Avatar of NightFox
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    1. NightFox 10 yrs ago

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I have Asperger's and can seem like I am calm most of the time. My main quell is that I don't like expressing my emotions so they bottle up. Most of the time they just fade but usually lead to depression which then leads to total blocks on everything. Last year because of that I only really ate once a day and that was only two slices of toast, my academic life is a mess but slowly getting rebuilt. Most of the time I am generally doing things alone and rarely participate in group work even if its groups of two, I will just sit there and do the work myself. A few years ago I blamed it for practically everything which happened to me and wished I was someone else, then I thought what would happen if I still remained as I was even without AS. That lead to my first depression.

I am also quick to shift my misfortune onto others. The first day back at school this year no-one really talked to me, so I stopped going, not believing I knew the reason, but after a dream I found out sub-consciously I blamed them because they didn't really talk to me. I now know its my own fault. I haven't really been back at school since shortly after the Christmas holidays last year and I was only in between 10-12 or 12-3 and was usually in learning support only really going to ICT and some science classes.

The main thing I believe which has helped would be the support dog I got in December, in the past 3 months I have improved faster and have been more outgoing than I have since I was around 6-7 years old. Other than that it would be some anime and medication.

I am very bad at seeing things through, quitting multiple clubs at school and plenty of out of school activities. I am also very ignorant about things that don't affect me, whether it be some else is ill or being bullied and so forth. Mostly I am like most people with AS but will don't really believe I am, compared to other people I know of (personally or not) I'm don't believe I'm that intelligent despite test scores saying otherwise.

I do have and active mind, after seeing something that interests me it will be stuck in my head for years. Right now I have played out OCs in different anime whether I'm standing or laying down. I can be obsessive not wanting to stop doing something after starting despite how long it may take. Another strange thing about me is that while I look forward to change I hate it when it happens which is probably the only thing I really fear, I can cope with most things besides for quick change and things which seem unstable. I can be pessimistic at times, and probably evil, on long journeys my mind can start to think of the worst case scenarios, but always keeps me alive while everyone else dies.

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