(1/10) In an effort to restore some interest in roleplay discussion, I am going to bring back some old, good content. Such as...

What is your opinion of romance? Good or bad? Do you enjoy it or avoid it? Why, and to what extent do you pursue or avoid romance in role plays? Is there any difference between group rp romance and 1x1 rp romance?

Note: The one standard I upkeep in these types of threads is that if your post is inflammatory, I will report it, and I myself won't judge people's choices. In essence: I'm here to play peacekeeper. Discussions are fine. Flame wars and hate speech are not. Before you post just remember to ask yourself: Would the almighty golden Fonz statue be okay with it?

Other than that: Romance, yay or nay?

Absolutely. I've found that romance tends to help add to an rp and its story, but it all depends on the particular players, characters, and how that romance comes about. If it's an unplanned, natural extension of characters' interactions within the rp's story, it can help work as nice character development and drama for the characters and generally be an interesting experience.

However at the same time, there's a lot of ways in which it can go wrong, which can immediately turn me off it. One of those is if it's something that's forced between two players (who 'ship' their characters) and not something that's been built as a natural development of the characters' prior interactions. It just reads as forced, unnatural, ignorant of other players within the group and their characters and also just appear as... kind of boring. It depends on the type of romance, I suppose, but as a whole a pairing that's forced through into an rp tends to just be kind of awkward. I'm also not really a fan of some instances where players either rush through a romance development to the point where again, it's unrealistic and unnatural, or if players push that romance to the forefront of the rp to the detriment of other characters and the main plot itself, and instead force the focus of the rp onto it. That's always pretty shit.

But overall it comes back to and depends on how well written it is. I think romance can help add a lot to an rp as a subplot, so long as it's done naturally and with care, but that could go for a lot of other things too.

EDIT: Also I appreciate the effort to bring more life into the RP Discussion forum. I haven't seen any topics here that's caught my interest to reply to for a while now, so kudos for that.

Although I have very little interest in romance based roleplays or having my characters involved in a romantic relationship with others, romance does have it's place.

Romance in itself isn't really good or bad but is dependent on how it is played out and the people involved. It can further and deepen a plot, especially on how it is played out and can create a unique dynamic not only between the two characters but with the relationships with other characters, especially if some sort of conflict is added. Looking beyond the troubles romance might bring when it comes going beyond PG-13, things can turn pretty ugly if romance is not done correctly within a roleplay. One example of this that I've seen is when two people start to get their characters wraped up with each other too much that their focus starts to move away from the group itself and it can be quite difficult trying to roleplay when there are two different groups with two different agendas for the roleplay. Pacing also seems to a common issue that I've seen when it comes to romance. So many times I've seen characters fall in love within their first post of meeting each other and confess their love and start a relationship a few posts later which equates to meeting a person for the first time and making them my boyfriend in less than five minutes. I'm not saying it's not plausible of happening but the pacing of many roleplays with romance added seems far too quick.

Romance is ok, but personally would never do an rp based on some sort of romantic interest. Its something she'd only bother with if it happened naturally during the RP. Pre-planning that sort of thing feels pointless as you already know its going to happen.

Really not very big into it though, never tried to have a character peruse a romance in RP and never had anyone try to spark up a romance with one of her characters. It'd be interesting to have happen but a lot of RPs dont really even last that long to have that much development.

Yay, assuming it's done right. I agree with what Pachamac is saying, really. Most of the other issues I have with romance is within a group setting. One on one, I've never had an issue.

That said my problem with romance in a group setting is that it all too often detracts from the importance of other relationships dynamics. And God forbid the romance is ever one sided. Just recently a player changed the sexuality of her character so that the crush mine had on hers could eventually be returned. That's nice and all for the characters, but it eliminated a chance for some good character development. It eliminated what I would've preferred to see: a platonic friendship.

Romance also tends to lead to characters avoiding the same gender with group RPs. This irks me for a couple reasons: 1) LGBT characters are kinda left out of the romance altogether and 2) it again detracts value of platonic, sisterly / brotherly / mentor-apprentice type relationships. And they can be super awesome and fun. I'm not saying these sort of bonds can be built between characters of opposite genders, but very rarely is Male A's intention to become BFFs with Female A.

I think one of my mates and I (both dudes, but we did it for the literature, maaaaan) were going to have something romantic happen between our characters brought on by what we were doing for our story arcs. If it's an interesting, realistic, natural progression then I don't mind.

I've seen romances that had jumped the gun too early and weren't as in depth as would be interesting.

Done right, romance has a place, done wrong, it should be left out. The distinction? A very fine line, hard to see, harder yet to tread upon without crossing.

Considering the guild rules (due to google ads, we believe) concerning descriptive attempts at reproduction, romance can in some ways be harder to portray without blacking out bits or something like that. But in other ways it can be easier because of the same reasons. Rather than the descriptions like "He [redacted] her [redacted]", you might find ways to describe it without providing any against reasonable policy detail. After all, despite what some (simpler males especially) think, romance != Sex. There are a lot of ways to describe romance that do not require any form of blackout.

Like one style we've heard about a faction in a specific tabletop RP system... "you can't spell necromancer without romance". Using blackout level details there is doubly bad. Not only would it mean things normally done in a blackout, but it would quite probably involve necrophilia as well, which most civilized societies frown upon.

We think it would be fairly interesting to have a character of ours be part of a well-crafted romance. Especially since those characters generally turn out to be pretty inept socially. But if it would not add much to the story, we'd rather avoid such than to ruin it by including it.

I will admit, I am a softie and I adore romance in RPs. That being said I don't ever participate in RPs where romance is the point of the RP. I can't see myself having fun with that, ever. I need meat, not sugar. But as so many here have said I find it to be a great way to add depth to a RP when done right. I adore it as a GM even if it isn't with an NPC because it gives me more tools to work with, people to kill off, weapons to work with etc.

Done right can be hard, because pacing and timing can be tricky, especially in a group and things IC move much slower. So that people who are enthused by the Romance might forget that while the RP is over a month old, the characters are only newly acquitted and professing their undying love after 20 mins of interaction is a tad much.

It is certainly easier and more natural to pace in 1x1's but it can be done in groups even though it is much trickier as I said before. I've had a few group RPs where the side romance of some of the PC's and their focus on it took them out of some plot important happenings and side lined them for over a month while the group "caught up.". Their 5 min make out-session kept them out of a plot important scene that took about a month of OOC time to finish and they were left cooling their heels.

I'll also add to further hammer home a point made above, Romance =/= sex.

Seduction and romance go hand in hand and can be RPed out (because seduction isn't just sex either) but there are certainly classy ways to handle it IC even in a group that do not make the others feel uncomfortable. Because I've been in a few of those, group RPs where we had to tell people, "geeze, get a room!" and they didn't. :/

So that's my early morning, pre-coffee take on romance in RPs.

The basis of my judgement of roleplays has always been founded in depth, the better roleplays almost always carry quality beyond just good writing styles and fancy words. Romance is just one possible dimension to add to roleplay however I've often found that more often than not it's not implemented properly. Beyond the obvious results of pure smut writing and sexual based intentions, it often lacks a realism that translates to a proper perceptible depth. Whilst realism does seem like an odd word to be throwing around in roleplaying, especially with the strong presence of fantasy and science fiction premises, I've always believed a degree of realism should exist.

With that being said it can also depend on the roleplay itself, in some situations it just isn't necessary nor appropriate but in some it can really add to the depth and therefore quality of that roleplay. My beliefs is that it has to be used properly to be effective, else it often proves more damaging than constructive to a roleplay, a common root cause being a lack of realism. Emotions need time to blossom and grow, thus romance sections can't be written as a spur of the moment thing which is what often happens in roleplays. I think a basic guide for romance in a roleplay would be based in both duration and setting, most likely the longer the characters have been interacting for the more likely they are to foster a romance and also the situational pressures can completely upset the table.

If I had to sum my thoughts in a line it’d be that romance can be a very good component of a roleplay but only if you know how and when to use it.

I love romance but I think simply as others are saying it should be the spice and not the main focal point.

I agree with Lillian and others who say as long as it's natural and not planned out. Those that are planned end up stilted and forced and worse the characters involved might end up clicking better with another and then there is ooc drama. I prefer to play it as I would in life, if it works and it is the right time, great. Well done romance can create deeper and more vivid characters and enjoyment for the writers and readers but as it's been stated, it should not detract from the group and the main plot.

I've noted that no one has yet mentioned romance from a more direct character perspective. I have a character in my own roster who is a "romantic"... a young male who has left his home specifically to, as the saying goes, "sow some wild oats." Though I always RP him as a "gentleman" in his endeavors, never one to force himself on an unwilling female, simply someone who's not shy about showing his interest, or lax in letting his "love interest" know the relationship is simply temporary... a "fling." Of course, he's also not shallow enough to just be seeking one-night stands, so romance is not his only interest or involvement in life.

Heh... a few years ago, on another site, I actually used him in a "Speed Dating" competition, and won "Best RP" and "Most Romantic" awards for my (and my site-chosen partner's) efforts. So yes, romance can be a fun and interesting edition to an RP, if done right.

Romance is part and parcel of the biological imperative and therefore a subject we can expect to see written about. I don't mind -- it's totally a valid part of the human experience. The Twilight stuff is bemusing to me, but I suppose I'm not the target audience anyway.

I think a romance is more interesting when there's a twist...because real life romance tends to be full of that stuff.

I'll be replying to them mainly as the OP questions asked, simply cause it helps me better collect, organize and explain my thoughts on the matter.

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Well here's an old topic I did not think I'd find myself ever discussing again.

Brovo said What is your opinion of romance?

Romance can be good, great even in an RP. But it is very commonly abused/misused, and is by no means necessary.

Brovo said Good or bad?

Overall Good I'd say, but has a lot of potential of bad/killing RP's. But honestly speaking? I think any Roleplayer who allowed their RP to get killed over an in-RP romance was not an roleplayer who was going to help the RP stay alive too much regardless (and I even criticize my former RP-self by saying this).

Brovo said Do you enjoy it or avoid it?

Now? I avoid it, for reasons better explained below it basically got the point it's too basic/elementary/meaningless. Maybe I just ran into meh examples (outside of cases where the whole RP was based on a romance), but it largely just doesn't grab me now like it used to. Mainly due to by familiarity with romances now, and having once been burned by long enough stuff, stuff practicing relationships is no longer something I run into nilly-willy as if it's all positive and great, and there's a lot of pain and ugly involved... something close to no RP's ever address (and no, I'm not going "Oh woe is me! I once had a bad relationship so I shall forever mope. I'm simply saying I learned its not nearly as picture perfect as most RPs paint it as, and so simply as a result I care not to get involved where they are put in such a fantasy light).

In the past I did get into it a lot however, but that's just about to be described below in the next questions answer.

Brovo said Why, and to what extent do you pursue or avoid romance in role plays?

Back when I first joined the Guild to a little more than mid-way through my Roleplaying time on the Guild I was involved in a lot of romance RPs. Now I mainly try to avoid of them.

I got heavily into romance's back when I started here because quite frankly it was foreign territory to me at the time, and like many roleplayer's I wanted to roleplay & be part of something I didn't actually experience or wasn't be. Take advantage of the powers of fantasy and narrative to put myself in a brand new world. And honestly it did help me build up basic relationship skills which eventually helped me in getting involved in an actual (however, also with a lot of fantasy/built of garbage which had to be knocked off over time). However having been 15-17 during most of this, it could of very easily also just been my hormones going off.

I don't get involved in RP's really though at all today, and that was largely due to burn out. Having gone 20k+ posts crazy on the old site I mainly just lost interests in forum roleplay's, especially when other venue's like D&D started to become available. But assuming I beat this burnout and got involved (which given my insane amount of free time I might) relationship based RP's would be one's I largely avoid. For two main reasons, first being that I simply no longer have the same fantasy motivation as before, by now its already is an area I have experience in. Secondly, RP's mainly paint a false image, going by logic such as "Love will always keep us together", simply overlooking actual pressures relationships face (time to see each other, relevant interests, location, schedules, other commitments, simply knowing what to say when your partners upset etc.) and also set's up imaginary end goals (ex: We've had sex, the end. We got married, the end. We had a kid, the end.) where relationships keep going past that, they don't magically become perfect. If anything the demands on them become even harder. So it's also a main fact of if I did get involve in a RP romance, it most likely feel incredibly stale, and unrealistic, and that simply does not make for good narrative or story telling.

Brovo said Is there any difference between group rp romance and 1x1 rp romance?

99% of the time I'd say yes.

Group RP's have a plot/goal outside of the relationship basically all the time, mainly cause very rarely do people want to RP a Polygamists relationship or some sort of love triangle. It gives a general focus, plot or theme to follow. If say Mark and Tawina stay back and go on a date, Jim, Tyler and Sarah might still be busy holding off the Orc horde. Rather terribly cause they're missing two of their people. Or say Mark and Tawina want to run off and live on their own happily, but they can't because there world is in danger (which could serve as a good plot hook). The two players might want to say "The war get's won and they run off to live their dream", but then you got three other players who put their foot down and go "No, we got a plot to do".

1x1 has no enforced plot by outside parties, if they stick to a non-relationship plot or not is entirely dependent on those two. Granted, a relationship plot is not all bad (ex: Clannad anime), but without there being other plots to keep it somewhat more realistic it's up to the two players to keep it relevant, engaging and moving. It has much more potential to fall apart simply because there's no outside party to leash to try to stop it if does start to become all "Love my life, shall we be happy forever?" sort of thing.

Brovo said Other than that: Romance, yay or nay?

Yay because it is simply foolish to boycott certain themes or character arch's, and romance is a big one if done right. But you need a good group of roleplayers to actually make a decent RP out of it and avoid it simply being a dating sim.

Roose Hurro said never one to force himself on an unwilling female.

So he's not a rapists?
Why exactly did you feel the need to state this part? o.O

Magic Magnum said
So he's not a rapists?Why exactly did you feel the need to state this part? o.O

Sorry, could have worded that better. As in, if the lady says no to his interest, he'll accept it and move on, though he is perfectly able to form a non-romantic friendship with the opposite sex. In other words, he's not the "pushy" type. That's what I meant. And I mentioned it because it was a point of character development. Aaand this topic has its focus on the romantic elements of roleplay.

Romance is a part of roleplaying. You can' stop it, because people want to do it. We always want to fit into other peoples shoes, and thats why we roleplay in the first place.

Roose Hurro said Sorry, could have worded that better. As in, if the lady says no to his interest, he'll accept it and move on, though he is perfectly able to form a non-romantic friendship with the opposite sex. In other words, he's not the "pushy" type. That's what I meant. And I mentioned it because it was a point of character development. Aaand this topic has its focus on the romantic elements of roleplay.

Ah okay then. :P
I was worried for a moment there.

Nothing wrong with being worried... unless that's all you do. Right? ...Grins...

Magic Magnum said -snip-

You can always tell when someone frequents OT.

To answer the OP: I'll echo most others here and say that romance only has a place when it feels natural and organic as part of the personal development of two characters. I embolden "characters" because all-too-often, two characters fall into a romance because of the flirtations of the roleplayers, even though those two characters would never, in actuality, have had any interest in one another.

Roose Hurro said Nothing wrong with being worried... unless that's all you do. Right?

Touche