TwelveOf8

Be my GM

"Rightyo." chirped Lanny.

"The heroic gag is a bodily reflex that combats even the most potent and deadly of toxins. Very few people are born with this marvellous gift. Those who are though, are considered chosen by the gods in some cultures. There are even rituals that are practiced in these cultures that tests whether one possesses this gift or not. The Shamira tribe in particular awards the status of chieftain to those who wield this heroic gag. enthused Lanny.

"Though as you may have already guessed, such a gift causes quite the reaction. First it begins with the quickening of the heart, then the sweats alongside the rise in temperature. Then finally, you receive this huge burst of energy and power that courses through your veins. You feel invincible, able to take in many a foe. But then.." Lanny explained in-depth.

He paused for a moment, his breath wheezed slightly. Lanny spoke so quickly and excitedly, that he needed to catch his breath. He took out a handkerchief from his left pants pocked and wiped his forehead. It was flushed with colour.
With one last deep breath he continued his informative lecture.

"One loses all of ones energy. One is then rendered unconscious by the sheer lack of energy that this defence brings. So much so that one is made bedridden for two days. Luckily I found you when I did, or who knows what would've happened to you. After two days you would be able to move no problem, but you'd be too weak to defend yourself." explained Lanny.

"But I wouldn't be going around testing the limits of this gift if I were you young man. If you were less physically fit and in less than perfect health then, I dare say, you'd very well be much too weak for this reflex to work. counselled Lanny gravely.

"And it goes without saying but please have someone around to feed you and help ease the inevitable fever. That's if you so decide to use this reflex again, for whatever reason. A friendly gnome such as myself probably won't be around to help you next time around." said Lanny cheerily.

"But before I tell you anything more. I would like to know if you have come to understand what I have explained. No offence but you humans can be a bit slow at times. Especially when it comes to matters of medicine." Lanny explained.

The Battle of Sea Salt Bay

@Rhythmloid Yeah, a wholesome family can be really cringy. A broken family is even worse when it comes to that stuff.

Tell a story, five words at a time!

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz nearby, the Beastie Boys were really kickin it old school.

Ban the Person above you

Banned because your surrealistic imagery is creeping everyone out.

The Battle of Sea Salt Bay

"Don't worry little darlin. Those critters won't hurt us. They can't even reach us up here anyway." placated Rolo.

"I mean, you could pray for those coyotes to go away, but then the great coyote would just laugh at you." said Rolo.

He cuddled Corinne while she buried her face in his arm. She felt so warm yet so fragile. She was so fun yet so adorable. Rolo couldn't help but be smitten.

"We haven't even gotten to the spooky part yet." said Rolo playfully.

He took yet another swig of bourbon. The soothing burn and that heady feeling. That hit the spot! He then continued his tale with gusto. The setting was just too perfect. Romantic and eerie yet wild and untamed. Truly it was Rolos most memorable date yet.

"Anyway, there were two people who went to these gatherings all the time. But the reason why they went was different to the reason why the other people went." explained Rolo.

"They were teenagers, about our age. A boy and a girl. The boys name was Khalo and the girls name was Lakhi. They saw each other all the time, but they were too shy to talk." said Rolo.

He paused momentarily before continuing. "They each prayed into the stone that the great coyote would give the other the courage to talk. Maybe ask them out on a date or something." revealed Rolo.

"But one day, the great coyote heard one of their prayers, or so they thought. Everything changed after that." explained Rolo further.

He could tell that Corinne was getting really interested in the story. Rolo could also tell that she was bursting with questions. And so Rolo paused every now and then so as to allow Corinne to satisfy her curiosity. For a brute, Rolo was so very gentlemanly at times.

GAME: Crush A Wish

This thread endures throughout the ages. Surviving even the apocalypse itself. Eventually it will be the only piece of evidence left that human beings ever existed. Aliens will discover this thread and nothing else. Our legacy as a species will be that of a bunch of buffoons.

I wish that the next post in this thread will be completely devoid of vowels.

Ban the Person above you

Beaned because I'm out of salsa.

The Battle of Sea Salt Bay

@RhythmloidIt is, especially my family.

GAME: Crush A Wish

The wish you make is twisted by irony, thus effectively granting your wish perfectly and without irony. Congratulations, you've created a paradox. The universe implodes.

I wish for a thread killer post in this thread.

Tell a story, five words at a time!

In the land before time, Littlefoot's mom, depressingly enough, died. But he had memes so all was well. Until Megatron laser cannoned the fire nation, destroying many cabbages and causing Littlefoot to become a powerful earth bender after Cera was brutally flung across the ocean. "By the power of Greyskull," the flaming homosexual wombat exclaimed, as he slipped and fell, only to be caught by a hopeless romantic trying to figure out the meaning of extraterrestrial existence in bed. Then he realized that without cheese, he could not feed his grandmother so he bought some power metal, pure cheesy goodness. However, Littlefoot was a metalbender, meaning the power metal could be bent, which would be glorious for Fire Nation. So Littlefoot challenged Megatron to a fist fight aboard the ship shaped like a cabbage. "Help me, Obi-wan!" Megatron cried, heard by a crimson eagle living in your basement furnace. Littlefoot tried to defeat Megatron by singing sweet nothings and tempting him with bacon, which was remarkably effective.

"Littlefoot," Megatron blushes, his metal lips stuck with bits of bacon while dipping some Szechuan sauce, "I surrender to your superior, the legendary Obi-wan Kenobi and his Mighty Morphing Power Rangers." Littlefoot laughed triumphantly and then said, "I am your father." Reaching out, he took Megatron's PC and downloaded Windows 10.

And then Nestor Makhno appeared.

"This! Is! Sparta!" Makhno bellowed, before stroking his mustache excitedly.

"If you say so, kid." Littlefoot replied, teleporting behind him before placing his hands on his shoulders to warmly embrace Megatron. Makhno, meanwhile, welcomed them both by performing an RKO outta nowhere. Littlefoot was stunned, but Megatron was impressed by his outstanding skillset.

"So tell me," said the man in the mirror, now twirling his hair

"No" Littlefoot unholstered his gat and immediately opened fire on his little toes by accident. Thus proving that a good set of fingers was required when you have little toes.

Makhno declared, "We must go bowling at Barney's Bowl-O-Rama. Now."

Littlefoot agreed, so they left. With all the haste of a coursing river.

Once there, Makhno spotted the Red Army. "Do you cheeki breeki, сука?"

The Red Army fired at the man in the mirror. Megatron saw this and laughed. A Tank rolled up and Makhno cried, "TANKIES!" in alarm. An Missile landed about eight inches, detonating Megatron's mechanical wiener. He needed a replacement right wiener, for two wasn't enough. The mission impossible theme started playing, and everyone started dancing the chicken dance. When winter did not come after dancing, the conga line to a white walker banquet was formed. In the end, many things applauded the Red Army & Makhno for taking a joke. Megatron cried, "EW MUST ESCAPES HERE FASTLY". But in the end, it returned to random dancing again. Optimus Prime punched Megatron in his pair of tits. Darkness rapidly approached the two, and consumes them, transporting them as Littlefoot committed Seppuku honorably. Until a Angel tried to play Sonic R on Playstation. The Spirit of Littlefoot went to bukake party. Utilizing a new semen body, he breaks the ice by using an ancient, mystical technique. That destroys the world as Megatron's new wiener launched to space reignited the passion of love before exploding on everyone's faces. Sephiroth arrived on the scene with an oversized magnifying glass, triggering mutation in Megatron's hand and making it go limp, which made him a polar bear with chronic depression. Sephiroth magnified the sun and it made the horse with huge tits.

Then SCP-682 arrived and caused the 2nd coming of Yami Yugi, King of games. Seto Kaiba dueled Yugi to a game of Truth or Duel. The answer was obvious they dueled at sunset in the mysterious shadow realm. The Endless Darkness had other ways to turn a man into a girl by shitting them out of it's mouth. It had never realized how orgasmic this could feel, it wanted to cause a anal fissure inside of Cera's pet cat. So it decided to grind unicorns and some dank memes to booty tap dat pussy ass. But then Littlefoot's soul desired sushi rolls, so he opened a portal. Staring back through it was the Decepticon fleet; they immediately dropped this, sick, beat! Cuz