Before I start this off, I'd like to speak frankly and bluntly: Go ahead and give me criticism, I'd like to call it "motivation". And, hopefully, I won't be online (and alive) after this shit's been posted. This is the only place where I can vent and if the Tard-Wranglers will take it off, then fucking L. I'd like to just tell my story.
I've been pushed too far, I have many reasons for my impending doom. This could've ended any other way, I could've snapped and sent to juvie or some shit like that, but no, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm basically a threat to society, and I don't want to go to a Tard Asylum, ugh. Anyways, this is for everyone who helped me get pushed so far to edge of me not caring at all what happens. Thank you bullies that have stuck with me all these years, I still remember myself crying alone, curled up in a ball. Thank you, friends, who supplied me with a limited number of false happiness and pleasure, that I have now been feeding on, as a broken, empty shell of my former self. Thank you, my sister, for not being supportive enough and being a total bitch. And my biggest thank you of all, and he even deserves an award, is my father: Who through my pre-teen - now years been calling me, "useless, dumbass, fucker, bitch, retard, autistic, disgrace, failure, etc," just to name one of very few. Thank you father, for all the threats on my well being, and sometimes even threatening to kill me. And thank you for today's beat up, as I did nothing, and when you DID find out I did something wrong, it was AFTER the numerous blows to my head. Sadly, I have many regrets and apologies to give to many people. I'm regret being a pussy in my relationship goals, and if I somehow be alive after this, I'd probably still stay one. I'm sorry, my true friends, for being such a dick, you're very important to me, but sadly, there are few of you, and none are trust worthy for me to vent to you. Though my biggest apology is to my Mother. Mom, I'm sorry about what my Father did to you recently, maybe if I called the police, or pressured someone to call the police, then maybe shit'll be different. I cannot speak for that monster of a father, though I'm sorry for my constant headaches, I assure you, after I'm done with this, you won't have any headaches. Now the problem of how I will execute this master plan, my closet may be a bit short, and cutting myself too much, so I know that all I have to do is jump and everything will fade soon. If the noose breaks, then I have cords, if the closet is too short, then I'll go to the forest, at least there, i can have time to look around. I really REALLY hope I die today, and if there is a God, then please let me die, I literally have no use in this world, fucking smite me for all I care, just kill me, or give me a way out. I hope you all pray for my death now.
Peace out fuckers, and I hope this is my last thing I say to everyone before shit goes haywire: The fucker, Jaeden, AKA The Sewer Rat.
Cole
ruler of spades
Izurich
Little Bill