@Oddsbod I fully understood that prospect, and my concerns are more that his abilities don't really fit the setting (or a theme) than anything (I may have overreacted when I said he was OP, so yeah). That said, I am glad you taken my advice well. You wouldn't believe how many people start to argue, and start spouting dumbshit. lol
You're off to the right start.
Lol man I feel, spent a few days last week herding some major sheep with one problem player for an RPG on another forum, the dude just did not want to play the character role he'd chosen and kept trying to introduce totally new worldbuilding details. I'm like entirely only attached at all to his abilities because I got to put my middle school years of reading all those zany Bleach chapters to good use. God-awful writing and pacing, but damn if the author didn't just have the best names for things, and an amazing art style.
If I wanted to keep the setup of having a roster of starter abilities then, I'd probably wanna cut the Megadoze for sure, right? I wanted the dreams more for outside of fighting interaction, thought it might set up some cool scenarios, but if those don't work either I can scrap em, make the other abilities more consistently combat oriented, and then maybe trim down the number of containers to 12. And if that ends up being too weak I can just run with having a token weak character, nothing wrong with that. He can have rad hang-out party sessions with Lucas.
I was hoping the theme of his abilities was less in the abilities themselves, and more in the overarching copycat effect, like, a Chosen One who doesn't have an identity or purpose of his own, and at this point probably never will, and everything he does has to come from more interesting, more powerful people he meets on his travels. But anyways yea I'll start putting together a new draft to work on all the things you'd brought up.
@Oddsbod Okay, I extensively discussed Askin with my co-gms (more than ever before, in fact!), and we have shared opinions.
We think Askin is a great character but, we think that his special moves could really use a bit of reworking. My main thing is that they seem more like RPG moves, than attacks you'd see in a fighting game (or even an anime). Even though this RP isn't what you would call the most "anime" or "fighting game" RP in the world, he kind of sticks out compared to the other characters (who fit that theme much better). He has like status debuffs, and healing moves. I'm not saying that everyone has to be a badass karate man, but I kind of want to maintain a certain thematic here. Having moves that heal himself, trap enemies, and illusion moves go against that.
We also agree that his special moves in general are a bit confused and all over the place. His moves don't seem to fit into any kind of thematic tbh, and they don't really convey that he's the chosen one. I just can't see his fighting in action. I also think he's a bit overpowered that he has access to all these moves. He just seems that he has a bit too much. I mean, he can steal attacks, has illusions, status effects, can trap enemies (and restrain them), three projectiles (one even gives him extra mobility), two melee attacks, and has a demon. It would be okay if he had one or two of these, but he has all of them. It doesn't work that his weakness is that "he isn’t a trained fighter" when he has access to a variety of moves that more than make up for it.
All that said and done; I have some idea that could make Askin's fighting style be more in line with the other characters. I think he would be a bit more interesting to see in action if you focused his special techniques around the lamp's ability to copy other people's attacks (Or as you call it, The Imprisoner, and The Unleasher). Since that's probably the one thing that would revolve around a character's kit around in a fighting game. Give him the ability to store a few attacks inside that magic lamp of his, and use them against his opponents. And boom! You have yourself a fighting style not too out of place in a fighting anime, and it fits his chosen one theme much better.
I would just drop the other special techniques. Because, tbh, they're redundant if you focus on copying other attacks, and they don't gel with the thematics of the rp.
Mmh, sounds right. Thanks for looking it all over, really appreciate it!
I'll defs try and move some of the focus away from the buff/debuff RPG-ish build, and lower power level. I'm just glad the character himself works out, that was what I'd really enjoyed writing, can't wait to get the chance to start bringing him out. Also naming abilities, that was fun.
Before I get back to fixing it up, I just wanted to double check, is it clear that the special abilities like Winter's Whack and We Were Megadozing are all just stabilized versions of Imprisoner/Unleasher? So they're all just extensions of the single copycat ability, and they're all one time things, and I'd change his sheet over the RPG to reflect what effects he has at his disposal, then maybe say it would take him a whole day to properly seal another attack from someone willing to give him a hand. Like maybe if they end up friends he gets to borrow Otsana's Bloop attack, or Brenda's Stone Spikes, but he only gets to use them once for each time he sealed the attack up. I'd wanted to give him a pretty wide set of effects at the beginning because I imagine he might use them up pretty fast if things get too demanding, and it would take a while to restock. But I know it's a really weird thing to balance, and you'd know better than me if having access to all those things right from the beginning, even just once, could be too much. So yea, just wanted to check if your advice for fixing Askin up is based on the special abilities being one-time things that he can quickly run out of, or if I messed up and made it seem like those abilities are things he can do whenever he wants without running out.
What about having the genie in the lamp fight for him that flows with his copycat abilities? Like, for example the person in the lamp gets pissed that you're shoving and spewing things out of his home. There should be an, erm "meter" that charges up each time he utilizes imprisoner and unleasher. Once it maxes out, he can use the genies moves temporarily before it goes back to being sealed in the lamp.
How does that sound with the thematic? I mean, he does have that genie stuck in the lamp, so instead of using him up forever, why not use him multiple times after charging up to unleash that ability?
Yo that's a really cool idea. I wanted the genie to be more of a last resort button for when every other option had run out, and I think only getting to see it once makes it a little cooler, a little more mysterious, but that would be a really cool set up for a charater.
@OddsbodAbsolutely lovely. Normally I'm not a huge fan of passive characters since they're a bitch and a half to get involved in plots, but considering the power at Eissens disposal I could see more then a few people scheming to strip her of the power she holds without the messy complications that come with it. So she'll get dragged into things regardless of her desire to become involved. It's just a matter of time.
My only real complaint is the Campr spell. What do you mean "prevent its master from invoking it again in the immediate future"? I'd a more through explanation of that that entails.
Coolio. Yeah, and if you ever need her out and about I can always just have her have a good day and go out grocery shopping.
For Campr, I was thinking that the "prevent its master from invoking it" bit meant that, for example, if you had a Tale that had used fire breath, Eissen could invoke Campr to shatter the fire, and by an extension of breaking the magic it's owner can't use firebreath again for another hour or so. Shoulda used clearer wording, yeah.
@Mr Allen J Oki doke, got a sheet draft finally squared away. It's pretty rough, but I think it nails down the bases of who/what this character is.
Askin La Askerorre
⦋ 20 (Chronologically: 1020) || Genevieve || Male ⦌
APPEARANCE & PERSONALITY
APPEARANCE
Have you ever seen that episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob tries very hard to get admitted to the local tough guy bar, but is denied and told to try the neighboring Weenie-Hut Jr’s instead? Askin wouldn’t bother asking—he is perfectly aware of his natural place at Weenie-Hut Jr’s. Topping out at 4’11” with a rather petite body and inoffensive thin shoulders, Askin La Askerore is a thoroughly nonthreatening person. A little upturned smile lingers around his face, and his blue soap-sud eyes are framed by heavy eyelids and thick black lashes. His messy blond bob catches lots of yellow light, and dangling gold earrings hang from either ear, three on the left and four on the right. When he moves, they make a fun little tinkling sound, which he appreciates.
Askin takes advantage of the difficulty opponents might have in understanding and adapting to his techniques, so he uses a large gold-and-indigo cloak to mask his hands, body, and the little bronze containers his powers rely on. Underneath, he wears very simple clothes, and largely prefers to go barefoot.
PERSONALITY TRAITS
■ Sweet as a button ■ Is happy if you’re happy ■ Carefree, and it takes a lot of effort ■ Lots and lots of wanderlust ■ Vain ■ Really vain ■ Extremely vain ■ Too trusting ■ Falls in love very easily ■ Is manipulated very easily ■ Probably a bottom ■ Puts all his insecurities and fears in a little tiny box, then puts away the box and never ever ever looks at that box again
BACKSTORY & MOTIVATION
Askin La Askerore was born to the long lost kingdom of Genevieve, and on the day of his birth the planets aligned, the moon was at its peak, and—so they say—seventy ravens gathered from distant lands to witness baby Askin’s birth. This is because Askin La Askerore was the Chosen One. It was a Very Big Deal.
From an early age, he was raised with love and care, and it shows. If you look at him, even today, you can tell that this was a boy who was raised with love. And when he turned ten, his parents told him his spectacular destiny. They armed him with a magic shirt and magic sword and told him he had to find his own way, and prepare for the day he would fight the Seven Golems of the Sacred Night and the Wizard of the Sledgehammer. This was dictated by Prophecy, you see, and neither Askin nor his family, nor the city of Genevieve were one to argue with Prophecy.
So Askin set out. Because of his unique birth, Askin possessed an enormous amount of ki from an early age, and his childhood injuries healed easily, and if he needed to outrun danger, he could outrun danger. His parents had told him he had to train as a warrior, but Askin quickly found the people he ran into were much more fun and interesting and enjoyable to be around than any old training regiment So he put it off, and concerned himself with what amounted to a long string of many, many sidequests, pointless menial tasks like saving pets in trees, tracking down lost heirlooms, and once or twice filing someone’s taxes. He made decent money, as one often does on sidequests, but failed to significantly level up or advance the plot. So to speak. He would always make sure to write home, whenever he could, and if he decided to spend a night with his parents he could be sure a warm and happy meal would be waiting for him.
One day, of course, he bit off more than he could chew. A traveling sorcerer offered him a game of chess with a fabulous prize should he win. Askin, not suspecting anything amiss, agreed, and utilizing a surprising and unexpected talent for chess was able to successfully defeat the sorcerer. His prize: an eternity within an enchanted lamp. With five Words of Power, Askin was sucked away, he found himself falling through clouds and empty sky and rushing air until, finally, he struck the ground. He was trapped.
For a thousand years, Askin wandered a lonely sandbar in the middle of a beautiful, tropical ocean. In the sky above, he sometimes saw faces. That sky was very turquoise, and beautiful to look at. Askin spent years looking at it. The air of the island in the lamp was calming and sweet and smelled of sea salt. His mind drifted away from him in that lamp. It was like being caught in the half-second between deep sleep and stirring awake.
Then, one day, at a museum somewhere in London, someone pried open the lamp and Askin was free. It took him a month to understand what had happened. To catch up by just a tenth of a percentage on what this brave new world as like. And he realized, now, he was free, really free! Totally, wonderfully free! Askin could go wherever he wanted, see and be whoever he wanted, live any kind of life he chose, and Prophecy could go eat a dick!
It hasn’t totally hit him yet that everything he ever knew is gone. You might sometimes catch him make reference to introducing you to his parents, or a marketplace in Genevieve where he and his friends used to play. Askin is very good at brushing these aside though, and quickly stuffing them down that tiny and problematic box, the one where he puts annoying things like that. Askin has never once inquired to the ultimate destiny of Genevieve. He did, however, once scan a map, and notice that an enormous lake now lies where his city used to be. That was enough for him.
There is maybe some part of Askin that is hollowed out and disappointed, not just subconsciously, but consciously. He failed. He failed. He avoids at all costs thinking about the people who are probably dead because he wasn’t there, and has never subjected himself to learning the exact number. It is possible, if you were spying at him late at night, that you might see him awake, and if you stayed awake with him you would see it sometimes takes a very, very, very long time for Askin La Askerore to fall asleep. He is a person filled up by ‘if only’s, and maybe that’s why he made himself a Nomad, a hero, someone who will be thrust into situations of bravery and heroism and given a hundred chances to turn ‘if only’s into reality. He would never admit this, but maybe he’s not as free as he thinks he is, and maybe that was his own doing this time, not destiny, not Prophecy.
But at the same time, Askin is legitimately happy. He might feel a bit confused sometimes, occasionally struck be enormous feelings of disappointment and miseryat the same time he’s feeling joy and excitement and love, and all at once he just doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t try to probe deeper into this emotional and psychological quagmire though. When all is said and done, Askin is just happy to be alive (that’s what matters, right?) and would probably consider himself well adjusted and mentally healthy, if you asked.
There is a part of him that goes out to tournaments and Nomad gatherings because he knows there’s so much history to catch up on, and being in the middle of great crowds from all over the world is a great way to learn. There is another part of him that is excited at meeting new friends. There is yet another part that is deeply lonely and hopes maybe one of these random strangers will hold him in their arms and tell him everything that ever was and ever will be is going to be a-fucking-okay. And then, another part, this one telling him to go be a hero, go help people, act like a Chosen One for once in your life, Jesus Christ. Mostly, he only really listens to the first two. Askin kept with him the magic lamp. From its strange design and powers, he learned a great many things.
FIGHTING STYLE & ABILITIES
FIGHTING STYLE
You will likely underestimate Askin due to his diminutive appearance, and assume he isn’t much of a fighter. If you do, you would be right; Askin is a shit fighter, and probably always will be. He has little patience for technique or repetitive practice, and often annoys people who try to teach him. Despite being born with massive inherent ki, he never worked to train or improve it, and never learned to use it in conjunction with martial arts. As is, by the time he became a young adult, he has maybe a shade more ki than you’d expect from a good Nomad, but with no combat prowess to back it up.
Instead, Askin relies on the knowledge he learned studying his lamp. Based on its design, he created fifteen powerful brass seals into which he can trap items, injuries, and attacks, then release them at his discretion. He supplements this by concentrating ki into specific body parts to take hits easier, as well as a form of flash stepping where he momentarily spikes his speed by concentrating the ki in his feet. These are amateur abilities, of course, all power and zero technique.
It's possible his many, many centuries trapped in the lamp did something to his head, because Askin seems to have an unhealthily high pain threshold (and difficulty recognizing when he's being seriously hurt), and is prone to zoning out. One of these can be helpful in fights, sometimes, while the other can get him knocked flat on his butt.
Through an unknown ability, Askin has also achieved what seems to be a very close approximation of immortality, and often surprises opponents by soaking up their attacks when they expect him to be crippled. However, Askin can’t regenerate at a speed that’s effective in pitch combat, so disabling the legs and arms will knock him very firmly out of a fight.
However, with these unique sealing/unleashing abilities, careful employment of sudden dodges and flash steps, and a strange ability to ignore what should be mortal injuries, Askin can be an extremely difficult creature to pin down due in a fight.
SPECIAL MOVES & TECHNIQUES
■ Punch
Askin unleashes a normal, mildly ki-infused punch. It’s okay, you guess?
■ Punch(?)
Askin unleashes a devastating ki-powered punch of wall-wrecking power. (2/2)
■ Winter’s Whack
Askin releases a terrible winter that freezes up everything in front of him. (1/1)
■ We Were Megadozing
Askin is able to set loose a terrible exhaustion on his target. (1/1)
■ A Waking Dream
Askin shares a happy and wonderful dream with the target, filling them with the strong feeling that everything is good and right in the world, and visions of their happiest moments and deepest hopes will swim before them. Not a traditional combat technique, but it can easily distract someone in a fight. (2/2)
■ An Unspoken Nightmare
Askin shares a terrifying nightmare with the target, filling them with everything they’ve ever doubted about themselves, and ever dark future they fear will come to pass. Not a traditional combat technique, but it can easily distract someone in a fight. (1/1)
■ The Disgraceful Grace
Askin releases a spinning whirlwind of fifteen vicious swords, slicing outwards like an unfolding flower. (Please don’t take the swords though Askin needs them, if you could give them back after the fight that would be great thanks.) (1/1)
■ Air Apparent
Askin sets loose an enormous windstorm, which can propel him to safety or hurl all his surroundings backwards. (2/2)
■ Bopping Clapchains
Askin hurls out a sudden, enormous tangle of ki-infused handcuffs and restraints, capable of tangling up enemy fighters and interfering with their abilities. (1/1)
■ The Imprisoner
Askin can quickly and in the heat of the moment negate a single incoming attack entirely, though he can only do this (4) times. How long it stays imprisoned is proportional to how much time and what kind of setting he was in while performing the imprisoning ritual. In the heat of battle, Askin can only imprison something for about a minute. Afterwards, to imprison any more attacks, he must free up slots with his Unleasher.
■ The Unleasher
Askin unleashes an attack that he’s imprisoned. If he doesn’t quickly unleash it, it will burst free of its own accord within about a minute
■ The Not Just Yet Blues
Askin hides away a target’s injuries and pain. Whatever he hides away with Not Yet! is contained proportional to how much time he had to manage the containment—generally, in the heat of battle, he can only bottle away the injuries for about two minutes. Injuries will always be returned to the person they were original inflicted on. The Not Just Yet Blues can only be used if there are available Imprisoner slots.
■ Superspiritual Sabbath
Askin hides away another living person within one of his seals. A person can only be hidden away willingly, as once inside they can break through at any moment if they wish. This can be a useful away of protecting someone who’s been grievously injured by insuring their injuries don’t get any worse. Hideaway can only be used if there are available Imprisoner slots
■ [Passive Effect] Prisoner in Paradise
Askin cannot die, and his ki energies can’t be disrupted. Injuries take a long time to regenerated, however, so he can still be crippled in a fight.
SUPER MOVES
■ The Genie in a Bottle
Askin opens up his magic lamp, releasing the secret light he hid away inside it, as well as a powerful demon with which he’s brokered a contract. The demon will fight for him for one day, unleashing terrible displays of strength and power, while the wonderful light will explode into Askin’s body, immediately healing him and anyone nearby he wishes healed of all injuries. This move can only be done once, ever.
■ The Prisoner in the Lamp [Move Name Here]
A move that can only be done if the lamp has been opened up and the demon and the light set free. Askin can trap one person inside the lamp, just as he was once trapped, and there is no way to escape once inside unless someone outside decides to open the lid. Askin has to maintain five seconds of physical contact, however, with the person he’s trying to trap, and successfully speak the five mantra-words of containment.
WEAKNESSES & LIMITS
Askin’s greatest weakness is that he isn’t a trained fighter. He does not understand technique, his ki manipulation is extremely simple, he is physically weak, and all in all doesn’t take fighting nearly as seriously as many nomad’s much, much stronger than him. His abilities are extraordinarily versatile, but they all rely on gaining abilities from friends outside of battle, or clever use of an opponent’s power within a battle—ultimately, Askin has no true power of his own. Askin doesn't have any good way to get around someone who just has significantly more speed and power than him, and if a person can avoid all his attacks and act to quickly for his Imprisoner, there's not much he can do.
He is on a weird sort of position where if matched up against someone attractive he might try extra hard to show off, or they might be able to just convince him to give up--either is completely likely.
Standard After-Battle Quote
Hey, so, are you doing anything later?
Default Win Quote
Oh shit, I actually won.
Lose Quotes
"Uh that was really fast what just happened." (vs Jaden) "Hey that was pretty cool! I pirate like all my music but I would totally support you on soundcloud or iTunes if you want." (vs Justin) "Back in my day we were pretty excited about concrete. Concrete was cool. That was the hot new invention of the time. Um. Nice job. Guns are cool too." (vs Seven-Seven) "Oof, maybe God really is on your side." (vs Sage) "Wow, I think you just broke all my bones—and my heart haha ha um ha, sorry I'll just stop nevermind." (vs Brooke) *Punched into wall, can't speak, but maybe gives a thumbs up or something* (vs Brenda) "Topless is a good look for you." (vs Billy)
Ah coolio, thanks! Yeah, I've really enjoyed working on the Nomadic Fist character too, nearly done with the first draft. Lots of really neat RPGs on this forum, though I think it's probs smart to limit myself to two for now.
So, I should just wait for @Crosswire's okay before posting, right?
It probably needs more polishing up, and I think I wanna paint an appearance drawing to use as reference, but I think it's ready for review. How does this character feel? Anything that needs serious work?
Title: The Pale Queen
Name: Eissen Frampt
Tale: Rumpelstiltskin
Physical Age: 38
Actual Age: 440
Height/Weight: 6’1”, 151lbs
Gender: Female
Appearance: Eissen is one of those eerie people whose white hair is almost the exact same color as her skin, like somewhere at the top of her forehead the flesh splits apart into silky filaments, while her eyebrows are apparently nonexistent. Her hair is usually pulled back into an elegant and complicated bob, or maybe let loose for those casual Sundays where, mostly, you just stay in bed, maybe with a good book and a hot cup of tea. Eissen tends to treat most days like casual Sundays though, if she can. She has the feel of a woman who’s spent her entire life indoors, and her skin and lips have a drowned look to them, while her mouth is the color of dead violets. Eissen’s eyes can be somewhat off-putting as well, doll-like and charcoal black, the color of forests where children get lost and never come out. Eissen has a long and soft-featured face that ends in a pointed chin, and her entire body has a carefully stretched look to it, like the legs of a spider. Her fingers are long, and covered in rings.
You might imagine her fitting nicely in a long, flowing dress, something bizarre with many thorns and flowers woven into it. But instead, Eissen makes do with T-shirts and nice coats bought on discount from the local Macy’s, dark Levis too, and maybe some boots with not-too-uncomfortable heels. She has a strong preference for headscarves and covering herself up if she can, and usually has some sort of black, lacey veil pulled up over her hair and shadowing her eyes. If she doesn’t need to step outside, which is often, Eissen spends most of her time in pajamas and pretty-looking nightgowns.
Personality: Eissen doesn’t expect much from you, and hopes you’re not expecting too much from her. Really, don’t bother. It’s flattering, but you’re just going to be disappointed. That’s what she’ll tell you, at least.
Eissen is a very go-with-the-flow kind of Tale, who appreciates a peaceful life but won’t protest too much if you decide to intrude on her story. Cool as a cucumber and not easily shaken, she gives off the impression she knows exactly what she’s doing, though of course that’s absolute nonsense. Still shaken by the haunting names that she devoured and made a part of herself, Eissen sees the potential for destruction and devastation wherever she looks, and though it’s now a long distant memory, when she sleeps, some part of her head is still full of ash and twilight, and boarded up houses with dead families inside. There is a part of her head that is always guilty for her actions, and another part of her that always, always just wants to sleep. And another part misses the woman who once was, the Eissen Frampt who had real wants and ambitions, and would conquer a kingdom just to have her name remembered.
She finds very tiny things to distract her, which a more positive person would point out is quite healthy, given the circumstances (though Eissen doesn’t really have anyone in her life who could say that). She loves to play with gold and metal, and tinker with all sorts of mysterious and off-kilter objects. Recently, on a rare trip out into the city, Eissen picked up a guitar, and is currently taking lessons online. Sometimes she reads books. Sometimes, people visit, and she privately takes great pleasure in this.
She shouldn’t complain, really. Her life is comfortable. Her life is safe. So it’s a mystery to everyone, especially her, why she seems to be waiting for something, waiting for an unknown whatever that will never come, like the Queen in that mistelling of her story, who died alone in her throne room with a veil wrapped tight over her eyes.
Background:
Once upon a time, there was a miller and his daughter. The miller was proud and shortsighted, and if his daughter was proud and shortsighted as well, she was also cunning and ambitious and strong in a way her father was not. For she would not be content to live her life as just another miller’s daughter, and she was not content to fade away, to end her life one day as the grieving spinster to some recently deceased farmer. And so on a dark summer night she vanished. No one heard from her for many, many years. And when she finally returned, she was a miller’s daughter no more.
The girl was a woman now, and had learned the secrets of the earth and the moon, and she could turn tears into iron, and spin straw into gold. With her powers, she ensorcelled the land, and she stormed the fortress of the king. She took three wires of pure gold, wrapped them around the king’s neck, and with a quick snap removed his head from his body, and, moments later, his crown from his head. The woman, the Pale Queen they called her now, was quick to establish her new dominion.
The newfound rule of the Pale Queen soon attracted the strange creatures of the world to her kingdom, the goblins and elves and werewolves, and all other manner of beasts. She let them have their way with the land (as long as they remembered who was in control). And among her court was one elf of particular note: the Prince of the Imp-Lands.
At first he reveled with the Queen and her court, and watched her cover the provinces with shadow, and thunder, and twilight, whatever her strange agenda demanded from day to day. But as the years went by, the Prince found he could no longer turn a blind eye to her cruelty, and on a bright winter morning he confronted her at the top of the highest tower.
“My Queen, do you not hear the screaming of your people?” he asked her.
They are not my people, she told him. They are my creatures, and my servants.
“My Queen, do you not see the burning of your homeland?” he asked her.
Yes, she told him. Some days, I wish to see burning. So I make it so.
“My Queen, what will our descendants say of us, one hundred years from now?” he asked her.
There will be no descendants, she told him. My court will be forever. Or else it will vanish, and it will take the land with it.
With great regret, the Prince saw that there was no reasoning with the Queen. And so he attacked.
For three days and three nights they dueled. Where they fought at the top of the tower, the sky clouded over, and lightning and thunder roared across the land. It seemed they were equally matched. But at the end of each day, through sorcery and trickery, the Queen would tear away from the Prince one of his names of power, and she would claim them for her own. And on the third day, when she taken and devoured all three of his true, secret names, the power of the Prince was broken.
But by consuming his names, the Queen now saw the world through his eyes, through the eyes of Rumpl Cimpr Campr, and what she saw horrified her. She looked for the imp-prince, desperate to return the names, but it seemed that sometime during the final night of their magnificent duel he vanished, or maybe died.
The other wild creatures quickly sensed something was amiss with their sovereign. Whispering of curses and evil omens, they fled the kingdom of the Pale Queen, and so she was left alone in her fortress. When she cast her gaze over the land, she saw that is was dark, and that houses were boarded up, and that no lights were on anywhere to be seen.
Everything was different now, and things would never, ever be the same again. The Queen, however, couldn’t believe that. So she waited in her throne room with a veil to cover her eyes, waiting for Rumpl Cimpr Campr to return and take back his names and free her. Until her dying day, she waited there, clinging to the impossible hope that things could be the way they once were, and the things she’d seen with unclouded eyes could somehow be unseen, and undone.
Though the story traditionally ends, in all its variants, with an “...until her dying day…” the Pale Queen never died, not really. Eventually, after decades left alone inside that broken-down throne room, rain sprinkling in from the ceiling and weeds sprouting up from every crevice, the Queen realized that she had made her bed, and that she would be lying in it forever. But even afterwards, nothing really changed. The Queen took to walking her old kingdom, now a twilight place where the sun can’t shine, full of ash and thorny gardens and places where plants wouldn’t grow. She may have left an old and unhappy life behind her, but the Pale Queen was never able to replace it. She’s a woman caught in the in-between, endless possibilities in front of her, but dark and unhappy thoughts keeping her from going past the starting line. She spent the next few decades siletnyl cultivating what was left of her magicked and unsettled ghost-kingdom, and was never either especially happy nor especially sad. Maybe just a little regretful, with the names of the imp-prince still ringing somewhere in the back of her head.
Though not the type to show it, the Queen was eager to join the Great Exodus. The promise of a new start was enthralling and, dare she say it, exciting. With the ability to spin gold out of straw, it wasn’t hard for her to set up a nice place for herself at the Reine apartment complex, and she makes a fair living selling her ambiguously ensorcelled jewelry and knick knacks to weirdos on the internet, and maybe one or two local jewelry places. Sometimes, she takes walks in the park.
But all in all, life changed very little for Eissen, from here to there, the Homelands to the New World. She rarely leaves her apartment, and fills it the bursting with a hundred and one glittering, tinkling, faintly moving knick-knacks. To some hidden part of her, this is a crushing disappointment, and some days keeps her from getting out of bed. Everything was different, but in many ways nothing was. Though she would never admit it, Eissen is quietly glad if anyone, anyone at all, feels like visiting, and is quite welcoming to anyone who wishes to stop by and say hello.
Skills and Abilities: Shackled with the three names of power stolen from the imp-prince, Eissen’s old magic has been greatly diluted. However, the ability to harden tears into pure iron and spin gold out of straw remains the same as the day she learned it, and, if the situation arises, she can still invoke the four names of power still in her possession.
Rumpl: The first name of the imp-prince. To invoke the name Rumpl is to call on the winds from the imp-lands, cold and disorderly and more than eager to cause trouble. Rumpl, the wind-weaver’s name, can summon these biting and eerie gusts of air to make all manner of mischief.
Cimpr: The second name of the imp-prince. To invoke the name Cimpr is to call on the privileges of the elf-folk, to walk without being noticed or being heard, and to slip through the tiniest of gaps. The power of Cimpr, the elf-child’s name, won’t work if attention is already focused on her.
Campr: The third name of the imp-prince. To invoke the name Campr is to defy the powerful and the cruel, and the Pale Queen can use it to shatter or block off another piece of magic, and prevent its master from invoking it again in the immediate future. Campr, the hero’s name, is especially taxing to Eissen, and uses up an entire day’s worth of magical power, if not much more.
Frampt: The true name of the Pale Queen. To invoke the name Frampt is to conjure the power of the woman from long ago who was lord and master of an entire kingdom. Frampt, the ruler’s name, allows her to share her long lost magical abilities with others, to veil them from sight, shield them from harm, and bestow strength and endurance. Frampt doesn’t drain Eissen as much as the other names of power.
Gold-Spinning: Similar to Campr, spinning gold take an enormous amount of magical energy, but it’s still within the Pale Queen’s reach. Hand in hand with that, Eissen sincerely enjoys craftsmanship and jewelry, and spends most of her time tinkering with her toys and creations.
Eissen does not need food or air to live, though she does require a reasonable intake of water. She heals slightly faster and more efficiently than most, though it’s not especially noticeable.
Starting Items and Trinkets: Eissen still has her old crown, tucked away in her closet. It brings up a mixed bag of feelings, and she neither likes looking at it, nor likes the idea of throwing it away.
Eissen keeps a handgun with her, just in case. It’s a scary world out there, and though she doesn’t exactly seize life by the reigns, Eissen would, by and large, prefer not to get killed if given the option.
Her home is filled with strange, mostly pointless knick-knacks of her own making, some of which, like the little knives or paperweights, might be of tangential usefulness.
Weaknesses and Flaws Doubter: Eissen has just about zero self-faith, and would never rely on herself or allow others to rely on her for anything important.
Emotional Exhaustion: These days, Eissen Frampt is a tired woman who’d really rather not deal with your crazy, magical messes, thank you very much. Both physically and emotionally, invoking the names of power is a draining piece of magic, and she can manage maybe one every thirty minutes, give or take. She doesn't find much interest in actively shaping the world around her, and if you really need her help, it'll take one heck of a motivational speech to rouse her to action
An Unfortunate Archetype: Evil Queens (the ones who survive, at least) are just about the worst sign of bad luck among Tales, and are widely considered unpleasant and unpopular. You don’t trust an Evil Queen character, you don’t help an Evil Queen character, and you try your darndest not to associate with an Evil Queen character. Needless to say, Eissen’s reputation isn’t the best, and she’s not the sort who’d go out of her way to fix that.
Passive to a Fault: While maybe her ability to go with the flow can be a positive trait, there’s no denying that Eissen is an enormously passive person, and will often fail to fight when she ought to fight, and fail to hit the ground running when she should've started sprinting twenty minutes ago.
Squishy Wizard: When it comes down to it, Eissen is simply a physically average person. Unusually tall, of course, decently fit, and maybe against someone much smaller she could use her size to her advantage, but other than that the Pale Queen has only ever dealt with the magical side of the world, and with magical threats. A few quick punches to the face would probably knock her out of the running.
Other: She’s not really aware of it, but Eissen can be quite the magpie, and has a fascination with shiny and curious objects.
Though she'll never bring it up, Eissen can be very vain, and a little proud. She won't complain much about insults or mispronouncing her name, but flattery will win you maybe more points than it ought to.
Oh man is that a thing people do? Like, just post [WIP Post] with nothing else in it? Doesn't that basically grind the RPG to a halt while you're waiting on that one person to finish their post?
I don’t know about you, but when I write a long descriptive moment I make sure every detail is important whether it is introspection, description, narration, or characterization. Not every writer who writes long form is “padding” their ideas with meaningless filler. It’s paper thin critique and argumentation if so, if you ask me.
I'm not critiquing anyone or anything specifically. I'm just saying that, when approaching a piece, length for the sake of length is a bad practice, and avoiding shortness because you don't want to be seen as low-effort is similarly bad. For example, this was from the mods' RP Guide on an old forum I used to RP on, addressing the struggle to hit the required word-count for posts:
One thing that you must always remember is that adjectives are your friend.
"Nathaniel Long cut the mans head from his shoulders with one swing of his sword."
Whilst that is perfectly ok, its not great and as such can be drastically improved.
"Nathaniel Long parted the mans head from his neck, feeling slight resistance as he cut through the spinal cord, with one colossal swing of his motorized blade."
Remember no matter what you do you can always be more descriptive. Even then you can go into more detail. In that example above I could have written about how flecks of the mans blood were flying of the blade and how blood pored out of his neck like a water fountain.
Like, adjectives are adjectives, they're not your enemy or your friend. I don't think you can say either the first or the second thing here is inherently better than the other, but it's definitely not right to approach your writing with the mindset of, "the more I describe, the better it will be."
I dunno, I think regardless of what kind of writer you are, it is really important to be aware of how much space you're devoting to description, and how long you're making a scene last, and to always be asking yourself why am I writing this? and what is it adding to the story?
I've just seen way too many writers all over the place who just have so much more baggage in their writing than there needs to be, and I think it's easy to conflate shortness with lack of effort when, just like long description, short and to the point writing is a tool just as useful as anything else.
Lol or you could just pull a Goblin Emperor and just have zero context whatsoever. Hey, if Katherine Addison can write a great novel that tells the audience all of jack shit and get a Locus Award for it, why can't we?
@Mercenary Lord Nah man I've skimmed Beyond the Storms, you can definitely write description well and not have it bog things down.
I think unnecessary and fluffy description comes from the fact that, since players put so much love and effort into their characters and the world they build, the first instinct can be to try and cram every last detail that was in their head into the writing, like they're narrating a movie scene that's playing in their brain. But like, writing isn't a visual medium, and it's a given that no matter what you do, you're going to have to leave a certain amount to be imagined in the reader's head, and it won't be the exact same as the way you'd imagined it. And description that focuses too much on the visual side of things especially is when it gets kinda fluff-feeling. Like that one character who has maybe three sentences describing physical appearance and posture and the general tone of the character on their sheet, but a paragraph-and-a-half describing their clothing and weapons, with zipper-color, shoulder pads, and multiple swords all given just as much attention as posture and face-shape.
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