It took me about a half hour, but I did it.

It took you half an hour to google some famous paintings? Shit man, either you type slower than my grandmother, or your google-fu is weak. Nothing to be proud of here.

Goldmarble said
It took you half an hour to google some famous paintings? man, either you type slower than my grandmother, or your google-fu is weak. Nothing to be proud of here.

I was forced to use Bing, that is why it took forever.

Is that different artistic representations of your would-be girlfriend?

Great. Now let's see you do a master study of one of those (or even just explain to me why they work compositionally) and actually do something impressive.

Ethan said
Is that different artistic representations of your would-be girlfriend?

The second is, nice job.

Sherlock Holmes said
Great. Now let's see you do a master study of one of those (or even just explain to me why they work compositionally) and actually do something impressive.

Umm...

Dork.

Joegreenbeen said
Umm...

So much for any hope of an intelligent discussion.

0/10 -- would not trust with a Crayola crayon, let alone a Waterhouse painting or a Van Gogh.

I think I face palmed so hard I concussed myself.

Sherlock Holmes said
Great. Now let's see you do a master study of one of those (or even just explain to me why they work compositionally) and actually do something impressive.

I am a total novice at breaking down composition, (I've never even taken a color theory lesson, let alone tried to break down another artist's composition), but I'd like to give this a shot.

The Mona Lisa's earthy tones are all it needs on the color front. This piece shows how using a limited palette is pleasing on the eyes, and the soft colors of the skin are offset nicely by the lighting on the material of her sleeves, and the embroidery of her undershirt.

The next piece, although a replica was hanging in front of my face every day as I went into my middle school, I couldn't tell you the name of it. I don't really see why this painting is even interesting, and it certainly doesn't catch my eye in a good way.

The piece thereafter I find to be done very well. The ever present curves in the painting give a soft feeling to a painting that could otherwise seem cluttered. I also enjoyed the use of shadows in this one.

This last piece is my personal favorite. The drab colors of the marshy looking area around her really set off the bright center of the painting. The details are great, and the cloth draping over the side of the watercraft really catches the eye. White clothing was a perfect choice for the female, and I love how the one candle that is lit is being blown in the breeze.

Sherlock Holmes said
Great. Now let's see you do a master study of one of those (or even just explain to me why they work compositionally) and actually do something impressive.

This is the reason I'm not an "artist".

I cannot intellectually deduce the compositional elements of emotion and thought....

IE: I can't make up enough flowery bullshit to describe some stupid ass painting to convince someone to pay a ridiculous amount for it.



How the fuck does that sell for $43 MILLION? Seriously, how the fuck can anyone feel that is worth that much money? How much of a con artist was the painter, or whoever started this piece's rise to ridiculous expense?

Fuck painting. Fuck art. I'm going into the forest to take pretty pictures.

Goldmarble said
This is the reason I'm not an "artist".I cannot intellectually deduce the compositional elements of emotion and thought....IE: I can't make up enough flowery bullshit to describe some stupid ass painting to convince someone to pay a ridiculous amount for it.How the fuck does that sell for $43 MILLION? Seriously, how the fuck can anyone feel that is worth that much money? How much of a con artist was the painter, or whoever started this piece's rise to ridiculous expense? Fuck painting. Fuck art. I'm going into the forest to take pretty pictures.

43 million!?

It looks like someone just stuck a band-aid with the squared edges onto a piece of paper, and plunged it into some old watercolor water that had A LOT of orange pigment dissolved in it.

monstahunta said
43 million!? It looks like someone just stuck a band-aid with the squared edges onto a piece of paper, and plunged it into some old watercolor water that had A LOT of orange pigment dissolved in it.

http://www.christies.com/about/press-center/releases/pressrelease.aspx?pressreleaseid=6755
My apologies. It was estimated to sell for $43 million at Christie's New York Auction in 2012.

It actually sold for $86.8 million.

Sherlock Holmes said
So much for any hope of an intelligent discussion. 0/10 -- would not trust with a Crayola crayon, let alone a Waterhouse painting or a Van Gogh.

I met Leonardo Da Vinci in a video game once. He was pretty chill.

Sherlock Holmes said
Great. Now let's see you do a master study of one of those (or even just explain to me why they work compositionally) and actually do something impressive.

I'd actually be interested to see you do this. I'm clueless about this sort of thing; I'm just lucky that I'm verbose enough to make it look like I know what I'm talking about to the uninformed. Anyway, educate us!

Goldmarble said
This is the reason I'm not an "artist".I cannot intellectually deduce the compositional elements of emotion and thought....IE: I can't make up enough flowery bullshit to describe some stupid ass painting to convince someone to pay a ridiculous amount for it.How the fuck does that sell for $43 MILLION? Seriously, how the fuck can anyone feel that is worth that much money? How much of a con artist was the painter, or whoever started this piece's rise to ridiculous expense? Fuck painting. Fuck art. I'm going into the forest to take pretty pictures.

So what pool fool went inside a boiler to paint this?

Halo said
I'd actually be interested to see you do this. I'm clueless about this sort of thing; I'm just lucky that I'm verbose enough to make it look like I know what I'm talking about to the uninformed. Anyway, educate us!

[2]

I really need to learn about composition. All I've got to go by right now is the rule of thirds, and limited palettes make a painting less of an eyesore.

Goldmarble said
My apologies. It was estimated to sell for $43 million at Christie's New York Auction in 2012.It actually sold for $86.8 million.

So, all I have to do to make money is paint something extremely bland and then channel my inner hippie to write descriptive shit about it?