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my nama chegg
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Bio
THEY THINK THAT I'M TOM CRUISE (tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise tom cruise)
BUT BITCH IM BOBBY WID DEM BOOLS
BUT BITCH IM BOBBY WID DEM BOOLS
Most Recent Posts
Jiang and the Contestants
P A R T T W O
Location:
The Inquisitional College
The Inquisitional College
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Throughout the many rooms and corridors of the College echoed a quite militaristic orchestral arrangement, complete with tactful snare drums and sharp, precise trumpets, yet violins were also present, giving the piece a somewhat intellectual taste at times. Someone with good ears who was close enough to the source would also hear a bass guitar somewhere in there, adding an interesting, funky substance to the music. Along with the music, the sound of heavy, precise steps stomping on the marble floor could be heard as the source got closer.
As for the interior design of said rooms and corridors, they were about as difficult to describe as was the exterior of the building - they were somehow built as durable as they were aesthetically pleasing. An odd, yet sensible mix of rococo and brutalism. The rope barriers placed in front of doors and corridors that were presumably off-limits had formed a path towards a pair of swinging doors that led to the first destination of all contestants.
Through the hallways pridefully marched a particular Angry Dragon - Jiang Zhao, stern and highbrowed as ever - in exact beat with the music, of which he was the source himself. Pieter LeGroning and Jaroslava Zaporozhneva followed after him, side by side, looking more like bodyguards or lackeys, rather than students of the College that were bringing a contestant to that Particular Room. Noseless' walk was more of a lumber - quite befitting a man of his intimidating height. Meanwhile, Jaro was sporting a wide, childlike grin on her face, as she mimicked the Dragon's march. During the trumpet parts of his music, she quietly imitated a trumpet player with her hands and by mouthing out the sounds which were heard.
do dororoh do to to do to to toooooh, dot doNAAAAAAAAAAAA Darara-tatataw
pum pum pum pum PUM Pu-pudum PUM PUM PUM Pudum-pudummmm
to to to-to to to-to to to-to to torrRRRA
pum-pudummmmmm
to to to-to to to-to to to-to to torrRRRA
She visibly had quite a hard time containing her chuckle. Noseless was exasperatedly observing her antics, and when their gazes met, she simply snorted into laughter. Thankfully, Jiang ignored the whole ordeal.
As they entered a room with white swinging doors, Pieter pointed at them and uttered:
"There it is. That's where you'll meet the other fellows."
Jiang straightened up his back and ran fingers through his hair, in an attempt to appear more intelligent than the others. Exactly when the song ended, he entered the room, and once he did, many eyes were upon him. With a cold stare, he scanned the Atrium.
Thirty-two podiums, some occupied, some vacant. He picked a spot near the marine and another vacant podium - he deemed him the least bizarre out of the other people. Jiang's posture looked as if he was about to start a symphony - straightened up, strict, looking down upon a hypothetical orchestral group, both of his hands holding the Baton in front of his waist.
He began examining the people whose appearances piqued his interest.
Of the futuristic marine near him, he thought: American soldiers always wear this top-of-the-line battle gear. Cowards. When I was doing necessary military service, all we wore was a Zhongshan suit and a sturdy helmet - no need for heavy, bulky armor. I will show him true military spirit with a good old march!
To the battle sister: I'm not quite sure if I'm correct, but, by the Yellow Emperor, are those high heels she's wearing?! And those breast cups on her armor will break her spine if she ever trips face-first on a hard surface! I can't believe I'm actually worried about a filthy laowai.
His thoughts about the girl in a glorified tin can: Fah! The Western laowai have fallen so low, they appear to be drafting CHILDREN to operate their war machines! I will show this child that real battle is not for her!
The one-handed shrine maiden: She looks Zhongguo - I think I'll get along with her very well.
The so-called "desert cop" entered the room: Another Zhongguo! Yes! Two potential allies!
The last two will probably have extremely awkward encounters with the Asian Composer. He smirked proudly at them.
The cereal mascot: Since when did the American laowai start bringing mascots to life? Hmph. Late-stage capitalism at its very worst.
The gamer with the sniper rifle and the "disgusting American fizzy drink": I smell insolence. Are you saying I'll be fighting this arrogant young man? Look at him - he's obsessed with fizzy drinks and he probably doesn't even know how to use that rifle properly. Fah, I will laugh so hard if I see him try firing from his hip - with a sniper rifle, as a matter of fact! Their eyes met. And I bet he's thinking something about sweatshops when he looks at me! Simple nong mind - fah!
The honey badger with a hat and a pair of revolvers: What? Huh? I don't...What?
The amorphous blob with teeth: I don't want to stay anywhere near this...Shouldn't he have two of these students behind him? Why is there only one of- That train of thought halted as a particular image of a man being chewed by this very creature came to mind. I DEFINITELY do not want to stay anywhere near this.
The slime girl: She must be in cohorts with that...thing with teeth.
The lizard lady: This must be the work of the Japanese tyrants. I'm beginning to think the Chinese Government have set this up and want to test my skills with the wand once more - they better believe I will bring this lizard woman hell.
The giant armored ogre: Ho-ho! This laowai better stop eating so much Burger King!, he noted with his bland sense of humor.
The bipedal shark: Who in their right mind would attach robotic limbs to a hammerhead shark? Area 51 has gone too far!
The last person he could barely even identify was a mustached man with a fez and a heavy wool cloak before he was interrupted by a greeting coming from an apparent second floor of the Atrium. The place they were going to was the City of Echoes. Duels were being arranged for the competitors, so it wasn't going to be an all-out battle royale. Everything else the woman said, he already knew or could've figured by himself.
He was presented with a Phylactery. That must be how we steal our opponents' souls. He put his Baton under his armpit with one hand and picked up the strange necklace with the other one. He looked at the tiny cogs for a moment - his soul was inside this tiny little heart and he had to do anything he could to at least keep it in there. He was still quite wary of whether or not this Wishing Machine was real or just an elaborate fraud, but there was no turning back. He put the necklace around his neck just as the fog began to flood the room.
He kept the same posture with a stern, furious glare, just in case the first thing he met was an opponent.
Location:
The City of Echoes
Jiang and the Contestants
P A R T O N E
Location:
The Inquisitional College
The Inquisitional College
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As the fog completely cleared out and more of the College building was revealed, Jiang compared it in his mind to a combination of a fortress built to be durable and an actual college - built to look like something that houses educated people. It somewhat looked a bit like the high school he went to back in the day, which was built during a stricter time - when Mao was in power.
He didn't notice that the theme melody of Disney Studios had suddenly shifted into the Chinese National Anthem, as a far cry from his younger years. Jaro and Noseless looked at each other in confusion. Lyuben joined in on the confused staredown by looking at his three passengers through the rear-view mirror, but later decided against it, so as to keep an eye on the road. After all, he didn't want to slow them down by accidentally driving straight into the sand beach of the island - his car was currently prepared for stylish and elegant transportation, not for off-road driving.
Speaking of the road, it was a paved one, but not like the old Ancient Roman highways - it was tiled, like an indoors floor rather than actually paved. One of its end points was somewhere behind the building, where the College's garage & workshop was. The other end, where they came out of, seemed to be going straight into an ominous cloud of fog, about as large as a football field. It stood there, motionless and monolithic, right on top of the surface of the sea. It served as a portal to other worlds, preferably ones with roads in them. The road itself was relatively long and it curved to the back of the building, where it weaved into an S-shape before ending with a garage door that looked a bit like something out of Ancient Athens, but not quite.
Lyuben halted the car when he was just about 10 meters from the garage door. A very bright spotlight-looking device switched itself on and was pointed towards the car by an invisible hand. It continuously made a high-pitched humming sound for about 5 seconds, and then switched off. A deep, gravely voice from some speakers tucked away somewhere in the overhang told the driver: "Welcome back, Davy Jones. Hurry up and get in, the fightin' boys are already gathering at the thing." Lyuben silently replied with an OK hand sign and continued onwards.
"Here we are, boys.", he said in his heavy Slavic accent
The Collage Garage & Workshop was unusually large, although it was necessarily so, for it had about 6 other vehicles parked in it. The ceiling was about 20 feet over their heads and lengthy fluorescent tube lights, like the ones you'd find in hospitals, were neatly lined up on it and shone down for people to see what they were doing. The floor, on the other hand, was a mess - dozens of tool cabinets haphazardly bunched up in the two sides of the room, near the vehicles, and hundreds of more tools and parts littered on the floor in the same way as the cabinets. The room itself, fortunately, was 15 feet wide and 20 feet long, so despite the huge mess it wasn't too cramped up.
One of the vehicles was rather shaped more like a speedboat entirely made out of blued steel with intricate art-deco designs and hovering on top of a floating red and gold carpet. The carpet had a few more long strips of cloth of the same material floating around it, possibly to support the weight of the heavy steel hull. Someone wearing a collarless, double-breasted, scarlet silk trenchcoat embroidered with gold thread, a red & gold silk shawl on his head, a leather mechanic's apron on top of the coat, a pair of rolled up dark-brown slacks and light, beige boots had kneeled down to examine the carpet, possibly to check for any imperfections.
Lyuben stopped the Moskvitch in the exact middle of the room. He removed his glasses and his faux beard - it was quite a nuisance to constantly have flax in his mouth and the sunglasses were beginning to strain his eyes. He left the driver's seat, opened the back door and welcomed them out of the car with a tip of his peaked cap.
"Welcome to the College, Mr. Zhao. Have a nice day."
Zhao respectfully nodded at him and walked up towards the steel double door, but stopped for about a minute to think through everything that had happend up to this point. This was his chance. No turning back.
Standing behind him were Noseless on the right and Jaro on the left. They were kind of impatient - Jaro pulled a brass pocket watch from her waistcoat to check the time. Noseless looked at her general direction, hoping to get a glimpse of where the arrows were pointing on the tiny clock-face. She looked back at her tall friend and gestured Two-Oh with her hands - twenty minutes until the beginning. He nodded.
The complete silence was only disturbed by the rumble of Lyuben's car being parked properly, him walking up to the shawled repairman and talk of a particular "desert cop" they were picking up next.
The silence ended abruptly with Jiang quite literally whipping into stern attention, placing his Baton under his armpit and some sort of attentive, disciplined trumpet sting aggressively piercing the air. Noseless, Jaro and anybody else who was currently in the room was startled. The composer's pose was similar to that of a condescending drill sergeant surveying a line of cadets.
He marched through the doors in perfect beat with the drums. Pieter and Monkeyboy followed.
==CONTINUED IN PART 2==>
@Lugubrious aye you're welcome G
@GarlandDaHero you know what they say, if it can't run doom it's Absolutely Fucking Useless
guys there is one last spot for an NPC in the roster who's calling dibs on it
who's gonna be the missing NPC tho
it's currently 1 AM where i am and i'm gonna have to do the post where he gets to the podium tomorrow so stay tuned™ yall i've got this shit
Jiang Zhao, the Angry Dragon
憤怒龍
P A R T T W O
Karlov Věž Hotel, 5th floor, Prague, Czech Republic
March 24th, 2018
An old, angry-looking man of clearly Asian origins, just about the same height as Monkeyboy, with at least 3-4 centimeters added on top, revealed himself as the dust settled.
Mr. Zhao was currently clad in just a white tank-top and a pair of striped boxers. His hair was wavy and neatly brushed to the side. Most of it was either black or a very dark-grey, but there was a clear white stroke right in the middle, and another one on the side, following a line just behind the ear, meaning his age must've been just on the cusp of "adult" and "elderly". His wrinkles, caused by stress throughout the years, made him look even older than he really was. His slanted eyes did not blink - in fact, they did not move at all.
And they were looking straight at Jaro. She felt her soul being burned ablaze. She didn't notice Jiang had yanked her to himself and not a moment too soon she was suplexed. He then threateningly twisted her arm, making the tomboy cry out in pain. She felt so intimidated and frightened that she didn't even notice when Jiang's fist made a small crater in the wooden floor, right near her head.
In her panic, she blurted out:
"Mr. Zhao! Please! Please! Calm down! I-I guarantee it'll be worth it if you would j-just let us sp-"
"NO! GET OUT OR ELSE YOUR ARM DISLOCATES!..."
She screamed as another fist crashed into the same spot, this time even closer to her head.
"...STUPID LAOWAI!"
"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, WE'LL LEAVE! JUST DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE!"
Jaro felt her arm being released, then thrown to the side in anger. With a pained grin on her face, she rubbed her wrist and twisted it around in an attempt to numb the pain, then slowly got up and turned around, beginning to stagger towards the staircase. "Bashi-bozouk, he packs an ungodly punch. Ugh..., she muttered to herself on the way.
...
Realizing she was leaving Noseless behind with that man, she stopped. Her eyes widened and then she turned back to look at the two men.
They were seemingly locked in a Mexican Standoff. They were staring straight into each other's eyes. Jiang's expression was still furious. Pieter, on the other hand, remained calm and held the Lantern close to his face, in order to try and calm him down slightly. His plan soon started to work - the forty seconds it took for the Asian's gaze to slowly turn and fixate onto the warm, welcoming glow of the Lantern felt like several minutes, but it worked exactly as intended. He decided this was the perfect moment to signal Jaro to come closer and do something.
Without moving any other muscle, Noseless turned his eyes to Monkeyboy, raised his eyebrows, then looked at Jiang, frowned, and finally looked back at the girl expectantly. This, according to him, was her chance. She nodded and slowly tip-toed her way closer to the Dragon, not realizing she had stuck out her tongue in determination.
On her way towards him, she noticed the funk music from before had changed into a faint sound of a symphonic orchestra tuning their instruments just before the start of a concert. It became louder as she got closer to the old man. This must be his music power thing. I'm beginning to think stealing that glorified antenna from there was the worst possible idea the College ever considered., she immediately thought.
Once she was close enough, Jaro slowly pulled out a tiny flashlight from her jacket's pocket. Noseless knew exactly what that was. He closed his eyes, shielding them from what was about to come. She pointed it specifically towards Jiang's face and tried to get his attention.
"Hey."
The gentle mess of sound stopped.
Jiang turned around and was met by a small bang, similar to a firecracker, and a blinding light. He grunted and grimaced in pain, began rubbing his eyes and dizzily stumbled backwards before sitting down on his knees and hiding his face.
Noseless opened his eyes, keeping the exact same blank expression as he always had. He lowered the Lantern and scanned the current scene.
On his left, Jaro had put her hands on her waist, sighing in relief and proudly observing the work she had just done - she had defeated a black belt in Kung Fu with just her flash, which was still smoking. She then brushed her fingers backwards through her hair and stopped in the middle, leaving her hand on her head in disbelief. Pieter slowly averted his gaze towards the defeated black-belt.
Jiang seemed to be still trying to recover from the throbbing headache in his forehead, as evidenced by his hands still covering his face. He let out a groan, and spoke through his teeth in Chinese.
"Ughhhhhhhhhhpfffff...绝对令人恶心... <Absolutely disgusting...>"
Jaro, still looking at Jiang, picked the mysterious briefcase up from the floor and moved herself near him. Pieter, meanwhile, strategically moved himself in front of the two. She squatted down, laid the briefcase on the floor with the handle faced towards her, looked at Jiang, and began:
"So...Mr. Zhao..."
Mr. Zhao made a simple sound that could only be described by a single "?".
"We heard your greatest wish was to become the best of the best."
Jiang threw his head back and replied with a mocking laugh. He looked at Monkeyboy with an equally mocking smile.
"Everyone wants to be the best of the best, laowai. Especially artists like me, heheh...", he vaguely gestured towards himself. "Where are you going with this?", he asked as his face turned a little bit more stern.
"We're offering you a once-in-a-lifetime chance to achieve that dream in just the snap of a finger."
He let out a wheezing chuckle and grimaced in mockery. "What are you even going on about?", he said, and continued chuckling.
"It's a sort of fighting tournament. You'll be fighting against thirty-one other people-"
"Sentient things.", Noseless corrected.
"...Thirty-one other sentient things in order to collect their souls and, presumably, bring them to this device which will grant you your greatest wish.", Jaro explained and then looked at Noseless with an exasperated expression.
"Fah, this is already beginning to sound like a fraud!...
Jiang's gaze was drawn by the Lantern in Noseless' hand for a few long seconds. He looked back at Jaro and continued.
"...Erh, go on...I want to hear what other nonsense you laowai will think up."
"Hey now, don't get us wrong, friend. We know how mad this sounds, but you may have to trust us on this. We seriously do NOT know how this thing works. It's big, it's shaped like a freight container, it glows non-stop and it speaks."
"Eh?"
"We also found a ledger that writes names onto itself. One of the names on there is yours."
Jiang frowned and slightly opened his mouth in confusion.
"There's also these pendants we found with which you collect the souls."
Jiang, keeping the same confused look on his face, looked at Jaro, then at Noseless, then back at Jaro again.
"Right. Sounds simple enough. What's the catch?"
"You might die. In a pretty gruesome way, if you're unlucky enough."
Jiang stared at Jaro in stern disappointment. He nodded.
"No thanks. Not worth it."
Jaro sighed. "...Right, looks like I'll have to persuade you."
She took the briefcase, cradled it in her arm, faced it towards Jiang and opened it.
...
Jiang gasped. He couldn't believe his eyes. A blue flickering glow shone upon his face of disbelief.
His Baton was inside!
"How did...How did you..." He looked back and forth between the two colleagues and the Baton. His wide-eyed gaze finally stopped at Monkeyboy as he pointed at his secret weapon. "How on Earth did you acquire this?! This is one of the Chinese Government's most well-kept secrets!"
"We just...stole it. I don't know. Don't ask me how."
Jiang looked at Pieter. Pieter shrugged. "I said don't ask me! We probably killed one or two guards in the process, but that's all I know."
"Are you convinced now?"
Jiang gazed into the Lantern. Although he didn't realize it, its welcoming light convinced him even further that this tournament of theirs was 100% absolutely real. So many questions flooded his head: How exactly did they steal the Baton? What was this device of theirs, anyway? Was it even theirs? Did the device really grant wishes? Who the hell were these two colorful people? That "we" did not sound like they were talking about just themselves, so, given that they were just two strange-looking laowai - one of them a two meter tall noseless giant who doesn't talk much and the other one a girl dressing and acting like a boy - and just these two couldn't possibly organize an event like this, let alone sneak into one of the most heavily-guarded government-owned facilities in the world...just who in the hell were these people and what did they plan for him? Were they sent by the Chinese Government or something?
He cleared his head and started brushing his chin in thought. Only one question remained in his mind:
Am I in or out?
"Well?"
Jiang averted his gaze towards Jaro with a determined look on his face...
Jirásek Bridge, Prague, Czech Republic
Pieter, Jiang and Jaro were all bunched up in the back seat, in this order. It was the same car and the exact same driver - his name was revealed to be L'n'thyg'labth, also known as Lyuben Gliganov, and the beard was fake. It hid the tentacles that were all over his face. He always wore sunglasses to hide his strange, intimidating, purple-colored octopus eyes. He was otherwise quite a cheerful man - he was especially happy with his job as a College associate. Jiang, although quite reluctantly, somehow got along quite well with the tentacle man.
"Good pay.", he would simply note. "And a diverse work environment - just the way I like it!"
It was a mostly silent ride along the east side of the Vltava. It rained harder and harder as they decreased their distance with the Jirásek Bridge. Jiang sat there wearing his inhumanly clean tuxedo and with the Baton neatly placed upon his lap. He wondered what the noseless giant meant when he mentioned "sentient things". What wonders or monstrosities has this College of theirs even seen? I can't believe I accepted...But alas, I'm at the point of no return...
Jiang sighed.
As they were crossing the Jirásek Bridge, the fog turned into a shifting cloud and swirled around the car. It looked as if they were flying through a cloud. There was so much rain pattering onto the windshield that Jiang half-expected it to break under the pressure. Lightning struck nearby and slightly startled him. Jaro giggled. "He jumped." Pieter simply let out a "Heh." Jiang groaned at Jaro.
As the fog began to clear out, a beautiful, shining castle revealed itself. Jiang gazed upon it with wishful eyes. It was all real, after all.
He was reminded of Disney. "When You Wish Upon a Star" started playing a little loudly. This confused Lyuben, as he attempted to lower the volume on his car's radio. Jaro patted the tentacle man on the shoulder and gestured at Jiang. "Oh.", muttered Lyuben.
Location:
The Inquisitional College
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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