Does anyone have a similar problem like mine?

I'm sort of the class joker, everyone sees me as friendly, outgoing and a thick skinned kind of guy. I'm famous among other classes for being the troublemaker the lecturer always calls on. I become friends with almost anyone regardless if they're the nerdy types or those that love partying. I consider myself quite popular since even people who I've never met before seem to have heard of me. This is me back in my old school, my new school or with friends I met outside. I enjoy myself lots when I'm like this and I'm glad people see me as a fun guy to be around... but ironically I have really flimsy confidence.

I am dependent on people who see me as confident.

As long as there is a single person around who sees me as my confident self, I can be ridiculously outgoing. But when there isn't? I become this really shy and timid person. I become reaaaaaally awkward and sensitive. Some people say everyone is like that, being awkward around new people but they haven't see how I'm a polar opposite of my regular self and regardless of how much time passes, I cannot act or feel confident if everyone around me has not seen me when I'm in 'confident' mode before.

I swear this sucks, it makes new environments absolutely horrendous for me. Does anyone else feel my pain?

We spend a lot of energy trying to convince each other that we're so cool and confident and in-control, but understand that having total control over who you are at all times is a nirvana-like aspiration that most of us have.

And developing that kind of control is pretty much the underpinning of every self-help book and concept out there.

I don't know what the solution is, but I do believe in maximizing the amount of time you spend around sources that compel you with confidence. I think what happens is that the confidence becomes part of you because you get used to it like a sense of healthy entitlement. And the more you can rally your own confidence means the less you need to borrow from others.

Believe me, I try to maximize the time I'm around people I know all the time. Feeling pathetic and awkward isn't exactly my cup of tea.

Strangely, this has still only built up confidence around people I know. So I feel even more confident around them(?). Still, I hope that eventually my subconscious would do as you say, and believe from the bottom of its annoying self, that I should be more confident of myself. The confidence I have is 'confident in being liked'. This is what matters most to me and I think it should matter most to almost everyone. Being confident that people will like you basically means you can really be YOURSELF. You say what you feel and you act how you want to.

You could always see a therapist if you think it's a problem.

I'm the opposite of you; I can't stand people. I don't trust people, I don't want to be around people. Confidence is the least of my concerns, and I'm not going to type my issues or diagnoses because that just opens the door for judging, misconceptions, ignorance, etc.

You probably should be more confident about yourself, but would you do that for yourself or others? You know you're confident around people who seem to think you are, but aren't around people you don't know. That would suggest you're not a confident person. I also don't know what the hell I'm talking about.

I guess its because I'm afraid of people, afraid of being judged for being who I am. Thats why I crumble when I meet new people. I start thinking "will they think its weird if I do X or Y?"

But to people who've seen me or known me, I can be myself :/

I feel like most people are like this. It's practically human nature to be afraid of other people judging you (why do you think the fear of public speaking is so common?) and everyone feels more comfortable when they have friends around. I'd hardly call it a "dependent personality problem" - that almost sounds like some kind of disorder. Really it's just a problem with how the average human is wired - nothing to stress about.

So just remember if you meet a stranger and you're sort of awkward standing next to them, bear in mind that they just might be feeling the exact same way. You're not alone in this.

Most people feel this way. To your friends and everyone else who has seen you in your 'confidence mode', you don't feel pressured to prove anything. They've already seen what you're like when you're at ease. Strangers and new people don't know anything about you so you feel the need to prove yourself which has the adverse effect of making you insecure and awkward. It's perfectly normal.

It also means that you're not confident in yourself at all. True confidence comes from within, not from outside validation.

A person who doesn't have confidence in himself, wouldn't be able to walk up and sit with a bunch of strangers and start chatting to them.

>This is in school environment.

Then again a confident person wouldn't be here asking for opinions on how to be more confident in situations he isn't. I guess I'm just weird, probably a result of some awkward mental conditioning I subconsciously gave myself.