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I'm really sorry. I'm just having a mental break down. Okay? So I'm going to take a break from role playing, so it can be one less anxiety. I love the rps and everything, but I feel like I can't do anything justice and I keep having to make people wait and that's not fair. I have legit reasons, but there are too many of them piling up. Illness, family drama, you name it. It's one thing after another. But mostly, it's just me. I'm just really sick. Deep down.
So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.
I'm guessing this RP will need to be put on hold as well since it is such a small group. Or you guys can go on without me. I'd understand. (By this I mean someone taking over as the temporary GM and playing Nixie until I come back or if that is not your style, feel free to adapt the idea and make a new RP. Just don't copy paste from my OOC.)
I'm sorry.
I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.
I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)
When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.
So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.
I'm guessing this RP will need to be put on hold as well since it is such a small group. Or you guys can go on without me. I'd understand. (By this I mean someone taking over as the temporary GM and playing Nixie until I come back or if that is not your style, feel free to adapt the idea and make a new RP. Just don't copy paste from my OOC.)
I'm sorry.
I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.
I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)
When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.
I'm really sorry. I'm just having a mental break down. Okay? So I'm going to take a break from role playing, so it can be one less anxiety. I love the rps and everything, but I feel like I can't do anything justice and I keep having to make people wait and that's not fair. I have legit reasons, but there are too many of them piling up. Illness, family drama, you name it. It's one thing after another. But mostly, it's just me. I'm just really sick. Deep down.
So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.
FaithRose, I give you full permission to be the substitute GM and move and do with my characters what you want, even if that means leaving them behind for a time (if it becomes too much to control them all. Please don't kill them. You can do with Lloyd what we talked about if you want to.)
I'm sorry.
I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.
I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)
When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.
So I'm taking a break from pretend. I wish sometimes you could take a break from real life as well.
FaithRose, I give you full permission to be the substitute GM and move and do with my characters what you want, even if that means leaving them behind for a time (if it becomes too much to control them all. Please don't kill them. You can do with Lloyd what we talked about if you want to.)
I'm sorry.
I had this heartfelt write out of what I am feeling right now and I was going to message it to one of my friends. She used to be my best online friend but she suffers from anxiety and everything and doesn't talk to me anymore, but only every 5,6,7 months and barely a message from here or there. I initiate every conversation. We used to talk 24/7 for a good 4-5 years, but now she avoids everything to do with her "past life" because it is hard on her. She moved from Maine to Sweden to be with her boyfriend, which was a big culture shock for her since she has a phobia of social situations and being around people in general. I guess this is why she started to shut everyone out.
I want to send her the message, but maybe my reasons are just selfish. I want my best friend back but I know things change for a reason and we don't always like the changes.(Maybe I just wish I still had someone I could share those words with and not feel judged. She used to get me like we were twin sisters.)
When I'm like this, I ramble. But you can see the state my mind has been in. I'm not feeling creative at all. I'll just crawl under some rocks because now I've probably embarrassed myself. I should not be around the computer when I'm upset.
Sorry for the hold up on my characters end. Everyone in the house is sick, including a cranky 1 year old (Which most of the responsibility is put on my shoulders for him since I'm his stay at home caregiver. )
I forgot to add that the posts were really great. Thank you. I'll try to get a reply out as soon as possible. ;)
Sorry for the hold up. Everyone in the house is sick, including a cranky 1 year old (Which most of the responsibility is put on my shoulders for him since I'm his stay at home caregiver. )
I meant no offense by anything said MC & SF. I'm tired, sick and just plain not in the greatest mind set at the moment. It has nothing to do with anything online. Just IRL things. Though on the bright side, one of my cats just tried to "sneak" very slowly until she was laying on my arms while I'm typing this. She thinks I didn't notice. It's cute and brightens things up.
Just a reminder. I also posted this on my other RP. This is more for my peace of mind, so I can feel less guilty since lately I've been going through some stuff and my updates have been slower than usual. FaithsRose can control my characters, so this RP can still move on without me (But all I ask is that you do not to take it several pages or more in my absence or do any major plot twist type things. )
Just be aware that there are times when I can't be online. I get sick(some actual chronic pain, illness and mental things), real life drama, full time nanny for a 1 year old, and unreliable Internet at times. I can't always update, so if it's been 1-7 days, don't panic or anything. Now if it's been a month or more, than something serious must have happened. I will try to keep my threads and sig updated.
This role play and my Moonstruck role play are my 2 serious group RPs that I don't plan on quitting any time soon (ever) Be patient and bear with me. That is all I ask. ;)
(Also MC I will accept your new character, but try not to have her to be too over the top morbid, psycho, evil (and such) I do not want there ending up being two Cat types. One is enough. Also, don't just shove her in randomly. Wait for the perfect moment to have her make an entrance, even if that is 20 pages from now, or 5 pages or when the characters are no longer in the farmhouse. )
Just be aware that there are times when I can't be online. I get sick(some actual chronic pain, illness and mental things), real life drama, full time nanny for a 1 year old, and unreliable Internet at times. I can't always update, so if it's been 1-7 days, don't panic or anything. Now if it's been a month or more, than something serious must have happened. I will try to keep my threads and sig updated.
This role play and my Moonstruck role play are my 2 serious group RPs that I don't plan on quitting any time soon (ever) Be patient and bear with me. That is all I ask. ;)
(Also MC I will accept your new character, but try not to have her to be too over the top morbid, psycho, evil (and such) I do not want there ending up being two Cat types. One is enough. Also, don't just shove her in randomly. Wait for the perfect moment to have her make an entrance, even if that is 20 pages from now, or 5 pages or when the characters are no longer in the farmhouse. )
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