Shiinen said
z.z I fell asleep writing...
I hate it when that happens
The Pluto Knight Member
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- The Pluto Knight 11 yrs ago
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I finished the edit. How is it now?
I hate it when that happens
I hate it when that happens
Serinaty said
hmm yeah it does seemed rushed with a few spelling errors. You should take your time with it, maybe put a little more effort into the post. No need to rush lol plenty of time.
Okay. I'll edit it
Nobunaga Jin said
Why Shotaro?!
Examples must be made.
I feel like I rushed mine, what do you guys think?
Also, a little help with the gang name would be appreciated.
Also, a little help with the gang name would be appreciated.
The Day Before
Like a wasteland of scattered boulders, an alley was scattered with broken and beaten bodies. Some were unconscious, some were trying not to move so that they wouldn't hurt as much, and one guy tried to crawl to continue the fight. That guy was met with crushed can to his head, thrown by a member of the gang who claimed this place as their own territory. They towered over the pitiable idiots that dared challenge them. The leader of this towering gang, one Makoto Ayanami, barked at her defeated enemies to get the hell out.
The alley was clear again, and Makoto's gang spread out. Some laughed and spoke of how much fun the fight was. Others just continued conversations that were interrupted by the arrival of that other gang. Makoto herself just stayed in her spot, cleaning her tonfa. The older members of her gang knew that that she wasn't just cleaning the blood off. She would often clean her tonfa when she's thinking about something. She was, but now she's come to a conclusion.
Makoto stood up, which caught the attention of everyone else there.
"Starting tomorrow," said Makoto. "I'm going to attend school."
Today
Much to many students' surprise and terror, Makoto really did show up, though they didn't know what she said to her gang the previous day. She waited through the assembly, and looked for which class she was in. Class 1-G.
Two students blocked her way into the room, yelling out in a way that annoyed her. Makoto kicked the blonde one out of the way, entered the room, and took her seat.
Like a wasteland of scattered boulders, an alley was scattered with broken and beaten bodies. Some were unconscious, some were trying not to move so that they wouldn't hurt as much, and one guy tried to crawl to continue the fight. That guy was met with crushed can to his head, thrown by a member of the gang who claimed this place as their own territory. They towered over the pitiable idiots that dared challenge them. The leader of this towering gang, one Makoto Ayanami, barked at her defeated enemies to get the hell out.
The alley was clear again, and Makoto's gang spread out. Some laughed and spoke of how much fun the fight was. Others just continued conversations that were interrupted by the arrival of that other gang. Makoto herself just stayed in her spot, cleaning her tonfa. The older members of her gang knew that that she wasn't just cleaning the blood off. She would often clean her tonfa when she's thinking about something. She was, but now she's come to a conclusion.
Makoto stood up, which caught the attention of everyone else there.
"Starting tomorrow," said Makoto. "I'm going to attend school."
Today
Much to many students' surprise and terror, Makoto really did show up, though they didn't know what she said to her gang the previous day. She waited through the assembly, and looked for which class she was in. Class 1-G.
Two students blocked her way into the room, yelling out in a way that annoyed her. Makoto kicked the blonde one out of the way, entered the room, and took her seat.
My version of Character nicknames:
Kim
Sam
Roy (your character)
Sho
Aya (my character)
Kii
Kazu
Ryu
Rin
Eika
Kim
Sam
Roy (your character)
Sho
Aya (my character)
Kii
Kazu
Ryu
Rin
Eika
Nicknames so far:
Serinaty = Seri
TheRider = Rider
Nobunaga Jin = Jin
OtomostheCrazy = Oto
EveeKitten = Evee
Darcs = Jeanne
RondoNumbaNine = Rondo
The Pluto Knight = Pluto
Serinaty = Seri
TheRider = Rider
Nobunaga Jin = Jin
OtomostheCrazy = Oto
EveeKitten = Evee
Darcs = Jeanne
RondoNumbaNine = Rondo
The Pluto Knight = Pluto
Name: Makoto Ayanami
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Clubs/Occupation: Leader of a school gang (I'll work on a name after I know the name of the school)
Personality: Makoto is easily angered and annoyed. She is also rude, arrogant, and cautious. One of her stronger points is protecting the members of her gang.
History: Born and raised in the Middle class, Makoto had potential to live a boring, mundane life. Unfortunately, bullies tend to change things up. She and her best friend were casual targets of bullying. At first, it was just name-calling and insults, but as they got older, bullies began to physically abuse them. Being the stronger of the two, Makoto took most of the hits, trying to defend her best friend. One day, however, Makoto's friend was found by the bullies when Makoto wasn't around. They took it too far, and she was put in a hospital after someone found her unconscious body. When Makoto went to see her, her best friend was in comatose.
Makoto was enraged. Simple bullies had hurt her best friend so badly, and yet they couldn't be punished, because no one witnessed them hurting her. She wanted to get revenge, but she knew she wouldn't stand a chance at fighting them, but then a chance arrived, when her parents got her into martial arts, in fear of the same thing happening to her. She excelled in wielding Tonfa, and after enough time had passed, she had gained the ability to fight back.
A day later, and she returned with several cuts and bruises, though it was nothing compared to the bones of the bullies that she broke. She was placed in trouble, and had to switch to another school. Across the years, her reputation as a delinquent grew larger and larger with every act. She wanted to make sure no one at any school she was at would suffer the same fate as her friend's, and being the toughest was the best way to do that.
Appearance:
Weapon: Tonfa
Persona:
~Name: Kali
~Arcana: Strength
~Drain: NaN
~Weak: Ice
~Null: NaN
~Reflect: NaN
~Resist: Physical
~Skills:
1. Arm Chopper
2. Kill Rush
3. Patra
4.Swift Strike
Gender: Female
Age: 17
Clubs/Occupation: Leader of a school gang (I'll work on a name after I know the name of the school)
Personality: Makoto is easily angered and annoyed. She is also rude, arrogant, and cautious. One of her stronger points is protecting the members of her gang.
History: Born and raised in the Middle class, Makoto had potential to live a boring, mundane life. Unfortunately, bullies tend to change things up. She and her best friend were casual targets of bullying. At first, it was just name-calling and insults, but as they got older, bullies began to physically abuse them. Being the stronger of the two, Makoto took most of the hits, trying to defend her best friend. One day, however, Makoto's friend was found by the bullies when Makoto wasn't around. They took it too far, and she was put in a hospital after someone found her unconscious body. When Makoto went to see her, her best friend was in comatose.
Makoto was enraged. Simple bullies had hurt her best friend so badly, and yet they couldn't be punished, because no one witnessed them hurting her. She wanted to get revenge, but she knew she wouldn't stand a chance at fighting them, but then a chance arrived, when her parents got her into martial arts, in fear of the same thing happening to her. She excelled in wielding Tonfa, and after enough time had passed, she had gained the ability to fight back.
A day later, and she returned with several cuts and bruises, though it was nothing compared to the bones of the bullies that she broke. She was placed in trouble, and had to switch to another school. Across the years, her reputation as a delinquent grew larger and larger with every act. She wanted to make sure no one at any school she was at would suffer the same fate as her friend's, and being the toughest was the best way to do that.
Appearance:
Weapon: Tonfa
Persona:
~Name: Kali
~Arcana: Strength
~Drain: NaN
~Weak: Ice
~Null: NaN
~Reflect: NaN
~Resist: Physical
~Skills:
1. Arm Chopper
2. Kill Rush
3. Patra
4.Swift Strike
I'll take Strength. Kali seems interesting to use
Sure. What arcana are you planning to have yourself?
Very well, I will withdraw. I fear I will not be able to make a submission for this in time.
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