"Being pregnant is when you have a baby in you, but he was talking about himself, not you. You see he's pregnant with a bunch of little red lobster babies, very rare condition, best not to mention it in front of him, he gets pretty emotional about it SO, what are you doing for the talent show?""So boys can also have babies depending on the circumstances..." Ami had heard stories about pregnant men before, but to think that one was here in Yamaku! But there were also other matters to attend to. For one, Kyle was asking what she was doing for the talent show. Holding up the tree puppet on her arm, Ami answered "I'm doing a ventriloquist show. I've been spending the last couple of days training my voice for the show, and I think I'm about--"
"Amity Cole," one of the staff members backstage called out, obviously stumbling over her thoroughly not-Japanese name.
"You're up.""Ready!" With a not-quite-a-smile in Kyle's direction, she made for the stage. This was it. Time to do or die! Ami stepped up onto the stage, not-quite-smiling as always as she stepped up to the microphone, carrying the tree dummy behind her where (hopefully) nobody in the crowd could see it. After a brief second to clear her throat, Ami started speaking in her usual cheerful-enough-sounding monotone.
"Thank you all for being here tonight. To be honest, being the opening act makes me a bit nervous, but other than that, you've been a bit misguided. See, I'm not performing solo." As she pulled forth the tree and stuck her right arm in the hole at the bottom, she finished "I brought a friend, too."
"Heya, Yamaku kids."The vocal training Ami devoted herself to backstage just earlier was paying off. If she hadn't done those warm-ups, she probably wouldn't be able to pull off the voice she just did. It was deep, and it was gruff, especially for someone of Ami's size and monotonous voice. Not to mention booming with grouchiness; a very stark contrast to the typical bland tone of Ami's voice.
"And you've just recently gotten back to Japan, right?"
"Yeh. I went ta Canada to visit some cousins."
"I think I've heard of Canada. Was it nice?" Even Ami sounded a little more expressive. Granted, next to the grouchy tree puppet, she still sounded as monotone as ever, and one probably wouldn't even notice unless they were actually listening to her. But still.
"Terrible. Just terrible."
"O-Oh, I see. What's so bad about Canada?"
"The place is a nuthouse; nobody's right in the head 'round there. As soon as I got outta the airport, a buncha bearded assassins in checkered shirts came after me with axes. Axes!"
"What!?"
"They were chasin' me, talkin' about how they'd get paid after they chopped me over, with axes. Some Canadian out there must hate me."
"I'm sure they're not all that bad."
"Oh, yeh? Then how come they all carry around hockey sticks all day? Canada is a battlefield-to-be, Ami; we hafta warn our fellow Japanese. I even saw a couple guys speaking English backstage! Flawless English! You even talked to one of the guys! The West is gatherin' right here in Yamaku, I'm tellin' ya!"
"I think you're getting a bit ahead of yourself..."
"You say that, but it don't make you right. But what do I know? I'm just a tree that don't even got wood. I..." Ami ceased the puppet's speech and the moving of his mouth for a moment. Then she started turning him, having him observe the audience. Then back at Ami. Then the audience again. Then back to Ami once again, saying "Did you notice that?"
"Huh?"
"There's practically no guys in the audience. Lotsa young ladies, though. Good lookers too, most of 'em. Least now I don't gotta complain about being a tree without wood."
Ami did her best to look shocked at what the puppet was saying(?), but the best she could pull off was a twitch in the corner of her mouth nobody would have been able to see anyway.
"So are we done here?"
"Just about. Why?"
"You know how you're supposed to wear gloves when working with tree branches or somethin' like that? I have to work with some branches right about now."
"And that's my routine for tonight, everyone," Ami monotoned to the audience, the girl and the puppet in her hand both bowing toward the people in the seats. "Thank you for your time." With another bow and a wave goodbye with the free left hand, Ami returned backstage.
That was fun, she told herself.
I got to let loose a little, and pulled this guy out again.