TopSpeedOfSound

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Of all the times Sans wished that Frisk didn't have such a fiery spirit, now was the time he prayed for it. He didn't want her to taunt whatever had stalked them. If anything, he'd wanted her to stay calm and quiet, possibly keeping her safe from this... Being.

He guessed it was another monster, but he couldn't be sure without seeing it. He'd never encountered one like this though.

Rather than being offended, the voice let out another chuckle,"Wh-wh-why don't y-youuu asssk yo-yo-your friend thereee? Sure he c-c-c-can answ-er that one."

Focusing on the voice, Sans noted the familiar slur, but other than that, he couldn't place anything about the mystery monster. How in the hell was he supposed to know who it was? And more importantly, why was it there? What could they possibly gain from trailing around him and Frisk?

"A-a-a-alriiight then. 'spose I-I-I cannnn sh-ow-ow you," they leered.

And as the mystery figure stepped out of the smoke emitting from the crater Sans had made from his attack, the short skeleton didn't know whether to be sick or surprised. There, standing in front of him was... Himself. A distorted and negative version, but still clearly him.

His pupils disappeared as he just stared at the miscolored double of himself.

Sans was at a loss for words, but what could he say? He was facing himself. Looking at himself. Trying to protect Frisk and him from himself. So that meant the theories of alternative universes were true. No longer theories. They were realities.

The other Sans chuckled as he looked at the pair. It was really disgusting how they were holding each other like that. How they could even stand each other at all. After what that kid had done.... Why did his counterpart forgive her.

"Y-y-you two re-re-re-really are disssssgusting to watch-ch. How can yo-you even sta-an-and to be aro-und her? After all s-s-s-she's done," he commented lazily, eyes resting on Frisk with nothing but pure hatred.

No matter what universe he was in, he would always hate her.

Without another word, the corroded Sans raised his arm in the air, lazy grin still on his face, and threw it down to point at the pair. Sans watched in absolute horror as blue threads connected to the others fingers tugged down a gaster out of nowhere and hurled it towards him and Frisk. Tightening his hold on her, he dodged the blast with a roll and sent a few bones flying at the other, more so for a distraction than an actual attack. And it seemed to work as he crouched down behind a boulder and set Frisk down, making hand motions for her to stay put.

He wouldn't let something happen to her. He couldn't.

Before she could argue, he teleported away and sent his own gaster after the imposter Sans. It almost hit him too- missed by a hair- but the other quickly countered with a barrage of bones and a chuckle. "Why-y are yo-ou-ou defend-ing her-er? We b-bo-bo-both know wha-at kindaaaa m-m-mo-monster sh-sh-she is,"he mused, shooting another gaster to punctuate his words.

Sans huffed as he dodged as best he could, a bit faster now that he wasn't hauling Frisk around, but still tired from his lack of sleep. A bone managed to barely nic his femur, making his meager 1hp quivering for a moment, but it still stood strong. As he made to dodge the gaster, he didn't see the last bone coming at him that flew between his ribs and pinned him against the cave wall.

He struggled for a few moments before finally just settling back against the wall panting,"You don't get it. Nothing comes outta hating anyone."

The other Sans contemplated the statement for a moment and then shrugged, summoning a bone into his hand,"He-eh-eh you're p-p-probably riiight. B-b-b-but it's soooo much ea-eas-easi-easier to H A T E."

Sans watched as the other raised the bone in his hand and aimed it for his skull.

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

He didn't see anything out of the ordinary. Maybe they were just as shocked as he was about finding a new reality?

Doubtful.

He only snapped out of it when he heard Frisk's worried voice over the tranquil rushing water. Looking down at her, he gave a soft smile and shrugged,"Just needed a change of scenery I guess. Don't much like to be home when it's so quiet."

He didn't want her to worry over something like this, it was unwanted and unneeded stress that he wouldn't give her.

Besides, it could have all just been a sleep deprived hallucination.

"W-ow bro, miiight wanna w-w-work on your ly-lying there. E-ev-even I was-s-n't sold ooooon it-t."

Sans froze for a moment before looking around for the owner of the broken and deformed voice, but was met with absolutely nothing. He held on to Frisk a bit tighter as a chill spread up his spine and coursed through his very soul.

They had followed him.

His eye glowed as he kept looking for whoever it was, but no one appeared. Even so, he didn't let down his guard.

It wasn't until a low chuckle souned right behind him that Sans freaked out. All in a the span of two seconds, he was on his feet and leaping away as he fired a gaster at the spot, leaving a smoking crater where he and Frisk had once been. No one had ever snuck up on him before, and he quickly decided that he didn't like the feeling. Maybe he should keep that in mind when he did that to others.

Laughter echoed around them, distorted and cut out, but it served to send another chill up Sans' spine.

He glanced down at Frisk for only a moment before returning his gaze to looking for whoever it was. They had still yet to come out, and not having a face to put that creepy voice to was really starting to get under his skin(heh).

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Just as he predicted, Sans didn't really sleep, but it was nice to have Frisk curled in his lap.

Before their talk, he would've flushed a bit at having her so close to him, but after that emotional draw out, he didn't have the energy to be flustered. He was content just relaxing with her snuggled against his chest and watched her closely throughout her sleep for signs after another nightmare. Luckily when they were sleeping together like this, they seemed to go away, at least from what he'd seen so far. But he knew good and well there was an exception to every rule.

Papyrus left early, whispering a quick goodbye as he'd tromped quietly as possible through the house and out the door. And then it was just them.

...

Wasn't it?

Sans couldn't shake the feeling he was being watched. That they were being watched.

It wasn't like the other day when Alphys had crept up on them. It felt like there was a condescending spectator, spying on them with obvious malice.

Maybe it was just his imagination...

A loud crackling sounded behind him and Sans instantly whipped around to look over the back of the couch. His eye sockets widened in disbelief as what appeared to be a tear in the middle of the wall behind him sealed itself shut.

What the hell? What was that? A glitch? A tear in reality?

Sans was no stranger to the theory of other realities outside of this one, but never before had he come into contact with any of them until now. Was it possible for other realities to come into this one and interact with them? And if so, why were they just stalking around? Was there a reason they were being so secretive?

They needed to get out of the house.

Sans didn't feel safe with God knows who watching him. Granted, he knew that if they could watch him here in his own home, they could probably follow him anywhere, but there was just something unnerving about staying here after catching them in the act.

Without wasting another moment, Sans teleported away, landing him and Frisk at his post in Waterfall.

He didn't check to see if he'd woken Frisk, just kept his eyes open and scanning for any signs that they'd been followed.

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Frisk's sweet laughter rang in Sans' skull, a lulling and very welcomed sound. He just held her all the closer with a grin and massaged a gentle bony hand against her scalp. He hoped to hear more of it now that they were mostly in the clear.

He hummed in thought at her question, moving his hand to rub her back instead. "Hmmm, he'll probably be disappointed, but I don't think he'd mind." Although Sans didn't expect to be sleeping anymore. He was exhausted, but not sleepy. After something like this, he wasn't the type of guy who could just sleep it off. But that didn't mean Frisk couldn't be comfortable, and he silently hoped she was comfortable with him snuggling her like this.

As if on cue, Papyrus opened the bathroom door and peeked over the edge of the second floor railing, shower cap still laced over his skull. He smiled down at the pair and gave a quiet thumbs up, not wanting to disturb them after they'd finally gotten through to each other. Sans looked up to return the gesture, giving a tired grin of his own as the taller skeleton wordlessly crept to his room.

Sans let out a quiet, but content sigh as he completely relaxed, bony fingers still subconsciously running the length of Frisk's back. There was a peaceful silence in the house now, the television just a blur of quiet background noise. Not loud enough to be annoying, but not completely ignorable. Still, even with that, Sans just wasn't comfortable. Without the sound of voices in the air, he could only remember the silence that echoed through the house when Paps hadn't been there. It was disturbing.

And that's what lead him to his next joke.

"Why was the skeleton sad," his voice was quiet and almost tentative, not really expectant of an answer or feedback," he was very bonely." He didn't laugh at that one, not because he didn't think it was funny, but so he wouldn't disturb Frisk too much as she sat there with him. He was more than used to staying up for days at a time with only power naps to sate his need for rest, but Frisk didn't seem like she was.

He continued on quietly, joke after joke, a bad pun thrown in here and there, just something to keep him from thinking about before.

And even through the haze of emotions and exhaustion, Sans' mind came back around to his own issue at hand. He gazed down at the human in his arms and let out a small sigh. He could do it. No, he would find a way to stop Frisk's aging, or at least slow it down so they could all live together and then die together as well. But if slowing it down wasn't enough, then he'd rather he die before her. He couldn't stand the thought of living without her there. Frisk was a part of his home, of his life, one so great that nothing could take her places.

Hold her just a bit tight, Sans muttered softly,"I'm going to protect you... No matter what." He let his eyes drift closed, dozing, but still awake enough that he could respond if need be.

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Sans knew it was hard. Forgiving ones self was the biggest obstacle anyone could ever face. He knew that all too well.

There were still things he hadn't forgiven himself for, and a few that he didn't think he ever would. But he was working on it. Thinking about how hard he'd held Frisk's wrists, it was just another item on the list. He was so cruel to her, spewing on about how he didn't want to hurt her, and yet he had such little control over his own actions. A small part of him wished that Frisk would get upset over it. Or at least tell him not to touch her again. Something to let him know that it wasn't alright.

And as he listened to her, the last thing he expected was for her to want to be anywhere near him, not after his confession. But then she leaned in and wrapped her arms around him.

Sans froze, the white dots of his eyes darting to her in confusion.

Instead of letting himself over analyze her actions, the skeleton relaxed and returned the gesture, pulling her close to his bones. His soul glowed with warmth and comfort, reaching out to her. He knew that humans were different from monsters, but this was really all he knew to do. He'd done it for Papyrus more times than he could remember and it always worked. Even when Undyne had her rare moments of insecurity, he'd reached out for her. It was the only way he knew to truly help.

After a moment he gently pulled her into his lap like he'd done when she was small and wrapped his arms around her middle, planting his chin atop her messy hair. One of his hands absently found her wrist and thumbed over the red skin tenderly, trying to soothe it away. He let out a gentle sigh and released her wrist, instead taking her hand in his. They really were quite the pair. Both so guilty for something the other had already forgiven them for that it made them sick, a sickness that came in the form of relentless nightmares.

Sans quietly closed his eyes. This was enough for now. Baby steps. This talk had been a pretty big leap, but it was plenty for today. They were both exhausted, mentally and physically.

He let out a soft chuckle as a lame joke came to mind and opened his eyes a bit. "Why did the skeleton go to bed early," he rasped, giving Frisk a moment or two to think about it,"He was bone-tired."

He snickered a bit more than he probably should have, but with both exhaustion and relief pounding through him, he just couldn't help it. He needed a breather. Something to lighten the mood, and maybe even bring back that breathtaking smile from the girl sitting in his lap.

Hopefully she'd be alright with him changing the subject.

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Slowly he forced his gaze to rest on her as she spoke, listening to her words calmly in silence. As he did, he studied her expressions, her pain, her self-loathing, her frustration. He watched it all like it was his first time seeing such painful, yet beautiful faces. He envied that ability. The way both Frisk and the rest of the monsters here could so easily and willingly change their face to match their emotions. Even Papyrus was oddly expressive for a skeleton, but him? Sans had a permanent smile glued to his maw. It could turn down at the corners just a hair, and if he really tried, he he could curve those corners into a straight line, but at the end of the day, no matter how he changed it, he was always smiling.

He let out another humorless chuckle, leaning back against the couch,"I did hate you... For the longest time, I hated you so much that I could hardly stand it. And every time I killed you, I'd hoped that just that one time, just for once, you'd stay dead. But you never did."

He closed his eyes, going back to that time, all of his emotions, all of his frustration, panic, and pain.

Sans had never been religious, but he'd be damned if he said he didn't pray for Frisk to die, for her to just disappear and leave him alone, to leave Papyrus alone.

"I prayed, I wished, I hoped to whatever twisted God watching us that you would disappear. Or at least leave them alone and just come for me. I would have let you kill me as many times as you wanted if you had," he muttered, fists clenching into his baggy shorts and face scrunching a bit before both relaxed and his eyes opened a crack.

"You know, there were a few times I honestly thought about just ending it myself. I'd have waited until I'd tucked Paps into bed, waited until he was deep asleep, and then just let my magic go. But I couldn't do it..... And I just wept."

His breathing hitched on a half sob mixed with a chuckle,"Pathetic, right? Some brother I am?! I was prepared to..... With him...."

He stayed silent, swallowing a few times as he looked up at the tv, more to steady himself than anything else. He'd never told any of this to anyone, and each word, every memory that he repeated, it broke off a layer of his facade. Not the one he showed everybody else, but the one he'd convinced himself was the real him. The Sans who was never bothered by anything. The Sans who could carry the burdens of the world and still manage to smile like it was ok. The Sans who didn't remember the past timelines.

Taking a deep breath, he started again,"But then.... One day I asked Paps an odd question. I asked him what he would do if someone had pretended to be his friend and then just hurt him deeply for no reason. And ya know what he said? He.... He said he'd forgive them. Because, no matter how badly they'd hurt him, they were his friend."

Sans peeked over to Frisk with a small, but genuine smile,"So, you should forgive yourself too. I'm.... Struggling with it too. Even if you say you deserved it, I shouldn't have....... It wasn't justice. I just wanted to hurt you like you had me. And I didn't feel any better for it."

And as he tore his gaze away from her, Sans could honestly say he felt better than he had in a long time. He knew the nightmares wouldn't stop, not completely, but at least it didn't feel like his memories were going to explode out of his skull.

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

At her words, Sans looked at her, a mix of pain and rage taking over his features. He couldn't control the drop in his tenor, something darker and eerie as he all but shouted,"A N D N E I T H E R D O Y O U!"

It took him a moment to realize that he'd begun squeezing Frisk's wrists again.

Instantly he dropped them and backed away, not missing the angry red rings where his grip had been. They would probably bruise. Why couldn't he control himself? Was he really so monstrous? Well, he was a monster after all. Maybe... Maybe this was why the humans sealed them away in the first place. Monsters like him and Undyne.... They weren't mean or evil, but their emotions ruled them, and once out of control, it was hard to gather themselves.

He didn't look back at her, instead glaring down at his slippers. She was right. They... They couldn't keep doing this. But he didn't want to relive the nightmare. To talk about the horrors that they both vividly remember without even trying.

Their facade of happiness was over.

With a sigh of defeat, he sunk down on the couch, hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He didn't bother to turn off the tv. At least it gave him some background noise. "Where are we supposed to go from here, Frisk? I..... I-I don't even know if I can do this. Ever since.... Then... I'm not very good at controlling myself... I don't want to hurt you," he whispered brokenly.

They'd made so many new memories together, memories that had overwritten the bad vibes he'd had of her, snuffed out his hatred, and replaced it with a tenderness.

After a few moments of silence, he let out a dry chuckle,"We're some pair, huh? Killed each other more times than we can count, and yet..." He didn't continue that thought as he buried his face into his hands.

"I'm sorry..... I'm so sorry... You were just a kid........ You didn't know what... You couldn't know that it would turn out like this......."

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

He thought he had truly won the argument as Frisk seemed defeated by his response, and he had actually allowed himself to deflate a bit at that. But he was so wrong. He never should have doubted her and her determination. Honestly, that had been a mistake he made since the genocide timelines. He was a fool to think that he could prance around the topic like the delicate bomb it was forever. If not Frisk, then Paps would eventually begin to pry, but by blessing or curse, it was Frisk.

He instantly tensed as she stormed in front of the television, listening intently to her words, but at the same time wishing he were deaf. He didn't want to think about the past, about all the pain Frisk had caused, or all the times he'd failed in keeping everyone safe, or every single time he'd failed to keep Papyrus safe.

And when her determination flickered, his left eye blazed to life in response. Curlean billowed from the eye socket, and his hand reflexively snapped up towards her, his gravity magic surrounding her.

It took him a few long moments to compose himself and slowly release his magic from around her. His face contorted into pain as he looked away from her, eye still glowing and hands knitting themselves together so he wouldn't do anything else brash. It had been a very long time since he'd used magic on Frisk. And even longer since he could honestly say he was restricting himself from doing her any harm. But his body, his magic could remember the sick sense of victory he'd gotten from ending her life those first few hundred times. But now the thought of hurting her made him sick.

Why, stars, why was she trying to dig up these old feelings of hate?

Finding his voice, he swallowed thickly and spoke, his voice dark and flat, like it had been back in the judgement hall,"Why...... Why can't we just keep pretending it never happened? I never asked to remember it, I never wanted to remember A N Y T H I N G..... I-I don't want to hate you Frisk. This timeline, heh, it's really a dream come true, even if we all are still stuck down here."

He paused, taking a few deep breaths to steady himself. He could feel his magic trying to overwhelm him, the one thing rooted so deeply into his emotions that it threatened not only Frisk's safety, but Papyrus' and his own as well.

He remembered how he'd been drunk off of his own power in one run, and he'd taken his time killing her. He first immobilized her, then bit by bit picked away at her life in the most painful ways imaginable. He was sure she remembered that well, but she never saw those last moments before the reset, when his magic overcame him and painfully scraped away at his bones, taking layer by layer until nothing but dust was left, all because he'd lost control.

He wouldn't let that happen again, not here, not for there to be just another reset.

"What the hell am I supposed to do? I.... I can remember how at peace it felt to avenge Pa--", he chocked,"-- to pay you back, but... Y O U K N O W I T O O K I T T O O F A R."

She knew, because the reset after those few timelines, she'd flinched when he would suddenly appear. She clung to Paps whenever he would try to leave. She had been afraid of him. Because no matter how many resets they went through, the pain of that judgement had never faded. It was like the taunting voice of that damn flower. Always there, never fading.

Rising to his feet, he walked over to her, grabbing her wrists and looking her dead in the eyes,"W H A T I D I D T O Y O U W A S C R O S S I N G T H E L I N E."

How could she remembered everything and still be so calm around him, so unafraid? What if he snapped and couldn't control himself. Frisk was out of practice, and Sans had very little control over his magic when he was riled up.

He didn't release her wrists as he slowly calmed down, but his grip loosened to something less painful, as he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against her shoulder. "I don't want to remember either of us like that ."

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

When Frisk stood to busy herself with tidying up, Sans almost relaxed. Almost. Their brief silence was tense, and thick enough he could slice through it with a knife(he shuddered at that thought), but it didn't last.

He could tell Frisk was stalling, could hear her going through her nervous antics, and it made him deeply uncomfortable. His soul was quivering in his chest in response to her being on edge. And before she even opened her mouth, he knew what she was going to say. And he desperately tried to gather his thoughts before she did. Attempted to make some lame joke so the elephant in the room could just continue being ignored. Just like they'd silently agreed. Just like they'd been doing these past twenty years.

But she beat him to the punch.

His bony hands clenched tightly around his mug, as if it would make the situation disappear. But it didn't. Frisk continued speaking, unable to finish her thoughts with words. And the entire time, his fake smile stayed plastered on his skull, twitching a bit at the corner, but unaltered otherwise.

He stayed silent, even after she finished speaking, his shoulders giving barely noticeable quivers of their own as he gathered his thoughts. But what could he say? He'd tried so hard to avoid this topic. And promise? What did she need him to promise? They were fine. They were F I N E.

"Heh, nah, I think I'm good, kiddo. We're all good, no need for promises 'r anything sentimental like that. Just.. forget about earlier, yeah? It was just a bad dream. Nothin' to get all serious about," he babbled, standing from his chair and ambling over to the couch. God he wished he had the energy to shortcut right now. But he didn't, and now he was stuck here.

A distraction, that's what he needed. Grabbing the remote, he flipped on the tv and zipped through the channels.

He was running away in his own house.

But he didn't want to talk about this. He didn't want to create that rift between him and Frisk again. Not after everything finally seemed to be ok, or at least bearable. And he could live with that. Could keep going with the thought that it would all be ok like this.

Still tense with visible shudders coursing through him every once in a while, Sans tried to convince himself more than her,"Everything is fine. We..... We're fine. There's nothing to talk about."

Determination[TopSpeedOfSound & MurderVictim] HIATUS

Sans follwed after Frisk, Papyrus right behind him as they all tromped down the stairs. Well, technically he did all the tromping. He was just so tired, but he couldn't fell back asleep. Not after this.

He was calmed by Frisk's promise, but deep down doubt still clutched at his soul, clawing at it with a desperation he knew all too well. He was conflicted in how he should feel. He truly loved Frisk, he did, but some tiny corner of his soul also feared her. She had the power to rest all of this. To destroy years worth of memories in seconds, but she promised she wouldn't. She promised.

Heh, he was such a sucker for her though.

Steadying himself, Sans took a seat next to Frisk and set his hands on the table. His face. He had to smile. He... He had to let them know it was all ok.

He forced his bones to relax, putting on the most convincing grin he could muster, though it mostly served to show off how worn out and desperately tired he was. And he was so lost in thought that he visibly flinched when Paps set a steaming cup of cocoa in from of him. Trying to convince himself, Sans let out a light chuckle and took his mug in both hands, sipping on it to save himself from explaining the small jump.

Papyrus took a seat, his expression worried, but he didn't say anything. He hadn't heard what had been exchanged upstairs, but he was going to leave it to Frisk now. After all, only they knew what was wrong, Papyrus was just their support.

The taller skeleton took a sip of his own drink, trying to think of something to break the tension. But.... He couldn't seem to come up with even one topic. Typically he was a talkative guy with some amazing topic on his metaphorical tongue, but in this situation, he was at a loss.

What if Sans and Frisk just needed some alone time? Then... Maybe they could talk.

He really didn't want to leave them home alone, not after the night they'd had. So maybe just leaving them in the same room alone would be enough? At least for them to initiate whatever needed to be said.

Standing up, Papyrus chugged the rest of his cocoa and smiled down at the pair,"WELL I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, MUST GO SHOWER FOR THE DAY!" He didn't say anything more as he begrudgingly left his mug on the table in favor for a speedy getaway. He hoped Frisk would forgive him for that.

Sans was confused about his brothers' antics, but didn't say anything about it. Instead, he was focused on keeping cool. Up until now he'd done such a great job in feigning ignorance of the past timelines, but he'd messed up. Of course he was sure Frisk knew he remembered before any of this had gone down, but now he couldn't even fake it. Couldn't feign the innocence of the situation he wished he had.

He took a tense chug of cocoa.

Stars, he needed something to eat. Just something to distract him and calm his jittery nerves. Sadly, the heartwarming drink just wasn't cutting it.