Kay I'm up next!! Just a heads up. I'm out of town for a couple of days taking only my phone and toothbrush and my phone doesn't like roaming charges so I'll work on a reply when I'm back home!
Spud Member
The Best Potato on the Guild
STATUS: Not just depression ... I have SEVERE DEPRESSION! :D :D :D 7 yrs ago
- Last Seen: 1 yr ago
- Joined: 9 yrs ago
- Posts: 693 (0.20 / day)
- VMs: 12
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Username history
- Spud 9 yrs ago
Status
Recent Statuses
7 yrs ago
Current
Not just depression ... I have SEVERE DEPRESSION! :D :D :D
5
likes
7 yrs ago
That feel when its ur birthday but u have no friends to do birthday things with and last year ur family forgot it was ur birthday ... wew huuraaayyy
6
likes
7 yrs ago
Threw my back out today ... and I'm not even old ... wtf
7 yrs ago
Wtf shit phone don't triple post while I'm venting!!! XD I should have studied IT
1
like
7 yrs ago
I'm not crying. My face normally leaks like this. Seriously, this isn't crying, pfft.
3
likes
Bio
My claim to fame is starting the "dicks in clocks" discussion on the status bar ... and shitposting in general.
Most Recent Posts
I was waiting for Antonio to do something because Letty went into the tent for the meeting thing so ... I don't think its my post coz I have nothing to respond to as far as I remember ^^"
Drew if you forgot my precious brainwashed Bucky-babe *shakes tiny spud-fists* heh
I'm doing interviews for my thesis and it's really emotionally and mentally draining ...
Do you guys mind skipping ahead I'm stuck with a bit of writers block but I'll try get something up soon!
Do you guys mind skipping ahead I'm stuck with a bit of writers block but I'll try get something up soon!
Updated my CS's Cap, just filled in surnames and my NPCs (since no one will play Leith's little sis *sob* jk)
Lemme know if theres any problemos
Lemme know if theres any problemos
Interacting with @mskennedy615
(Hope this is okay I'm on mobile)
"I'm angry," she said evenly, "And when I'm not angry, I'm sad. One day I'll get the strong urge to fight someone; anyone. The next, I'll cry nonstop for hours. One minute I'm crying to pictures from when we were kids, and the next I'm plotting revenge on God knows who".
Leith nodded. He understood exactly where she was coming from because he felt that way too. If it wasnt for his mom and little sister,who he needed to stay strong and brave for, he was certain he'd have lashed out at someone ... Probably his stepfather since he was always there and the relationship was already under strain. He kept composed however,even when he came close to screaming the house down.
" I feel the same Shaun "he agreed. "Mom insisted I stay at home after she told me the news .. Good thing she did or I'd have put a wrench through a windshield at work and that's just for starters" Leith knew Shaun's dad was a good guy,he took Leith under his wing for a little while, letting him have his moment to bond with a guy, a dad figure, who wasn't his stepfather. But even Mr Jenkins had his limits and Leith was certain he'd be fired if he went and trashed customers cars even given the extraordinary circumstances.
"How about you, Leith? How are you holding up?" She asked with a slight nod of her head. "I know how close you two were."
He shrugged .. A moment passed where he just thought ... Somewhat miserably.
"There's so much I had to tell her ... I ... I didn't even realise and now ... It just sucks yknow, I can't even tell her thank you ... Or say I'm sorry for all those times I musta annoyed the heck ouuta her. I also feel kinda guilty too yknow?" the question was on everyone's lips... Why her?
"It shouldn't have been her... I was a tyrant in highschool but she was always sweet as pie, she didn't do anything to deserve this and I did a whole buncha stuff ... Not enough for someone to go killin me but ... She deserved this so much less than everyone else in this dang village."
He'd have loved to say they would catch the killer but ... Would they?/so many murders were left unsolved and Olivia's was such a mystery. He didn't want to get his hopes up or lie to Shauna when they really couldn't tell ...
" I hope the police catch em, whoever did this ..."
(Hope this is okay I'm on mobile)
"I'm angry," she said evenly, "And when I'm not angry, I'm sad. One day I'll get the strong urge to fight someone; anyone. The next, I'll cry nonstop for hours. One minute I'm crying to pictures from when we were kids, and the next I'm plotting revenge on God knows who".
Leith nodded. He understood exactly where she was coming from because he felt that way too. If it wasnt for his mom and little sister,who he needed to stay strong and brave for, he was certain he'd have lashed out at someone ... Probably his stepfather since he was always there and the relationship was already under strain. He kept composed however,even when he came close to screaming the house down.
" I feel the same Shaun "he agreed. "Mom insisted I stay at home after she told me the news .. Good thing she did or I'd have put a wrench through a windshield at work and that's just for starters" Leith knew Shaun's dad was a good guy,he took Leith under his wing for a little while, letting him have his moment to bond with a guy, a dad figure, who wasn't his stepfather. But even Mr Jenkins had his limits and Leith was certain he'd be fired if he went and trashed customers cars even given the extraordinary circumstances.
"How about you, Leith? How are you holding up?" She asked with a slight nod of her head. "I know how close you two were."
He shrugged .. A moment passed where he just thought ... Somewhat miserably.
"There's so much I had to tell her ... I ... I didn't even realise and now ... It just sucks yknow, I can't even tell her thank you ... Or say I'm sorry for all those times I musta annoyed the heck ouuta her. I also feel kinda guilty too yknow?" the question was on everyone's lips... Why her?
"It shouldn't have been her... I was a tyrant in highschool but she was always sweet as pie, she didn't do anything to deserve this and I did a whole buncha stuff ... Not enough for someone to go killin me but ... She deserved this so much less than everyone else in this dang village."
He'd have loved to say they would catch the killer but ... Would they?/so many murders were left unsolved and Olivia's was such a mystery. He didn't want to get his hopes up or lie to Shauna when they really couldn't tell ...
" I hope the police catch em, whoever did this ..."
I'm here... why hasn't anyone posted in almost 2 weeks?!
Restrained, debriefed and wiped ... Bucky was stripped away, but not after receiving an adequate punishment. Beating, humiliation ... He didn't see the point in it really. Not as it happened, as he was conscious and sort of knew who he was. He knew what was coming next. They'd put him in that chair, say the words and all the beating and humiliation and memories would be yanked out of him. They saved that torture for last and it was the worst one of all.
He could take the physical punishments, he could even handle getting spat on by the useless little lackeys with a defiant, stubborn set of his chin. Defiance. He'd defied HYDRA and vanished and now, as he took his punishment, restrained there, he defied them again. He resisted even though he knew it was in vain, in the hope that maybe someday ... it would end.
It didn't.
Karpov dismissed the men, even his personal bodyguards who were reluctant to leave but obeyed regardless.
"You remember her." he said, a smug grin on his face.
"You'll be the one who kills her. It won't just be a distant shot. No. After this stunt of yours, I won't give you the pleasure of making it easy. You'll choke the life out of her. Look into her eyes till she recognises you." Karpov leered. He was just trying to rile Bucky, the Winter Soldier wouldn't remember this, he'd be wiped clean, compliant, ruthless- ... But Bucky knew that someday he'd break free again, however briefly, and he'd remember all of this. Eventually ... And by then it would be too late ... If he succeeded in killing Cap ... It was the worst torture Karpov could conjure, because he knew that even if Bucky forgot, someday, the fragments would bubble up again and he'd remember this,he'd remember choking Steph to death and all his other sins. Once he remembered himself- The anguish would be immense.
For someome as impatient as Karpov .. the bastard could be surprisingly patient when it came to inflicting pain on the Soldier.
"I won't give you the pleasure of a clean kill Soldier."
Bucky looked defiantly at Karpov and finally broke his stoic, stubborn silence.
"I don't know pleasure." he hissed.
How could Karpov call a distant kill a pleasure when Bucky didn't know pleasure to begin with. He hadn't known pleasure since he fell from that train and he felt he never would again.
Karpov's face twisted, a horrifying smile peeled through, [b]"[i]This[/is] is pleasure Soldier."[/b] he splayed his arms wide, "In a few moments, you won't remember a thing, all the lives you've taken that you regret. I'll take that all away. I'll fix it for you."
He laughed, a gut-churning laugh.
Yeah Bucky thought, You'll fix me ... back into a ruthless killer again, only giving me more things to regret ... and Steph-
God he had to find a way to warn her, to help her. He only knew despair.
"Longing..."
Nine words later ... he was ready to comply. The pain of knowing he'd be the one to kill Stephanie, wherever, whenever and however Karpov wished, vanished. His memories of her, the tiniest fragments he'd unearthed ... Gone. He'd had so little and it was snatched away again so damn easily.
"Herr Skull. It is done. Shall we proceed with your plan?" Karpov asked. The Asset was prepped and ready.
He could take the physical punishments, he could even handle getting spat on by the useless little lackeys with a defiant, stubborn set of his chin. Defiance. He'd defied HYDRA and vanished and now, as he took his punishment, restrained there, he defied them again. He resisted even though he knew it was in vain, in the hope that maybe someday ... it would end.
It didn't.
Karpov dismissed the men, even his personal bodyguards who were reluctant to leave but obeyed regardless.
"You remember her." he said, a smug grin on his face.
"You'll be the one who kills her. It won't just be a distant shot. No. After this stunt of yours, I won't give you the pleasure of making it easy. You'll choke the life out of her. Look into her eyes till she recognises you." Karpov leered. He was just trying to rile Bucky, the Winter Soldier wouldn't remember this, he'd be wiped clean, compliant, ruthless- ... But Bucky knew that someday he'd break free again, however briefly, and he'd remember all of this. Eventually ... And by then it would be too late ... If he succeeded in killing Cap ... It was the worst torture Karpov could conjure, because he knew that even if Bucky forgot, someday, the fragments would bubble up again and he'd remember this,he'd remember choking Steph to death and all his other sins. Once he remembered himself- The anguish would be immense.
For someome as impatient as Karpov .. the bastard could be surprisingly patient when it came to inflicting pain on the Soldier.
"I won't give you the pleasure of a clean kill Soldier."
Bucky looked defiantly at Karpov and finally broke his stoic, stubborn silence.
"I don't know pleasure." he hissed.
How could Karpov call a distant kill a pleasure when Bucky didn't know pleasure to begin with. He hadn't known pleasure since he fell from that train and he felt he never would again.
Karpov's face twisted, a horrifying smile peeled through, [b]"[i]This[/is] is pleasure Soldier."[/b] he splayed his arms wide, "In a few moments, you won't remember a thing, all the lives you've taken that you regret. I'll take that all away. I'll fix it for you."
He laughed, a gut-churning laugh.
Yeah Bucky thought, You'll fix me ... back into a ruthless killer again, only giving me more things to regret ... and Steph-
God he had to find a way to warn her, to help her. He only knew despair.
"Longing..."
Nine words later ... he was ready to comply. The pain of knowing he'd be the one to kill Stephanie, wherever, whenever and however Karpov wished, vanished. His memories of her, the tiniest fragments he'd unearthed ... Gone. He'd had so little and it was snatched away again so damn easily.
"Herr Skull. It is done. Shall we proceed with your plan?" Karpov asked. The Asset was prepped and ready.
Interacting with @mskennedy615
Jess wasn't a stranger to funerals, she didn't try make herself too familiar with them either all the same. As far as funerals went, the service was beautiful, the weather was forgiving for this far south when everyone was dressed in black and it was the middle of the summer.
Leith didn't shed tears, but she knew he held them back tightly, the tense set of his jaw, she couldn't but notice. When had her boy become a man? It had happened before her eyes and she'd never really seen it, even when his voice broke, when he shot up in a particularly rapid growth spurt, not even when he grew out some facial hair ... Those had all been physical changes but he was still the same placid child at heart. That child had been pleasant, but empathetic, easily moved to tears when any person or animal was in pain, a sensitive soul, hardened now, putting on a brave face as society told him men ought to. He'd had his silent sob in the quiet privacy of his bedroom, and perhaps he'd shed another tear or two again when he was away somewhere quiet with his thoughts.
The church was largely empty as they'd arrived a little early. Jess sought out Nicky, offering a supportive shoulder to cry on, volunteering to take care of the restaurant in Nicky's absence if she ever needed to take a day or even a whole weekend off.
"You helped me and my family out, and you're a dear friend. Anything you need, any time, you know where my house is and you're always welcome"
Comforting Nicky gave Leith a chance to have his own quiet parting with Olivia ... a chance to say some goodbyes to the girl who had practically been a big sister to him when he was starting school.
Leith wasn't exactly one to pray ... or be religious ... God hates fags was the message he'd heard from those hardcore folks. It seemed a bit hypocritical to pray to a God that hated him, especially if he was praying for his friends sake ... He didn't know what happened after death, but he didn't want to screw it up for Olivia if there was a better place to go to.
"Damn right we will." Leith bristled a little ... just thinking about what happened, how those kids had found her- It was enough to make his skin crawl. No one deserved this, much less Olivia.
He took a minute to gather himself, taking in a deep breath and exhaling, before turning to Shauna.
"Sorry for your loss" Leith shuffled a little awkwardly. "Sorry for your loss" was just a basic funeral courtesy ... but it felt so hollow, repeating the same words everyone said at every funeral ever, even though they had good intentions and offered sympathy. Leith just wished there was some way to show just how much he meant it. Just how much he was saddened to lose her.
"She musta meant a lot to ya' ... She was good at that ... Lovin' people and bein' loved by people." he sighed.
Shauna's dad owned the garage Leith worked in ... really, his family owed Shauna and Olivia's parents a bunch. Leith's mom worked in Nicky's restaurant for ages, Nicky had been the most understanding boss anyone could ever ask for, certainly cut her a lot more slack than she deserved sometimes, others would have fired a moody young single mother who stressed and snapped. Nicky wasn't like that. She'd been sweet to Leith and encouraged Olivia to play with him and help him with his homework. And Shauna's family ... well, when Leith was a rebellious teen, full of frustrations and anger, well, he put Leith to work in the garage. He learned a trade, worked out his frustrations, and when he finally came out and calmed down, he had a nice little job going.
Leith felt he sort of owed it to Olivia and Shauna in a way, his mom was kind to their parents, he wasn't exactly sure what to do, but he could be good and helpful to Shauna at least.
"How you holdin'up?" he asked, wondering if it was a totally dumb question or if he was being helpful or just annoying...
Jess wasn't a stranger to funerals, she didn't try make herself too familiar with them either all the same. As far as funerals went, the service was beautiful, the weather was forgiving for this far south when everyone was dressed in black and it was the middle of the summer.
Leith didn't shed tears, but she knew he held them back tightly, the tense set of his jaw, she couldn't but notice. When had her boy become a man? It had happened before her eyes and she'd never really seen it, even when his voice broke, when he shot up in a particularly rapid growth spurt, not even when he grew out some facial hair ... Those had all been physical changes but he was still the same placid child at heart. That child had been pleasant, but empathetic, easily moved to tears when any person or animal was in pain, a sensitive soul, hardened now, putting on a brave face as society told him men ought to. He'd had his silent sob in the quiet privacy of his bedroom, and perhaps he'd shed another tear or two again when he was away somewhere quiet with his thoughts.
The church was largely empty as they'd arrived a little early. Jess sought out Nicky, offering a supportive shoulder to cry on, volunteering to take care of the restaurant in Nicky's absence if she ever needed to take a day or even a whole weekend off.
"You helped me and my family out, and you're a dear friend. Anything you need, any time, you know where my house is and you're always welcome"
Comforting Nicky gave Leith a chance to have his own quiet parting with Olivia ... a chance to say some goodbyes to the girl who had practically been a big sister to him when he was starting school.
Leith wasn't exactly one to pray ... or be religious ... God hates fags was the message he'd heard from those hardcore folks. It seemed a bit hypocritical to pray to a God that hated him, especially if he was praying for his friends sake ... He didn't know what happened after death, but he didn't want to screw it up for Olivia if there was a better place to go to.
"We're going to find the motherfucker who did this to you. I promise."
"Damn right we will." Leith bristled a little ... just thinking about what happened, how those kids had found her- It was enough to make his skin crawl. No one deserved this, much less Olivia.
He took a minute to gather himself, taking in a deep breath and exhaling, before turning to Shauna.
"Sorry for your loss" Leith shuffled a little awkwardly. "Sorry for your loss" was just a basic funeral courtesy ... but it felt so hollow, repeating the same words everyone said at every funeral ever, even though they had good intentions and offered sympathy. Leith just wished there was some way to show just how much he meant it. Just how much he was saddened to lose her.
"She musta meant a lot to ya' ... She was good at that ... Lovin' people and bein' loved by people." he sighed.
Shauna's dad owned the garage Leith worked in ... really, his family owed Shauna and Olivia's parents a bunch. Leith's mom worked in Nicky's restaurant for ages, Nicky had been the most understanding boss anyone could ever ask for, certainly cut her a lot more slack than she deserved sometimes, others would have fired a moody young single mother who stressed and snapped. Nicky wasn't like that. She'd been sweet to Leith and encouraged Olivia to play with him and help him with his homework. And Shauna's family ... well, when Leith was a rebellious teen, full of frustrations and anger, well, he put Leith to work in the garage. He learned a trade, worked out his frustrations, and when he finally came out and calmed down, he had a nice little job going.
Leith felt he sort of owed it to Olivia and Shauna in a way, his mom was kind to their parents, he wasn't exactly sure what to do, but he could be good and helpful to Shauna at least.
"How you holdin'up?" he asked, wondering if it was a totally dumb question or if he was being helpful or just annoying...
Ehhh I'm not sure what to post since Leo's wrapped up with a char thats no longer here? I guess? And I had Letty just waiting around in the tent for the meeting or whatever was going down coz Antonio and Hunter are interacting with each other so she's not interacting with anyone either ... Im not sure what to do I'm sort of waiting for something to happen to jump them back in I guess
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