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The United States Of The Americas. . . which took up the Western Hemisphere of the planet Earth, dissolved in the year 2270. The Revived Han and the Revived EU ruled East Asia, Europe and Africa, respectively. In 2025, World War III managed to be canceled out as soon as it was declared, as archaeological records show, but no one knows the causes or solutions to these historical events, for sure. All we know is if it wasn't stopped as soon as it started, it would have wiped out all our ancestors, and thus, it would have also prevented us from being born.

By the year 2271 had come and gone, records and research shows that the population demographics dramatically changed on Earth, Mars, Venus, Mercury and surrounding solar systems. No one knows exactly what had happened to our ancestors at that time. Some can only explain what happened through spiritual events, maybe extra terrestrial neighbors took them out, or perhaps there was a war that left structures standing and somehow killed off most of the population. We don't know.

Regardless, the centuries have come and gone many times over since 2271. The thought-to be Legendary Eternal Wizard, known more often as the "Act Raiser", as he is fond of the cultured things of Human society, leads a "Pantheon" for lack of a better word, over the New deities of the Humans around the Earth Force. "Lead" is not so much the correct terminology, so much as "heads". He is the official representative, figure head and mystic of this Pantheon, known as the Great Old Ones. His rivals for being the actual Sky Father of the Pantheon are known as Jorick, Sora, and Sherlock, although some others may occasionally become very pertinent rivals among the Great Old Ones. Buddha, who is by far much older than any of the already mentioned deities, seems to have risen in power quite dramatically, and has known to be "Number Five" among the Great Old Ones. The others, Act included fear that he soon may be the Fourth, and then the Third, and then the Second, and Heaven's forbid, the First.

The Great Old Ones are Byzantine planners and schemers for the most part. It's actually thought that the oldest of the Great Old Ones are for some reason lower ranking members of the Pantheon. Because of the rise of Buddha in power among the Great Old Ones, it is suggested by wise and respected Great Old Ones that the Council include more members than the Five. Buddha has already replaced the former Number Five, Elendra. Because of the unfolding drama that is the destiny of Humanity, only some of the Great Old Ones will be mentioned. Others may exist, and may feature in future tales of the Spam Seasons. For now, however, the Great Names of the Protagonists, Antagonists, and other important figures will be given for this tale. Whomever you choose to be your Hero, your Villain or whatever designation you wish, is up to you.

Act Raiser:
Act Raiser is one of the founding members of the Great Old Ones. He was known as "Frankenstein's Monster" at first when he was appointed the Arch-Councilor by more competent but less powerful gods. Merlin, of Arthurian myth, as wily as he was, couldn't have known what would happen when he agreed to manipulate Act Raiser for his own ends. Other conspirators include Prince Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, and Others. There were various reasons why Act Raiser was made into the Arch-Councilor, and thus the most politically powerful, at first. First of all, as Arch-Councilor, Act Raiser would be impossible to slay by other supernatural threats with guidance from the Council. His magic is greater even than Merlin's, though Merlin knew very powerful secrets of power that he could use to keep Act Raiser under control, Prince Machiavelli knew how to manipulate him and others around him for the other's ends, Sun Tzu was convinced that Act Raiser would be the perfect protector for the Great Old Ones, since he could defend and assault with his magic in ineffable, very ethereal ways that enemies could not perceive with enough teaching.

Their plan didn't work so well. The Lovecrafted, alien beings that originally had an identical name to our Great Old Ones, came into reality and waged war on the Great Old Ones. In a ferocious battle with Yog-Sothoth that was so Harrowing it changed Act Raiser forever, he absorbed all of Yog-Sothoth everywhere, and in all time periods. This effected him in bizarre ways. With the nature of his mystical origins, and the addition of Yog-Sothoth's power to compliment it, it was easy for Act Raiser to smite Azathoth into a permanent slumber, and imprison him, just in case he would somehow revive.

Over the centuries, Act Raiser seemed to become a maniacal, terminally creepy, although serene and kind hearted man who was always in his own world. He is only now still the First Councilor/Arch-Councilor because people are afraid to challenge him for his old position. Even if somehow all the gods were superior to him in power and combined against him at once, they all know that even though he isn't malicious, there is just something down right wrong and chilling about him. Merlin, Buddha, and the other most respected and wise mystics in all the Heavens say that the Cosmos could be thrown into a possibly permanent nightmare even deeper in both terror, hopelessness, torment, and evil than Hell ever tried to be if Act Raiser were to be any stranger than he already is.

Some have described him as the living, yet dead, miscarried child of Sorcery. When he discovered he was being used as a tool for the wiser gods to rule the Cosmos with absolute authority, he was thrown into what could only be described as an absolute, spirit rending banshee wail of torment that shook all the gods to their core. The very Cosmos felt a crushing, near obliteration of every fiber in it's being as Act Raiser hunted the conspirators down and tortured their souls just by his impassioned accusations. They all fled from him, proving that even he had limits to his power. But he easily over threw every assault from them before sending them into exile, when they should have been able to easily enslave him through their knowledge of his True Name, and laughed them into derision, the laughter of his mockery nearly erased their souls, minds, bodies and spirits.

Act Raiser is the guardian spirit that mortals invoke for protection of their children's innocence, safety and protection against deception. He is also known as the absolute power house of the arcane and mystical, even though he isn't able to teach as many spells or magical arts to mortals than many other Great Old Ones. His final, and perhaps most religious like, association is his Dominion over secrets and mysteries.

Although Act Raiser is a creepy, but kind, man, they say there is a darker side to him. They say, that hidden in his magical Palace, that has alien physics, foreign to most if not all the other Great Old Ones, is an entire city, civilization, some say, even world or more, of corpses, tormented victims and damned spirits, damned innocent spirits that scream and writhe in primal insanity as he talks to them. Others say they wake in nightmares to The Act Raiser tormenting victims in rather grotesque, unsightly ways, as he also contorts his own face in genuine sympathy, regret and self torment and screams in a way infinitely more anguished than their own cries of pain.

And the worst part of it is, it seems that their suffering only multiplies exponentially the more he suffers the regret, remorse, and guilt. Of course, those are just ghost stories. ::Looks around nervously to see if anyone is listening.::

Sora

Sora. . . where to start with Sora. Sora is the Great Old One so raunchy and uh. . . adult, that the enemy Great Old Ones including Shup Nikkurath blush at the memory of his existence or the mention of his name. Without trying to scar you with the mention of the nature of his magical powers, let's just say that he runs all the Red Light Districts of the Heavens. He is noted to be "Better than Cupid," in his role, and has enormous illusion based magic, incredibly potent enchantments. It isn't safe to go into much detail at all about the myths of Sora without making certain people's ears bleed, but he has great popularity and is admired by many for his personality as much as the other well known attributes of his reputation.

As far as combat goes, he is said to possess a power to mimic any other deity's abilities at a restricted, less powerful way. This is an extremely deceptively powerful magical ability. His power is invoked in the preservation of . . . shall we say, funny risque business.

Jorick
The wily.man. Some suspect that he is the actual Prime Conspirator and Mastermind of Act Raiser's previous status as a Puppet King, and somehow responsible for Act Raiser's dissolving into a mass of giddy, discombobulated creep factors. Some even think that he is a collaborator with the Lovecraftians, though no one dares say that to his face, and equally dare to say it even in whispers where they think someone may be listening. He is seen with Loki, Set, and David Xanatos frequently discussing mutually understood subjects. Everything from politics, to schemes of mischief, and getting down to business.
Some of the former accusations may actually be true, as some of the more psychic and prophetic Great Old Ones hypothesize, but some are definitely not. One thing is for certain, agents of many other Great Old Ones suggest Jorick is running some kind of Black Market Crime Ring, as a type of literal Mafia God Father. What the others don't knwo, is that "Littlefinger" Jorick is far more than a corrupt politician. What he is planning may separate the mortals from the Great Old Ones FOREVER.

Jorick is invoked for a wide variety of effects on their lives. Many of his invocations are less powerful than other Great Old Ones, but deeds done in the shadow, whether for good or ill, espionage and other such requests are done in his name, and to great effect. His properly neutral invocations, which is just as strong as other Great Old One's enhancements of mortal lives, simply involve politics. No one has seen him actually fight, though some are afraid of what he is capable of, including Great Old Ones that are above his "weight class".

Sherlock
A typically good, benevolent sort of fellow is the rigid Sherlock. The keeper of law and order. He is the enforcer, the guard's men, and the Judge. He is far more benevolent than negative, but he enjoys all of his work very well, including the unpleasant duties, such as executions. He leads the Society of Templars in Human society, and is frighteningly powerful against opponents who have breached some form of taboo, code of conduct, etcetera, as such as, he is called, "The Anarchist's Satan". Sherlock attempted to confine Act Raiser in the X-Zone dimension for a time for vigilante justice of attempted murder against the Conspirators. It did not succeed, and the two battled against each other for a very long time in a single duel. Neither of them managed to lay any kind of strike against each other and became honorable rivals who liked, more than confronted each other. If Act Raiser was interested in matching powers and fighting ability in a sparring match, they would spar with each other. As it is, Act Raiser and Sherlock just show up at each other's Palace in order to have supper, perhaps lunch, breakfast or maybe brunch.

Sherlock banishes supernatural threats to the X-Zone, with a magical power known as "Sheer Oblivion". "Sheer Oblivion' Is a nightmarish power that Great Old Ones know keeps Sherlock as one of the Five. He is known as the Patron of those searching for answers, Judges, Investigators and Executioners. (Or just those who deliver penalties of any kind).

Elendra
Her obsession with Meso-America is well-known among the Great Old Ones. She has power akin to all of the Meso-American gods combined. (Except if you could call any of them omnipotent). She is known as kind of a Female variant of Act Raiser. Her powers are based more on what the Pre World War III civilians called "Clerical Magic" of the table top games they enjoyed. She is now the Sixth, and no longer the Fifth Councilor, but her great competence at her duties has made the next higher Councilors down from The Five consider expanding the size of the Supreme Council. Ironically, she isn't accused of or suspected of any illegitimate deeds that any of the other Great Old Ones in the Supreme Council are, since she has discovered a replacement for the blood that the Meso-Americans once required. She is popular among them for her hospitality and creativity.

She is invoked for hospitality, receiving hospitality, servants (since they are related to hospitality), and unorthodox means of achieving goals/unusual plans. She is even seen as an inventor and one of the most brilliant inventors of the Great Old Ones. Leonard Da Vinci,, Gary Gygax, and Neil Gaimen are all her mentors, among other famous creative individuals throughout history.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by natsumehack
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did not find my name viva f3, or any variation of it 0/10 would not read again.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by ActRaiserTheReturned
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natsumehack said
did not find my name viva f3, or any variation of it 0/10 would not read again.


This like, Chapter 1. . . ;)
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ActRaiserTheReturned said
This like, Chapter 1. . . ;)


I know but i always say it.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by stark
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stark snarky genius

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I'm loving that so many people in Spam are doing all this creative stuff. Keep it up! :D
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Quadrophenia
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This was great!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by ActRaiserTheReturned
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Jorick
"Earth is connected mostly to portals and two hundred planets comprise it's territories.." Jorick explained to the shadowy figures sitting around the Shadow Council chambers. "Of those one hundred and fifty individual planets, we have a combined population of two trillion folk. No one's expanding, really, out of fear of extraterrestrial threat. While we could conceivably house many more times the number of citizens on most planets, we estimate that due to peaceful conditions, an abundant food supply, and near total security, within sixty to one hundred years, people will need to expand in order for our plans to succeed."

"I have a better idea than simply colonizing or even conquering neighboring planets. If the mortals down below need us, they will give us power. More power than we could dream. We could enslave the entire Omniverse, all the Cosmos and become mightier than true Gods, if we could conquer enough peoples, their worship, whether it comes from fear, dictatorship, or freedom, will strengthen us all, and everyone would fall before or strength. So, what shall we do? I have a plan. We will have the other races enslave Earth Force. We will make them be brutal, evil and heartless beyond all imagination of cruelty and the worst nightmares. Children mutilated, slowly crushed and violated in ways that only the most wicked minds could conceive of in front of their parents, before alien creatures fill them and their wives and lovers full of their parasitic children, which should burst forth from every pour and orifice of their bodies in the most excruciating way possible, as they are kept alive by their Stasis Chambers.

But it isn't going to stop there. I have found a way how to tear the souls and spirits of mortals from their bodies as they suffer in mindless terror while all the fibers of their being are violated unwillingly, infinitely worse than being torn from their homes, as I feast on every secret and morsel of their exquisite pain. With my knowledge, we shall have all of the Humans in massive ranches, where they will be bred for consumption, Rape camps, labor camps, concentration camps, mental asylums, hospitals as test subjects and other Necropolises. Some will be in assembly lines, walking towards the inevitable machines where they will be ground into meet and scream in eternal torment as their essences are taken from them, as a new born trying to take the nurturing milk from it's mother, never to be fulfilled, never to grow up, never to have lived any dreams of hopes, to never love again or be loved, and only to suffer agony as they ground into a red paste for ever and ever, every moment of every day, never to rest from their wrongly afflicted injustice and strife, without hope, forever and ever. It will be Eternal Darkness to the countless men, women and child who will meet their unjustly brought end for time beyond time.

All of this will be, only because we willed it. Their gods, the ones who brought them nourishment, their sexual desires, their magical powers, their scientific marvels, their artistic delights and strength of muscle, heart, blood and groin will be impotent to deliver them for their Eternal Torment, and they will all know when they are severed from those who once were their guardians. They will hate them, they will forsake them, and they will not have the power to stop us. WE, shall arise from the shadows to deliver them. Their children, their lovers and their friends, from three millenia of hopeless pain, slavery, and torment while we will wait in our places of refuge, looking on to the cities of Hell for the right time to take the spoils of conquest. Our idiot minions shall have had been tyrants over Humanity for three thousand years, being fulfilled for their every desire, while the Humans will know their Eternal Destiny to follow after their already Hellish lives will be infinitely worse. WE will deliver them from their fate, brought to them by our minions, who were stupid enough to trust us! We will then have our new slaves! Our new sons and daughters! Our loyal dogs and disposable servants for all Eternity, because without us, they would have met the same fate as all of their ancestors after the Age Of Darkness. Then, their slavers shall meet their same fate! We shall feast on their souls while the Humans shall fuel the Cauldron it's fires! Our worship will extend for Aeons beyond Aeons, and we will be OMNIPOTENT!!! Brothers and Sisters of the Dark! Blessed Be The Darkness!"
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And Now, For A Commercial



Yikes! Well then Ed. You get my vote.
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Centuries Earlier
"Jorick! Your days of deception and treachery against the Great Old Ones are over!!!!" It was Sherlock. His face was in an expression of nonchalance. "You didn't think you could get away with conspiracy with Nyaralathotep against us within my very own Citadel, did you?" Sherlock rhetorically asked. "It really isn't a good idea to insult my intelligence by fleeing for sanctuary in my own Realm and then try to stab me in the back. I'm quite resistant to that sort of thing you know. It's why our battles against each other are always so fruitless. You are the shadow, the darkness and the secrets of the hidden heart. I know the heart, I expose the darkness and shine the light of Inquisition. You cannot escape, and I am loathe to think that you would stoop to such a childish ruse as this."

Jorick smirked. "You know what happens next. The others are off to do battle with the Elder gods on the outer planes.Only few of us are left to defend this place. I wonder why it took you so long to discover my whispers in the dark so many centuries ago. You had always suspected something. You knew of the black market, you knew of the slaves off our dominion's expanse. Why did you never expose me? I always knew that there had to be something of a plan in your skull that was arrogant enough to think it could out wit me. I did some rummaging in the Citadel's archives. I have found you out, Sherlock. You are wounded. . . that is why you have not exposed me. Should you have, our next battle would have been final. My agents in the dark would have finished you."

Sherlock's face stayed the same. "That is why I stayed behind. You cannot open the Gate of Oblivion. Nor can you open the Seal on your creatures. There is not enough energy to pull from the Great Old Ones while they are outside these planes. Thus, our battle can safely be concluded without risking myself, or others." Joricks' face nodded. "There's plenty enough truth in that. Yet I have plenty enough of a surprise for you." Just then, the massive halls of the Holme's Citadel shook in a violent tremor. Sherlock looked to the ground as mysterious fissures opened the marble floors, and a massive vortex of swirling red eyes and tentacles opened from underneath. Sherlock's eyes widened. "You fool! What have you done!?"

Evil laughter from Jorick erupted throughout the Citadel. Sherlock pulled the sword from his cane as tentacles whipped towards him. . . he severed one of the eldritch whips, and a horrid scream shattered every window and thing of glass in the entire structure. . . Jorick clutched his ears in pain as his deific eardrums also splattered like little balloons filled with blood. Sherlock fell to his knees, clutching his ears as well. . . The tentacles reached towards Jorick and Sherlock slowly attempting to squeeze the life out of them. Just then, a shining blue light flashed searing the giant monster's eyes and tentacles like fire. The creature screamed again. . . this time, Jorick had been knocked into unconciousness. Sherlock screamed his ears also splattered. . . and he began to fade away. Guru had materialized through the walls. . . The screeching was painful even for him, but he was outside the Citadel. . . He had covered his ears with magical fields of energy. . . Guru gathered a massive vortex of energy into his hands. . . the blue light was shining brighter and brighter as the monster burned. Finally, as it gathered it'self for another attack, this time he whipped towards Guru.

The blue light streamed into the monster, causing it to screech undeniably loud. . . However, as it did so the light shined through Jorick and Sherlock, sending them into another place in the city. The screaming power of the monster caused the field to waver inside Guru's ears. When the monster was slammed with Guru's Exile spell, it gave a low moan, and was sucked back into the Vortex. . . a scream of agony and frustration erupted from the Portal just as it closed. . .destroying Guru's protection in his ears and knocking him out.

Sherlock's Citadel rebuilt itself. It was easy for it to do so since it was constructed from Law and Order. Jorick, Guru, and Sherlock all awoke the the next day. . . Neither of them remembered any of the events that had happened. Jorick only remembered the time of the confrontation. . . he didn't know who won, or what happened. Neither did Sherlock. Guru only remembered making it inside the Citadel. Something was wrong and all three of them knew it.
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