The lady was confident that she could boss him around as easily as she might have ordered around those men who she had an affair with. Well, if she was not your typical London woman, then Nicholas was certainly not a gentleman. He was beginning to regret trying to act like one by bringing up the topic of their bedroom arrangement. There was just the thought that she might not be comfortable sharing the bed with him – a complete stranger. He forgot who he was talking to. This was Claire Abbott, famed adulteress of London’s high society, the lowest hanging fruit, according to Bennett. Perhaps he didn’t need to act all gentlemanlike around her.
She shifted her attention to him again, smiling a smile that reached her eyes. He must admit that he liked that look she was giving him, as if there was something positively evil running in her head. “Oh, I will certainly take you up on that,” she said laughing. “What do you think the contest should be? What about something with our horses? We could race, if you’re all right with that. Or perhaps we could jump with them? I’ve trained in both.”
Nick frowned at her, though he couldn’t fight the irresistible urge to grin at how absurd it was to challenge a person in his profession to race on horseback. He was not just trained he learned the hard way that speed could be the fine line between life and death. Then again, she had no idea who this man sitting across her was. Nick decided to let the frown go and instead cocked a brow at her. His grin turned lopsided as he answered, “If you believe yourself a better rider than I, then by all means let’s agree to race and whoever loses, takes the couch.”
“Nick, may I ask you something?”
He was not ready to let go of the argument, it was kind of fun disagreeing with her, but Claire’s tone implied that it was over. Whether or not they really would race to decide who sleeps in the bed would wait until whatever she intended to discuss was over. Nick slowly assumed a sober expression and nodded at her.
She seemed hesitant to say whatever it was she wanted to discuss, but the lady gathered her guts and continued, “I may not understand why you want to marry me, and you’re right, this isn’t exactly how I pictured my life playing out, but there are still things I’d like to have. I’d like to start a family. Have a couple children, perhaps more. Not now, not with the war going on and things so uncertain, but one day. When we’re ready.”
Nicholas leaned forward so that his elbows rested on his knees then he reached for her gloved hands on her lap to cover it with one of his own. “Claire…” he said as soft as a whisper, testing her name as it rolled out of his tongue for the first time.
“I don’t believe that you actually love me, Nick,” she admitted, cutting him off. “But I bet you could love our children. Just picture it! Playing in the yard, maybe a dog there too. Hopefully she’ll look like her mother, though. I know you’re not one to be tied down, I can tell with your flirting for the sake of your business, but you wouldn’t have to be with us often. I could handle things at home.”
For the first time he felt sorry for marrying Ms. Abbott. She had nothing to do with the mess happening inside Queen Victoria’s military organization. Despite everything about her that was unlike every woman in London, she was still a woman instilled with a dream to build a family and live a simple and yet happy life. It was a kind of life that he could never give her. If anything, he coming into her life was only to give her pain, because as Bennett said, Nicholas Rochford IV shall die at the end of the assignment.
Nick allowed himself to smile a small sad smile. “I am happy to build a family with you, Claire,” he said. A lie and an empty promise. He wouldn’t want to father a child who he might not even get the chance to see born into the world. “And yes, we will keep a dog. Dogs are nice enough animals, not much better than horses, but it will be interesting to keep a dog. And our first child will be a boy, who will look like his father.” Emphasis was placed on how their first boy would look like him. It was unintended, and he hoped she didn’t catch it, but she thought he was a flirt, he believed that she was unfaithful.
He pulled his hand back and straightened in his seat then looked out the window. They were already in Kensington. Once the carriage stopped he would have to assume that whatever was in front of them was the property that he was supposed to have purchased. “I don’t think you love me. We are getting married for our families’ sake. Just like you, my father arranged this for me and as the heir, it is my responsibility to act for the betterment of my family’s name. Being attached to yours is quite something.” Nick watched the landscape from the window as he spoke. What he said was not completely a lie. “I had wished for a simpler life, but this is the hand dealt to us, we might as well make the most of it. You’re a wonderful woman, Ms. Abbott. I will not be surprised to find myself falling in love with you.” Now that was a lie. If there was one thing that was ultimately forbidden to agents such as him, it was to mix his personal feelings with his work. At the moment, Claire was a vital part of his work.