Adelisa heard the door slam shut and she jumped from the couch, falling onto the ground. Her eyes were wide and reddened, looking around for the source of the slam. She was now alone. She was always… alone. Adelisa stood up and shook her head, almost like it was easier to just shake off the self-hate than to wallow in it as she had done just minutes ago. She stood up silently and walked into her room, not caring to shut the door.
She had to leave. If she stayed, she would probably try to drown herself in alcohol. Her eyes went to the window and she sighed. The only place she could see herself was travelling the world and creating smiles all around the world, even if she does not smile as much as everyone around her. She softly hummed a song as she started collecting her clothes and packing. All she had to pack were her clothes she changed out of, but she was in a slow mood so it took long enough for her to stop and start singing.
pulled away to face the pain.
I close my eyes and drift away.
Over the fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul.
And I will wander 'til the end of time
Torn away from you.
The song was meant for sorrow. It was her way of release, if she couldn't drink she'd sing. Adelisa closed her eyes and swayed.
My heart is broken
Sweet sleep, my dark angel
Deliver us from sorrow's hold
(Over my heart)
Tears fell as the song continued, but it was almost a relief. Her heart fell into the lyrics like a lover losing her other half. In which, it was sort of true. Adelisa lost her lover to his own thought process. She lost him to other people's thoughts. If Adelisa were to sail the same boat he was on, she'd surely jump.
I can't go on living this way
But I can't go back the way I came
Chained to this fear that I will never find
A way to heal my soul
And I will wander 'til the end of time
Half alive without you
She stopped and fell onto her bed. It was the lyrics that made her feel better, but the tone fell into her heart and sank it with it's heavy anchor. She looked out of the window and took in a deep breath.