I don't care how long you want it! ;D
Storytime!
So I show up, and it turns out I am the only one prepared. The GM hasn't even shown up yet, and needs to be picked up. His SO is at work, and on top of having a terrible day at work, she is also sick. So he's got his phone out ready to answer her calls at any second. We spent an hour or so, prolly longer, generating characters for the other two players, who weren't even sure which system we were playing when I showed up. Then we got started with my intro. Having rolled up a slightly outlandish character, it took some improv from the GM just to get me into the game. What followed was a half-hour of shenanigans as my character attempted to escape from a city, having landed at the pier furthest from a gate. On top of obviously being a cyborg, he also had spider legs, so everyone hated him on sight. But thanks to his spider legs, he could climb walls no problem. Of course, I would roll a natural 20 to get most of the way up the wall in one go, and then the next round I wouldn't get higher than a 10 and end up back on the ground. And when I got over the wall, I ended up getting tangled in the same ropes that let me get down safely. After a natural 1 at the start of my attempt to escape prison my character was summarily executed. It was hilarious the whole time, though. I had a good time.
So then we moved on to intro number two for the other two players while I did some final prep on my back-up character. The GM gave one of them a solid end-goal, but she wouldn't run with it. She encountered the other player, and they ended up non-committally following a caravan that was heading in the vague direction of their goal. My character was posing as a caravaner and tried to pry anything out of them, and despite the best efforts of myself and the GM they wouldn't split off from the group and go do the quest, and then I got attacked by our back-up main character's lizard-dog. A well-timed and possibly scripted call from the GM's SO resulted in us switching systems after nearly a two-hour IRL adventure where I took my tiny two-seater truck all over the city with the GM to pick up his very sick SO. Then we got back and switched back to D&D
Last time we left off imposing heavily on the hospitality of a surprisingly angry blind gnome who was also very good with magical stuff. We were given two options. We could get in line and spend the day trying to get into Baldur's Gate before nightfall, or we could spend the day at The Green Man Inn and Tavern, and at the bazaar set up across the road by a surprisingly large caravan of calimshani merchants.
Playing a Kobold, my first decision is "I'm going to the bazaar, and I'm going to find the magic items vendor paying the least amount of attention." a barely flubbed roll later and I'm being watched like a hawk. My next declaration of "Next vendor" followed by a 19 modified up to a 21 netted me a magic lamp. This wasn't full on Aladdin, though. I only got one wish, and I didn't know if it was a genie or a djinn or a demon or what was in it. But I'm playing a kobold warlock. All I want is the power to kill all the gnomes. But I'm intelligent enough to know that wishes need to be either vague enough that I can't lose, or iron-clad contracts. So I went the vague route because I didn't have a wish-lawyer handy.
Of course, I couldn't just use the lamp anywhere. The Calimshani people everywhere would know immediately what was going on and freak out. So I spent the rest of the game trying to find a quiet place to rub the lamp and get my wish. At one point I was captured, knocked unconscious, and about to be eaten. I woke up in time to grab the lamp that had been carelessly left beside me, before our half-giant GMPC tore the entire wall out of a caravan wagon to get me out. What followed was the 6'4" dragonborn in what are probably lifted boots, and the half-giant running amok through the bazaar. They did a couple laps of the place before escaping to the packed tavern. It was mostly standing room, so they found seats and managed to disappear with some aggressive stealth rolling. From there, I was berated and ordered to stop my shenanigans. But I still hadn't made a wish. So more shenanigans it was.
After our bard cast a disguise spell on me, I fucked off to the woods, and managed to get my wish. I am now a +1 Kobold of Spell Storing. Everyone within 30 feet of me gets a free extra cast of any spell they've already prepared for that day, up to one level below their maximum. So it tops out at 8th for most casters, and 4th for me. And the best part is, it works for me too!
Of course, right after I get my wish, a fuckin' owlbear runs up and just starts wrecking my shit. I took 14 of my 20 hit points after a glancing blow, and died of my wounds as it accidentally threw me through a tree. But I passed my death save, and with the help of our latest NPC, this one introduced through my near-death experience, I survived. Barely. She cast a healing spell on me, and then picked me up and threw a perfect spiral most of the way to the road, before slaughtering the owlbear with the help of her dire wolf companion. I almost died again from the falling damage, and was rendered unconscious. But I recovered, and found the rest of my party still with the gnome that the kobold is hating more every time they meet.
The collar that used to be on the dragonborn's rogue companion was promptly clapped around my neck as they vaguely explained what had gone on in my absence. It tells the dragonborn where I am at all times, and if he rolls a better will check than I do, I am forced to take the shortest route back to him at any time.
Meanwhile, while I was off in the woods getting sick powers, the party rogue pickpocketed Malfeas flawlessly. But it was a trap. And now we're supposed to work for a wizard. But kobolds don't work for wizards. The bard won't either. So it's going to be a split party, and it's going to be a riot XD Plus, the bard has been kind to the kobold, so he'll pretty well do whatever she wants if she bothers to ask. She seems to mostly get drunk and hang out with the gnome though XD
It was super fun, but it was a super late night.
