Scaling of power is fine. With "a city leveling dragon" being the very top of power you could hope to reach. The reaper should be around, certainly, but said reaper shouldn't steal the spotlight. Hence, he can be used for supplies, directions,...
Edward multi-rolling as DPS & Tank is not 'fine'.
In case this strikes you as unappropriately rude to say, let me further examplify what I'm refering to by comparing all characters using: - Analyses. - (First impressions/thoughts that come to mind)
Ravadons abilities are 2-handedness, A singing sword that can coat itself in tree or something (Currently MIA, replaced by Gladius) and being sexy around fruits and veggies.(some usefull some silly) Ravadons weaknessess include pride, seeking false honor, bad vision in his left eye, sleepy temper and overconfidence. (some annoying and some silly)
Isabella's abilities are an earthen sword that listens only to her that can split any ground, knowing every crevice in Dragan and has some connections via her royal birth-right. (Pretty weak when on sand, pretty OP when on top of a tower) Isabella's weaknessess include stubborness with frustration over failure & coldheartedness. (The former can be fatal, the later can be lived with)
Kiera has got healing powers, daggers and some poisons. (advanced healing: Limbs get re-attached, blind can see again!, poisons that could stop a heart by chance?) Kiera's weaknesses include Naive, absent-minded, spiteful, vain and selfish. (And so, only HER limbs shall get attached again!)
Sykes abilities include ancient system access key, learning new languages, learning new info, can use guns, bows and knifes, tracks things, being fit, can be stealthy, gets access to "google maps" from eagles eye view. (woohoo, high tech/ancient tech and plot advancements!) Sykes weaknesses are being cynical, jaded, detachment from events at large, Considering all races that aren't human his servants, grief and emotional strain. (the troubled reality-detached "Purist?" engineer that can get reckless if you find his triggers... no springs attached.)
Grace is a greatsword swinger, that is currently multi-classing as level 1 mage, can tell when someone is lying, but not pin it down specifically. All in all strong, but struggling without real weaponry and armour. (As if she's trying to make up for multi-classing) Grace's weaknesses include being brainwashed into serving her church, doubting her upbringing and loyalties, can't smuggle weapons when she's disguised and being self-depricating.
And then, there's Edward. (Whose Bio I'm reading off of page 10 in the OOC in stead of from the character tab, by the way.)
The armorless person that needs no armor because he has scales. The weaponless person that needs no weapons due to his claws. Unless it is convenient for him to use weapons or shielding. He has a strange fighting style. (<= though any person could ask themselves what that actually means.) He can use Ice magic and basically "the light side of The Force". (Seems to indicate to me that he means to fight a "unique" mixture of drunken style kung-fu that is also going to be used to throw enemies off guard and then hit them with and icey magic ray that freezes them before "overwhelming dragon might force push" destroys them all instantly.)
Edwards flaws: He doesn't know what's going on, bad attitude, lazy and thus doesn't show his strength unless on the battlefield, walks into the enemies camp and asks them what's for dinner. EDIT: He can't undo his monster-dragon-state and has a thing that can happen when it does/could. ( A. At this point in the story and probably also from hereon, hardly anyone knows, so how is this a flaw? B. Can be defined better than "Bad attitude". What's bad about it? Is he sassy all the time? Doesn't he eat with his mouth closed? C. Lazyness towards fighting unless the battlefield is nearby doesn't sound like a real characterflaw. There's plenty of others that don't seem active unless they are on a battlefield. Generally, these are patrolling guards. D. Its an obvious move, sounds like it's dumb and could get him into trouble. But, i find it hard to refer to this as being his "flaw" )
The reason these questions(A-D) come up is the following:
It sounds (to me) like Edwards weakness is only there to "accentuate" his strength with extra bonuses. A) Nullified weakness and general truth B) Undefined and thus exploitable C) General truth about people D) Accentuation of strength, despite being a means by which he could get killed
Now, I'm not saying you're a bad writer. I'm not saying I envy you or your character. I'm not saying that you were being unfair, pulling fanfiction out of a hat or anything like that.
What I am saying right now, is that if I take your character and pit him up against any of the others, be it one or either, be they completely nude, equiped with one weapon or completely geared up, I don't see any way or means by which they could ever end in anything close to a stalemate with Edward. Let alone ever come out on top of the guy. I think we can both agree that such a thing is OP when compared to the rest of the party. And in this case, the fantasy world.
Now, an OP character wouldn't pose that big of a problem, if it weren't the idea that he was the fantasy equivalent of superman in a party of "pretty commoners". I use this comparison to hint at why your character shouldn't be playing DPS and tank at the same time:
What's left for the rest of the party to do? Serve and tend to the OP heroes needs of the story? Unlocking new ways for the hero to smite the enemies he faces?... For me, this question seems harder to answer.
DPS + Tank (Which according to your charactersheet can also do Magic Per Second & monk fist) are the most important roles/the only needed in a world of fantasy, if powerful enough.
Speaking of the power... Why can Edward reach the ceiling of power? Example: => Talking back loudly to the great dragon that levels cities with a morning stroll and challenging him to a fight convinced he will win. Problem: => Ravadon, (who is the specified proud/vain trillalla-talks too much incarnate,) gets humbled and tries to skip one of such powerlevels.
It shows unspoken fearlessness(as in, the only way to find out about it is trying to read in between the lines of your charactersheet). It shows disconnect from the world (as in, either your character has to be oblivious to the fact that he could be destroyed instantly which should have been added to your charactersheet or he's such an Apex Predator that human life is beneath him because he could end it all in an OP fashion of literal mass consumption).
I have a hard time picturing where the progression is in your character? Does he stop walking into enemy camps? Does he get OP beyond siege weaponry?
The reason for that is that Edward really hasn't tanked anything. Being swung at with a sword seemed not to have the least effect on him, how much less should we expect from a spear? an axe? a mace? The entire royal army for that matter?
Edwards "OP levels of awesome" can steal away spotlight moments, will seems out of place when compared to the rest of the cast, will get even more stronger and requires all the seven dragonballs to be gathered as the 24 moons align in order for him to be vulnerable again. Also, he can eat all he want and never grow fat.
I can tell by the way you write about him and his actions that you like him and I don't want to take your character away from you. But as a good writers saying goes: "Kill your darlings"
I can't help but fear for his future and personal tolerance for the way he is handled.
Needles to say, you needeth change anything yet if you don't feel like it. I would just suggest you to take this into consideration the next time Edward gets a chance to shine in his strengths or is challenged in his weakness.
We can all have reason to see the salamander again several times. We could even make our quest about finding him. "Excuse me, sir. We brought a clerk and are looking for a Big Red dragon that can destroy cities and randomly knows peoples names and marks their hands with a mark just like this. ... No, we don't know what's in your pit of doom but we could take a look for some gold and a bed to sleep in?"
"Excuse me, sir. We are looking for an ancient dragon that might know of old technological burial grounds?"
"Excuse me, sir. We're lookin for a Dragon of about..... This..... big. I need to talk to him about his emotions. Have you seen him? ... sir, no I'm not here to claim your soul. Sir, why are you running? ... sir... *defeated sigh*"
To give some helpful insight, Ravadon has some questions: "Why mark me when I cower away from the honor/glory/pride of fighting?" "Why put me through something hurtful like the mark?" "Why attack a city and steal their pretty princess?" "How did you know my name? I didn't even say it yet that loudly." "Why do you seem to know Edward?" "What's your side of the story in relation to the reaper as this is something I'm planning on asking the the reaper first."
1. You're fine. 2. By letting him do what makes him heroic: Questing 3. By taking away power and or making even more powerfull villains that remain hidden and send menacing henchmen towards the two (menace while they quest/reasons for quests) 4. Training montage! => (A couple months pass, in this time, please state how your characters have spent their time, but talk it over with the GM first.) 5. Ehh.. well.. The flow of time is not something that always mixes and matches everything together nicely... O.o But then again, a second and or third problem/distraction can give other plotpoints time to develop. 6. Weak king. Compared to what? Weak financially? Weak emotionally? Does he not have a list of "close friends that owe him a favor or 42" or is he physically weakened? O.o 7. They don't know that actually. I'm certain it won't take another bodyscorching to convince ravadon the dragon did something bad to him. A prophecy, a doomsayer, a magazine(with the dragons dirty laundry in it) in the hands of the right person... 8. Planning. The void does what to cause all these events to happen? Does it burn down powerstructures? Does it hold the dragon captive? Does it seek to summon an ancient evil that would take over the void and doom the world? O.o
You mean 1 post every 3 days or 1 post every week?
I've often contemplated using posting rate requirements, but it always leaves a bad taste in my mouth, eepecially considering how the original The Faraway Land ended. I'm not convinced yet that it's necessary.
Well, I was thinking about it. But I guess I can't really blame others when they can't make it. I'm certain everyone here is devoted and trying. That being said, maybe we should put a rate on there, even if it is just to remind us all that we could post.
Well this is a message to all you skuz bags and the like. I have been having fun and enjoying this so to you all I wish a happy Holiday/Marry Christmas because I am too lazy to find you all and give gifts. So for the one night on this planet we call earth I welcome ya with all the Southern hospitality I have (which on a normal day isn't much, be lucky) into this house of mine (even if its just a virtual moment and I can't really see ya) and give thanks for the time we spend with each other.
Dirt Bags.
(Disclaimer: for the moments where I am calling you dirt bags and skuz bags its a joke. Marry Christmas.)
Any feedback on the RP? I feel like I'm missing something, like a good villain or something.
Oh yeah, you missed something alright.
"General conduct for Rpers":If you lose interest in an RP do not just vanish; politely with (SPACE) draw. xD The internal grammar nazi is not within this one! ~plagerueis the wise~
In summary, all the post says: "Communication is key and respect eachother in any way I can think of. But because I can't think of them all, here's a list for now that needs updating anytime between 5 days and 3 months over the course of the past 2 years (and longer if I read correctly...)"
Seems to me, you're fine. If you want to 'improve yourself' because you feel the need to, let nothing stop you, I'd say. Just know that I think you are a wonderful GM and am happy to participate in your rp. ^^
Ravadon was held up for a little while longer, realizing his life strength was nearly completely gone, he tried to move desperately. Barely shaking, he could not get his body to make the motions he desired to. As this reality started to settle in his slightly calmed mind, he noticed the new fashion statement in the form of a star on his left hand. Focusing on it, he drew from it the power he needed to move. Whilst still slightly shaken up, a sigh, a moan and a few crackling noises announced his partial recovery. It would not be long before Ravadon would be up, running, yelling and fighting the golems again. Before that time, however, there came a messenger. A young knight, barely out of their teens said: “Edward is on the move to keep the keep.” The boy seemed sinisterly entranced. “And he’s not breathing a lot until you are around.” He started to break down now that he seemed to have fulfilled his temporary duties. Crying, wet pants and talking about how Edward nearly kissing him ensued. Obviously this person was just traumatized and started spewing out whatever came to his confused mind, but the main message came across. To go hunting for more golems, to save this kingdom and to gather real glory on behalf of it, those were the current objectives. After receiving back the one letter he had been in possession of for quite some time, Ravadon picked up Gladius again. Considering the fact that most civilians needed protection, an escape route and to some extend to be fed, healed, unburied and escape, Ravadon revised a plan he had used a few times before. Clearing the road from the market towards the castle, allowing the civilians to escape through the improvised door in the city wall. The surprisingly dragon like hole would expose the escaping people to the wilds and there would certainly be people in need of rescuing from that in time. But for now, it seemed to be the safest option. He said to the reaper: “It seems the time has come. I will travel past the market to the castle, which will allow for a rendezvous with Edward inside. As I hope to catch him before an inferior ends his life. At the same time, I should probably look out for anyone that’s not in a safe place right now. If there’s any golems along the way, I will scrap them. Any chance you’ll do me the honors of keeping me entertained until I get there?”
Upon barely the reapers response, Ravadon began moving towards his destination, making scraps from golems and sometimes gently, pulling civilians out of harms way.
1. What are the possible ways to the castle/the keep. 2. Would the reaper like to follow Ravadon? 3. Is there any chance Ravadon could still pick up some goodies from the market? xD
