Fine.
Once upon a time, not long ago, there was a little boy in Mexico. He was an orphan, and treated badly by the head of his orphanage. All he had to keep him from killing himself was a small T.V and My Little Pony...
One day, the head found out about this. She was enraged; how could a boy be interested in something so feminine? She whipped him and whipped him until he passed out from blood loss, and then locked him in a cellar. She left him to die.
Now the spirit of this boy wanders the world, seeking a way to enact vengeance on that which killed him- My Little Pony. If you do not post within the next hour, Rune, then the boy will cause My Little Pony to be cancelled. Forever.
Your gender will also be revealed, damnit.