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    1. SystemofEleven 6 yrs ago

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Jewel turned a hard gaze at her husband, but gave a curt nod to the Pumpkin King and took her usual position behind the chair.

Carver scowled at the implication that he needed help. “I’m fine!” he snapped. “I’ll just take a nap in a nutrient bath once I’m out of this stupid trash can.”

He pushed himself away from the wall and took two confident steps away from the wall -- then promptly lost his balance and, with a fwoop followed by a clattering bang, fell forward to land face-down on the floor.

"Stupid exoskeleton..." he grumbled into the stone surface.
“Sally never outsmarted me. She poisoned me. Me! To whom she owes her very life! That’s hardly any sort of ‘intelligent’ thing to do.” Fineklstein sneered at Shock as she stomped toward him. “And as for them, well. The female hyena may lead the pack, but that doesn’t make her any less of a wild bea--”

SLAP!

The doctor was, finally, for once, completely lost for words as he found himself first on the floor, then being derided by his wife, then on the floor again. What just happened? What was still happening?

As Finkelstein lay there, staring up at the ceiling in confounded silence, Jewel turned back to Jack. “I would offer to do so myself, but unfortunately I am unfamiliar with the specific construction of this… abomination. I might damage h-- him, trying to get him out of there.”

She tactfully ignored Shock’s comment, because… While it wasn’t untrue, she wanted to completely digest her thoughts and emotions before putting them into words. Plus, she had a certain image to uphold, and striking the doctor had already put a crack in that image.

Carver watched his creator get shuffled back into his chair, then looked over at the spiral ramp. His head tilted back slowly as he tried to calculate the exact distance it would be to traverse.

“Carver? All you alright?” Jewel asked. It occurred to her that the pumpkin creature hadn’t made a snarky comment at Finkelstein or Jack the entire time she had been within ear shot, which was beyond unusual.

He blinked and looked over at her, then quickly forced out an eyeroll. “I’m fine. Just debating whether I want to go into the giant smoke bucket up there. Might as well just go back to the treehouse and see what the ‘hooligan squad’ can do with a blow torch, a hack saw, and some dynamite.”
“Not to refer to her properly,” Finkelstein sighed. “I was already doing that.” He spoke slowly, enunciating his words as carefully as possible.

“You made me realize that there is a common variable between all of my living projects which I thought to have turned out less than completely successful,” he explained. “I was too caught up in the initial design framework to realize they were operating successfully -- I merely forgot to take into account a single parameter in the context of their minds. Namely, that they are all female. They naturally require extra guidance. Carver was easiest for me to get distracted in my frustrations, because her female mind wasn’t in a visibly female vessel. I was referring to her properly, I just wasn’t dedicating enough of my mental resources to taking into account what that means. So when I upgraded her body to be more resilient to her hooligan friends’ destructive behaviors, I took the liberty of adding features that would remind me to be more specific and attentive to her.”

Carver’s metal jaw dropped as he listened to the perfumed rubbish coming out of his creator’s mouth. Jewel’s lip began to twitch as her fingers curled into tight fists.

“So you see, I have hardly been derelict in my responsibility toward my creation,” the doctor continued, completely oblivious to their reactions. “If anything, I’ve gotten better in that regard. It’s hardly my fault that she decided to damage my wheelchair and run away before I could make her comparatively simple mind recognize that fact.”

He smiled up at the skellington. “I understand that my neural complexities are a bit difficult to keep up with, even for other men, but I know that you, Jack, are able to at least somewhat match pace.”

Carver opened his mouth to roar out a response, but the sound came to a sudden creaky halt in his throat as Jewel took two quick steps forward and slapped her husband so hard he fell sprawling sideways out of his chair.

You!” She snarled. She reached down to lift him up by the collar of his lab coat until his face was inches from hers. “Are the single most infuriatingly stupid man I have ever met! I am ashamed to share a brain with the likes of you.”

Jewel didn’t merely let him fall back to the floor; she shoved him backward as hard as she could before releasing her grip.
Carver was not expecting to be yanked away from the wall, then suddenly and forcibly released while still off-balance. He stumbled sideways a few steps before deciding to just let himself slump to a sitting position on the floor. He crossed his legs and arms, glaring hatefully up at Finkelstein.

The doctor stared open-mouthed at the Pumpkin King. “What do you mean, ‘him’? What-- What lies have these hoodlums told you, that you’re defending their criminal actions? I gave her exactly what she wanted! I gave her a better body so I wouldn’t forget she’s a girl!”

Jewel turned to face her husband, eyes flashing. “THAT’s why you designed--?! That is not what she-- what he wanted. I would say you damn well know that, but that would require me to believe you have ever listened to a word sh-- he said to you.” She scowled and stepped away from him, toward Carver. “And I am beginning to realize that has never been the case.”

Carver blinked up at the hand offered him. This was an unexpected turn of events. After a moment’s hesitation, he took it and let her help him stand. He then shuffled back over to continue leaning against the wall.

Meanwhile, Finkelstein was sputtering in a mix of shock and indignance at his wife’s betrayal. Such a thing was inconceivable! Of course she knew he couldn’t possible be in the wrong here-- He slowly brought himself to a stop and followed that thought a bit further. Actually, that’s right; sometimes she couldn’t fathom when he was right. And it was usually because…

Finkelstein took a deep breath, and carefully changed his tone. “"Look... My dear... I understand the fairer sex is ruled by emotion, so it’s reasonable as to why you're not grasping the full context of the situation. Please step back and let the logical side of our brain handle this."

“LOGICAL?!” Jewel and Carver exclaimed simultaneously. Jewel’s outburst was harsh, full of offense and anger. The pumpkin creature, on the other hand, had to grip onto the wall to keep himself from falling over laughing.
"That is not what I said, Carver," he said. "I specifically told him to treat you as your own monster, not--" Jack gestured to the new body, "--like this."


"Yeah, well, that's your fault for assuming he listened,” Carver griped. “And what ever happened to checking in to make sure something like this wouldn’t happen?" He wobbled a tiny bit as he stomped over to lean casually against the doorframe with crossed arms, trying to make it appear like a display of attitude rather than a sign of weakness.

Cough. "HOOLI--" hack "--GANS!" Finkelstein shouted down the tower. "When I--" cough "--get my hands on--" wheeze "--you, I'll--"

The doctor failed to finish his threat, as he devolved completely back into a full coughing fit. Jewel, still struggling to clear her own lungs, took hold of the handles on his chair to help him get down the ramp and farther from the smoke still spilling from the laboratory.

Lillith shook herself out of her reverie and nudged her sister. "Come on, guys. Jack's gonna handle this from here. Let's get out of the way and stop gawking. You too, Jugs Boy," she called up to Chad.

Chad perked at the word 'jugs' and saw the twins turning away -- the angle of their turn being just right for him to see the best possible side view of their voluptuous forms. He grinned. The human shot a wink at Shock, said, “See ya later, hot stuff,” and bounded down the steps after the vampires.

Agatha shuffled away from the seething vampiresses and the growing crowd of curious adults now approaching the edge of Finkelstein's property. When she saw Chad moving in their direction with a dazed smile and a gleam in his eye, she bolted outright. She was due to man the counter at the shop, after all.

Chad sidled up to the twins. “So, now that that’s all winding down a bit, wanna wind something back up again?” He winked. “Bro code and all that for the one with a boyfriend, but the oth--”

Then he was suddenly lying flat on his back with the wind knocked out of him and a heeled shoe pressing down on his chest. Carmilla had used just enough of her supernatural speed to make sure he wouldn’t have a chance to try and defend himself, but stayed just slow enough he wouldn’t bust a rib on the way down.

“Take your friend,” she hissed at Sobki, “and get him out of my sight before I make him lunch!”

Jewel and Finkelstein finally made it to the bottom of the ramp and across the kitchen to the door. JLungs mostly clear, Jewel quickly stepped past the chair to try and take control of the situation. “Carver, Jack, will someone please explain what’s going on here?” She caught Lillith’s eye around the group on the doorstep as the teen vampire waved at her with a tiny, self-satisfied smile.

Finkelstein didn’t give either of them a chance to respond, driving his chair around his wife and snarling, “YOU FOUR! No respect for other people’s property! If all of you belonged to me, I’d lock you all up for a year until you learned your lesson. Unfortunately, I have to leave you three delinquents to be dealt with by Jack, here, but Carver--” he reached forward to snatch his creation’s arm, “--I’ll teach you respect if it’s the last thing I do, young lady!”
Unfortunately, Carver was too heavy and slow to keep up with the trio as they ran up the stairs. It only took Jack a tiny moment to adjust his gate to step over him, but that was enough to completely solidify the trickers' head start and give them time to smash the door in. He caught up to them all at the stoop and crossed his arms, glaring at Jack with slightly more direct malice than Shock.

"You said things were going to be 'different' around here. Is this different enough for you?" he demanded accusingly.

Carver lifted up his tank top to show off the solid metallic lumps on his chest; they weren't real breasts, so it didn't feel obscene enough for him to think about whether that was appropriate. Not that he really cared about appropriateness, anyway.

Chad grinned at the flashing, and for a split second forgot the 'boobs' were on what he assumed to be a dude. Luckily, he was just perturbed enough by the rage seeping from those in his immediate vicinity that he withheld his reflex to cheer.

"I didn't ask for this, I didn't want anything like this!" Carver continued, dropping the shirt. "Among another dozen issues, it’s making me too weak to function. And when I told him how much of a problem it causes me, he said I should be grateful that it forces me to sit still and prevents me from 'keeping up with my hooligan friends'. Grateful! Like I somehow fucking benefit from not being able to soak my vines after spending ten minutes exhausting myself just walking across town!"

He kicked the battering ram a few times as he spoke. As if to accentuate his point, the heavy wooden mast barely moved from the contact. The pumpkin creature began to sag a bit as the adrenaline rush of Shock's charge started to wear off.

Carmilla and Lillith still stood by the gate. Their expressions shifted from growing awareness to sheer horror as they listened to the increased details the pumpkin creature gave out. Carmilla's quickly fell to a hateful glower.

Agatha turned pale and backed away from the vampires to stand near Sobki.
Carver let the trio lead the stampede as they stormed toward the lab, but was as close behind as he could manage without his clunky legs getting in their way. Chad was next. He alternated between excited laughter and taking sips from his beer. Carmilla followed after Chad, arms crossed in an attempt to maintain the appearance of being dragged along with the crowd. Lillith calmly glided along several paces behind her sister.

Sobki hesitated for a long moment before shaking his head and trailing after the group at a much more sluggish pace. Had the destination been much farther, he would have gotten left behind altogether within the span of a few minutes, but as it was he was only a few dozen yards back when the leaders of the pack caught sight of the skellington.

They didn't all come skidding to a stop, of course. As the awareness slowly began to fully sink in, they went from a run, to a jog, to a walk, and finally came to an awkward stop a short distance past the Finkelstein's open gate.

"Oh, yeah," Carver blinked. "Jack... exists."

Lillith pinched the bridge of her nose and let out a long sigh. "You four didn't even try asking the Pumpkin King for help, first?"

Sobki matched hers with a sigh of relief as he caught back up to the group.

Chad deflated. "Awww, does this mean no housebreaking party?"
Carver stuck behind with Sobki and Chad just long enough to add, "Seriously. The ghouls here will destroy you if you piss them off, and Shock in particular would put you through hell before maybe letting you taste the sweet release of death." He didn't stick around to make sure the point had been properly made; he rushed off to catch up with Shock and Agatha. The faster the trio got their hands on that battering ram, the faster they could completely wreck Finkelstein's lab and ruin his day. And Carver was not going to miss out on the front row seat.

Chad nodded. "Noted then, thanks dudes!" The crazy chick sounded like an absolutely wild ride! He just had to be prepared for said ride, otherwise she might use him as a bettering ram. Well, she might anyway, but that would probably be worth it if he got to have some crazy fun with her beforehand...

Agatha jogged toward the shop. She might have run, to stay completely on Shock's good side and not give the trickster the time to change her mind, but she didn't want her skirt to look unflattering with Barrel behind her. She paused when she got to the shop door. "You guys can wait outside, I'll be right back. Don't want you to get held up by my aunts asking what you're all doing in the shop together, after all!" She ducked inside and rushed toward the back room.

"Welcome to the-- What's the hurry, dearie?" Aggie asked.

"It's your turn to man the counter in a moment, anyway," Agnes added.

"Not yet," Agatha replied as she grabbed her broom and flew for the hole in the ceiling. She raised her voice as she made her way through the living quarters. "I have one more delivery to make!"

"To who?" Agnes called back. "We haven't gotten any new orders since you left!"

"I'm renting Shock my battering ram." Agatha flew back down the hole and skidded to a stop by the counter. "Can you pass me the ledger?"

Aggie raised an eyebrow and did as asked. "How much did you rent if for?"

Agatha smirked. "I haven't decided yet. She just said to put it on her tab; didn't ask about the price." She quickly scribbled a note in the margins for later, to figure that out and mark it down properly.

Both of her aunts cackled.

"Well, whatever you charge--" Aggie started.

"--You're the one dealing with her when it's time for her to pay!" Agnes finished.

Agatha almost stopped writing. Was Shock's potential wrath later definitely worth this? ...Yes. Yes it was. Besides, so long as she didn't charge anything too horrific, the customer couldn't really complain about a price they didn't confirm before agreeing to pay it.

Probably.

With that done, Agatha dropped the ledger on the counter, hopped off her broom, and skittered back outside. She presented the small, metal-riveted wooden log to the tricksters. "Two handles, small enough for one person to use without too much difficulty, long enough for up to four if the door is just that stubborn."
"Woo! Let's g-- Wait, which one of you is Barrel?" Through the mystical power of deduction, Chad was able to narrow down the potential list to... everyone except the metal guy with boobs and the two chicks in hats. He looked around at the rest of the group. Barrel didn't sound like a girl's name, but it also didn't sound like a boy's name -- honestly, it didn't sound like a name at all. Maybe a nickname? He squinted thoughtfully at the big-chested twins. "Is one of you Barrel and the other one Jugs?"

Lillith and Carmilla looked at each other, rolled their eyes, and then simultaneously slapped him on opposite cheeks. Lillith's strike was a bit more casual and restrained, so the comparative force of Carmilla's sent him stumbling to that side.

"What was that for? I was just asking a question!"

"No, you asked a question, then you made a lewd reference to someone else's body parts," Lillith told him.

"If we hear something like that again, somebody's going to get eaten," Carmilla added.

"Kinky!"

Before the twins could slap him again, Carver jumped in the middle and held up a finger. "Nobody tell him who Barrel is! I wanna watch him keep trying to figure it out."

Agatha cackled. "Shall we make a short detour to my place, then? The ram is up in my room, not the shop, but it won't take me long to grab it." She beamed; she'd protected her boyfriend from some of his siblings' abuse, and she was getting paid for it. Tonight was looking to be a great night, indeed!
"Aww, yeah!" Chad smacked Barrel's palm with his own then bounced toward the larger teen, chest puffed out and arms extended sideways. Unfortunately, that was right as the youngest trickster took a bow. Instead of their torsos colliding, the human gave himself an unintentional butt to the stomach with Barrel's head. He promptly doubled over and backed away a couple steps. Beer came pouring out of his dropped can in a series of quick glugs. "Nooo! My booze!" He fells to his knees dramatically.

Agatha flinched in sympathy, but quickly refocused as Chad was clearly fine enough to mourn his spilled alcohol. She did use that... situation to disguise her expression of pity and to hide the looming defensiveness swelling in her chest. How dare her boyfriend's siblings use him like that! And of course, he was congenially going along with it… As much as she loved how much of a gentleman Barrel was, he really needed to learn to establish some boundaries and stand up for himself.

The teen witch cleared her throat. “As… interesting as it might be to watch you try that, I should like to remind you that the front stoop likely doesn’t have enough room to swing something as long and… meaty as Barrel.” She hid a blush, remembering the muscles flexing in his chest and arms when he had shown off his strength to her in front of the Crypt Cafe. She continued, “I have a portable battering ram I can rent you, which I think would serve quite well in your current endeavor.”

“Battering ram?” Chad jumped to his feet. “Badass! Can I take a swing with it?” He produces another can from his pocket and cracked it open.
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