I know. Believe it or not, me and Vin are roughly in the same age group. :P
In all seriousness, I know how you feel about essays, but you think undergrad essays are bad? Try postgrad. Some of the things they want will make you lose your hair. To be fair, this is from someone with English as her second language, so things might be different for native speakers (i.e. the rest of you sans Psyk).