First post out :)
I just ended on a cliffhanger so I'll try to get another post out tomorrow.
I just ended on a cliffhanger so I'll try to get another post out tomorrow.
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Simplicity
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Simplicity said
First post out :)I just ended on a cliffhanger so I'll try to get another post out tomorrow.
That's really good writing o.o
Simplicity
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Plightz said
That's really good writing o.o
Really :D
Thanks! I started role playing to get better at writing so thanks! Any constructive criticism or something I can improve on?
Simplicity said
Really :DThanks! I started role playing to get better at writing so thanks! Any constructive criticism or something I can improve on?
Not really, you have really good writing, but one thing I did notice is a small amount of misuse of the comma for lines like;
Simplicity said
and most mindless, task.
Other than that, it's really good
Simplicity
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Plightz said
Not really, you have really good writing, but one thing I did notice is a small amount of misuse of the comma for lines like;Other than that, it's really good
Thanks for the advice/tip/comment :)
Simplicity said
Thanks for the advice/tip/comment :)
Welcome!
Now we wait for the others to post.
Amaranth the Kasaanda
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4 hrs ago
I'd love to post but I need two more people to post before I go again u.u
GM
Heyitsjiwon: Good character. I'd like to give you the same advice I gave Enigma. In the State, there is no promotion. You are stuck with the job you are assigned (not including how James became a Reaper). A couple things that don't seem to follow this:
Perhaps his parents could be high-level employees. I wouldn't use the word "professor" though, since it implies the kind of scholarly person that the State avoids producing.
You could combine the subjects into the history of law, but generally you wouldn't find a person working two jobs like that. James's association with the Reapers while keeping his job is fine though. I like how he goes undercover like that lol
Once these two things are adjusted, I'll accept your character :)
Heyitsjiwon said Born to parents who worked in the Information Departments and eventually became government approved "professors"...
Perhaps his parents could be high-level employees. I wouldn't use the word "professor" though, since it implies the kind of scholarly person that the State avoids producing.
Heyitsjiwon said The government took this to be a sign of James' great potential as a loyal, duty-bound citizen. At the age of 18, he was working double shifts. They were both in the Old Information Department, but he specialized in two subjects, history, and law.
You could combine the subjects into the history of law, but generally you wouldn't find a person working two jobs like that. James's association with the Reapers while keeping his job is fine though. I like how he goes undercover like that lol
Once these two things are adjusted, I'll accept your character :)
Heyitsjiwon
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4 yrs ago
Made the changes by just deleting the issues.
Heyitsjiwon
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4 yrs ago
Question. Are Reapers armed?
GM
Some of them are. It depends on what the Reaper's job is. Usually the guards are not (as strange as that sounds), but they can call the ones that are whenever they need to. Guards mostly just do firsthand spying to try to catch things the cameras might have missed. The armed Reapers are the ones that carry out abductions, and even they don't have very advanced weapons. They might have a billy club or a small gun like a pistol. They also carry cuffs in case of resistance.
Simplicity
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Wolf. You are in day two of this world and I am still on day one. Does that mean that in my next post I need to finish my current day and start on my next to be up to date with you?
GM
No one said we all started on the same day :P I could have started on Oct 26 and you on Oct 27. If you were planning to start on the same day, it doesn't matter too much. I was planning to wait a little before posting again. Just as long as you don't go off on a long tangent that holds everybody up, you should be fine
Simplicity
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Wolf said
No one said we all started on the same day :P I could have started on Oct 26 and you on Oct 27. If you were planning to start on the same day, it doesn't matter too much. I was planning to wait a little before posting again. Just as long as you don't go off on a long tangent that holds everybody up, you should be fine
Got it :)
I will post again tomorrow my time (which will soon be EST. I've been on vacation so my time has been a little strange. It will be normal tomorrow when I get back home).
Darkwolfsoul010 The Forgotten
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6 yrs ago
I'll post after I get back form work tonight!
Simplicity
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New post up :)
GM
I'm still a little ahead of most of you, so I'm gonna hold off on my next post for a while and let y'all catch up lol
Also, in case you didn't notice, Darkwolfsoul010, the business owner I referred to was Kathrine. Matthew's coming for her!
Also, in case you didn't notice, Darkwolfsoul010, the business owner I referred to was Kathrine. Matthew's coming for her!
Darkwolfsoul010 The Forgotten
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6 yrs ago
Wolf said
Darkwolfsoul010, the business owner I referred to was Kathrine. Matthew's coming for her!
Heyitsjiwon
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4 yrs ago
Will work on a 2nd post later today.
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