At first when Kimberly started talking Carla just felt the sadness and pain growing stronger and stronger as she sat beside Kimberly. The idea of this kind of betrayal was too much for her. Frist her father, then the monster, then Hale, then Liz and now she felt like she couldn’t trust anything. She was alone in the world with no one to help her. Everything she believed in had been shattered over and over again. She felt a sob roll from her lips as she was losing control. Father’s should love mothers and care about families, no one should be robbed of their innocence, no one should hide their dark side because it’ll always come to hurt the people closes to you and lastly. . . even family can’t be trusted not to stab you in the back in the worst manor possible. When Kimberly brought up the price she was sold floor her arms wrapped even tighter around her body, her hands turned white from the pressure.
Carla was happy at the sound of the phone going off, it meant she could be alone. Being alone is how she had always suffered. Hiding in the darkness of a tight space because she knew nothing but the things clustered around her could get her. At moments like that, the world would just fade away into the darkness of pain and depression as she would struggle not to just end this all. She had so much to live for and yet going through each day was still a struggle. Even the good days. As Kimberly told Carla not to worry about the debt, Carla still didn’t look up her grip still tight around her body. It made breathing hard to breath. She let out a random laugh but it was at the thought that she was surprised with herself for not breaking into the panic attack that always followed. She knew it was lingering waiting for just the right second to hit her hard. She had a feeling it was the drugs in her system that stopped the panic attack. Even through everything not once had her heart started to race. Things were still slow and this slowing effect just made this whole thing so much worst.
When Kimberly finally left, Carla slowly lifted her head to look at the stairs her eyes bright red from crying, her hair still a mess from not brushing or drying it. Her body was sticky with her own sweat but at least the fever was gone. Slowly standing up she looked at the stairs before slowly glancing down the dim light hallway, the glass door at the end like a light at the end of the tunnel. Taking in a deep breath, she rushed towards the door and almost hit someone on her way out the door as she left the property and just ran down the road. She didn’t know where she was going, she wasn’t even thinking at that very moment, but her body was screaming at her to just run.
~~~Meanwhile upstairs Liz was still in her room she had lit up two different smokes and took turns dragging on both. She sat on her bed, trying to just numb herself to get away from everything she had fucked up in her life and was going to keep fucking up in her life because that was the type of person she was, no matter how much she said she’d change it meant nothing. She made others believe that there was hope for she had no issue with her own way of life. Laying back on her bed she glared up at the ceiling for a moment before rolling over on her bed. A hate for Carla welling up in her heart. No matter what happened around Carla she was always the good person everyone wished to be. She could do no wrong.
When a knocks hit the door Liz sat up and glared over at Kimberly. “You can’t just fucking walk in here you stupid bitch this is still my apartment. Get the fuck out!” She hissed at Kimberly before taking a drag of both her smokes at once, holding their smoke in her body for a long time before slowly letting the white cloud roll from between her lips. “I’m not fucking leaving, just take that 10,000.” She said with a wave towards the desk where a bag held the money she had planned to give Kim, after all the mob weren’t the only people she owed money, she may owe them the most, but it was better to pay off the smaller ones with only chipping away with the largest one. That and she was keeping some for herself. A girl’s gotta have fun and money to live off of after all.
~~~After bring up Luke and how he’d spy on them to see how Carla was doing, she glanced away from the small smile on the woman’s face, she shifted awkwardly in her spot almost feeling trapped. However, a sad look came into her eyes as she stared down at the table top. “Yeah, I guess.” She said softly, Carla had little to no faith in people, even those who put on the masks of happy, caring and friendly. It could all be a lie. No one could be trusted because everyone lies even if they are the closest people to you and who care the most to you. Carla realized her depression starting to show too much and shook it off a little by trying to bring things back to Kimberly. After all things were not about Carla right now, it was about someone who was suffering and needed help. Although not all people can be saved but Carla didn’t want someone even more so a woman to fall into the same doom she had.
Carla bit her lip a little as the brought up how she realized Kimberly was off her game. Carla glanced back down at the table, her body yet again shifting in the same awkward way. “Ah, well.” She paused before slowly glancing up at the woman all seriousness on her face. “I know very well what it’s like to hurt and I don’t wish this kind of pain on anyone.” She said her voice starting off rather strong before slowly getting softer and more depressed again her sadness leaking in before she glanced away to the edge of the table towards the open dining room. “The world is so amazing with so many great things in it. Sure there is a lot of bad things that are out there and be fall on people who don’t deserve it, but it’s best to try and push through it and keep going on each day and get that smile back on your face as soon as you can. Even if at first, the smile is fake or weak one day it’ll easily come back to what it was. Sometimes it just takes one person to do that.” She said with a bit of a smile. “For me that’s my big brother and well my dog Jem.” She said her smile getting bigger as she thought of the two before shaking her head. “But today isn’t about me, let’s make it about you.” She finished her smile still rather big from the memories of her brother and her dog. Glancing out the window her hair falling into her face a little making her one hand come up to push it up behind her ear. “Life can really suck sometimes.”
“It isn't life that sucks but the selfish people that use others that sucks. It's seems you can't trust anyone anymore, family or the people you date. If there is something to gain from fucking you over, their do it.”
Carla fell quiet for a moment, thinking it over a little before Kimberly carried on and brought up her family not being very trust worthy. “Well to be honest, I don’t trust many people. It can be really lonely at times, but over time as you test people keep them at the distance to save yourself you’ll see that one, two or three people can slowly be those that you can trust. Sure no one is perfect and will still lie, but things they’ll do won’t be to hurt you but do them because they want you to be happy.” She said glancing away from the window. “A good start is usually a pet if you can get one. Even a fish. I remember my brother got me a fish once, it was one of those kinds that have to be alone or they’ll kill others of their own type. A beta fish! It died after about two months, but it was a nice test run for me to take care of the dog more. Sure he looked over my shoulder but slowly I learned to take care of it.” She paused realizing how off track she got and blushed deeply. “I got kinda off track there didn’t I?” She said peeking up through her bangs at Kimberly.
The waitress then showed up at the table placing the plate down in front of Kimberly making Carla glance over, the waitress glaring down at Carla clearly pissed off. Carla shifted and glanced away clearly uncomfortable. First of all Carla was only about 19 at the time, the woman clearly older and much more of the ideal shape of a woman. Carla looked more like a 16 year old then a 19 year old. She had that young cute look about her, but her shape was rather boxy and boy like, but that didn’t mean she still wasn’t pretty, she just had no idea of her own beauty. When Kimberly then spoke in another language Carla glanced up a little confused. Carla could understand most of Spanish from the neighbourhood she lived in but couldn’t speak it. But that wasn’t Spanish. Smiling a little when the woman corrected herself she shook her head. “No thank you I think you should have it to yourself. I’m sure the chef will bring someone out randomly if I or umm we sit here long enough.” She said with a soft airy laugh. She couldn’t help but glance up at the door wondering if Luke was watching them again, but it seemed like for now he was working like he should be and like how she should be.
Glancing back at Kimberly she smiled a little. “What language was that by the way?” She said before letting their conversation flow for a bit before asking another question. “How’s the food?” She said with a bit of a smile. They may be a cheap little crappy diner but the food was damn good.
