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    1. Shorticus 9 yrs ago
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I think the worst/funniest thing about this is they used "to be or not to be" in the totally wrong story. C'mon, guys, that's Hamlet. You're just being rude now.

Or does this dorky book have a Hamlet section, too?

EDIT: Oh, I see. The title. SRSLY Hamlet.

...Okay.
The characters you are currently RPing as run into each other at a bar. How does it go?


My giant lizard woman probably murders the living crap out of whoever had the gall to run into her in a bar. Violently. With a giant trident. Well, she might just rip them apart with her bare hands; that'd be normal.

Any of the other lizard women from the same thread would respond similarly. They're macho as fuck.
Random rant:

(About myself.) DEVIATION. Oh Lord, forgive me, former partners, when my character doesn't like yours in the end or act awkward in some many parts.

Sometimes when I sign up for a private roleplay listing for specific pairings, I create characters that were honest to goodness designed solely to be the soulmate of my partner's muse.

And then in my head, the character breathes on its own and I realise, at one point, my muse would be turned off or uninterested in their supposed "true love". So I either try to shove in an enforcement plot device to somehow make the initial plan work, or my character starts acting like Cupid hit it in the sun don't shine - painful, awkward, but mostly just painful to watch.

Either ends tragically, just in case you're not seeing the picture here. And it makes me feel like a sudden shower and flash flood when I promised the weatherman I'd be an awesome sunny day.


I'm a gamer, my psycho ex was a gamer too... amazing how similar interest can be what you feel should build a relationship, but many times that's not the case.

Even though a roleplay can have people playing as lovers, it doesn't always work out because how people perceive the relationship are completely different. That's why many stories that involve love seem to be a bit far fetched with scenes that would never happen. All those movies where the guy and girl are left alone after the crowd vacates the scene for no reason, the moment when they kiss and it starts raining at that exact point in time, when they lie in bed together and... (wait... do people use condoms in Smuts or is there Smut STDs everywhere... Sorry, Off-topic).

Anyways... In order to get a relationship going in an RP you probably have to break the laws of realism a bit to help with that. Purposely forget that important detail that they wouldn't forget so that they end up together, or make it so unreal that it seems real. I know I'm going to hate saying this, but Twilight is a perfect example because it's such a stupid love story that SOMEHOW works, and yet it shouldn't.

It's partly why I personally don't to romance stuff at all. I do like unreal events and characters, but playing emotions and forcing a love story between people is something that I know I can struggle in with reality, so faking it is just pointless task that will sound like teenagers constantly saying "I wuv u!"


I've talked about the 1x1 section before in this thread, and this is one of the critical reasons I've thus far been unable to get into it.

When I'm roleplaying, I can't do romance as the main event. It's easy for it to feel awkward, off-putting, or just plain wrong even if you intended for two characters to be entangled with one another in that way. Forcing it doesn't help the issue, and you never know what it is that will make two characters click. Therefore, planning a story based solely around romance in a roleplaying setting has never been my shtick.

(Though I have been considering trying my hand a bit seriously at it in short stories. That's a different situation, though.)

And I've already said this before: it's not that I'm against the concept of romance in some way. Far from it. It's a cornerstone of our literature and our world's culture. Every civilization on earth has been fascinated with romance, much like every civilization has some intrinsic fascination with violence. But in a roleplaying setting, romance is very difficult to pull off without feeling cheap. It depends on good communication between players, on their chosen characters actually having a spark between them, on the players being able to write that spark... and to write all of this realistically, using two different authors to write the two different main characters, is just a monumental task. If you're going to include romance in a roleplay, you'd best have something else to serve as the "meat" of the story in case the romantic elements fall flat.

So, right off the bat, I find myself largely at odds with people who go into a roleplay specifically for romance. But it only gets worse when folks talk about "cravings" or use other such words, and the way some people use the word "partner" gives the word a romantic, more personal tone. But I, myself, don't want to satisfy some sort of craving, nor do I want to satisfy someone else's cravings, nor do I want to think of the people I roleplay with in any sort of romantic way. And I know: that's not what is meant when people talk about their partners. Yet that's what it always feels like to me: the awkward wording gives the impression that I'm somehow supposed to be attached to the other player in some sort of pseudo-romantic way.

(This is probably just my experience as a Wyrmrest Accord roleplayer kicking in. See, on WoW's Wyrmrest Accord server that was, in fact, one of the norms of romantic roleplay. No, seriously. People were accused of "cheating" OOC if they roleplayed with more than one person in a romantic fashion, and were otherwise expected to be somehow "devoted" to their roleplaying "partners." Yeah, it creeped me the fuck out.)

I'll cut myself short, or else I'll have made the same rant twice in the same thread. (I made it two weeks ago or so.) But my point is this: romance doesn't always click, and I don't want to be expected to be able to make it click. If someone expects that of me, I doubt they'll get what they want. The story has to have a scope and content that goes far beyond romance just in case the romantic elements fall flat. Elsewise, it may not be worth pursuing.


The Dominion of Zaqir

Try to stem the tides of war! You shall drown in a hurricane of blood!

- Buzi the Butcher, Potentate of Zaqir, 125 A.E.


It is the year 500 A.E, the dawn of a new century, one mired still in the chaos of generations. The Zaqiri Dominion's fleets are poised to wage their ever-vaunted war, its armies restless, its people eager to see another era of blood. The world yet quivers at the thought of the saurian host descending upon its shores. The world yet wonders where it first will strike.

But before such a war can be waged, there first must come the Almurzani. The city of Zaqir is bustling with activity. Engineers are hard at work expanding the Visitors Quarter. Merchants and peddlers shout to passersby on the streets. Ships from the sea, caravans from the jungle: everyone from most every nationality is coming to Zaqir to trade, to marvel, or to fight. Yes, fight: for not far from the sound of music and the smells of freshly cooked fish is a scene more glorious and macabre in nature.

Near the arena are flown the colors of a dozen minor city states alongside those of Zaqir and the other competing nations. Warriors, both independent practitioners of the martial arts and sponsored fighters looking to win prestige for their nation, spar together to practice for the coming bloodsports. Even these practice events are a dangerous thing.

But the world does not forget that the host nation of the Almurzani, Zaqir, watches these events very closely. Their leaders eagerly bring all the visitors they can to this event, especially the greatest warriors from foreign states, so they may discern who will present the greatest challenge. For in Zaqir, war is not waged for the sake of politics. Politics is waged for the sake of war. This Almurzani may determine nations' fates in the coming years...



Blood upon the Sand
Zaqir, the Ring of Valor sparring grounds


The saurian warriors clashed yet again, their falchions locked together, sand billowing about them in clouds. The smell of their sweat and their fury was thick in the air, the two of them pushing against the other with all their might. Their shields were already tossed uselessly upon the ground, broken into splinters, and both fighters were covered in terrible wounds.

The smaller of the two jerked her head forward, snapping with her jaws at her enemy's face. Her teeth clamped down hard on the larger warrior's maw. The bigger woman let out a furious hiss, thrusting forward with all her weight, trying to throw her enemy off of her. Scales and blood flew threw the air, as did some some teeth, and both saurian women fell back from their opponent. They stared. They bled. They raged.

Then they clashed again, swords smashing against each other. As they danced the dance of death, Commander Tana watched with interest, stroking the winged helmet sitting in her lap. The arena had always fascinated her.

"Tell me, Dihya," she asked the saurian woman next to her, "who do you believe will win this battle?"

"The larger warrior," said the saurian almost instantly. "She is no Zorai, but she has considerable weight, and she's no slouch with her sword. She has greater reach, too."

"That reach will work against her if her opponent can slip in through her defenses again."

The saurian snorted, licking her dry scales. "I do not think the same trick will work twice, Commander."

The battle continued. Sparks flew as their swords collided with one another. The screech of metal scraping upon metal gave way to the sound of cracking bones as the larger saurian slammed her clawed foot down on her opponent's knee. There was a terrible shriek from the smaller opponent, and she fell onto her back. But just as it seemed her defeat was imminent, just as the apparent victor began lowering her sword to her enemy's throat, the smaller woman swatted the weapon away. Then she dove at the other warrior, knocked the surprised woman to the ground, and prepared to clamp her jaws around the unsuspecting warrior's throat.

But in the end, the larger woman was stronger, and this time she was ready. She quickly brought a fist up and slammed it across the biting woman's head.

"I think you were right," mused Tana, chuckling.

The pair wrestled on the sand for a while yet, but the larger warrior won in the end. She pressed her foot upon her opponent's chest, stood tall, and lifted her sword into the air with a victorious whoop. And then, just as quickly, she reached on down and helped her opponent to her feet. The two bleeding, bruised, scarred warriors laughed. Sisters in battle never could harbor a grudge with one another for long.

"I think Zaqir has a good chance of winning this Almurzani," thought Dihya aloud, folding her arms over her chest. "In the single combat section, we present the strongest warriors, as ever. The Ilists seem to be making good ground in the large group battles as well. The archery competition is well within our grasp as well."

"I would not be certain in single combat. It was not a saurian woman who won the Almurzani last, but a warrior of Ashkar." Tana lifted her flask to her mouth, taking a good, long drink of rum. The noseless human smacked her lips. "But I think the Asqari might distinguish themselves in single combat this year," she added with a nod. "They have been studying their Ashkari cousins ever since the last Almurzani, and they say their best warriors have created a new fighting style based around that."

"They should have been studying the dwarves," growled Dihya with a toothy grin. "They will be most impressive this year. The Stoneguard are sending some of their own, I hear."

The Stoneguard, thought Tana, nodding yet again and moving her flask about in a circle. "They are formidable," she agreed. "But I wonder if they will be sending their best. While we in Zaqir are always ready to hold off on our wars for the sake of the Almurzani, I do not think the other nations hold it in just as high a regard."

It was her lieutenant's turn to nod. The saurian woman then looked past the sandy training grounds and up at the distant palace. "I wonder what the Potentate is doing."

"The same thing as we are, I am sure." Tana waved her hand over at the grounds. "In the coming days, there will be hundreds of warriors here, the finest from every corner of our world. Then they will fight, and we will see whose nation has the best warriors."

"And then?"

"And then," said Tana with a blank expression, "the real fighting will begin."
<Snipped quote by Shorticus>
All of these actually, first it was a person, a great hero-the founder of the Empire, reckoned to be the avatar of Yig upon the Earth. Now it's a name borne by the nifty fellows I posted a pic of a few posts ago.


I'll be looking forward to seeing more about this guy. Any time I see "serpent" or "dragon" or anything like that, I scramble to see if I can connect Ardonian lore with the nation that mentions that.

I think I should probably discuss more with Taeryn on that note.
@Ophidian Out of curiosity, what is the Black Serpent? Is it a person, a deified creature, an order, or something else?
I vote either...

A) Clan Invasion, 3050. It's just got all the plot we need: the Space Mongols (the Clanners) are coming and it's time to kick them out. Good plot; good lore; good setting.

B) Something more "modern" in Battletech, but taking place with us as mercenaries in the Periphery (I.E. away from the chief politics / civilization of the setting, probably more "Wild West" esque).
Wonder where Brink ended up too.


Same. I need my French brothers in on my conquests war for superiority global domination pursuit of global peace and prosperity.
Yo MOMMA keeps you honest.
@Shorticus So, what does Malagasy Enterprises plan to do for the coming war in South America?(Not sure if that was answered pages ago :P)


Good question. I covered this in a PM discussion. It basically comes down to this:

Step 1: Grab some of the land. Do NOT annex.
Step 2: Try to run "free and fair elections" in the state, forcing this to happen because Peacekeeper forces are around to keep everyone "honest."
Step 3: ACTUALLY sell the land to the highest bidder between the NAU and Brazil.
  • Or, you know, if nobody buys the land, use the opportunity to create a state that's in debt to Malagasy Enterprises.
Step 4: Profit.

"Free and fair elections" would include the option of joining one of the two nations, note. Which boils down to selling a rigged election.
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