to settle, and funnel back resources to the Hegemony by a contact within the Specials Intervention Unit." He said to her, his voice quivering once more. "Eventually however we began to grow more independent, more brutal, until the day finally came that we disobeyed our orders and instead of attacking our assigned target we went after bigger prey....Mindoir...." He stopped speaking for a few seconds, "We joined up with the rest of the slavers massing to attack the planet and well, the rest is history you could say..." He told her, shivering slightly as he spoke.
Prey, innocent colonists were
prey. Her fist clenched, her anger rumbled through her subvocals. He helped take away the future he was supposed to have from the human colonists. Deciding too late that she was too exhausted to handle the full capacity of this conversation.
Fuck."A short while after Mindoir I joined the Blue Suns for a time." He said his fingers gently brushing the faded tattoo in his neck, "If you'd asked me back then why I left my old slaver crew, I'd have told you that I was bored....but I think that the reality of what I was doing finally began to catch up with me as my hate diminished." He explained to Dex, shaking his head slightly.
She gave him a withering look, despite the surmounting horror Khosin caused the guilt was evident.
He finished his story by explaining to Dex how, as guilt caught up with him, he became more unstable again while he was with the Blue Suns, getting into fights with his comrades and superiors, until he was kicked out of the organization. "And that's my tale, the only other thing worth mentioning is my time among the Riggers and I don't need to tell you about those." He said with a defeatist sigh, turning to look at Dex and waiting for her reaction.
The silence settled between the two of them and the turian struggled on what to say next. At a loss. Khosin used to be a slaver, a pirate and then a unhinged Blue Suns merc. The reserved and often apologetic ship hand, Khosin. The two images weren't matching up. She squinted, she wanted to judge him and tell him he was horrible. Tell him, no matter how guilty he felt right now, it would never take back the things he had done.
Quietly, she knew that wasn't fair giving one previous pirate crewmate a pass and not giving the former slaver the same chance... Well not
exact same but her moral compass was shaking. She began, switching tact, "
You joined this crew to... accomplish what? Some sort of redemption? You've got a lot of work to do."
Khosin shrunk instinctively at the withering look that Dex shot at him, brief thoughts of panic, that she was going to tell the rest of the crew and other similar thoughts, floated through his mind before she spoke again, asking him if he was looking for some sort of redemption when he joined the Borealis crew.
It's instinctive but he let out a bitter chuckle before shaking his head at the turian sitting next to him. "No....I'd like redemption....but I don't think I'll ever get it, don't think if one with as much blood in my hands can get it." He said, letting out another humorless chuckle.
"Listen to me, I sound like a character from a holo-drama....but on more serious thoughts, it was my family that drove me to join the crew of the Borealis." He explained to her, tapping on his omni-tool for a brief second and a picture sprung to life. It showed an old batarian couple, about 50 years old or so, a much younger Khosin and 3 kids. "This is my family, it's a picture before...before we lost everything." He explained to her, his voice quivering ever so slightly as he closes the picture, "My father, my mother, my brothers and sister, are still in Hegemony controlled space, toiling away in a variety of jobs to try and stay afloat." He said to her once more, "I send half of my pay back to them...I want to get them out of the Hegemony, relocate them to Illium if possible, so that they have a chance at a better life." He said to her softly, falling silent as he waited to hear what she'd say next.
She leaned over and studied the faces of his family, listening intently. Family, it wrenched her mind away, he wasn't focused on redemption but trying to help with what he had left. What little he held dear, was his family. Enough reason to not run off and kill himself as well, that brought her a little relief.
"
I don't know what to say, Khosin. You've done... horrible things. None of it is okay. Yet here you are willing and ready to be shot out into the vacuum of space from the guilt. I..." She trailed off awkwardly. Taking a deep breath in summoning the dredges of energy she had left, "
Despite hearing the whole story I still stand by what I told you, this shit doesn't make or break you. I'll need you to swear to me you'll one, keep this a secret and I'll do the same. Two, after we're done here you'll get some sleep instead of leveling a gun to your head."
She elbowed his gut to shake him from his shivers, prod him back to reality. "
You owe me big time for this Khosin, but I'm not going to negotiate favours right now."
Khosin listened in silence as Dex spoke, taking in her words into his mind. He was silent for a few seconds before he let out a soft sigh, "Thank you Dex....for listening to me." He said, letting out a soft sigh as he gathered his thought "For being a friend....it's been a long time since I've talked about these kind of things with other people, years even." He said with a light frown, nodding when she told him to keep this conversation between them secret and to go and get some sleep instead of leveling a gun at his head.
He was a bit surprised when she elbowed him in the gut, stopping him from shivering any further and bringing him back to the present, "I know, I know, thank you Dex." Said Khosin softly, smiling a little towards Dex as he settled against the walls of Life Support, letting out a sigh.
"Sorry for dragging you into all of this." He said quietly, frowning to himself as he realized that if anyone found out it wouldn't be just him that'd be in danger, but that some of it could bleed off towards Dex as well.
She shrugged, "
Not much else to do or apologize for now that the secret is out." The clink of metal in shoulder was apparent.
"
I'm not a therapist by any means, but I'm here if you need to vent." She pushed up from the wall to stand about to give him a warning but another look at the Batarian told her he understood how serious this was, "
If you're alright with it I need to find my bunk and sleep off this exhaustion. Uh, I kind of regret asking for you to spill all your details now. But... I'm glad listening helped you. Sleep well, if you can."
Khosin nodded a little bit when Dex said that there was nothing else to do or apologize for now that his secret was out. "Still, doesn't stop me from feeling like shit for dragging you into this mess with me. I'll make it up to you somehow." Said the Batarian, not exactly sure how he'd make it up for Dex but still willing to do so.
"And yeah, I know, thanks....uh, if you need to vent I'm here as well." He said, shifting slightly before pushing himself up from the wall shortly after Dex. "Yeah, yeah, I'll probably head to my bunk and crash off." He said, nodding slightly. "Not sure about the sleeping well part, haven't done that in years, but I think I'll sleep a bit easier tonight." He said, shaking Dex's hand lightly before he went off to his room.
Watching him leave and turn a corner she stuck her fists deep in her pockets, turning off the radio she had playing. Her thoughts racing without sign of slowing down. She waited a few minutes before heading out as well.
Quietly cursing, "
Fuck."
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