Avatar of Sarpedon
  • Last Seen: 6 yrs ago
  • Old Guild Username: Sarpedon
  • Joined: 11 yrs ago
  • Posts: 1097 (0.28 / day)
  • VMs: 2
  • Username history
    1. Sarpedon 11 yrs ago

Status

Recent Statuses

8 yrs ago
Current I'M BACK! Hit me up!
8 yrs ago
Leaving 20 September until 30 October. Going to be a shitty time in the field. Probably going to be a week after that before I even think about writing again.
1 like
8 yrs ago
Going on exercise as of 19 September. Not sure if I am going for 3 or 6 weeks...
8 yrs ago
Vacation time! Will try to keep posting, but can't guarantee anything, please be patient.
2 likes
8 yrs ago
RIP in peace, Bauble. We barely knew ye...
1 like

Bio

ATTENTION:
Course is over! Whoop! Whoop!
I have no fucking clue what the fuck is going on.
Posting speed and availability is subject to change without notice, and I won't have internet when my vacation ends, which is tomorrow...
Thank you, have a nice day!

Most Recent Posts

Oliver nearly fell asleep relaxing in the bath, and it was only when he realized he was dozing off, that he remembered he was supposed to be washing himself. He didn't know how long he'd been soaking, but he barely needed soap to get most of the grime off. Surprisingly, though, the water was still warm. He assumed someone had snuck in and done that for him, and moved on with his life. Once he was clean, the Paladin decided he might as well get out. Of course, he stood up just in time to see someone peeking in. Unashamed, he glared at the slowly opening door, his body glistening in the candlelight as one of the maids poked her head in, only to gasp and retreat.

"My apologies, Ser Oliver." she called out quietly.

"It's fine, don't worry about it." he replied, climbing out of the tub and towelling himself off. Once he was mostly dry, he wrapped the towel around himself. "I'm decent." he called out, and now the maid entered the room completely, a fancy-looking bundle in her arms.

"I brought you some clothes" she offered barely above a whisper. She kept her eyes downcast, but he could see the effects he was having on her, despite her efforts to the contrary.

"Just, uh... Throw them there, I guess... Do you have anything less fancy? I don't plan on entertaining anyone today, I'd like something to lounge in." he wasn't used to women behaving this way around but, but he also wasn't normally a warrior who could very well have been carved marble given his figure.

"Oh. Uh, yes of course. I'll be right back." the woman was recovering remarkably quickly, but that didn't stop her from dashing out to find something else for him to wear.

"Can it be brighter in here?" he asked the room, and it was kind enough to oblige. The lights had dimmed while he snoozed, but hadn't gotten around to brightening again, he supposed. Then it occurred to him that whoever had kept his bath warm had probably dimmed the lights too. Now that he'd pointed it out, though, the room lit up very nicely, like it had been when he'd first walked in. Once he could see properly, Oliver finished drying off, and then began admiring himself in the nearest mirror, flexing and examining his battle scars. So it was for the second time that day that the maid walked in on him naked, and again she was kind enough to gasp and duck out. He grinned to himself when he realized what had happened, but wiped the smile from his face before announcing his decency once more.

"I picked out the comfiest clothes I could find. Please let me know if you decide you'd like something else." the maid set the clothes down where he'd indicated she could set the first set, and disappeared from the room, probably to go tell her friends about walking in on the Paladin while he was naked. Meanwhile, he got dressed. She certainly had picked out comfortable clothes. He had a pair of baggy pants that he might have called sweat pants if they weren't still in the weird, quasi-medieval style of everything in the game, an incredibly soft silk shirt that looked like it wasn't supposed to fit anyone, and was designed purely to be comfortable. and a pair of slippers to round out his lazy sunday look.

"I probably shouldn't be seen like this..." he muttered to himself, wondering what others would think if he were to start wandering around dressed like the laziest, richest man alive. He decided he didn't care for the moment, though. He just wanted to go lounge around, and maybe ambush Sanguine into making out with him some more. Then he remembered that the vampire was supposed to be done her bath fifteen minutes from a while ago. He was pretty sure she should be unoccupied, but supposed she could be anywhere at this point. He decided to start in the living area that was nearby, and headed out, figuring someone should know where she was if he couldn't find her there.

It seemed that it took both of them longer than expected to get ready, though, and he got into the hallway just in time to see someone he was pretty sure was the Guild Master dressed up incredibly nicely. "Holy fuck." the words just kind of tumbled out of his mouth without his consent, not that he would have changed them if he did mean to say something. "I'm super under dressed..." he muttered to himself, but it was too late now, he'd surely alerted her to his presence. He didn't even have enough time to dash back into the bathing room if she reacted like any normal person would when someone starts swearing behind them. Resigning himself to whatever fate awaited people who wandered around under dressed, he decided he might as well press forward. At least then he could find somewhere comfortable to lounge instead of cowering in the bathroom hoping for someone to bring him something fancy and uncomfortable to wear...
@agentmanatee I dunno, go to Britain and ward off his boss long enough for him to post?
@agentmanatee Just because we're renegades doesn't mean we can't take care of our own... Whatever makes you happy, though.
@agentmanatee What happened to no man left behind?
Oliver had forgotten that there were people on standby to help with things like medical aid. He smiled when a maid appeared to escort him to them, and nodded, following happily. That was a lot better than having to put up with a black, blue, and purple torso for however long it took for such extensive bruising to heal. The healers were in the same general direction as the baths too, so that was convenient. He couldn't remember who'd come up with that, but he figured they deserved a commendation for their design skills. That thought didn't stick around long, though, as he was soon confronted with the sight of the witch who looked like she was supposed to be the one to heal him. She jumped up at the sight of the Paladin, and immediately grabbed his hand. Clearly someone had asked her to be ready. He could feel the positive energy flowing through him, and it was only a few seconds before he was feeling better than he had prior to the fight.

"Thank you." he said with a smile when the woman let him go.

"My pleasure." she replied with a wink. He left as quickly as was polite after that, wondering if that was Sanguine's doing. She didn't strike him as the paranoid type, but she had been awfully worried about everything lately. He decided not to sweat it, and focused on his next goal. To get cleaned up, and maybe do some relaxing.

Before he got there, though, he was interrupted by another of the many maids, this one informing him that the Guild Master was currently bathing and that he should wait fifteen minutes if he wanted to talk to her. "I, actually just want to take a bath." he offered in reply, and the woman changed her course immediately.

"Right this way!" she led the way to the other bathing room. He hadn't seen any gender-specific labels, but he supposed it made sense. The maid darted into the room and started up the magical water heater, before laying out everything he could possibly need to wash up. "Are you going to require assistance, Ser Oliver?" She asked as he began undoing the myriad of straps that held his gear onto his body.

"No, I think I will be fine. Thank you, though. That will be all." he replied. The last thing he needed was Sanguine getting the wrong impression, now that he could actually touch her. The maid left with another bow, and he was left to figure out how to put out the water heater on his own. Thankfully, it was a fire-based contraption, so all he had to do was snuff out the flames with his own power. Not the best way of doing things, but he wasn't trained in the art of operating magical artefacts. Once he was naked, and the water had reached the right temperature, he quenched the fire and slipped into the hot water. For a moment, he forgot that he was supposed to be actually cleaning himself, and just relaxed in the hot water. Even in a strange world, surrounded by strange people, he could still enjoy a hot bath with no issues...
probably. I'd be all like "Fuck you dragon, this is a restricted area, get the fuck out." and then I'd get toasted.
Depends what colour it is, plus if it's only ten feet it's probably a little dragon. I'm also one of those "dead right" people. I'd probably be all like "Fuck you dragon, go around." I'd probably also assume I was on drugs, and get angry at whoever else was with me for spiking my consumables. And if I was at work, well, I'd probably have to fight the dragon regardless, as they are a serious security risk...
Oh I know. But would you rather work with an angry amazon, or an amazon who isn't angry at you? Let's be real here, no one wants an angry amazon. I'd rather put up with some weird quirks than piss off a woman who knows how to use a bigass axe...
That's fair I guess...
Oliver liked Sanguine's idea, and nodded at the suggestion, "I'll give that a try." he agreed, heading off to go see what Lanius had cooked up lately. Making his way to the arena was easy enough, and when he got there, he found the guild's beastmaster quietly reading. It seemed she'd helped herself to some armour with slightly better coverage, but only very slightly. She also looked to be honing her Lochaber axe at the same time. Not the most welcoming sight, but the Paladin wasn't too worried about it. At least until she got up.

"Mmh. Here to waste more valuable resources, Ser Oliver?" she growled, getting to her feet. The lithe, muscular woman would have been easy on the eyes if she didn't look so completely enraged. He didn't doubt that axe of hers would be unpleasant if she started swinging.

"I prefer to think of it as committing those resources to improve the defences of the Guild." he replied, speaking softly to avoid the ire of the monster minder

"Fine. Put some armour on. You're not using magic in my arena either." the amazon replied, gesturing to what might have been a changing room. It didn't just have lockers, though, there were also racks of weapons and armour designed for training use. Everything available was heavier, and the weapons were blunted. He sighed at this realization, and changed from his typical light armour, into the much heavier training equivalent. And since he was going to be lacking any magical assistance, Oliver put on a helmet as well. For the purpose of proper training, he found himself an equally large sword to strap to his back, though this one was obviously useless. He also selected the closest imitation to his knife of choice. It was much heavier than the real thing, and he figured it would work better as a blackjack than a tool of merciless finesse, but he wasn't about to argue with Lanius about that. She was far too terrifying to risk pissing off. He also liked being able to take advantage of the training facility she maintained, and upsetting her would only ruin that.

So with that done, he stepped up to his gate looking more like a gladiator than the noble warrior he typically appeared to be. He couldn't see what his opponent was going to be, but he figured it out pretty quickly when the portcullises raised and both combatants took to the sands of the arena. Facing off against him was an Orcticore. Of course. This one had been subdued very thoroughly at some point, as armour plates had been strapped all over it, and its orcish upper body was completely encased in steel. The only thing it lacked was a helmet, likely because the feral thing needed full command of its senses to fight properly. That, and it was almost ten feet tall, so very few things were going to be beating it over the head to begin with.

Oliver shuddered a little as the beast rushed at him. The armour didn't slow it down in the slightest, and even knowing that its claws had been clipped, and its tail had been de-venomed, he was still a little leary about fighting the monster. Then again, its first attempt was utterly useless. He slipped to his right as it rushed him, and the beast slid right on by. Even having anticipated his move, the creature wasn't quick enough to do anything about it. It lashed out with its tail, but he ducked the wild swinging and rushed for the monster's back. It spun faster than he'd hoped, though, and he ended up barrelling head first into the Orcticore's steel-clad chest. It wasn't staggered nearly as much as he was, though, and it wasn't long before the knight found himself being hefted into the air by the straps of his cuirass.

"Fuck you." he growled, grabbing the beast's arm with his left hand, while his right hand produced the blackjack he'd strapped on where his knife should have been. A vicious upward swing into the monster's elbow had it roar in pain, but it failed to let go of him completely. Throwing himself forward into its deadly embrace, he swung angrily for its face, and the wood-and-metal club made solid contact with its jaw. That seemed to stun the monster long enough for him to rip his armour from its grip. But he didn't see the point in dashing away now. He was already up close and personal, where he was going to have to be to beat this thing. So he wrapped his plate-armoured legs around its massive chest and, cocked his arm back to swing again.

Lucky for him, he was paying enough attention to watch its tail coming lashing foward, aiming for his head. Swaying from side to side, he began beating the Orcticore about the head and shoulders. His heavier-than-normal armour did a remarkable job soaking up its enraged blows as the abomination slammed its mailed fists into his sides, though it was starting to take its toll before his own assault produced proper results. At some point he lost the club-thing he'd been swinging with, and now he was holding on for dear life with his legs while throwing vicious haymakers at the beast, simultaneously throwing himself back and forth to stay out of the way of its tail. If that thing made contact, he would surely lose his grip. Finally the pair stumbled over to a wall, and Oliver felt his back slam into the stone. He groaned, but the additional leverage was all he needed to end the fight. He slammed his fist into the Orcticore's temple, and it finally crumpled, sending both combatants to the sand.

Breathing hard and feeling much worse than he'd expected, the Paladin got to his feet, and raised his arms in victory. "I guess that's one way to do things..." Lanius clearly didn't approve.

"Let's see you do better." the warrior challenged. The Beastmaster snorted at that, and tossed her head, clearly unwilling to stoop to his level. "Or come down here and fight me yourself." he added as she stormed away. He knew that wasn't going to happen, when the gate to his changing room opened up once more. He sighed, patted the Orcticore on the head, and then headed back underground to get changed. "Now I need a bath..." he observed with a chuckle. He supposed he would just have to go and see if there was a tub free for him to use. Then maybe Sanguine would have more exciting ideas of what they could get up to. "Wish my magic worked on myself." he grumbled as he observed the bruising beginning to show over his torso. He wasn't injured, but he was going to be sore for a while. But he was pretty sure he'd learned some things about what not to do when fighting an opponent larger than himself in the real world. That was always a good thing. Satisfied that he'd gotten some benefit out of the strange brawl, he collected his things and headed for the baths. He'd gotten a lot sweatier than he'd wanted to, and thanks to the nature of the arena, he had sand just about everywhere he didn't want it...
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